Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tales of Symphonia.
Warning: M
Pairings: Sheelos, mainly.
Dedication: To us. To the end.
Chapter Fourteen: His Harvest Moon
'I'd do things the same way, too.'
She wasn't exactly sure of what happened after Lloyd entreated the Eternal Sword to make the world as it originally was, but then again, what had she been sure of? The Summon Spirits had appeared, yes, there was no link, so let's use the Giant Tree to both revitalize mana and be the link. All right. Oh yeah, and where did Lloyd get those wings?
He was flying, against the Eternal Sword's advice, toward the atmosphere's break. There he would ask the last wish of the sword, she knew. And yet Colette flew up to meet him. Everyone else watched the sky, and hoped, and prayed.
They were still high up in the indiscernible atmosphere. Waiting, waiting… Suddenly those who had not been religious were very strongly moved to utter their apologies.
Zelos could not stand for standing and waiting. "What's taking them so long? I'm going to get a better look."
"Be careful," Regal warned listlessly.
Zelos's foot had almost left the ground when Sheena called, "Wait, Zelos! You can't risk going up there when you don't know what's going to happen!"
"What else can I do?" he asked frankly. "If those two are up there risking their lives there's no reason why I can't. Unless… Hey, do you want to come see?" He silently pleaded through the urgency of his eyes. "You might regret it later. Live for the moment, right?"
She hesitantly nodded and accepted his outstretched hand. His wings appeared, strong and full this time. By the waist, she was pulled up into the sky.
Sheena remembered the wind in her face and hair and how he held her so she could have the feeling of flying she had never known before. As Colette and Lloyd came into view with the glistening Great Seed in tow, Zelos hovered and inspected his surroundings. He bade Sheena open her eyes, which had against her conscious closed in fear of the height.
"Look at that," he said. Near Lloyd and Colette the green Great Seed descended upon the vast landscape and planted itself within the remains of the Tower of Salvation. The younger pair zoomed down to meet the Seed, but Zelos still hung in the air with Sheena supported by his arms alone.
"Don't you think we should follow it to see what happens?" Sheena asked him. He smirked at her; suddenly he let her fall a short distance before swooping in to catch her. "Ahh—hey! What was that for! I swear if I had wings…"
"'S the last time you'll ever need to have that falling feeling!"
With that he dove down in time to see the Great Seed sprout into a magnificent Tree. They were settled in the atmosphere just above the group.
"Looks like Martel's speaking to them… She's alive after all," Sheena said.
"You think it'll still be called the Giant Kharlan Tree? In honor of her life…"
"Nah… He's got to give it an appropriate name now, I bet."
"Well what could he possibly name it?"
"Sure as hell won't be Envoy from the Dark—"
"All right, I get the point!" Zelos laughed.
"… Well, do you want to hear the name or not? Let's go, you ass."
Zelos shook his head. As the two finally landed, they heard Lloyd's proclamation: "I'm gonna name it… Yggdrasill! He always wanted a world that stood for peace. Now he can link two of them together and have his sister watch over him forever. Even though this isn't it exactly, we'd like to thank you, Mithos, for all you've done for us."
Sheena smiled. Lloyd was a good person. Zelos… helped her fly.
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"Whaaattt did you mean when you said that, Lloyd?" inquired a rather tipsy Professor. "What Mithos has done… What's he DONE?"
"He—hic—got us here, di'n't 'e? I mean, I know all of thems and youse… I wan'ned 'a thank 'im!" justified Lloyd. He, too, had had little led for alcohol, and being that it was his first encounter with it, he found himself slurring and using grandiose gestures. At least it provided some entertainment for the others.
"Yeah, 'n, he was a great guy," Genis added sluggishly.
"What've you had to drink?" Raine scolded.
"Just one—Raaaaiiine, why does 't matter? We saved th' worlds and junk, and Mithos is dead… 'n all…" Genis looked distant before clenching his eyes shut and squishing his face into a portrait of despair. Oh, boy, he was a crier.
"Genis, I advise that you try to sleep until the alcohol has diluted in your system," Presea said. She escorted him, the sobbing boy, to his sleeping mat and sat with him until he quieted.
