Disclaimer: I (still) do not own the characters of Tales of Symphonia, however much I wish to do so.
Warning: This chapter is why this story is rated R. If you insist upon reading it, please find a secluded area. WARNING! There will be inappropriate things in the sentences to come, though it's not that bad. Prior warnings still apply...
Pairings: Sheelos is all that matters anymore. (Did you notice a little bit of Kraine in the last chapter? Actually there's some in this one, too.)
I'm proud I can finally set the standard for the rating of this pairing. Let's roll. Although, 29 pages looks a lot more impressive on paper... Only 18 typed...
Taiy-chan: I think I would die of happiness if it was made into a movie/series. That's been my dream all along! Thanks for reviewin'.
starr: I like your thinking. It's probably best that this stay to a more mature audience just because younger people wouldn't understand some of the issues. And maybe being the first plot-oriented R-rated Sheelos will pioneer me to my goal of 100 reviews! Thanks for a confidence boost : )
potter29vo: Oh, but dear, you were the one who truly started the Sheelos craze! You inspired me, and I'm just campaigning! I'm going to keep it rated R, but I'm going to make another edited version that's rated PG13 so it can be in the community. My point in writing it was to make it the first smutty Sheelos with a plot, and it'll have to stay that way for at least a little while (I hope not to offend!). And though you can't update for awhile, let me compensate! Oh! And just so you know, you have a cameo in this chapter. 'Pegn' is derived from 'Pen', the Elvish word for little, or mini. MiniMinnie...! Ongoing thanks for being a partner-in-crime.
zaki: Aww, were you? That's so sweet! Oh, Zelos... ::dreamy sigh:: Yeah, he was my favorite since before the beginning. I looked at his picture for the ad in Nintendo Power and fell head over heels. He's definitely my favorite! ::huggles him:: I hope not to disappoint!
jellybeanz225: Hehe, well I'm glad I attracted someone because it's rated R. Wahoo! It's so much fun writing this story. The fact that you like it only makes it better!
Tarauka-Sosuro: You're a very clever reader! ::Most Perceptive Award!:: Do you, like, crawl into my window and read my notebook late at night? Hm, or perhaps the mana shortage was too predictable. I myself only made the connection to her lack of mana when I played the game for the third time; it's quite convenient, really. I don't mean for this story to be as eerily close as it's getting to the game... But really, good memory!
Rin: Heh heh... Yes, mana shortages are fun. Ish! Yup, I'm going to continue as R for right now because I didn't write this in the dark for six months for nothing. Nothing too graphic, though, still... because I'm a wimp...
Ryu Isaac: Of course they were made for each other! Thanks so much for reviewing! (Tho' I see it's for chapter 9... I know it's a lot to read in one shot... I usually have to take it in pieces)
MWUHAHAHA!
--Trickssi
"Just for this moment/As long as you're mine/I've lost all resistance/And crossed some borderline" Wicked
Chapter Twelve: The Point of No Return or Chastity
Afternoon. Overhead the clouds rolled gently across Heimdall's sky. Sheena ceremoniously washed her scrapes and bruises, watching the dirt drift away. The only true wounds were scratches on her arms from the rocks along the sides of the precipice, and these she did not bandage. Nobody bothered her, and she bothered no one.
Evening. Mealtime passed with the same terse words. Dinner had been prepared by the inn's owner, a small-framed female named Pegn, who had not much else to offer to the Chosens' group. A kind elf she was, sneaking a plate to each of the half-elven siblings through an unwatched window. The food, however, did not have much taste, as went the stomachs of the elves not to indulge. It left the humans craving some sort of tangible satisfaction; "a big freakin' piece of meat," Lloyd grunted at one point. Sheena ate what she could and apologized to Lloyd on the way out for not being able to cheer him up at such a bleak time.
The moon was accompanied by its black shawl as it rose. Clouds dotted the nightscape still; though with no sign of precipitation, they seemed superfluous and benign. Sheena took to standing in the night air from the balcony of the inn. Inside she could hear a tiff between the convict and the child over who would have which bed. There were five, and that meant one person had to sleep on the floor. Lloyd was out; "he needs his rest," Colette had said. Colette and Sheena were spared because of their gender and age, so the pliable youth and the manly 'presidente' were at odds over who was to take the last bed. No one seemed to notice Zelos's absence.
"Okay, you two," Colette stepped in. "Here's what we'll do. Since you can't share the big one, you two can take the separate ones on the right. Lloyd and I will take the ones on the left, and Sheena can—"
"That's five," corrected Presea. Colette's face fell.
"Who am I forgetting?"
"Zelos," answered the ninja, walking calmly back in. "You forgot that idiot Chosen."
"Oh no! Where will he go? He can't sleep on the floor..."
"But we also cannot trust him to share a bed with Sheena," Regal said.
"I wish to sleep alone," Presea commented.
"I as well am not giving up my own bed if sharing can be at all avoided," Regal added quickly.
