as told by:Cade
20 October
A year.
Maybe a little more.
Maybe a little less.
Everything's different.
Everything's changed.
I've changed.
Maybe a little more than I should have. But it doesn't really matter, it happened. Although, sometimes it scares me how comfortable with where I am at...who I am now.
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I stand back, taking a few moments to just watch the situation around me.
This is one of the few good kind of good-byes I'll ever get to see. Not that I really want Scott to leave, but it'll be nice having my own little loft again.
Scott gave up a nice job to quiet the guilt he felt for "not being there for Roger" when he moved here in February ...(I will never understand men)...but, after some convincing from Roger ( a.k.a one very large fight and a bet) he finally accepted an offer for his dream job in Washington state.
So, here we are at the airport with Scott and Roger's mother and brothers waiting for his flight to be called. Our group is short two, well, three members, Mark and Ella's plane has been delayed.
Ms. Davis is fussying that he's going too far away. Ian, Jamie and Benny are lost in a conversation about the latest football scores.
Kenna and Noah are plotting something in front of me. Joanne is multi-tasking saying good-bye to Scott, while trying to stop Aurora from hitting Roman, and trying to locate something in the bottom of the twins' bag.
Mo is fighting a losing battle against Roman who has turned his frustration towards his mothers hair.
Roger pulls Scott to the side and they exhange some sort of brotherly male bonding ritual before Scott's flight is announced.
It's funny how much has changed and yet hasn't.
A year ago: I had lost a family, and I was saying good bye to some one.
Now: I had found a family,and I am saying good bye to some one.
Funny, huh?
After Scott disappears out of sight Ian guides Ms. Davis out, and after about an hour the only ones left waiting for Mark and Ella was me, Kenna, and Jaime.
I look over to him, "You don't have to wait."
He shrugged, "Nothing better to do. Plus, I haven't seen Mark in years."
Kenna climbed onto my lap, "How much longer?"
"It's only been five minutes since the last time you asked." Jaime laughed.
She imitated him and laughed too.
A few minutes go by.
"Cade?"
"Um-hmm."
"If Mark is now my daddy, are you my sister now?"
"Sure." I respond not feeling like explaining to a five year old the details of how some things worked.
But I guess in some weird way I am. I slowly lose myself in thought.
Hmmm...In the beginning...hah...naw...
I had been raised by parentls who believed that somethings that just weren't talked about. Now, I knew that they loved me, and they knew I was happy, it just wasn't everyday conversation.
My grandfather was looser, slightly more free with his emotions. It took my grandmother dying when I was two for him to see, and it took the only parents and brother I had ever known to die for me to see.
So, when I ran into Benny, who had once worked with my father, at my parents funeral...I saw it as my way out, my chance to find me again.
Moving here, to the loft, somewhere so different from what I was used to felt forgein, and strange, and right.
Things went well for the first couple of months...ah, hell who am I kidding?
I had been ignoring my pain from losing my parents.
Then Mark started acting wierd, and finding him and Mo really confused the hell outta me; it brought they pain I had been pushing aside to the forefront. Mark and Maureen were my parents, too, but they weren't. The had just been two people who I had vaguely been aware of then they were suddenly tow people I could see, that I knew, and found myself caring about...
"They're here! They're here!" Kenna starts bouncing, dragging me out of my thoughts.
I get up and she runs off to Mark, who swings her up into the air.
He is a good dad.
(three days later)
My breakfast is interuppted by a knock at the door.
"Come on in"
Mark's head appears, "Hey."
"Hey. What's goin on?"
He shrugs. "I just...well, um..."
I laugh, "Mark. Talk."
"yes, Roger," He teases and I stick my tongue out at him, before he continues.
"I was wondering if you wanted to come with Ella and I to find out what the baby is."
That took me off guard, "I don't know Mark, isn't that something that between..."
"We really would like you to be there...well, since your kind of...sort of..." He drops.
I look at him and he seems hopeful.
Why?
Does he think he needs to try and make up for something?
Does he need some kind of reassurance?
Maybe...no...screw the maybe...
"Well, okay, if you insist..." I tease
Author's Notes:
Hey! So, I know that I've been trying to keep the chapters from the POV of the main RENT cast but I felt that it was Cade's turn...and because Cade is having her say...Ella will have hers too.
I know this is kind of an odd chapter but, Cade has a lot on her mind
I have a big favor to ask all you guys...I'm starting to outline the rest of the chapters to this story (I know its sad, but it had to come eventually) but we do still have a bit (and I have other stories that have been pushed to the back burner because of this one)...I was just wanting to know if you guys had any questions/ ideas that you were wondering about...any loose ends that you see that I should tie up...all you guys...even you readers who don't review (I know you're out there) I would really like to know so that when this story ends all ends are tied...any question of background/backstory let me know...Thanks...You guys all rock, but you knew that already didn't you?
Oh. Now the actual updates to this and all my stories will be a bit slower...due to a new show having started up about a month ago...kind of weird this is the second show I've done during the process of this fic...but know that I'm still writing...in between cranky actors...bossy director...and torn costumes and a breaking down turntable...or half of one...
Thanks and I know there's something else I'm forgetting.
Review Responses
Lils: Naw, not annoying at all...as I've said it his purpose and he can't lose that quite yet. Glad you like that! Thanks so much as always.
RENThead6688: Gee, thanks.
BwayDiva: It's kind of fun watchin' Mark squirm! Thanks! Aye, how does one go about completely describing Roger? Thanks.
carsonsheir: No one can be perfect? I can't be perfect? Damn it...Thanks a million times over..as alway
L. M. Ward: Hmmm...Gig? interesting way to describe it...Thanks
until next time, this is me...signing out