"That kid brother of mine," began Raine, "has aaaalways been a problem. I mean, like, always. 'N you know what he told me? He said he had these strange—feelings—for Mithos! Hahah, isn't that the damned weirdest thing!" she chuckled.
"Actually," said Zelos from the opposite side of the bonfire, "it's not uncommon. I mean at one time Mithos had me pretty confused about myself. He's a queer, queer guy. I'd say he's bisexual, but lately… Genis is the perfect target, being girly-looking and all. Mithos is gay, gay, gay… Was. He was."
"I sooooo called it," Regal interrupted. He was lying on his side, half-asleep, attempting to keep his dignity intact, failing miserably.
"Gay as Yuan and Botta…"
"He's not that flamboyant," Sheena muttered.
"… with whips and chains…"
"What does 'flamboyant' mean?" questioned Colette.
"…and feather boas…"
"I totally called it!" Regal said before letting his head fall to the ground. This only prompted him to wake up further in a jolt.
"…when I walked in on them once," Zelos continued.
"Are you quite finished?" Raine asked.
Zelos stared at her for a second and said, "Yes."
"… That didn't really happen, did it?"
"…No," Zelos answered, "but I'm sure it must have happened to some other poor sap who happened to be in the Base that particular… week."
"Genis isn't gay, and neither were Yuan and Botta," Presea argued. She was among the two sane ones in the group at the moment.
"I'm not saying anything," resolved Zelos. He put his arms up in defeat and stood up. "'Cause you never know."
Nobody discouraged the point.
"You guys, you really made a difference in my life," Lloyd said abruptly. Colette, at his side, smiled and put her head on his shoulder supportively.
"I'm glad to have known you. All of you," she said.
Sheena flinched. "Don't act like this is goodbye already! That's in the morning," she yelled. Perhaps she didn't want the moment to end; with close to everyone clouded by Potions, there was a dreamy feeling that made her think she would wake up in her old hard bed with nothing new. It would be just as she left it, maybe. She would wake up and this adventure would have been of her mind's working unless everyone pretended it wasn't. It wasn't.
"I know, but Lloyd and I have to get back to Iselia before people start worrying… We can't waste time with farewell."
"And Genis and I need to check on the condition of Exire. I' got hit real bad by a piiiece of the Tower," Raine mumbled.
"Mmph, Lezareno…"
"I don't need to be anywhere," Zelos added expectantly. The group calmed almost instantly, Sheena noticed. Again there was some dissension as to whether Zelos was to be trusted or not.
"… Still," Colette continued. "I just wanted to say thanks. And I guess this is good night?" She looked at Regal, who was now accumulating a small puddle of saliva at the corner of his mouth. Would that there were something to capture the comely president drooling on himself!
"… Charming," Sheena said to herself.
"Yeeeah, I'm goin-g-ta sleep, too," Lloyd said. He patted Colette on the head lightly. "Nighty-night."
"Goodnight everyone," Colette said.
"'Night."
"Sleep well."
"An' don't let the bedbugs bite!"
"Goodnight, you two."
Colette helped Lloyd clamber into his bedroll, and settled herself inside her own only fractions of inches from him. From the opposite side of the fire Sheena could sense their contentedness and peace. The glow of the embers illuminated Colette's angelic face. Her first easy sleep, wasn't it, now that it was all over.
Soon, Raine had passed out near her already slumbering brother, no doubt from the drink. Presea had simply shut herself off of awareness and slept curled like an infant in the comfort of the fire's heat. Again it was the resilient youthful Zelos and Sheena left awake, though barely. Zelos was zoning and Sheena had not tried to keep scintillating conversation.
Zelos retired to his mat at last, leaving Sheena an unofficial watchman. He faced the black expanse of grass instead of the fire; he preferred not to have light in sleep. Sheena stood from her recumbent position and stretched, seeing him lying there in peace. At least it was not pieces. The silence and repose about him startled her. She supposed it was his first decent sleep for a while as well… now, shouldn't she deserve one?