"I want to sleep close to Lloyd but the big bed's too far away from him," lamented Colette softly. Her innocence restricted her to volley for anything else.
"I guess Zelos will sleep on the floor," Lloyd reasoned. "I wouldn't mind."
"Nor I. He is likely to turn against us in our slumber," said Regal bitingly.
"Eighty-eight percent chance of second betrayal."
Sheena could hardly stand to hear them. The level-headed peers she had known to always act with good judgment now refused a man a second chance when he couldn't even defend himself. Where was he anyway? She headed to the door.
"Where are you going ?" asked the angel. Sheena whipped around.
"I'm going to find Zelos," she replied. "Interpret as you wish."
Out she marched, not caring what they had to say about her choice in trusting him. And this way she could make it seem as though she were retrieving him to end the battle of the beds. He stood overlooking a river that flowed quietly across the lush grounds of the elven village; and in this scene not even the benches were amiss in their decoration against his beauty. It caught her quite off-guard to see her favorite part of him before having to face the blunt perversion. His hair lay drooping across his back, waving slightly in the middle and culminating in a clump of curls. Oh, how she would have missed that hair.
Sheena slowly approached him, but let her footfalls known as a kind gesture. He turned, and swirling behind him went his locks. Pity, for his face was quite discordant with some mixture of fear and strong self-loathing.
"Go ahead," he said bitterly. She was confused, shocked that he would utter such a line at all. She hadn't spoken to him since that morning about what happened. "I'm waiting..."
Zelos had been expecting a slap, kick in the shins, verbal assault; all of which he'd received at some other point in the day. He had definitely deserved it from her. A turncoat and a fool should not be taken lightly.
"You stupid Chosen," she said at length. "You damn stupid Chosen!" He was relieved to hear the beginnings of a rant. However, he was not prepared for her embrace.
"What—?" he asked, astonished. "Don't you hate me, too? Everyone else does. Jump on the bandwagon."
"If we all go walking on eggshells around it you'll only feel worse," she answered smartly. "You ass. As much as I hate your garrulous mannerisms, I can't go all day without them." Sheena let go of him and backed away a short distance, unsure of what to say to him in this peculiar state. Oh, the inn, right. "Yeah, I came here because they're fighting over who has to sleep on the floor back at Pegn's. They were going to make you do it, but I said no, because I felt bad taking the big bed. So I'll sleep on the floor."
For a moment the old Zelos sparked to life. "There's six spots. Six people. Nobody should have to sleep on the floor, and especially not one of my hunnies when there's an open spot next to me!"
"Yeah, I know it sounds ridiculous, but Regal and Presea refused to share, and Colette said she wanted that bed because it was close to Lloyd, et cetera. They forgot about you, but when I reminded them they put you on the floor anyway. They... don't trust you," she said, looking to the river.
"Do you trust me?" A moment passed wherein his words echoed eerily around her.
"I... said I trusted you before. I'm not gonna take it back," she replied simply. "You saved my life. I would have died."
"No, you wouldn't. Cruel little time-and-space rupture by Mithos: you'd keep falling forever until you drove your mad self to believe you were dead to end the pain of existing in that void," Zelos explained honestly.
"I am trying to cheer you up, Zelos! It's the thought that counts, right?" Sheena stormed. "So just take that stupid bed and get some rest."
The Chosen took a deep breath and sighed loudly. "I don't think I want to, though; go back right now, I mean," he added, seeing potential quarrels from only his first statement. "If they're fighting so much over me it'll be kind of awkward. And they won't like you either because you're treating me nicely. It's warm out here anyway."
"I don't think it's that warm. I definitely feel autumn coming on."
"Oh."
"..."
"So..."
"Zelos, I want to know exactly how you got the aionis," she requested.
"Well that came out of nowhere."
Sheena fumed. "I just want to know what was so difficult that there was no other option than betraying your friends! A-and me! I need an explanation for all of this and I won't feel guilty about forgiving you."
"All right, sit down. This could take awhile," he began. "I'm going to tell you all that's happened so maybe... once... someone can understand.
"Cruxis, as you know, has been on my ass for nearly sixteen years now, and it's all because I fell under Mithos's spell. He has this way of seducing people into his trap. Men, not people, I guess. Or rather, boys, even. And I was a gorgeous little child, so of course I couldn't resist. Don't get me wrong; Mithos didn't do anything, he just liked to window-shop. I was safe from harassment (though it never seems to escape me anyway). He favored me, actually. I'm actually a rank below being a Seraph because of the fact that I'm easy on that creep's eyes. Which reminds me: Cruxis made me arrogant so nobody would be suspicious. I'm working on getting rid of that.
"So then Kratos decided to contact me via M—I really shouldn't be calling him that—Yggdrasill's secret line, and I picked up his transmission; 'cause at first I thought he found out about Lloyd's plan to ambush him. I wanted to receive the blow the hardest before it hit the rest of you. But it turned out to be just Kratos, traitor in his own right. And the gall of this guy! I knew all along he was Lloyd's father, which probably made me even angrier at him for hauling his son around to carry out unfinished business."
