Disclaimer: sigh! Do I have to do this again???? [FINE!] I do not own Saiyuki! {buhuhuhu!! blah blah blah yadda yadda!!}
A/N: KONICHIWA!!!! Thank you for those who reviewed the first two chappies! {bows head "Maraming Salamat Poh!" [Thank you very much!!!!]} I really appreciate it! You're the ones that urges me never to give up! That's why I'm dedicating this fic to you guys and I hope that you will like it!. By the way…sorry if there are some Pinoy words in my fanfic…maybe it's just that I'm proud of being Pinoy, but I tried my best to minimize it this time so that everyone can relate [and I italicized them and placed their translations in brackets (^_^)]. I also want to apologize if I didn't have the time to upload my fanfics fast. It's just that I've been very very very busy in schoolwork [Damn! Being a second year high school is so hard!!!! Biology…Geometry…Asian Studies…yadda…yadda…yadda! IT'S SHEER TORTURE!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! BUHUHUHU!!!] anyway…WELCOME TO CHAPTER THREE!!! (^_~)!!
p.s. I suck in grammar!!! [I don't focus much in my English subject!]…so please forgive me if there are bad stuff like that in my fic [I'm only human, I make mistakes too] you can always say it nicely to me ne?
If and Then Statements Chapter III By dragon_wing_masterSTATEMENT # 14: IF Kougaiji's step mom is…ACK!…a vampire?!!!
…THEN…ohhh!!! So that explains why Lirin have cute itsie bitsie tiny lil' fangs??
…THEN…Kougaiji might commit suicide…it's pretty hard for him to bare with his freaky step mom but…can he bare with a blood sucking step mom?!!
…THEN…Let's call Goku…the vampire slayer!!! [Goku: nyoibu!!!!! {stabs Kougaiji's step mom on the heart}]
…THEN…So…her secret weapon is sucking other people's blood??? {sweatdrops…ehehe}
…THEN…hmmmm…so that's the reason why she's cooped up in the dark…she's afraid of the sun [Did I say sun?…that must mean she's afraid of Sanzo too (^_~)]
…THEN…Lirin is also a vampire…and I'm sure that she can't wait to have a taste of baldie Sanzo's nyummy blood {smiles slyly}
…THEN…can't imagine half of her body having wings and flapping around at night…ACK!...ASWANG!!!! [A/N: Aswang is the Philippine version of vampire…F.Y.I.: half of the aswang's body is separated from the other half and bat wings sprout in it's back allowing it to fly…kinda gross and creepy Ne?]
…THEN…errr...imagine the Sanzo-ikkou's reaction when they found out...
Gojyo: Doku!...You're working for a vampire?! What the bleeping bleep of a bleep [censored]! You really don't have good taste in women... and still, I call you brother?!! Tsk..Tsk.. {shakes head in disgust}
Hakkai: {smiles weakly} ehehe...{sweatdrop}...Gomen minna san... demo...I don't think I want to waste my chi' balls on this...er...creature, can I ask Hakuryu to toast her instead? [Hakuryu: {sweatdrops} KYU? KYU? KYU?]
Goku: It's a good thing that I just ate garlic!!!! Vampires hate garlic right?!!! [jumps happily]
Sanzo: Chi' BAKA SARU!!! What are you planning to do?!! Kill her with bad breath?!!! {WHAPACK! WHAPACK! from the almighty fan} So you're the one who's stinking in the jeep a while ago! {again...a few WHAPACKS! from Sanzo's almighty harisen]...Chi' and I thought that I just stepped on some...{looks at Gojyo and Goku...they're both smiling}
Gojyo: some...
Sanzo: {eyebrow twitching...veins popping mad} URUSAI!!!! {A few Whapacks! and the rest is history!}
...THEN...Gyumao is stupid! I can't imagine that he replaced Kougaiji's mom with a...with a...with a...{dragon_wing_master zipped her mouth and kept quiet and hid behind Hakkai...Kougaiji's step mom is eyeing her with very very hungry eyes in the neck}
STATEMENT # 15: IF Kanzeon Bosatsu is a...A WHAT?!!...A WITCH??? [dragon_wing_master...I think you're watching too much TV...or, maybe it's the effect of loads of schoolwork...Yipes! I guess it made me insane...I'm talkin' to myself!!! {dragon_wing_master shook her head}]... back to the statement...