'I guess it's all right if I go to sleep,' she mused. 'We don't really need a watchman now that everything's been put at bay… It'll be weird. No monsters. They'll be put at bay, I guess, for a while.' She paused in thought before glancing over at Zelos again. 'Lucky me. Here again with Zelos as the only near-to-waking person…' She considered rousing him, but in her view the silvery head of a half-elven boy tossed uncomfortably. Perhaps it was better to wake him from whatever ill dream he was having instead of bothering Zelos again.
"Bad dream?" she thought aloud to Genis. The boy had drifted into a waking sleep, a drowsy state of consciousness. She softly approached him and knelt on the ground beside his mat.
"Hey Genis? I guess we never really got the chance to really chat about what's going on with you and your friend. You probably knew, didn't you, he was going to… Well anyway, I think that was really brave of you. You weren't afraid, I never saw you afraid. And no matter what he was to you, I noticed that when you care about someone you… worry about their well-being and past and their jeopardy of life or death in certain situations. So I forgive you for any pain you might have caused. You're the strongest kid I know that way. And I'm sure he would have wanted to love you back. Never forget that bond you had, okay? It's very special," Sheena whispered to him. He stirred, but slept more soundly, it seemed. "… Goodnight, then, Genis."
She stood and spied Presea nearby. Presea hardly slept on the journey, and usually was a very skittish waker. It had been a wonder she didn't wake at the pep talk to Genis. Sheena assumed that this was a good sign, but decided to keep her comments internal in hopes of keeping Presea slumbering.
'Such a shame, to have a small child abused with Cruxis dirty-work. I can't believe they stole sixteen years from you. It's kind of creepy… I guess I would have only been three when that happened. And Zelos—…six… There must have been something wrong with Cruxis at that time. I mean, stealing your soul, his mother, and my parents? I never found out why my parents died, or if they did, but I'm almost certain now that Cruxis had something to do with it. I see the pattern. You think… You think maybe our pasts were linked? Like, maybe the people who hurt you… hurt me, too. Ah, I dunno. Sounds silly, but I've always felt we had a connection. Similar victims, y'know?
'If you get your years back… Well, if you don't, I'd be happy to get the Academy working on that. Or maybe it's better if you just keep living now with the knowledge you have, 'cause you'll live longer and you'll be Genis's age. Anyway, I'm glad… I'm so glad to have met you, Presea. You'll grow up to be a wonderfully beautiful person.
"Thanks," she finished aloud.
And then Raine began to snore. Oh, that she hadn't been drunk. Sheena remembered one time in Altamira when Raine snuck out in the evening to "see a play" and had come back to the room all red-nosed and huffy. She'd snored that night, too. A drunk snorer; who knew?
"Raine, could you try to can it?" she laughed to herself. Raine grumbled in return and turned onto her stomach. She was sleeping on her front as if to guard it.
Many a time Raine had tried in likeness to guard Sheena from the elements. She had forced the apology to try to set things right, and when Sheena went too far, had tried to stop a disaster from befalling the worlds.
When Sheena went too far—?
Looking back, yes, it had been worth it to keep her relationship with Zelos distant, but her mind was still clouded. Now that the journey was completed…
"Zelos; hey, Zelos!" she whispered, striding to his side again. He blinked; ah, no, he hadn't been sleeping at all.
"See it's finally my turn for a chat, eh?" he said.
"Oh, you. You know, I was going to say something nice, too."
Zelos sat up. "You can still say it. All I meant was I was waiting for you to get that fine little rump of yours over here so we could talk. Both of us. I'm the only one awake," he told her.
"Uh-huh," she replied with a skewed grin. "Talk…"
"Aw, come on. Whaddaya say to a walk, Shee—Misao?"
"Why," she began, not quite remembering why she had wanted to talk to him in the first place, "I would very much appreciate that over anything else you can come up with."
Escorting her by the arm, Zelos walked a distance to a small hill upon which he laid down and stared up at the moon. Sheena wasn't threatened by him at all in this light anymore. It was strange; at the start of her journey, she would not have even wanted to be in the same room as the Ex-Chosen. Now she could follow him without worry of being violated or misused. Mizuho should really be more lax on its policies with strangers. After all, it was their dumb tradition that led her to eventually trusting him, wasn't it? It was their dumb trick that had made her violate and misuse him.
