Sadly....twenty nine chapters in and I still only own Tara.
OMG....Nearly 100 reviews! I am so grateful. Please continue to R&R.
Author's note: This chapter went in a direction I had not originally intended. But who am I to fight it? Also....Miss Kitten pointed out that I must be a fan of classy romance movies....she is so right! I think I get down right cheesy sometimes....but again....who am I to fight it?
Chapter 29: Chicago
So here I am sitting on Jack's bed and in the 10 minutes I have been here I have gone from pissed to….livid. Why would Jack not tell me he got an offer from an NHL team? How could he not tell me? My head is spinning. I have never been this angry at anyone in my life! I am going to kill him!
"Hey, my mom said you were asleep."
I look up from the floor and see Jack and he is just standing there! He has no idea that I found out. If I could shoot fire out of my eyes….right now….I would do.
"Hey….Are you ok?"
"Am I ok?....AM I OK?....When were you going to tell me? Were you ever going to tell me? I can't believe you kept this from me!"
"Whoa!....slow down….what are you talking about? What didn't I tell you?"
"What am I talking about? You got an offer from the Black Hawks! The National Hockey League's Chicago Black Hawks! That is what you didn't tell me! Why?....GOD!....I feel like we have had this conversation a hundred times. We are supposed to be a team. A team makes decisions together. This is the type of thing we should talk about….TOGETHER! If you want me to be part of your life than you have to include me in on yours."
For what seems like an eternity the room is utterly silent. At some point in my tirade I got up from the bed and began to pace around the room. Jack on the other hand has not moved an inch and is staring down at his shoes. This, for some reason, only makes me more incensed.
"Well….what do you have to say for yourself?....Do you have anything to say? JACK! Answer me!"
"What do you want me to say? Yes, I got an offer from Chicago. And yes I turned it down without talking to you first!"
"WHY! I want to know why!"
"I don't know!"
"You don't know! You don't know! What kind of answer is that?"
"It is the truth. Look at the time it seemed like the right thing to do."
"When did lying ever become the right thing to do?"
Jack looks at me and lets out a small smile….more like a smirk. I know what he is getting at.
"Don't answer that….and don't look at me like that….I am mad at you."
"That much I have figured out."
"Yeah well I can not be mad at you when you look at me like that."
"How am I looking at you?"
"All cute and sorry…..so stop….This is serious Jack….relationships are built on trust and right now I don't know if I can trust you."
Jack walks over to where I am standing and lifts my head to meet his eyes.
"You can trust me with your life."
"I want to believe you and a half an hour ago I would have said that I do believe you….but then your mom brought up the Black Hawks and…."
"Leave it to my mom….she has always had a big mouth."
"Don't turn this around on your mother. She just assumed I already knew….that we made the decision together…. I wonder what made her think that?"
Again there is silence.
"Jack please just talk to me. I promise that I will stop yelling. I don't want to be mad at you. I just want to understand. You must have had some reason for not telling me. I need for you to tell me why. Please."
My anger has now given way to sadness and I am now crying.
"I really messed up. You gotta believe me when I say I am so sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing."
"How could giving up your dream ever be for the best?"
"When my mom told me about the offer I was thrilled. The NHL. I never really thought it was a possibility. You know as well as I do that very few Americans get the opportunity to play at that level. The first person I wanted to tell was you. I knew you would be just as excited."
"I would have been."
"I know….but then….Tara….this wasn't an offer to go directly onto the Black Hawks…."
"They never are."
"So then you know what the offer meant. I would play on the farm team for god knows how long and there would be no guarantee that I would ever get brought up."
"That is how it always works. You could have told me….I would've understood….you were scared about not making it."
"It wasn't just that….farm team means traveling…a lot."
"Any hockey team travels."
"Yeah but the farm team travels more and it takes longer….they don't fly."
"You are acting like I don't know all of this."
"I know you know."
"So then what was the problem? Were you scared I would ask you to say no?"
"No….I knew for a fact that you would tell me to do it."
"Jack I am really confused. I still don't understand."
"I knew you would tell me to do it. I knew you understood what it would entail. We had already decided that we were moving to Wisconsin. You were leaving your home to be with me. But at least I would be home every night. If I took this chance I would be gone for weeks at a time. How can we start a marriage….our life together….if I was never home? And where would home be?"
"Jack you are my home. We would have figured it out. We could've postponed the wedding…."
"I don't want to postpone the wedding. If I could marry you tomorrow I would."
"Well then we would have made it work."
"See….I knew you would react this way…."
"What way?"
"All understanding and accommodating."
"What….you want me to tell you no?"
"I can't ask you to sacrifice anything else for me. You have given up so much already."
"That is where you are wrong. What have I given up? My family is still my family and they love me. My apartment in Minnesota isn't that great. And I quit my job before I even met you."
"You are going to move away from everybody and everything you have ever known, just because I got a job."
"But I want to do that and I would be willing to do this….if this is what you want."
"Why?"
"Because I love you and we are a team. I can find a job anywhere….even in Chicago."
"But Illinois is even farther away from Minnesota than Wisconsin is."
"So what? You know there is this little invention known as a plane. It makes long car trips shorter….plus if you are going to be gone a lot I can always go and visit the family or they can come to me."
"I don't want you to ever regret this or hate me."
"I would never….this is a choice we made together….ok?"
Jack nods his head.
"So does that mean you are going to call the Black Hawks?"
"We are going to do this?"
"Yes….WE are going to do this."
"I will call the Black Hawks in the morning."
I hug Jack. I am so excited for him….for us.
"Baby, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't want you to ever doubt that. Do you believe me?"
Jack looks into my eyes….I can see how sorry he is.
"Yes….but you better never do that again. The only way we are going to work is if we are honest with each other. We can not keep things from each other. It is a two way street. I tell you….you tell me….ok?"
"Ok….can we go to sleep now? I am exhausted."
"I know the feeling….it is definitely after bedtime….Jackie."
"I thought I told you to stop calling me that."
"I know….I'm sorry….but after tonight you deserved it."
"Are you going to call me that every time you are mad at me?"
"I don't know….maybe."
"Maybe I need to rethink this whole marriage thing."
I playfully slap him and we both start to laugh.
"You are stuck with me."
"I wouldn't want it any other way."
We laugh and kiss. As I fall asleep I wonder….do you pronounce Illinois with or without the "s"? Hey….at least I'm not angry anymore.