The summoner smiled at the animation in his face. He was clearly telling the truth.
"Anyway, he asked me if I could get some aionis from Yggdrasill because they had just had a nasty little fight. I agreed, but only because that'd be the only way I'd end up living. That, and I think Lloyd's a good kid and he deserves better than that ingratiating—man.
"I had to think of some way to be alone with Yggdrasill and keep you guys out of harm's way. I decided I would have to pretend I was loyal to Cruxis and 'betray' you. As soon as Pronyma, Colette, and I reached his room, I pretended to hit on Pronyma while he was busy messing with Martel's machine so he'd get jealous. He started arguing with her, and that was my chance to steal the stuff from a bottle behind the chest. By the time he had defeated her verbally, I had hidden the aionis in the floorboards beneath; and just to kick him while he was down, I resigned from Cruxis and told him it's because I'm never going to be queer. Should've seen the look on his face...
"Ahem! Then I got you guys, and after I was sure you were all safe, I ran to get the aionis from the ceiling of the library. And that's how I did it," he finished.
Sheena stared in awe and shock. She shifted ill at ease before crossing her legs finally, deciding this was a position in which she could not be vulnerable to emotions. "So you really were with Cruxis. Almost a Seraph..."
"Well aren't you glad I wasn't that? At least I'm not gypping my son out of a life because of the loose ends of mine. Martel, that man infuriates me!"
"You're right. You're lucky not to be as he is. I dislike him," Sheena agreed, cutting off her anger. Zelos then stood up anxiously, waiting for something to be said, and turned to her, now backlit with white. Intertwined with his red hair it reminded her of his wings yet again. An unavoidable look of commiseration overcame her.
"What?" he asked her stare.
"Nothing," she said quickly. "It's just the moon... Makes it look like your wings. They're... They're real, aren't they?"
He nodded back. "Yeah, of course. You mustn't have read my letter again like a good girl after all. 'Cause I thought for a minute you knew I wasn't with Cruxis anymore—"
They were real.
Those wings were the bona fide product of a month or more of agony. Not being able to eat, sleep, feel... The more she pondered Zelos's lacking the capacity to feel, the more deeply it pained her. If anyone, he should be allowed to feel the wonders of the world for being so long deprived of them. And not being able to speak, but having no one to notice! She saw him as a child of perhaps nine undergoing such excruciation without a mother or father there to protect him. And no soul. For having to suffer, silently, he was a stronger warrior than any legend she knew. Why hadn't she seen it before?
She had to restrain herself so as to not break down and be left completely vulnerable to the magic swordsman, though she didn't think he'd take advantage of her pity since it was for him. But goddess, it proved a foil to see how collected he was after such a story. A tear escaped, unbidden, unwanted. Her face met her sleeve to clear it away; she thought perhaps she could let a sob or two out then, as her face was guarded. The onslaught of weeping was not what she had prepared.
"What's wrong now, h—Sheena?" Zelos asked, worriedly. He leapt beside her on the bench and gingerly put a limb around her shoulder for support.
"Look at me! Y-you're so st-rong and I-I'm so weak!" she cried. "J-just crying over... Oh Martel. I... I used you be-cause I was weak!" Her eyes pierced his, vitriolic with humiliation. "I used you because I couldn't g-go on, and on top of tha-t, I didn't have the d-damn decency to thank you! And after all that you went through, I—Oh goddess!"
Sheena wept into her hands as he rubbed her back politely. Then, unexpectedly, she burst into a fit of laughter. He'd wondered if she had gone mad with such hysterics. He waited until it subsided to patterned breathing before asking why. He knew the frailty of emotions in the third week.
"I just thought... All this time you've been running, but—you have wings!" she proclaimed, chuckling again. This did not seem in the slightest way humorous to him, though he appeased her by laughing warily himself. She now laughed into his collarbone; and though caught unaware by her mood swing, Zelos found her never lovelier. He decisively placed a kiss on her neck. Immediately she sat straight and shied away from his touch.
"Come on, hunny! No need to pretend anymore," he said, then adding in a whisper, "You've been running long enough. I think it's okay if you borrow my wings for one night."
"I-I'm not pretending!" Sheena argued, reddening severely.
"Think about it. Tomorrow the world could very well not exist. You lived for the moment then," he taunted.
She bit her lip. "And... Origin. I did waste all of my mana," she admitted slowly. Zelos smirked and gently brushed her bangs from her face. Incorrigible. "I'll..."
"It'll be our little secret. Well, another one. But nobody has to know," he placated. "'Cept this time it's gonna be on my terms."
Gulping and hardly daring, the summoner asked, "And what would those be?"
"Lose yourself; pretend the world isn't in this situation and we are free to live lives again. Pretend you're not pretending anymore just until the sun comes up."