"What'd you want to say?" Zelos questioned abruptly out of the silence.
"What? Oh. Um… Dammit, Zelos… I still can't remember. You're making me forget," she lied. The answer burned in her mind. She wanted to tell him she was sorry. She wanted to tell him that they should continue this fling, how she wanted to take him to Mizuho to stay a while after the journey, how maybe… maybe he would see…
"Did I? It must have been my grandiose conversation skills." No, it was the change I've seen in you. "Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you something."
"Go ahead." Sitting, she pulled her legs close to her and looked down to him.
"Well, I wanted to know… When Seles said something about your mission being a suicide mission… Is that…?"
Solemnly she nodded, but not without shamed streaks of scarlet crossing her cheeks. "I… I'm sorry you had to hear that. As much as I would try to deny it, I only took the King's orders because I thought maybe… You know, if I did it, then Tethe'alla would finally forgive me for killing my kin, and if I didn't, well, I'd just disappear and have my past erased anyway…"
Zelos stared at her, more studying than pitying. "I… guessed. Well, you know that'd have done you no good, right?"
"Yeah! Yeah, I know now," she answered. Then she thought about it. Without taking the mission, she never would have ended up here in the first place. "Wait, no. Zelos, if I never took that job I never would have met Colette, and probably would have wallowed for unspeakable amounts of time, and who knows? Maybe the worlds would never recover, and everyone would have to keep suffering."
"Point taken. I'd have to live the rest of my life destitute if Colette kept going, or succeeded."
"Colette would have died."
"You never would have even met her."
"You're right," Sheena sighed.
"And nobody else knows how to summon anymore. Who would've broken the seals?"
"Yes… Hang on, Zelos. Yeah, I can summon, but it caused me to have second thoughts about myself. And then I used you because of my summoning on top of that! That feels… really horrible."
Her words surprised her as she spoke them. "I never said that to anyone before," she admitted.
Zelos looked up at her. "Ah—uh… Naw, you don't have to feel that way; hunny, it's just a special service for my best gal!" he said shakily. There was a disappointed reddening in his face. She hadn't intended for the conversation to go this way. Was he trying to get something out of her? Now she truly had forgotten what to say to him.
"No, Zelos, I mean it… What was I thinking…? I guess I didn't think you'd have cared, that it wouldn't have mattered to you if… I… I didn't take account of your life. But now I'm sure of it; I know you're more than a body. You're a person, even if you were just a lecherous Chosen before. I… I value your life."
Zelos shifted and avoided her comforting glance. "I… Sheena—Misao, there's something I just gotta say," he pleaded.
"Ah, go ahead. You can tell me anything. You haven't let me stop you before!" She breathed a sigh of relief at her own contented jocularity.
"… Well… It was so different. It wasn't like you were stealing my mana or whatnot. It was just nice for once—…
"I told you what happened with my mom, didn't I. Well—after that, that's when Cruxis stepped in, you know. 'Bout the time Mithos killed my father was when I developed this attitude of mine. It was because my father was the last living part of me, and now I was all that mattered. Yes, me, me me. But it didn't feel right. Like somehow Cruxis stole everything I knew. And that's why I tried to sleep with that girl—to fill that chasm." He paused. "Heh, that's perverted."
"Some things never change," Sheena said.
"Hey. The point is, she was so cold to me, and since then I never felt like a person when I was with those other girls. I didn't let them touch me because I didn't want to feel so full of myself again. But I let you. I don't know… why, exactly."
"—And then I abused you again! Listen, I'm sorry—"
"No, it made me realize—"
"I just…"
"Look, I wanted to ask you… something else," Zelos sighed in defeat of articulation. He sat up and knelt in a crouched position. By some impulse Sheena stood to better see him. This did not seem like a sitting matter, none of it.
'Don't be silly, Sheena. You've got your hopes up again. Hell, you barely apologized and you're expecting him to ask you to go with him on his trip back home!' Sheena blushed in Technicolor. To think that she would think that he would think about that question.
