Tum tee tum tum tumm… what to do today? What to do? Well, I guess I could work on that story that I was writing. How long has it been since I updated? Three days? A week? Let's see here…o.0!
HOLY CHRISTMAS TREES AND PERMANENT MARKER SMELLS! It's been that long? Jeez….
Anywhay, moving along. I have come to bestow upon the lands, from the north to the south, from the far reaches of the Pacific, to the outmost regions of the Atlantic, to the infinite stars in the sky, into the great depths of the earth, among the-
Bakura: WILL YOU HURRY UP!
Oh, Bakura, don't be such a pushy-pushy.
Bakura: o.O A pushy-pushy…?
Atem: You heard the girl. SHUTUP!
Joey: MAKE ME!
Atem: I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU, YOU BRAINLESS WASTE OF SPACE AND OXYGEN!
Joey: Oh… what are we doin' again?
Seto: I believe you were shutting up.
Joey: Riiiiiiigghhhttt…
Hmm. So, yeah. On with the story, then. Oh, and also, you might see the word PADA in some chapters. Those were my former initials. Kay?
Disclaimer: If I owned Yugioh, why would I be writing fan fics about it?
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Chapter 12: The Broccoli Must Die
So, after the wonderful duel that takes place, all the peeps go back to party mode. Yugi plans, Bakura gets drunk, Seto sits around on his butt sulking, the whole works.
"Hikari, I don't think you letting me go with Kaiba and those other two morons is such a good idea." Atem tells Yugi.
"Don't worry, Temu. I'm sure it will be fine. Now where's Mokuba? He's supposed to call everybody."
"Oh, last I saw him, he was messing around with the blender. Of course, that was after that scream, just a moment ago…"
Yugi turns to the Pharaoh. "WHAT? Why was he messing around with the BLENDER?"
"He was trying to, and I quote him, 'Destroy the wickedness and vileness that has been upon us for countless centuries.' Whatever it was, it was green."
Yugi is about to say something, but pauses when he sees Bakura dancing around in the backyard, singing, as it's raining, with no clothes on.
"Holy ewoks…" he says, a demented look on his face. "RYOU!"
Ryou hurries in, soaked. "Yugi, have you seen him?"
"Quite a bit more than I want."
Ryou turns his head. "Oh, no, Bakura!" He runs off.
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The 'green' Atem saw is definitely more than just a color. No, it is in fact, the annihilation of all the human, spirit, elvish, and, er… Swedish (?) 0.o, races in the world, nay, the UNIVERSE! And though little Mokuba has the right idea, such depravity cannot be done away with so quickly and easily.
After the greenness, also known as General Nokanndi sends Mokuba to his awful fate, of which cannot yet be confirmed, he retreats to the rest of his soldiers.
"All right, you bunch of girl scouts!" he begins, pacing the inside of the plastic bag. "We've got one smartass out there who's figured out our little secret. Thankfully enough, he's just a little elementary-schooler. Our real enemies are as follows: Lex Luther, Goth Boy, Mr. Luther's doppelganger, Mr. Insanity, and Sir Killalot. Now, we'll go in groups. Eckstrawite and Soopurcleen, go with Kavateesgonn. Viteiman, you'll go with Gudphoru and Hellthie. Brusshyerteath and Uesphloss will come with me! Any questions men?"
Gudphoru raises a hand. "Uh, are we really considered men?"
"That was discussed LAST TIME, Mr. Gudphoru! If you don't pay attention, YOU WON'T GET ANY ANSWERS!"
Gudphoru stands silent.
General Nokanndi grins. "All right, let's go. Smiling faces!"
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Meanwhile, during the Council of Vegetables, another stranger is lurking, this time outside the house. It isn't raining any more, though it is rather windy, but in any case, he comes out from behind his hiding spot. He darts from tree, to bush, to dog, to baseball bat, back to dog, then to the side of the house, where he watches the kitchen silently.
He pulls his hat down to shade his eyes, and draws his coat a little closer around him. Looking about, he lifts his 'watch' to his mouth and speaks.
"Chucky, you there?"
A boys voice comes back on the little radio. "Yes, sir. I'm here. And for the last time, could you please not call me Chucky?"
The figure grins, his magnificently white teeth shining. "All right, li'l boy. Do you know all the plans? I told 'em to you before I left and you couldn't have possibly forgotten them."
"Don't worry, sir. I don't have that short of a memory, although it could have helped to write them down-"
"Now li'l boy, why write something down when it's just so much easier to store 'em in that head of yours? Uh, I'm gonna head on in soon. Make sure to tell 'em to me, ok Chuck?"
"Sir, honestly. I just told you not to-"
"For the love of Fudgediddlers, kid! We don't have much time, so I need you to hurry!"
'Chucky' sighs. "Yes sir…"
"That's the spirit, Chucky."
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A yell erupts from the living room, followed by sounds of choking. Then hysterical laughter. Then more choking as the hysterical laughter was cut off. Seth waltzes into the room. No, that doesn't sound right. Even if he is only the past life of Mr. Kaiba, he probably wouldn't do such a thing as 'waltz'. No, no, that won't work at all. I suppose he could walk, but everyone walks, and quite frankly, it's rather overrated, in my opinion only, no doubt. Well, I suppose we'll have to go with bursts, though I don't really know what kinds of an explosion that would cause…
At any rate, Seth… comes… into the room.