Sheena glanced downward. Perhaps inside his heart was bursting as well as hers, and that's why he proposed it. "It's going to be hard to not love you in the morning," she muttered. "I-I don't love you now, though, if that's what you thought."
"Oh, come the hell off it." Roughly he grabbed her shoulders and pressed her closer, though waiting for her lips to meet his. Indeed she seized the opportunity and at last kissed him, fully, with force which would have mirrored his. And, at last, she believed she understood. She wouldn't mind if for just one night she let her restrictions loose. The surge of desire had returned, as it had once that night on her watch; save this new racking emotion that came with it. Unsure of why she decided to abandon tradition, she had to go with what her heart said. She wanted him for real this time.
Pulling back from his mouth she clambered to a kneel on the seat of the bench, which progressed to a straddle across the Chosen's lap. Resorting to his methods was probably her only way to forget limitations. "How's that?"
"A-ah, holy geez—" exclaimed Zelos, cut short by another demanding kiss. Meanwhile, Sheena felt that her leg was losing circulation, a costly malfunction, and she repositioned her weight; though to him, it seemed an unintentional torture device. Quickly realizing what became of her fortunate mistake, she began to gently down-heave against him.
He could ignore it no longer. He was extremely turned on by the fact that she initiated this soft grinding motion. Finally she was learning to take life by the handles. Or by his pants. He felt his arousal become tangible, taken from his intoxication with her. His face was then buried in her neck, where the scent of her was strongest. From before he knew where she would have liked to have been touched, thus lightly kissing from her jaw line to her supersternal notch. She in turn stroked his crimson locks, pulling individual strands tight between her fingers. It belonged to her then.
"I love your hair," she mumbled.
"Drapes match the carpets, dearest," he replied spryly. Her laughter sounded, vibrating upon the Chosen's lips as it rung through her throat. How beautiful the resonance.
Zelos's roaming hands continued their reputation and untied the ribbons constraining his summoner's waist. He needed to be rid of them this time. They were a beast to unravel, though; such knots aggravated his current position: having to concentrate on both them and the movement of this strange new woman upon him. In the long run, Zelos had at least endurance. He also was determined to win a silent bet that he could take her to the stars and back without allowing himself to be touched. Those spells of ruses of his groupes allocated practice. Shouldn't be too hard to make her forget. Just a little game.
... Which he happened to be losing. He'd loosed Sheena's robe, but at the expense of his own tunic and shirt. As she was supported by that damned brassiere, he was left with his torso an open plane, and now subject to the command of her delicate fingertips. Definitely losing, he decided, unraveling as her hands slid past his belt. He should've liked more skin against skin; alas, her probes shot out from beneath the fabric, and she sat up rigidly, frantically, searching, searching...
"What the—" Zelos complained. Oh no, if another of his fantasies was going to be ruined by those ancient traditions, it would be a full-on war.
"Shh, someone's coming," she said in a hush.
"That would be me, darling, if you don't hurry up with—"
"It's Lloyd!" she hissed. She swung herself off of him and snatched their stray garments. "Colette, too. Quickly!"
That whiny kid swordsman was so not going to spoil it for Zelos. The kids simply could not see him with her like this, and a solution had to be found haste-post-haste. He stood, grabbed the summoner's arm, and dashed in the opposite direction of the voices into a cluster of woods. Ah, the one upside of the Ymir forest. He guided her to park it in a less-threatening patch of grass.
"Wasn't kidding! Lucky I'm a ninja," she gasped, heart pumping adrenaline ever faster. Thank goodness nothing had been seen by Lloyd and Colette. Sheena promptly sat on the ground, waiting for her breath to find her again.
"Neither was I," Zelos said sideways. He fell to the earth beside her.
"You still...?" she questioned lamely. "I mean, after all that..." She blushed in spite of herself. She hadn't really meant to ask; the answer was clear from their surroundings.
"Hell yeah, I said I'm not lying anymore. No stupid wandering twerp is going to ruin it. And besides, this is better than a park bench, right?"
She smiled faintly as he rose to all fours over her lying body. Quickly she unclasped his belt when he allowed her; and in scarce remembrance how, his pants were lost by her hands. In the fray he had managed to grab hold of hers as well. Now all that remained was the shell over her chest, which Zelos daren't make a move for since he valued his life. However, by some bleeding heart, Sheena, as a welcoming gesture, undid the contraption's latch-like band. It was self-deprecating to have to parallel his awkward stark nudity, but she humored him. "To living for the moment."
Hurling it aside, she revealed perfectly-molded breasts, pink nipples raised in exposure. He for a moment lost his senses and lowered his head; though realizing what sacrilege it would be to touch them he drew back. He instead dampened her neck and shoulder with small biting pecks. Winning now, he supposed.
Well Sheena would not stand for exposing herself only to be denied, however sweetly. In retaliation she lightly ran her fingertips down his chest, abdomen, stopping abruptly below his belly button and taking them away. She made a mocking face. "Oh, sorry, missed," she clucked with a grin.
