Lust for Sin
A Story by Rikku-Hoshi
Sorry everybody that it took me so long to update! And this chapter may be awfully boring! Still, its a very important part of the story. Also, before long, I want to start writing Tidus full story too, and I think Ill just put it in here. Hopefully in October, I can start Tidus little supplement! In the meantime, enjoy!
Chapter 15: For Anything
AYuna! Tidus repeated himself, but Yuna only pressed herself against the brick wall of a building, cowering from him. She threw her arms around her neck, feeling her own dripping blood and began to sob.
AYuna, Tidus said again, softly, AWhat the hell were you doing out here? You know its not safe!
AYoure the beast, Yuna said, as she looked at him. He didnt appear quite as frightening as he had before, being that he had wiped the blood off of his mouth and his fangs had seemingly disappeared. He caught her eyes, and she just cowered again, hiding her face from him.
AI didnt know it was you, Tidus said softly. He walked over to her, but she only tried to scoot herself away from him. She was shaking so horribly though, that she fell over.
AYuna, Im sorry! Tidus just said, bending down next to her, tearing a piece of his shirt off to hold over her neck, AI wanted to tell you, but I couldnt!
AWhat are you? Yuna just asked through her tears, refusing to take the piece of cloth he held out to her.
AIm a beast, Tidus just said softly, his eyes downcast, AA monster, a demon. The outdated term is vampire. I suck the blood from the living, killing them from the blood loss. Thats how I survive.
AB-But why? Yuna just stammered, as she finally took the cloth in a shaky hand, placing it over the wounded neck.
AHow else am I to live? Tidus just said, although he sounded angry.
ANo, why are you...the beast? Yuna just asked.
AIts not like I wanted to be, Tidus just said, ABut if it makes you feel any better to know, Paines one too.
AWhat? Yuna just said, AWhat about Lulu?
ANah, shes not, but she knows.
AWhy couldnt you tell me? Yuna just cried, in a shaky sort of sob.
AIt doesnt work that way, Tidus said, AI tried telling someone, years ago, but...I just learned that I cant trust anyone now!
AThats why you were never out in the day, Yuna just murmured to herself, AAnd why you were so hesitant to go out unless it was the cloudiest day. And why you couldnt tell me anything about your past...
Suddenly, there was a sound of a door opening, and someone poked a lantern through the door. Yuna felt Tidus hand grab her arm, and he dragged her down the alley.
AWe gotta go somewhere else, he just said, ABesides, now that youre married, you shouldnt be here.
AWhats that supposed to mean? Yuna asked, and suddenly she began to feel frightened again. She slowed down, pulling away from Tidus grasp.
ANow what? Tidus whispered loudly into the night.
AYoure the only thing I had, Yuna just said softly.
AYuna, come on, Tidus said, AWe dont need anymore rumors than there are!
AI cant trust you! Yuna just said, AI cant trust anybody.
ACut the crap, Yuna! Tidus just said, taking her hand in his, AYou can trust me. Ive never lied to you.
Yuna wanted to say that he had, but she couldnt think of a time. Hed never actually lied to her. He hadnt told her anything.
AYouve never told me the truth, either, Yuna just said, stubbornly.
APlease dont be that way, Yuna, Tidus just said, AI promise, come back with me, and we can talk. Alright?
APaine and Lulu wont like it, and neither will Seymour, Yuna just said, but then realized that shed rather be in Tidus company, even if he wasnt necessarily human, than Seymours.
Suddenly, the lump in Yunas throat, that had been there for some time now, gave way, and Yuna flung herself at Tidus, throwing her arms around him, as tears spewed. He seemed shocked at her sudden outburst, but he didnt say anything or show his shock. He just stood there in her embrace, before finally saying, ANow come on.
-
AWhen will you tell me? Yuna asked, putting her cup down. She had been drinking some horrible tasting tea, being that Tidus obviously didnt understand that the tea leaves needed to be soaked, not simply drained.
ATell you what? Tidus just asked, taking another sip of his tea. They were sitting there in the kitchen, sitting at the small table. They hadnt really said much, other than when Yuna commented on the fact that the windows were open, at night, whereas usually they had been closed.
ATell me how you became what you became, Yuna said, AAnd what its like.
AI really dont want to discuss it, Tidus said, giving Yuna an almost interested look from the corner of his eyes, ABesides, Id rather hear about your wedding. Sorry I was unable to attend.