"Oh-my-God-I-think-I-am-about-to-die-from-excitement."
"Shutup Valon! You betta worry 'bout dyin from lack of oxygen!" Joey shouts, getting the Aussie in a headlock while trying to wipe his owneyes.
Malik, who from now on will be the hikari, though the two weren't the most pleased about switching name tags after all this time, just grins, spraying the two with Windex, of which is getting mostly in Joey's eyes, leading to the fact of 'wiping' as stated in the above paragraph.
"WILL YOU CUT DAT OUT!"
"Nope." Malik keeps spraying.
Seth, who had forgotten his purpose for being there, until now of course, grabs the two using his mighty SUPER ENERGY POWER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then he tells them to shutup and get back to work.
The standard aged boys comply without hesitation.
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"Mokuba!" Seto calls for the umpteen-billionth time.
"Kaiba, I doubt he's going to answer." Yugi sighs. They have been looking for the boy for the past twenty minutes and have seen no signs of him whatsoever. Well, at least no signs in Kaiba's opinion. Yugi did happen to point out a bright red one that said, 'Mokuba: twenty feet from current location'. There was one that Atem, who had come with them, told him about. It was neon orange and stated quite clearly, 'HOLY CRAP HE'S TWO INCHES TO YOUR LEFT' but Kaiba said that he didn't like orange, and went to the right instead.
So now they are on the roof of the three-story mansion, a thirty-foot drop below them. This is exactly when the northeastern wind decides to poke its little head up, and blow.
WOOSH!
The three obviously fall. Sort of, that is. Thanks to Kaiba's anti-gravitational coat, he floats safely to the ground, snickering at the fate of the others on the way down, and looking very much like a rather uncanny and demented Mary Poppins while doing so.
Also, thanks to the Pharaoh's magical power of being able to live inside a puzzle for three millennia, he retreats into his soul room, the golden artifact finding its way into a curve of Seto's supernatural attire, and also landing safely upon the ground.
Therefore, Yugi was the only one to be truly hurt, what with two broken legs and all. But because he is the central focus of the anime, he is given the power to self-heal, and also the expertise to levitate while doing so. In the end, no one was really physically impaired in any way, shape or form, and, in the long run, this section of the story serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever.
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The greenness is marching. They will come. They will come…
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But before they come, let's go back to the man in the other coat, which may or may not defy gravity depending upon the weather. I don't know, ask that cow sitting next to you, who's reading over your shoulder.
Heh, gotcha.
Anyway, the man has finished his dartings and what not, and is now looking for an open entrance. He has come across more than one guard, dog, and guard dog, and makes a great deal of use out of his cane upon each occasion.
"Charles. You're still there right?"
Charles/Chucky/Chuck sighs again. "Yes, yes I am." He had gotten use to his mentor calling him differentnames nowand again over the past three years, seeing how he was so busy with his 'work', though one could never be sure how such activity could be called such a name, but this was getting ridiculous.
"And you do know how to read?"
"Sir, I'm in 9th grade. Yes, I am quite sure I know how to read by now."
"Oh, good! Now, read me the first step, seeing how you seem to have forgotten it already."
"I'm sorry, sir. It's just, well, one of your workers decided to mess around with one of your machines, and, well you know the rest. It's a good thing I talked you into getting that computer, or else we would have no more plans. Though I'm not quite sure why you didn't tell me that you typed them up in the first place."
"Ok, Chucky, ok. I just, er, forgot, yes, that's it. And don't worry, I will have my serviceman severely punished tomorrow, or whenever it is I'm coming back."
"And we all know how severe your punishments are sir. Ok, step one… infiltrate Seto Kaiba's mansion."
"Working on it." The man looks at the window, from the left side of the house. It is rather large, taking up almost the whole wall of the room. From here, he can see what looks to be the three stooges, only these are younger, looking to be in their teenage years.
'Buncha weirdos,' he thought.
"Sir?"
"Hold on, Chuck. Ok, ok. I've got an idea. Stand back."
"... don't worry."
The man grabs a rock.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going in."
"How are you planning to get in?"
"Very carefully." He throws the rock. Surprisingly enough, to some people anyway, the window shatters. And seeing how it is Mr. Kaiba's house, an alarm goes off.
"Sir, did you just throw a rock through Seto Kaiba's window?""Uh, yeah."
"It shattered, correct?""Yup."
"And now an alarm went off and the police are probably coming for you right?""Most likely."
"… congratulations, sir."
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Heh, wow. This chapter got completely out of hand, and in all the honesty of the monks and nuns in the world, I don't know what's going to happen next. I wasn't even thinking about broccoli when I started out, except to use as a mere title for this section, which I actually got from a Family Guy episode. So, if it gets really weird, you can thank my imagination. Also, can you guess who the guy is? Put your thoughts in your reviews, I mean, if you want, seeing how this is a free country and all…
Oh, and yes. The names of the 'soldiers' do actually have meanings to them. Look a little closer.