By: Caramel Rain
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything else for that matter of fact.
Summary: Everyone knows and loves the sweet and innocent Serenity Wheeler her beauty, her charm, and her naivety was renowned. Too bad that won't get her man. It's always Serenity the sister, Serenity the friend, heck even Serenity the back up of the backup of the babysitter. Well no longer is she going to spend her Saturday nights watching Juliet Robert movies and eating toffee; she's dating Seto Kaiba, and she loves it. (For now)
This chapter is going to be written from Kaiba's twisted little point of view. Enjoy!
Chapter 2Meanwhile, at the top level, in the top office sat the top CEO, Seto Kaiba, once again looking peeved and constipated as he read, for the third time that morning, the incriminating article that assaulted his sexuality.
My Gay Idol, Seto KaibaBy Serenity Wheeler, Domino Times Writer
In order to define the essence of a great and conquering man is to ask him to forfeit his soul without a fight. It is relatively impossible to strip a man of his arrogance once it is established in his miniscule brain that he is superior to all that walk, talk, and breath. Of course that means that he naturally should be dictator of all us useless women that no one else in the world should give a fig leaf about. And for some unknown reason, their own ordained divinity leads them to falsely believe in their absolute attractiveness that mindless, senseless, and idiotic females could not possibly fully appreciate. Therefore all the great men in history have turned out to be gay. Shakespeare, Alexander the Great, the Pope, Seto Kaiba, you name it they are all gay. And these homosexual masculine specimens blame their sexual preference on the inanity and unworthiness of the women that inhibit their world.
We as females object wholeheartedly of course, but then again what do we know. All women really do is just carry a baby for nine months, push the kid out, and than carry the kid for another nine months, because some of us can't afford strollers. Since the words strong males and cute babies are almost an oxymoron, women are truly worthless creatures that do not deserve to breath the same air as those far superior to them, the male specimen. Such is the case of Japan's own Mr. Kaiba. With wealth and riches that outweigh the kings and queens before our time, and a company escalating across the four oceans of this world, this tyrant is truly the future of the world in his supremacy, arrogance and fondness for men. Mr. Kaiba has never been linked with a woman before, and with his status and looks; he should be flocked with eager and presumptuous females. Why would such a wealthy extravagant man free himself from all the pleasures a woman can provide? One answer stands out clearly above the others. With my condolences to bachelorettes all over the world, I must reveal now, unfortunately, that the Mr. Seto Kaiba, as loaded and pretty as he is, does, in fact, like boys.
Fuming as much as he had the first time he read the cursed and bogus article written by that despicable she-mutt, Kaiba started to rant loudly.
Again.
"Good God, who the hell does that she-Wheeler think she is? Gay, I am as far as a gay as a man could possibly be. I'm very masculine. I am not gay! She should look to her own brother to feed her gay fetish; the Mutt and Motou were not simply just friends." He cackled angrily.
"She better get that retraction article and fast or there will be hell to pay, for her and the mutt. If she had any common sense, whatsoever, left in her than she would write that retraction right away, then again, she was a Wheeler, so she probably didn't have enough common sense to fill up an eggcup." He cackled evilly, thinking of how funny he really was and how witty and pretty and giddy he was. He was just so funny. Oh so funny.
Cackle. Cackle. Cackle.
Stop!
He then decided to cackled evilly some more."Wheeler, Wheeler, Wheeler, you have absolutely no idea what I have in store for you. It doesn't matter if you write the retraction or not, one way or another you are going to be working in some second rate diner, waiting on people hand and foot. I'm just being a dutiful citizen of Domino by putting you in your rightful position in society." He, at that time, began again to cackle, cackle, and cackle.
Kaiba snickered evilly, as evilly as an evil genius with an evil streak and evil intentions could possibly snicker so evilly, after thinking about all the evil things his evil brain had evilly conjured up in order, to evilly torture the not so evil she-Wheeler.
After Kaiba finished cackling at his great evilness he decided to pray to his idol for a good year of evilness.
He retrieved the ultra high-tech remote, from the ultra silver cabinet, across from his ultra expensive desk, where he had been seated moments before, thinking ultra evil thoughts
After retrieving the ultra technology advanced remote control, he pressed an ultra advanced button to open up an ultra advanced closet, which held an ultra advanced image of Hitler.
Kaiba cackled an ultra satisfied crackle at his own genius, of course it did not occur to the ultra genius that he could of just opened the closet that was situated by his desk that conveniently had a door knob, but that would have defeated the ultra flamboyant purpose of going across the gargantuan office to retrieve the shiny remote control and skip across the office again to press the little button that would open the closet door which was by his desk.
People can't say Seto Kaiba took the easy way out.
Kaiba slowly and cautiously kneeled down vigilantly at the ultra technology advance cyber mat and prayed to the adequately framed picture of Hitler while chanting, "To the poor goes the spoiled" (1)
Cackle! Cackle! Hiccup!
"To the poor goes the spoiled"
"To the poor goes the spoiled"
"To the poor goes..."
!Thud!
Unfortunately, Hitler was extremely aggravated today and decided to topple nicely onto Kaiba's head. Nicely, but painfully.
Snap!
Kaiba was now back to his normal, ultra technology advanced, evil self.
He snapped open his eyes that had once been glazed over, glanced around, closed the closet, and left the office.
Abstinence of coffee could do that to a person.
A/N:
(1)- That was sort of a distortion of "To the Victory goes the spoils" from an old political cartoon I saw of the presidential race of Andrew Jackson and John Adams. I used poor (Serenity is poor, then again compared to Kaiba who isn't?) and spoiled (spoiled food). I have absolutely no idea why in seven levels of Hell I would use that, but I did.
The Hitler thing, it isn't meant to offend anyone or to be cruel, just something to tie in the prologue.
This chapter was... WEIRD. I had ten cups to many coffees, and I think my AP psyche paper sort of took all the common sense in me.
Anyways, when I was editing this chapter I realized that it was completely irrelevant other than the article part. I'm not even sure yet if I actually wanted to keep this chapter. It was just plain weird. These things sort of play themselves out in my head, and then when other people actually read them, they're like "You're a freak"
This chapter is an over extension of my psycho humor that no one really gets except for my cat, but that's only because I feed her.
I know Kaiba is super retarded and out of character in this chapter, but he'll be back to his normal, hot, scrooge self by next chapter.
InnoscenTorn- you've really been super encouraging with your reviews and I just wanted to say thank you. I've finally read your story and I loved it. It was cute and witty, and POPS, loved him.