"That's two for you, hunny. My turn now. And I'm going to give you a reason for being a Banshee," he whispered against her ear.
An unexpected, thrashing wave of pleasure overwhelmed her.
"Ah!" she gasped. "Gah, Zelos! What—what is—?!" He had casually been running his fingers over her sensitive core, meaning to get back. A moan escaped her throat unintentionally as she tried to hold herself composedly. It perplexed her as to where exactly he was able to make all of her nerves clench; the source of her new guttural vocalizations was unknown. Zelos was quite enjoying the symphony of her voice, a decadent sound bringing pain to his anticipation, and so persisted he in brushing his fingertips across the nub. Morbidly afraid of a lonely orgasm the woman cried out to distract him. "What the hell is that?!" He laughed. Hadn't those crazy ninjas and their strange courting methods taught her about her own sex? ... Oh yes, crazy ninjas.
"That," he said, "that is where we're the same."
"Then what are you stalling for?" she asked hoarsely. "I want to be the same." Sheena forced his hand away and threw him onto his back. Pinned, he submitted. Her thighs were widely set apart, and delicately at first, she set herself upon him. Her face contorted in pain; she violently shoved her hips down to lessen it. Zelos bucked up to meet her, then allowed their gentle falling. She was in the spotlight now that he had temporarily quit the game and had set a shuddering rhythm between them. His hands grasped hold of her hips, bringing them closer, closer. Locked in awkward intimacy, she could but rock herself jaggedly against his moans, which seemed to roar from the very depths of his torso. This was what she knew to do: swift, tense sex which shifts from unspeakably rough to satisfying enough. Shivering in the throes of orgasm, she felt farther from him than before she began.
The same, no. Bodies themselves cleaved. There was no parallel now save for twixt frames. Upset, Sheena pulled herself from him.
Little did she see the gears turning in his mind as he sensed her turmoil. Zelos had a lovely, wicked, devious idea. He grabbed her around the middle and toppled her to the grass.
"Relax, sweetheart. Let it all out. Could be your last night alive," he warned. She, flushed, turned her head aside in humiliation. It was gently moved back to view him by a caressing hand. "Here." Sheena had no choice but to succumb to him. She had denied him her face the first time, and again would have. She prayed that she would let herself love him.
Her mouth was caught in a quick barrage from the Chosen's lips, luring her into security. At that point he took the satiny skin of her thigh under his will. He drew up her right leg over his shoulder and with indecent slothfulness broke into her again, so slowly, decidedly that she felt the scraping of every inch consuming her. Her breath now was staggered and choking with syrupy gasps, the metronome sensually slow. And then she felt his bones. These were the pelvic bones from his very skeletal structure which she had never noticed before protruding into her flesh and thereabout. Well, there went every sane notion she ever had, defenestrated. All there was was her and him and an intimation of, for once, living.
Indeterminably, he released into her, sending the ripple to the remotest stretch of her body. So weak was she now, and shaking, that it was tedious to unweave their entanglement.
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The light of the moon descended and swathed the two in a glistening pallor, waxing. Their nerves still trembled and their foreheads were damp though moments surged past them. Being knowledgeable of nothing more, the man held her in an intense grip as though she might fall off of the planet itself; and she, knowledgeable of nothing at all, let his arms be the vice. It would have been nearly impossible to discern the split where one ended and the other began save for structural differences only.
Sheena let the blood fill her face ravenously and freely as it never had before. This was certainly not like last time, but she had no need for hiding it on this night. Let whatever feelings from cleansed mana flow. Her neck relaxed and her head gave way to his chest; and it surprised her, almost, because of the fact that he even had a heart, and that it seemed to drum out the same rhythm as hers. Two hearts beating the very same. Different blood, but no matter how far it pumped away from the center it returned to the exact same place. Even their blood was running, perhaps in defiance of their recalcitrance. And they were the same.
These thoughts, these hints had all been pestering the summoner for some time, but the last was the most disturbing. She had to tell him some truth about how grateful she was. Though this seemed the undoable act.
"Zelos," she said finally. He snapped from his possessive state of mind and loosed her enough for her to look up at him. "I've decided that... no matter for how long you run, I'm going to be here when you want to come back." She locked onto his eyes, aquatic sapphire windows. How she hoped her cryptic words would convey her meaning. "A-and if I slow you down, I will run to the ends of whatever earth to catch up."
He gave a sigh, blinked, and craned his neck so to receive a blunt kiss from his lover. "I'll have to catch up to you," he replied. "Violent Demonic Banshees can't be kept in a cage for long."
"Oh, I can't believe you," she chuckled. He still teased her with that accursed nickname, and all because Mizuho tradition did not allow name exchanges among strangers, or even friends as they were then. However, it did permit blood relatives to know, as well as... spouses. Sheena got a horrible awful idea, a Zelos-ism almost. She would do away with that nickname forever by bending the rules. "Why don't you call me by my real name from now on?"
