A/N: Again, thanks so much for all of your encouraging reviews. My fever, pounding head, muscle aches, and congestion have suddenly invited their friend nausea to the party, and so I sincerely doubt that I'll be able to post again for another couple of days. I'm not even sure why I'm sending this out now, except that I think it's done and that it's in decent form. Please forgive all mistakes…both grammatical and medical. Please don't flame me, etc. etc.
Hope you enjoy the read, and that it isn't too unclear.
Emrys
Iron String – Part 2"Okay, lad. That's good. Open ye're eyes."
John tried to do as the melodious voice commanded, but it was difficult. And when he finally did manage to push his eyelids open, they were so heavy that they immediately crashed back down.
"Come on, Sheppard. If you think this is going to get you out of finishing our game, I'll have you know that…." The louder, annoying voice was shushed by the first, but John responded to it anyway. His eyelids fluttered open, and then stayed open to focus on the worried faces of Beckett and McKay.
"Rod…ney?" he questioned. He was disoriented and could not figure out what had happened or where he was.
"Ah, nice to see that your brain actually didn't leak from out of your ears," Rodney said caustically. Despite his confusion, John recognized the tone. Rodney was terrified.
"Wha…what…happened?" When had speaking become so difficult?
"Ye're in the infirmary, Colonel. Ye had a seizure, son," Beckett told him plainly.
"What? How's that…I don't have…I don't understand," Sheppard's voice was thickly slurred, and he couldn't seem to make sense out of what Carson was telling him.
"We can't be sure, but it's reasonable to think it's related to your use of the pod on the Aurora," Carson stated while placing a calming hand on John's shoulder.
"Wha? The pod?" John's brain didn't seem to be able to make reasonable connections.
"It's alright, son. Everythin' will be fine. Disorientation commonly results from a seizure of the type and magnitude you experienced. We're just goin' to monitor ye for a while. Ye need to rest while we do that." Carson's voice was soothing, and John found his eyes drooping closed in response to it.
On the edge of sleep, something suddenly occurred to him, and his eyelids shot open with the ease brought on by the beginnings of panic.
"Rod…ney!" he called weakly.
"Yes, Colonel, I'm here." Sheppard noted the tension around Rodney's jaw and realized that the man was still terrified despite John's rally back to consciousness.
"You…okay?" The words were accompanied by a weak gasp for breath as his head suddenly began pounding mercilessly.
"Apparently, I'm fine. Doctor Beckett is just going to keep me for observation for a while. Just in case. Now if you're not ready to go to sleep, perhaps we can continue our game. Honestly, I've always thought that you were one to finish what you started, even if you were losing. I…."
"Rodney," Beckett's voice quieted the other man, and McKay looked towards the doctor. "He can't hear ye. He's asleep again, son." Rodney looked back at the now drowsing Sheppard, and his mouth suddenly felt dry. He had wanted to initiate a little banter. If Sheppard was able to joke around a bit, then Rodney knew that his friend was going to be all right.
"Oh." Disappointed, Rodney drooped a bit and waved a frantic hand around before clutching both arms around his torso. "Oh, okay. What's next?"
Beckett looked kindly upon McKay and then eased him towards the bed beside Sheppard's.
"Right now, ye need rest," he said as he wandered towards a cabinet on the far end of the room. "We still have no real idea what happened, and if this episode was related to the pods, like ye think it is, then I want ye to stay as relaxed as possible. I'm going to monitor both of yer brain patterns carefully for the next 24 hours or so, and I have to notify Dr. Weir about what happened, of course. I also imagine that the rest of yer team might be interested to know about what happened. But all of this can be done with ye lyin' down."
"Oh, okay," Rodney repeated, unhappily. He took a closer look at Sheppard and found himself shocked by the man's visible condition. Sheppard looked pale and fragile, two characteristics Rodney didn't usually associate with the Colonel. Even during the whole bug-man incident John had only gotten stronger. Rodney did not care for the sight of his friend in this diminished state.
"Here, ye'll be more comfortable in these," Beckett called and threw a pair of scrubs in McKay's direction. Rodney looked up and clumsily plucked the clothing out of the air.
Carson noted the deep lines of worry that marred the physicist's face and sighed heavily. "C'mon Rodney. Cheer up! If we can keep him from turnin' into a bug, we can figure this out, right?" Beckett's voice rang with confidence that he truly didn't feel.
"Right," Rodney responded miserably. He nodded once and then drew the privacy curtains around his bed while clutching the scrubs despondently. "Right."
888
He was lying on his side, and Elizabeth was peering at him intently the next time he was able to open his eyes. This time his head was clearer, and he recognized his surroundings immediately.