Yuna gave him a disgusted look, and said, AIm really glad you didnt.
AI heard you looked awfully beautiful, Tidus said, leaning back and gazing at her, AAnd I heard that nearly every priest in Spira was there. I heard it was quite the event.
AFrom whom? Yuna just asked, staring into her empty cup.
AFrom Lulu, Tidus said, AShe was there. But in the back. No one would let her in the ceremony. You know, its such a horror, the thought of you being married to Seymour. Its sad, actually.
Yuna shook her head, giving him a confused look, before finally managing to say, AWhy do you say that?
AAbout Seymour? Tidus just asked, and then leaned forward, and said softly, AI say that because hes not a very nice person.
AHow would you know? Yuna just asked.
AHes a sinner, Tidus said, AAnd I know this. I dont even believe in Yevon.
ATidus, Yuna said, looking back up at him, AYou kill people. Youre a sinner...
ANo, Tidus just said, AI am sin. Seymour though, is a sinner. Actually, hes out to kill Yevon.
AWhat? Yuna just said, not believing what she was hearing.
AYeah, hes...not a good guy. Its hard for me to explain. Maybe I can explain it better by talking about your father...
Yunas eyes grew wide. How did he know about her father?
AWhat about my father? Yuna demanded.
Tidus leaned back, and sighed. AYou dont want to know, he just said in a calm, silent voice.
AI do now, Yuna said, leaning across the table and staring imploringly at Tidus, APlease tell me?
AFine, but you dont want to know, Tidus just said, and then he took a deep breath, ABut if you really insist...
AI do! Yuna just said, nodding vigorously.
AFine, Tidus said, ALong ago...Well, Ill start from the beginning. I was born in the city of Zanarkand.
AZanarkand! It was destroyed before the time of Yevon! Yuna exclaimed.
AExactly, I helped destroy it, Tidus said, and suddenly leaned back, his eyes growing soft, as well as moist. Yuna would have pressed further about his words, but it seemed to upset him, greatly.
AAnyway, Tidus just said, after regaining himself, AAs Yevon began to arise, back one thousand years ago, Bevelle began to grow to power. In Zanarkand, we knew nothing of Yevon or any of that kind of stuff. We just lived our lives. Well, my father, whos name was Jecht, knew that something was going on in Bevelle. He knew there would be a war. So, he went to Bevelle and talked with the arising leaders of Yevon. Instead of talking with him, they turned him into an experiment.
AWait a minute, Yuna said, interrupting him, AIm confused...
AIn those years, there were only two cities, Tidus explained, AZanarkand, and Bevelle. We both were completely separate and never bothered with each other. Until the ideas of Yevon began to circulate. People in Zanarkand slowly began to fear that Bevelle would attack, in the name of Yevon. My father was one of these earlier thinkers.
AHow old were you when this happened? Yuna asked. If Tidus had really been around for over a thousand years, she had to know ages.
ASixteen, Tidus said.
ABut youre...so young now! Yuna just burst out.
AExactly, Tidus said, AIm seventeen right now. Ive been seventeen for over a thousand years. When...Well, just let me continue! Anyway, they used my father as an experiment. They wanted to know if there was a way in which one could become their idea of Yu-Yevon, the most purest form of evil. Through experiments, they turned him into a beast. They made him dwell in the dark and suck the lives from others. A vampire he became. How, Im really not sure. The literally turned him into a demon. Then, they portrayed him throughout Bevelle as the demon, Yu-Yevon, the creatures of Zanarkand. Then, they let him loose. He came home, but right away we sensed differences in him. By we, I mean my mother and me. Then, the night he came back, he showed us his new side. His demon side. He killed my mother, and then turned to kill me. Somehow though, it was as if something told him not to kill me. He dug his fangs into my neck, as I almost did to you, and began to suck. It was the worst thing Ive ever been through. However, instead of killing me, he waited until I was so weak I was on the brink of death. I felt everything slow down. It was as if I were dead. The next thing I knew, I awoke myself, only to find that I too, had fangs, and a thirst for blood.
Yuna just sat there, horror-struck. AB-But what does this have to do with my father? Yuna questioned, suddenly not so interested in his life, but how it connected with hers.