"Hn?" he asked, alarmed. "You really gonna tell me?"
"You must swear to never speak it in the presence of others."
"I, Handsome Warrior Zelos, Chosen of Tethe'alla, do hereby swear forthwith to my duty to uphold the secrecy of one Miss Fujibayashi's real name," he agreed, adding playful sarcasm to the embellishing words. "Good enough?"
She scooted closet to his ear. "Misao. Misao Umeno Fujibayashi," she whispered. She could feel his eyes light up, and the accompanying radiant smile.
"It's beautiful," he said. "Just... what does that all mean?"
"Misao is the Mizuho word for 'chastity.' Umeno, my middle name, I guess, means 'rose.' And of course, my adopted surname Fujibayashi, but I don't know what the hell it means," she explained.
"So what it really means is: one who is lovely yet doomed to be loveless forever, huh?" Zelos commented. "You can see how well that turned out. Man, it must suck to have to uphold virginity."
"No, no. You got it right the first time. Chastity means that a person doesn't fall in love because of losing their virginity, so I can sleep around if I want. But... I'm afraid I can't uphold that name anymore anyway," she admitted, blushing.
"Eh, nobody's who they are anymore," he said offhandedly. "I'm so far away from the original me that I couldn't even begin to be—me. You know?"
Sheena nodded. "I think I do, yeah... Especially a few minutes ago," she agreed, dazedly grinning.
"Heheh, you fuck like a tiger."
"Thanks," she replied flatly.
"Geez, take the compliment for all that it's worth. I'm serious here!"
"No really, thank you... for showing me that I'm capable. I think this is a turning point!"
"Uh uh. No turning points tonight. Wait until the hormones subside," Zelos teased. She sighed deeply.
"Okay, I'll get around to rebuilding Misao later. I'll let you find out who she is... if you never speak a word of any of this."
"Sounds good," he promised. He shifted for a moment, chilled, probably, from the summer night's breeze. "Maybe we ought to get back. They'll be missing us and getting ideas."
"Can't be good," added Sheena, shaking her head. "That bed is pretty comfy, just so you know..."
"No, actually, I don't care if they miss us; it's that the city of Heimdall doesn't deserve to see the Envoy from the Dark Abyss..." He smirked.
Sheena shut her eyes tightly and sat up, praying that he had not just said that. "Zelos, you sick pervert! You can't name it that!"
"Hah, oh, you have something better? Why not Hammer of Godly Thunder, heh heh!"
"I don't know what's wrong with Meltokio, but where I'm from those do not deserve names!" she said lightly, laughing.
"Oh, you know this one does..." He winked at her, handing over her clothes. "Using a one-liner from Efreet, 'I'll bestow upon you my raging inferno...' Or did you hear what Lloyd said during the Kendama competition?!"
"All right, enough innuendo," she ordered, smiling. "Let's go back."
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Tired dawn consented to arrive again, urging Zelos to wake. He opened his eyes to find a gigantic mound of blankets piled atop of him, remembering the scheme from the night before. It would look as though he was not there; instead, a discordant setup of sheets. Because he had wanted to be there for the first time as she woke up. He had but to try and escape the scorching covers to feel her body there, sleeping still. How angelic and calm her image seemed. It was a peaceful tranquility he had never been privy to in the sunlight. And the beauty...
The gentle rise and fall of her chest, her heart beating lowly; things to which he had never taken notice behind their endowment, and now they acted so close, pressed up against his skin. He saw also a thin glimmer of light playing through the forest of black hair, and her lips curled ever-so slightly at perhaps a pleasant dream. 'Finally,' he thought, 'you're dreaming good dreams.' Sheena took a deep breath which caused her to shift.
No, please don't move. Please don't ever move.
This precious being clinging to him, this frail thing; he wanted to see her like this forever, for the entire day, for all of the days to come. He didn't really give a damn about the goings-on in the world, or her past, or his. Just to see the loveliness in her in the morning, to see how much good came of her from so much ill... he was redeemed. He wanted to stay by her. He would not forsake her, or leaver in an abbey, or betray her. Ever or again. Never and forever. Because he loved her, really, no matter what shroud he could pull over it.
He ventured to reach out and touch her face if for naught but to make sure she was real. More a gesture of astonishment than affection, though predicaments would prove otherwise. He let his fingers trace her cheek, her nose, and until her lip; she flinched in return and squeezed her eyelids. It was a damned shame to disturb the quintessence of elegance so early if ever. You bastard idiot Chosen.
Sheena groaned, waving her hand to swat his. She finally blinked her eyes open, revealing the lovely brown irises he had so coveted. It was official. He couldn't help it. He was incurably intoxicated. 'But I swear this is the last promise I'll ever break.'
"Misao," he addressed.
"Oh, god," she muttered, wincing. "Oh Martel, what time is it? Can I—can you even be here?"
