As much as I would love to own the world, I sadly do not.
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Chapter 5: Control
The last few weeks have been....strange. I guess that's the word. Jack and I tried to keep our relationship under wraps, but with the guys always around it became very hard. Plus the fact that over the years Mac and Buzzy got very good at figuring out when, as they would say, "I was in luuuve".
Buzzy guessed first. We were at Mario's one night and I was sitting between him and Jack and somehow Jack and I ended up holding hands under the table. As soon as we realized we pulled apart. Buzzy had already seen. At some point that night Buzzy and I were left alone at the table and he just came out with it.
"So you and OC....that's interesting."
"What are you talking about?"
"Tara, it's me Buzzy. We have known each other since the womb. I see how you two look at each other; how you always manage to be touching. Not to mention you were holding hands before. So don't try to deny it."
There was a long silence. I didn't know what to say. Neither Jack nor I really cared if the guys knew; we really wanted to keep it from my dad. We just figured that it would be easier if the team didn't know. It seemed that plan was now shot to shit.
"Buzzy I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner. We just figured it would be easier...."
"To keep it from your dad if we didn't know. We totally understand and we actually agree with you. Coach doesn't need to know and he will not hear it from us."
I turned around to see Mac standing with Jack and the rest of the team. I guess Jack and I were not as sneaky as we thought. As everyone sat back down Jack put his arm around me. I could get used to this...you know....being out in public.
"But Jack, I have to tell you, as one of Tara's oldest friends. You hurt her and I will kill you."
"Don't worry Mac. I have no intention of messing up such a good thing."
A so began "operation: don't tell Herb". The guys were great. They would act like look outs or offer cover stories. It sort of became another team bonding activity. It seemed like dad had no idea. He was probably to busy to really pay too much attention. The Olympics were rapidly approaching, he still had to cut some people, and the team was not yet where he wanted them to be. Don't get me wrong practice was going well. The guys were getting stronger and faster. They were grasping the new style and they were playing like more of a team. But every day there was the question...."who do you play for?....and every day the wrong answers.... "the U", "Wisconsin". The guys just didn't get it and I was not about to tell them. They needed to figure it out on their own.
So here we are headed to Norway. I can tell everyone is nervous. Hell I'm nervous. They should beat this team, but you never know. Sitting here in Jack's arms I go through everything that could possibly go wrong, someone could get hurt or maybe we aren't ready. It's giving me a headache and for some reason the utter silence on the plane is not helping.
"Jack, are you awake?"
"No."
I hit him playfully. He fakes pain and then starts to laugh.
"I'm really nervous Jack. I feel like we have all been in a bubble the last few weeks. I like that bubble and now we are leaving it. Does that make any sense?"
"Yeah....sort of. Up until now we haven't been tested. We've been playing each other. Wearing practice jerseys. Now it's another team and we are going to have USA written across our chests. That's a completely different ballgame."
"Are you scared of being cut?"
"Yeah. I have always played hockey to win and other than college; which we will not discuss in such mixed company; my team has always won. But this, the Olympics...shit....its a dream. I tell myself not to think about it, but it's always there. So I go out and I play hard everyday, because, it is all I can control."
I move in closer to him and bury my head into his shoulder. It somehow manages to calm my nerves enough that I am able to fall asleep. Unfortunately, there is very little I can control.