Lust for Sin

A Story by Rikku-Hoshi

Oh my gosh am I sorry it took me so long! Tennis started and suddenly everything got so busy! Hangs head I'm so sorry! Anyway though, I've been planning this chapter since...Oh goodness, February, so...Here it is finally! It's not at all like I planned it, but that's okay. Enjoy!

Chapter 12: Vile of Blood

Midnight. It was a chilly night, actually, so it had been easy for her to stay awake. It was, after all, very cold. Leaning against the railing, she stared mindlessly at the tree that he had climbed down the night before, but there was no sign of him.

"Where is he?" she mused softly to himself, as she continued to stare into the darkness. She wanted him to be there so badly. She felt like crying though, as she realized that her wanting to have him there just wasn't right. She couldn't think of him as anything more than a friend. Even thinking of him as a dear friend was pushing it.

She just continued to stand there, wishing he would appear.

She must have dozed off, because the next thing she knew, the clock was striking one, and still no sign of Tidus. Sighing, she decided there was no use waiting for him–he wasn't coming.

Anger and disappointment filled her heart as she went to bed that night. She thought of conversations they could have had in her head, and wondered why he hadn't shown. Hadn't he said he would?

A tear slipped down her cheek, as she realized that it felt like her heart was being tugged into two. More tears fell as she realized that he probably hadn't shown because he knew she was beginning to fall for him.

"But I know," she said softly, "That it's for the better. After all...It only proves that he was falling for me, too..."

And with that last thought, she drifted into an uneasy slumber.

-

Throughout the temple services the next morning, Yuna couldn't help but try to wonder why it was that she was attracted to Tidus so. She barely knew him, after all.

After the temple services, and with Yuna still unable to answer her question as to Tidus and her attraction, she went with Seymour and Dona to have tea, then on a walk with Seymour, much to Dona's dismay, and then to her house.

Then, at midnight, she stood on the balcony again, waiting for Tidus to appear. Again, he never showed. Yet again, she would cry herself to sleep, trying to convince herself that she did not want him, nor did she need him. However, her attempts to convince herself that he was not needed always resulted in a failure. She wanted him, and she needed him. Badly.

Everything told her this was true: From the tearing at her heart to the pang in her stomach. There was no explaining it.

-

This went on for weeks. She would go about her daily routine, with her mind constantly on Tidus, and then wait for him. And every night, he never showed.

-

"Alright, spill it," Dona said, one afternoon as Yuna and her were drinking tea alone. Barthello had gone hunting with Seymour and some other men, and would be gone for a week.

"My tea?" Yuna just said, looking at the petite tea cup that was in her hands.

"No. About Tidus and you," Dona just said, "You haven't been out to see him now in two weeks."

"What do you do, spy on me?" Yuna just said, in an annoyed tone. She had finally managed to get her mind off of Tidus, and now Dona was bringing him back up.

"No, I just watch you," Dona said, rolling her eyes, "Now come on, Yuna! What's up?"

"Nothing's up," Yuna just said, "I'm marrying Seymour, and that's that."

"Ugh, Yuna, what if I talked to Tidus?"

"About what?" Yuna said, although honestly, her curiosity was up. Could Dona somehow discuss her with Tidus?

"Look, Tidus and I used to have a thing," Dona said, "Mainly 'cause he's hot, and I'm sexy. We go together. But then I realized I wanted Seymour. But now Seymour wants you. But I know Tidus and you were really meant to be."

"Really?" Yuna said, although she hadn't meant to sound interested.

"Really," Dona just said, and looked at her nails, "But Tidus is...Shall we say...Weird? I mean, surely you've noticed by now."

"Well, he is a little odd," Yuna admitted.

"A little? Honey, he loves darkness. He's practically consumed by it; obsessed."

"I suppose he is—."

"And oh my Yevon, have you noticed that he even dresses all in black? And his history! Oh my Yevon! He's almost crazy! But...In a good kind of way, of course."

"Y-You know about his history!" Yuna practically shouted, as she was so excited, "My goodness, where is he from?"

Dona snorted, and said, "Once, we both got kind of drunk, and he started telling me he was from Zanarkand!"

Yuna's mouth fell open. Zanarkand! But that city had been destroyed years and years ago!

"He must have just been horridly drunk," Yuna just said, although her eyes were downcast and her mind was racing.

"Oh, he was," Dona said, "And I suppose I may have been too, but not nearly as bad as he! He was spouting off about how some demon killed his mother and that's why he's so obsessed with the darkness and all that good stuff! He's a Yu-Yevon worshiper, that's for sure."

Yuna's heart began to race. Surely Tidus couldn't have just made all of that stuff up? Suddenly, Yuna felt a pang of jealousy as she realized that Dona knew more about Tidus than she did.

"Dona," Yuna said softly, as she set her tea cup on the table across from her and folded her hands in her lap, "I want to see him..."

"Then go," Dona just said, smiling sweetly, although there was an evil glint in her eyes, "Seymour's not here to stop you. What better time?"

"Dona," Yuna said, "I'm getting married in a month. There's nothing I can do about that."

"You love him!" Dona suddenly said tauntingly, "Not Seymour, Tidus! Admit it!"

"I don't even know him!" Yuna cried.

"So," Dona just said, "Ask him. Go to him, Yuna. You know you want to."

"I can't," Yuna just said softly, "Besides, Tidus says he can't fall in love with me. Even Paine and Lulu agree..."