The infirmary. Again. It seemed as if he had just been released from the medical bay not too long ago, and now here he was stuck there again. He suddenly felt confined by the antiseptic scents and too-bright lights, and he grimaced in disgust.
Sheppard rolled over while still keeping an eye on Elizabeth. Every muscle in his body ached abominably, and he recognized the dual violations of a feeding tube and catheter when he moved. Groaning slightly, he put a shaky hand up to his head. A series of wires and patches coated his hair and forehead, and he quickly pulled his hand away so as not to disturb them.
EEG, he thought ruefully. What the hell had happened this time?
"John," Elizabeth said. "Welcome back."
"You're not going to practice your bedside manner with me, are you Elizabeth? Because I don't think my head can take it," he responded, drowsily.
Elizabeth's face softened as some of the fear left it. "No," she said with a strange and heavy level of relief coloring her tone. "I'm going to get Carson right now. But you need to stay awake. Do you think you could do that for me?"
"Sure," John said. "Not a problem." But when she left, he felt fatigue pull at him and his eyelids closed of their own accord.
"Colonel Sheppard, you must stay awake," John opened his eyes at the sound of the controlled voice and now saw Teyla perched on the bed beside his.
"What? What happened to Elizabeth?" he asked, confusedly.
"She has only gone to get the doctor. You promised to stay awake. Do you not remember?" Teyla's face mimicked the concern John had previously noticed in Elizabeth's expression.
"Yeah, yeah. I just didn't see you there, I guess." He looked around to see if any other member of his team was around. "Where's Ronan? And Rodney, for that matter? I vaguely recall he was here before."
"Ronan will return shortly. Doctor Beckett insisted that he go to the cafeteria to get something to eat. As for Doctor McKay," Teyla hesitated, and John wondered what she was being so cautious about. "He was released to his quarters an hour ago. Dr. Beckett refuses to let him back into the infirmary until he has gained at least five hours of sleep."
"Oh, I bet he was happy about that," John said with a tired smile.
Teyla laughed a bit in response. "He called Doctor Beckett a…sheep-loving quack. I did not understand the reference, but by Doctor Beckett's response I imagine it was an insult."
"Yeah, you might call it that," Sheppard said wearily. "Hey, what happened anyway? I don't remember much of anything."
Teyla seemed about to say something but turned towards the sound of two people hurrying into the room. "Ah, here is Doctor Beckett. I believe he should be the one to explain," she said matter-of-factly. "I will go and find Ronan while Doctor Beckett examines you," she then added uneasily.
"Okay," John said, perplexed. He watched her leave, and then turned expectantly towards Beckett and Elizabeth. "So, how are you guys doing?" he asked rakishly.
"I was just about to ask ye that, Colonel," Beckett said with a gentle smile.
Sheppard quickly evaluated his condition and reported to the doctor truthfully. "I feel okay. My head hurts a little, and I'm tired, but nothing too unusual."
Both Beckett and Elizabeth showed visible signs of relief at his words. "That's good," Beckett said. "Very, very good."
"Doc, how about you tell me what's going on?" John asked, now worried by Carson's reaction.
"Colonel, it's been 48 hours since you and I last had a conversation," Carson said. John wondered at the odd way in which the doctor couched his explanation and found himself more distracted by the sentence syntax than by the facts presented there.
"Why do I have the feeling that there's more to it than that?" he asked warily.
Elizabeth silently asked Carson for the floor, and the doctor eagerly assented with an enthusiastic nod of his head.
"John, what is the last thing that you remember?" Weir asked.
John looked from one anxious face to another while determinedly trying to access his last memory. Suddenly the fragmented recollection of a worried conversation with Rodney about the pods flashed through his head.
"McKay…." He murmured absently. He struggled excitedly to sit up but was pushed gently back down by Beckett before the EEG and other leads could be pulled out. "Rodney. Is Rodney all right?"
"Calm down, John," Elizabeth insisted in a quiet voice. "Rodney's okay. It's you we're worried about."
John stared at her, and it took him a moment to recall that Teyla had just informed him that Rodney had been sent back to his quarters. Surely Beckett wouldn't have forced him out of the infirmary if there were anything wrong. "Oh, okay," he said in an oddly calm voice. He settled back against the thin mattress of the infirmary bed and closed his eyes.
"Colonel Sheppard, do ye remember anythin' else after talkin' to Rodney? Anythin' at all?" Beckett's voice pervaded the fog that was steadily building in John's head, and he opened his eyes in response.
He drew a blank and shook his head negatively. "Why? Is there something I should know? I thought I've been unconscious for the past 48 hours."
Beckett sighed. "No, Colonel. Ye've been uncommunicative for the past 48 hours," he clarified. "Your brain waves are all over the place. Delta and theta waves are being produced when you're conscious, and alpha and beta when ye'r genuinely unconscious."