Zelos nodded. "But I don't know what time it is. Only I haven't heard any noise, so everyone must be sleeping."
"M'kay, then. Good morning, Zelos," she said nonchalantly as if over breakfast.
"Good morning, hu—h... ho-ney. Whoa, that was different," he stammered. She laughed.
"Well, you won't have to say it ever again. Remember the—deal? We have to pretend this never happened, and you just want me for my body, and you don't know that we're so alike."
Zelos pouted. "Can't we save that until later when we have to do our job?" he asked juvenilely.
"What's with the epiphany? You were the one who set the rules, anyway," Sheena said. He closed his eyes.
"You must not see you when you sleep."
Sheena was rather taken aback by his remark. Nobody had cared to watch over her while she rested. It was the sweet thing you read in a romance novel smuggled under your bed, or some overdone pickup line, but here... To think that he was watching her as she had watched him without tainted thoughts... She smiled and nestled her head into his chest.
"You idiot Chosen," she whispered softly.
"Right..." He sighed, defeated.
"Though, I—"
"Hn?"
Sheena blushed profusely. This was no time for sappy love confessions. Keep it together. "Nothing. Honestly, I can't spend too much time trying to sort all of this out because I'll have lost the reason why I'm here in the first place."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Zelos agreed. "I'm gonna go back to my own side now. See you in a few—oh, I don't know. When they wake up." A last time he pressed his warm lips to hers so that they hardly touched. The sweetness of his gesture was what Sheena remembered as her first true kiss.
He clambered over to the left corner of the bed and finally allowed himself to be viewed over the blankets. Wait—there was a strange silence from the four beds close by. He sat up and scanned the room to find the entire group gone.
"Oh shit. We overslept!" he exclaimed, jumping from the many sheets.
"What?" Sheena yelped. She, too, left the large bed and donned herself in the usual outfit, hands flying across the ribbon, over, under, through. "What if they saw us?! What the hell! You stupid—I can't believe you overslept! You said your brain worked like an alarm clock!" she screeched.
"Banshee's back," he muttered, throwing on his boots.
"Damn you! It'll be your fault! Which reminds me: none of my real name outside of now!" Sheena dashed to the door, blindly, nearly running straight into the elf standing there.
"Hold on there, Ms. Ninja," the small elven-woman said. "You're Fujibayashi and the Chosen, correct?"
Out of breath again, she replied, "Uh-huh. Sorry, but I have to leave!"
"I instructed for you to please wait," repeated the elf, blocking the door with her arm. Sheena had no choice but to stand back.
"Don't tell me they left already."
"No, miss. Your friends are having breakfast. I've been told by a silver-haired half-elf to wake them without drawing attention to you and to provide a breakfast quickly so they may not ask questions. It has been done, miss," she reported. Sheena was left speechless. She turned to Zelos for a reply, but he simply shrugged.
"So—... nobody has seen the Chosen and me?"
"Not since before last night. Although, I suggest that you not wake the entire village next time. We can provide rooms." The summoner's face flushed deeply in regards to her volume the previous night. With notions cast aside so, too, had been the social limits she normally upheld. But this wasn't Mizuho, and they already ignored humans for being stupid. "Don't fret, miss. Only we elves who listen to the folds of the wind sing to the moon overheard... or we who simply worry about our customers."
"What, you're so attached to a rowdy group like us?" Zelos questioned, hands on hips. His voice deflected off of Sheena's ears as another possibility formulated in her mind. What if Colette overheard them with her angel senses? What if, oh Martel, what if Raine overheard? What if Genis was listening? Surely they'd be dead, or near it. Surely.
"I'm the manager here, and if you don't mind my saying, I heard your friends discussing their quest and had to help out. I don't discriminate against travelers, since hardly any come anymore and those who do stay with friends or family. I fed and provided for the half-elves," the elf woman said with a voice as soundless but orchestral as a sunrise.
"I didn't catch your name," Zelos commented suavely.
"Pegn," replied she.
"Well hello, my wise and wonderful elf muffin. I'm Zel—oh. You already know me, of course..."
"Zelos! We have to get going before they really suspect something," interjected Sheena.
"Not to worry. Whatever will be, will be, honey," he assured her.
"Thank you so much for—everything, Pegn," she said gratefully, scurrying past the door.
"A mere courtesy," the elf replied. She stood in the corner of the room betwixt a table and bookshelf, watching Zelos tag along behind his forbidden lover, though slowly. Her eyes were eerie and glass-like, somewhat of a windowpane. An omniscient overseer she was in vocation and description.
"I've gotta do what she says," he said quickly underneath the spell of her gaze.
"Wait a split moment more. There's a big breakfast, so they won't think as quickly, but they will still notice your untimely arrivals." He waited, impatiently, caught by those eyes. Suddenly their hardness broke and a kind allowance showed. This elf was nothing to fear, though the mirrors of her face were threatening still. "Go now," she urged.