"Ah, you met them both?" Dona said, continuing to smile, "They're so queer, but so perfect for you, Yuna! Seriously, go to them."

"No," Yuna just said, standing up, "I mustn't. I can't." Yuna pulled the ring off of her finger and admired it, before putting it back on, and said, "I can't."

"Love isn't a sin," Dona said, standing up, "And believe me, I know, being that I am the minister's daughter."

"Strange," Yuna just said, facing Dona, "I've been hearing differently. Love is a sin."

"That's nonsense, Yuna. Do you believe in that?"

"Well, I didn't..."

"Exactly. It's not. Where in the bible of Yevon does it say that it is a sin to love? Nowhere."

"It is if I'm to marry!" Yuna said.

"...Not always," Dona just said, "I'll leave it to you, of course my dear, but if I were you, I wouldn't let a man like Tidus go. Listen here, Yuna. I did love Tidus. Very much. But he didn't love me in return. I realized this, and because of it, I left him. Well...he left me, but that's not the point. Anyway, I know he loves you."

"He left me, too," Yuna just said.

"Yuna, go to him!" Dona just said yet again, "Stop denying it to yourself! You're in love with him, and he's in love with you! End of story, and don't try to tell me otherwise! Go to him!"

Yuna peaked out the window, and wanted to sob.

"It's dark out, and raining!" Yuna just said, walking over to the window that was wet with raindrops, "You know I can't be out past night with the beast and all."

"Yuna, why should that stop you?" Dona just questioned, and laughed, "Besides, I promise you won't get attacked. Just hurry."

"But Dona..."

"Go, Yuna."

Yuna didn't say anything. She just stared out the window into the dark of the night, and finally threw on her cloak, and started out the door.

"Oh Yuna!" Dona called after her, "I promise Seymour won't know about this."

Yuna wanted to say that she wasn't going to go. She really did. Yet, she found she couldn't. She said nothing to Dona, and was out the door.

-

She was soaked by the time she made it to that small little house. It seemed as if the last time she had visited the house had been years ago. Everything looked the same though, as if the world had stopped while she was gone.

Hugging herself, she ran up the stairs to the door and knocked loudly, hoping that someone would answer. It was then though that she realized she had no idea what she was doing. She wasn't supposed to be there.

Her thoughts stopped as the door suddenly opened. It was Lulu who opened the door, and she appeared very shocked to see Yuna standing there, dripping wet.

"Y-Yuna?" Lulu just said, and opened the door wide, "Come in!"

Yuna did as told and stood there with water dripping off of her. Yuna then saw Paine come rushing up the stairs.

Paine stopped upon seeing Yuna, and then looked at Lulu, and then back at Yuna.

"Lulu," Paine said, crossing her arms, "This isn't the time for visitors."

"I know," Lulu just said softly, "But she was dripping wet. I couldn't just leave her out there!"

"Lulu, this isn't the time!" Paine just said, and it was then that Yuna noticed that Paine wore an expression of worry, and even despair. She looked horrible.

Paine then grabbed a cloak of her own, and ran outside, shoving her way past Yuna. The door slammed behind her, causing Lulu to jump. Yuna noticed that Lulu too wore the same expression as Paine.

"Lulu," Yuna just said, "What's wrong?"

Lulu's eyes darted to Yuna's, as if Yuna had just asked something that should never be asked. However, her violet-colored lips parted, and she spoke.

"It's Tidus."

Yuna's eyes fell open, and she practically yelled, "What's wrong with him?"

Lulu didn't answer, and said, "Yuna, you should go."

"Why?" Yuna just asked, "What's wrong with him?"

"He's going to die," Lulu just said, almost calmly, "Unless Paine can...help him."

"What do you mean?" Yuna just asked.

Lulu looked like she was going to cry, and she said, "He hasn't been...eating. He hasn't eaten now for over a week."

"What?" Yuna just cried, "Why not?"

"He's starving himself," Lulu just said, "Paine went to...get some food. She's hoping she can shove it down his throat and make him eat it."

Yuna just shook her head. Nothing was making sense. Nothing at all.

"Can I see him?" Yuna asked then into the silence.

Lulu looked shocked at the question, and then shook her head.

"He's unconscious and...not well," Lulu just said, and then looked out the window, "I hope Paine gets back soon..."

"Isn't there any food here?" Yuna asked then, looking around the kitchen, "There has to be something you can do!"

The door opened then, and Paine came running in. Yuna turned around and saw her rush in, carrying a vile of a red liquid.

Yuna's heart sped and her stomach began to churn. Something about whatever was in the vile just did not look good.

Paine rushed down the stairs with Lulu right on her heels. Yuna stood there, feeling confused, and then finally rushed down after them.

She made it down just as Lulu went into Tidus' room. However, they then shut the door directly in Yuna's face, keeping her from seeing into the room.

Yuna wanted to protest, but she couldn't. After all, she had basically invaded their privacy. Still, she wanted to know what they were doing, how Tidus, was, and most importantly, if he would make it.

Finally, angered that she was being left out, Yuna pushed the door open a crack.

Tidus was lying in his bed, and Paine and Lulu were on both sides of him. Lulu had him propped up, and Paine was pouring the vile into his mouth.

Yuna's mouth grew agape as she realized what the liquid reminded her of. As it dripped down the side of Tidus' mouth, Yuna shut the door and backed away in horror.

"It's blood!" she just cried, and at that, lost her own consciousness.