"Y-yes…?" she asked with a rickety tone. Her heart suddenly skipped a few beats at a time.
"Sheena, would you want to… Oh, just…"
First glance. Bitter enmity. Acute tension. You pervert. You've seen me. Exposed. Blank. Apology. Denied. Temples. Responsibility. Stress. Favor. Abuse. Empty. Helped. Warmth. Betrayal. You've betrayed me. Traitor! … Rescue. Savior. Wings. Redemption. Unfettered. Affection. Loose emotions. Getting very strong. How many days ago? Why do I like you? Why are you making me feel…?
She did.
She truly did. She wanted to tell him now. And she wanted him to reciprocate. And she wanted so badly for him to be asking it, please, please, please…!
"Ah, just… will you sit down?" Like lightning she fell to sit. Impatience.
"What were you going to say?" she prompted.
"… Ah, um… I… never mind. I… forgot."
Silence.
"Oh. Y… yeah, sure."
Zelos ran his hand through his hair and stood up suddenly, beckoning Sheena follow. "I… thanks," he said. "For… being here. For risking your life and trusting a traitor, I guess."
"Yeah. Some traitors have a reason."
"And for apologizing, but it doesn't matter if you wouldn't have."
"Don't worry about it. I was… wrong to assume things."
"If you hadn't assumed, I couldn't say you mean… so much to me."
Sheena leaned her head on his shoulder, his arm now cradling her waist. They looked at the moon. They looked intense. "I'm glad I did. No matter what I face now, I've got that off my chest," she told him. She didn't tell him that since the weight was lifted off of her chest there was a gap there.
"…So I can, like, hang out at Mizuho if the Pope's remnants are on my tail?" he asked with a smirk.
"Zelos—!" Sheena shouted. "I can't believe…"
"Nah, I couldn't put your village in danger," he quickly corrected. "But that was my question."
"… Well, when we change locations, I'll let you know."
"Good. Don't get too far out of touch."
"Yup. I won't."
Instantaneously they strayed from each other's reach. It was probably the last time they would be alone for a long time.
"You do know when I get back I'm going to become the Chief, right? As long as I defeat Kuchinawa."
"Eh, you can whoop his ass any day," Zelos joked. "But yeah… I guessed. And I'm going to tie some
loose ends left over from my short-lived reign."
Zelos glanced back at the distant pulse of the fire. All of the rest of the party slept soundly still.
"Hey," he began. "They're still catching winks, and it's prolly the last time we'll be alooone…"
Sheena grinned bittersweetly. "I get it. But somehow I don't think it'd be right."
"… I suppose. I know. But I'm gonna miss my lovely, sweet, voluptuous honey on those lonely nights after the exquisite banquets and noble hobnobbing," Zelos remarked.
"Thanks, I guess?" He grabbed her hand and enlaced their fingers. Sheena sadly stared at him and mumbled, "I'm going to be gone when you wake up."
"I know that, too."
"Zelos, I…"
For a time she just absorbed his eyes, his face: things she'd likely not see again for ages. His passion-hair, sunset-wings. His constant smirk, lightened brow. The way he wouldn't give up. The way he was secretly sweet on her. The little excited brushes of limbs. The promise of his being nearby in the morning. "I meant to say… I…"
She kissed him, or was kissed by him; she didn't know. She let her lips linger a moment before he definitely pulled back. As their noses became the last remnant of the kiss, she moved her arms into another embrace. And he held her for some time.
"Yeah, me too."
Sheena released him at last and sadly turned to go, unable to bear his visage any longer for embarrassment of what could have been. "I'm gonna get some rest."
"… 'Night, Misao-hime."
"'Night, Kanaye."
His grin shone through to her even when she was turned away from him. When she let herself succumb to sleep for the last time in that accursed mattress, he was still standing on that far hill, looking up to the waning moon, ablaze.
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Thank you. I am so glad to finally finish my child of one year and three months. I wish I could have had the time to finish it earlier, but I don't think it would have turned out this well if I had. Stay tuned for the epilogue.
--Trickssi