AMy father disappeared, and I assumed him to be dead, Tidus said, ABut I swore I would kill him, even if he couldnt be killed. I hated him for what he did to me. If I could, I would go back and make sure that he finished me off. Anyway, years and years and years later, when your father was a young governor, I found myself in Bevelle. I lived much as I do now. I dwelled in the shadows, emerged at night, and made my killings every now and then. I even found work as a grave-digger, burying those who I killed. Priests though, thought that I needed to be taught in the teachings of Yevon. They thought that surely a man who dug graves, especially one as young as I, needed to be taught the lessons of Yevon. That is why I was brought into the temple. And there, I met your father. As well as mine.
AYours was on top of the world, the young, handsome governor. And mine had sunk to the bottom, as Yu-Yevon himself, kept locked away, where hed been for years. I met him at the prison. My father, that is. He was down there, and he looked up at me. It was death itself, my father. He had been there for two hundred years, locked away. I wanted to kill him, but upon seeing him, I realized that he was like me. Death would be too good to him. So I left him.
Yuna was growing confused by Tidus way of telling the story, but at the same time she understood. Her heart felt clenched, as she looked at Tidus face from across the table. He looked almost as if he felt guilty.
AI left him there, Tidus just said, Aalthough he begged me to kill him. Yuna, I know what its like to die. Ive been through it. Its amazing. Then, when youre brought back, all you want is to die again. My father had put me through so much. I couldnt let him escape that easily.
AWhere is he now? Yuna questioned.
AStill there, Tidus just said, his eyes looking faraway, ABut if I ever get the chance to go back, Ill kill him. I wish I had.
Yuna hated to continue to interrupt him, but she had to know about her father, so she prodded him to continue.
AAnyway, Tidus said, AI was a regular throughout the temple, being that I was their main student. I learned fast, being that I knew it all anyway. After all, Id seen the making of Yevon. I knew the ins-and-outs. Everybody thought I was some lost scholar, some lost son of Yevon. Even your father. Thats why I know the things I know.
AYour father was to marry the daughter of the richest man of all of Spira, Tidus continued, ABut he had an affair with another womanByour mother. And from there, came you. He was so ashamed that hed sinned that he married your mother before you were born, so that nobody would know that there had been an affair outside of marriage. The sad part though, was that your mother never wanted the affair. It had been forced.
Yunas stomach did a flip-flop, and she wanted to cry out that it wasnt true. Her father never would have done something like that, and that her mother loved her father! Somehow though, she couldnt.
AYour mother, Tidus went on to continue, AFelt taken-advantage of. She hated you. She hated your father. SheC.
AThats enough! Yuna cried, AHow do you even know?
Tidus just gave a cheeky little smile and said, AI know because your mother was in love with me.
Disgusted, Yuna felt herself sit back down.
AHa, I never had an affair with her or anything! Tidus said, as he noticed Yunas disgust, ABecause I didnt love her. But I felt sorry for her. I felt sorry for all of the Al Bhed. They reminded me of myself. Outcasts.
AWhat I mean to say though, Yuna, is that all politicians, priests, people like that, arent people who can be trusted. I havent quite figured out what theyre after, but I know Seymours no different. They all have secretsBhidden things theyve done, or plan on doing.
AThen whats Seymours? Yuna asked.
AIm not sure, Tidus said, ABut I know hes up to something. Thats why I want you to be careful. I know youre part of his plan. Basically, I just wanted to tell you that things could get messy. And I want you to know that you can trust me. Thats all.
AAll that just for that? Yuna just said, shaking her head, AI need to go.
AYeah, you do, Tidus just said, nodding, ABut Yuna, do you see why I couldnt fall in love with you now? I leave every two or three years. People catch on that Im not aging. I dont want to end up like my father. And...Someday, youll be old, and Ill still be young. Thats why we cant be together.
AI understand, Yuna just said, ABut I still love you.
AIll always love you, Tidus just said, and then seemed to reconsider, as if wondering if hed said the right things, ASo thats why you have to trust me.
AAlright, Yuna just said, giving him a meek smile, AGoodnight.
AGoodnight Yuna, and take care. Be on the watch.
AFor what?
AFor anything. Bye now.
Yuna didnt get the chance to say bye, for Tidus had already led her to the door, and shut it, right as he said his own goodbye. Sighing, she simply turned around, and headed back through the night, to Seymours house.