"So I take it that's bad," John said hesitantly.
"Aye. Your brain waves are reversed. Alpha and beta waves should be produced only when y'er conscious. Yers are bein' produced when y'er unconscious." Beckett hesitated as if weighing how much information he felt Sheppard could handle. The doctor sighed and seemed to come to some decision. "It's a sign of brain damage, but…" he finally said. John felt his head abruptly clear and heard his heart monitor speed up involuntarily at the information.
"What? How? Brain damage? I feel fine!" he sputtered, alarmed.
"Calm down, son. It's all right. The CAT scan shows that even though yer brain waves are outta whack, all of the centers of yer brain seem to be firin' appropriately. Basically, everythin' organic is intact, and it's only yer brain chemistry and patterns that are abnormal."
John felt his breathing even out as he considered the doctor's words. "Well, what else could be going on?" he asked uneasily. Elizabeth moved closer to his side when she sensed the frustration emanating off of him.
"Well, in addition to the discrepancies we've observed between yer normal brain chemistry and patterns and yer current state, ye've been experiencin' seizures."
"Well that doesn't sound good either," John muttered dejectedly.
"Aye, it's a problem," Beckett agreed. "Yer brain waves seem to regain a relatively normal state after each seizure, but they generally degrade a few hours afterwards. Ye've been experiencing cycles of, well, for lack of a better word, catatonia followed by the seizures and then genuine unconsciousness. Unfortunately, the seizures have become progressively longer and stronger, so we were forced to put ye on anti-seizure medications before ye actually did accrue brain damage." Beckett hesitated yet again, and John braced himself for the next bout of information. "I've also started administerin' a low dose of anti-psychotic to help maintain a relatively normal brain chemistry. It's been all out of whack, and…."
"Anti-psychotics! I'm crazy now, too?" John felt his heart lurch again at the news.
Elizabeth stroked his shoulder in an effort to offer some comfort, but John could not bring himself to accept it. What the hell had happened to him?
"It's okay, Colonel," Beckett insisted. "It's only temporary until we find out what's really going on. And it's workin', too. Shortly after administratin' the medications, ye became conscious for the first time in two days."
Sheppard was skeptical and closed his eyes against the facts that had been relayed to him. "What caused this?" he asked while pushing back despair that had suddenly threatened to overwhelm him.
"We're not sure, John," Elizabeth said while stubbornly continuing to offer tactile support. "We think it has something to do with the pods. After studying your EEG, Rodney noticed that your brain patterns were identical to those you produced when you were in the pod."
"But Rodney's okay, right?"
"Yes. Since the Aurora has been destroyed, there is no real way of determining why you were affected and he wasn't. It could have something to do with the length of time you were in there, or the fact that you were stunned while in the alternate reality, or…."
"Or that a Wraith was in there manipulating the program the whole time I was in there," John interrupted Elizabeth's explanation.
"Yes, that's right," Elizabeth concurred softly.
"Ye need to rest now, Colonel," Beckett suddenly interjected when he noticed John's unhealthy pallor become grayer with the exhaustion he felt. "Dinna worry. We just need time to figure this out."
Sheppard only nodded and turned away from them morosely. He closed his eyes and was asleep in moments.
Both Elizabeth and Carson moved out of earshot of Sheppard and eyed him warily from across the room. Elizabeth looked at Carson dejectedly. "He became so depressed so quickly," she commented.
"He's experiencin' mood swings," the doctor replied. "It's not unexpected given the nature of this illness, but it could simply be a response to the news. It's not every day that someone finds out they've started takin' anti-psychotic drugs. And someone with the character of Colonel Sheppard would take it particularly hard."
"What do we do now?"
"I'm not sure. I'm going to keep a close eye on him until this clears up. He seems stable now, and if his EEG remains normal, I'd say with some confidence that the medications are resulting in an improvement."
Elizabeth's mouth dropped open at Beckett's comment. "But Carson," she said forcefully. "I need him the way he was, not drugged to the gills on anti-psychotics and anti-seizure medication. He'll be sent back to Earth if that's the case."
Beckett studied her astonished face and felt his own wave of depression crest. "Aye, lass. That's all true. But right now those medications are the only things standin' between his sanity and the total shut down of his brain. I'll do my best to wean him off the medications after he's stabilized further, but ye need to be prepared in the event that this becomes a permanent condition for the Colonel."
"That can't happen," the Atlantis leader stated. "It won't happen," she added with more force behind her words.
"I won't let it happen if it's within my power," Carson assured and then returned to Sheppard's side to study the newest EEG data.
Elizabeth could not help but think that the doctor's response was anything but satisfying.