...THEN...imagine Kanzeon Bosatsu riding a broomstick when she descends from heaven to meet the Sanzo-ikkou!
...THEN...er...imagine Kanzeon Bosatsu with a wart on the nose!!!!
...THEN...hmmm...perhaps she could turn Jiroushin into a toad if she gets bored in heaven? (^_^)'''
...THEN...Hey! Maybe she's Prof. Trelawney in disguise! Kanzeon Bosatsu loves "future telling" ne? Imagine Kanzeon Bosatsu saying in a creepy and screechy voice: "It's a bad omen!... It's the GRIM!...The Grim...The Grim is here...Beware...!!" [A/N: Prof. Trelawney is the divinations teacher in Harry Potter...the weird psychopath who keeps on telling Harry Potter that he's "about to die!!!"...what a moron! (Ooops...no offense to Prof. Trelawney fans out there...er...if there are...fans out there]
...THEN...she has a wand!!!! [Kanzeon Bosatsu: Wingardium Leviosa!!!] ACK!! I'm out of here!!!
…THEN…she will make a potion that will make her look…er…younger?
…THEN…what will happen to heaven now??? [Heaven will turn into a weird wonderland…imagine it having lollipop trees and icings, it's windows made up of chocolates and it's doors covered with frosting…DAMN! What the hell am I thinking! Maybe It's just that I'm hungry…I guess (^_^)]
…THEN…hmmmm…will she make a love potion so that she could [AT LONG LAST!!!] marry somebody????
…THEN…ehehe…what will his nephew say??... {a lil' peek on this scene guys!}
Kanzeon Bosatsu: Sanzo…I have a confession to make, I hope that you can handle this terrible news…I'm…I'm…I'm a witch!!! {says "Abracadabra" and she changed into an ugly, terrible, disgusting, (whatever you want to call it) old hag!}…You see, I used a magic spell to make me look younger and prettier, but the truth is, I'm a thousand years old already!!!…but…this is how I really look like…
Sanzo {looks at Kanzeon Bosatsu from head to toe}: Chi'… I don't see any difference, KUSO BABA!
Gojyo: GASP!!! She kissed me once!!! {spits on the ground} Ptttttt….pttt…YUCK!!!
Hakkai: Yare Yare desu ne…Sanzo have wizard blood in his veins!, that means you will receive a letter one day inviting you to study in Hogwarts! You have to be careful then, I heard that they turn students into frogs and…Oh well…The only way I could help is to lend you a certain dragon…Ne? {looks at Hakuryu}
Hakuryu: KYU! KYU!
Goku: really??? You can do magic then!!! Can you turn this stone into a meat bun puhleeze???!!!
Sanzo: URUSAI!!! BAKA SARU!!!
Goku: ITAI YO SANZO!!! {rubs sore head}
…THEN…The saiyuki boys must be very very careful…Who knows what Kanzeon Bosatsu has in mind??? {smiles slyly}
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To Be Continued… (^_^)
A/N: I'm really really REALLY sorry if this chapter is very very short, it's just that I'm too busy in schoolwork that I don't have the time to focus in my fanfics. By the way guys, a friend of mine is asking [begging actually] me to put a statement about Meteor Garden [IF the Saiyuki boys will play as the boys in Meteor Garden and something like that…Yadda Yadda]…The problem is, I haven't watched it yet {because of lack of time and the only reason why I open the television is to watch anime (^_~) and some good movies on the tube, and…er…I dunno, it's just that I'm not the type who watches telenovelas and the like {no offense please}, but my friend insists that it's not like those mushy Italian-dubbed-Filipino telenovelas that's usually aired on TV } so…I guess I have to ask for your suggestions guys, If I receive reviews wanting me to put this stuff…I guess…majority wins (^_^)! Well gotta go! Oh! And please please please please …REVIEW!!!! I really want to hear from you guys…but if ever you don't like my fic for whatever reason, you can always say it nicely to me, Ne? and Suggestions are always welcome!! Bye!