"Uh-huh," he said uncertainly, and jogged down the porch stairs.
"How—endearing, those two..."
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"Sheena! I thought you died!" Genis shouted at her disheveled appearance.
"You really had us worried," Colette frowned.
Genially Sheena flashed a smile and grabbed the plate awaiting her. "I'm sorry, guys. I was just thinking about some things that made me worry, and... I had a breakthrough and I'm not worrying anymore, I guess," she blurted through a mouthful of toasted bread. Never before had the toast tasted decent, much less as wonderful as that very piece had.
"I'm glad," Raine said, smiling solemnly. She rose from beneath the shade of the large tree overlooking the river, "though you've quite spent the patience and hospitality of others."
Hostilely, Sheena stared back. Apparently Raine had known; she must have been the silver-haired half-elf of which Pegn spoke. "Can I discuss this with you privately?" she asked. Oh, how she hated to leave the toast and fruit and milk, but a consenting movement was made by the Professor to follow. Sheena stood from the patterned picnic blanket which lay spread by the river with a distaste of being forced into a lecture.
Instant pain.
Shoots of it came from deep within the void between her legs. It was an inexplicable onset of cramps, or what seemed to be cramps; it felt to her the gnawing remains of a taunting reminder. He had left and indelible scar in her from the incident. It then occurred to her that perhaps it was a delayed reaction to a breached hymen, for in prior instances it must have stretched. And yes, there had been blood visible now, but as she dressed she must have missed it absentmindedly thinking it was menstrual blood. The only relief in any of it was that she hadn't ended up pregnant from her careless actions. But he still made her bleed and break. He made her bleed and break and tore her in half and tortured her, but what had she done to oppose it. Nothing. Nothing could be done because she willed herself to be with him.
Wincing and waddling somewhat, the summoner managed to regain proper stance as she followed Raine aside.
"I guess you heard, too. Join the club," remarked the ninja. Raine lowered her head.
"Faintly, like a dream, but that isn't the point."
"Look, are you jealous or something? Just because I finally was able to experience—real love! Or ashamed, is that it? Because I'm pretty sure this has nothing to do with you."
"Nothing to do, huh?" the older woman asked. She elevated her voice enough to convey her point. "Aside from the shame factor, I'd say your act was probably the riskiest stunt a person in your position could pull! Oh, but don't listen to anyone else's needs." Sheena moved to protest. "No. I don't want to hear it. You don't have to explain to your twelve-year-old brother what's going on in lies because you're sleeping outside because you're a half-elf! You aren't even decent enough to wait another day, or to move to some other locale out of earshot of an entire village. Do you realize that you are, in fact, falling in love?"
Sheena lost words at that moment, heart pounding ferociously. She swooned and leaned against the wooden support beams of the nearby house.
"You don't. But I guess you don't see what's wrong with that either! If you fall in love, that's a distraction. If you're distracted today, Lloyd loses confidence and fails to defeat Kratos. Then you will not be able to make a pact, and Derris-Kharlan will not come. There will be no mana. There will be no life. There will be no anything because of a silly idea in your head that men are worth chasing!"
"Martel, Raine!" groaned Sheena. "I am a grown woman! This little affair was for one night only and we both agreed; and I know it sounds crazy but I forgot about the world, and the—my goddess I am not a child!"
"Then stop acting like one. You may not be one in body, but your willful actions will cost you. You may not realize it because you're so clouded by this—this whimsical temptation to leave everything else and run off with that man. But there's one mistake I don't want you to make, because instead of deserting a small boy and a schoolroom of duties, you're deserting the lives of everyone. Everyone, Sheena. Understand?" fumed Raine. Sheena could see the impending tears in her eyes, and wondered how it was that Raine had come to know the ways of men in the first place. Still, her statements held a terrible piercing truth. Sheena was the only person who could call forth the proper Spirit to establish the Eternal Sword. If her task was abdicated by feelings of attachment for Zelos, it would be tallied as another failed attempt on her record. Except no living person would be there to cast it.
Flustered, she wished to redeem herself by some aspersion, but realized there was no use for it. The pain in Raine's expression, the pain in her body was enough to rationalize her. "I... do," she answered sincerely. "I suppose those feeling I thought I had were... A drawback to ancient Mizuho tradition... I hate that bastard." She stood defiantly, composed now.
But it was a lie. She still had those feelings. Not to mention the feelings of cramps. She couldn't get the memory of his touch out of her head. She couldn't forget the way he was so kind to her, and providing, and... It was supposed to be for one night. It was supposed to go away. She wasn't supposed to love him now. God, she was not Misao or Sheena, and just as he'd said, nobody is who they are anymore. She wanted... everything.
Defeated, she watched the Professor return to the riverside alone, and feared the moment when Zelos would arrive.
'God, my cunt...'
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And now for something completely different!
--Trickssi
PS—R&R, PLEASE! Make me feel loved! This was my favorite chapter to write! (Still shooting for 100)