Summary: Everything Michael has hidden from Sara has begun to cause so much pain between them. How much does Sara mean to him and how far will he go not to loose her.

Disclaimer: Don't own em', no profits made from it…

Author's Note: I was gonna have a scene about Michael explaining the whole visit from the wife but I figured with a couple of episodes left before the 'break out' Officer Bellick would start some stuff at the prison with that. So basically for this story to work I have concluded that Sara knows about the marriage being a cover for Nika to get into the country but she's still mad at him for all of the lies and secrets. So if everyone plays along with that theory this should be smooth sailing…


Paradoxical


(the night before the escape)

She couldn't sleep. Thoughts of Michael Scofield had brightened her mind from the darkness of sleep. After hours of tossing and turning she finally gave up trying. Deciding some sleeping pills would help her clear her mind for the night. After all, she needed her sleep with a job as risky as hers she couldn't afford to slip up.

Taking a modest two tablets she swallowed them with a glass of water and returned to her bed hoping they would kick in before she became too captivated yet again by Michael.

As her mind began to slow down she thought back to the moment she approached him at the fence a couple of days ago. She had wanted to end whatever they had started right then and there but what he had said as she walked away still lingered with her.

He told her it wasn't what it seemed, but she hadn't been convinced. It wasn't until she overheard Officer Bellick talking about seeing Michael's wife at a club and finding out about the marriage being her ticket into the country that she realized he was right, it wasn't what it seemed.

Almost a month ago she had never encountered a prisoner like him, hell she'd never met anyone like him before. Michael was absurd, this whole connection between them was absurd, hell even she was absurd for getting drawn into this 'relationship' with him. A smile formed on her lips as she thought of the past few weeks. It wasn't long before the pills began to take affect. Soon she was consumed into a dark, dreamless slumber.

…….

(the day of the escape)

Tonight was the night, the escape. As the tension of tonight's event began building in him, he couldn't help but think of the one thing that went totally wrong here at Fox River. And once they would escape there was no way he could make it better. Dr. Sara Tancredi.

Never before had he been so affected by a woman. No one could read him like her and no one could read her like him, but his secrets had kept it from becoming something more. Not to mention he was a convict and she was a doctor treating him and now he was gonna leave her. He couldn't let it end so bitterly, he needed it to end right. He needed to take advantage of their last visit.

……..

Walking into the infirmary Michael offered her a smile. Ignoring his entrance and his charm, she remained occupied in her paperwork. Slowly Michael walked to the table and quickly Sara's impatience became evident.

"You know the drill," she said coldly, looking up but never catching his eye.

Taking a seat, Michael could feel the tension in the air so thick it could be cut with a knife. "Sorry," he began, rolling up his sleeve, "I wanted to make sure it was safe," he finished, his eyes waiting for her reaction. A frown is all he got.

Refusing to respond she kept her eyes locked on the task at hand, wanting to get this done and over with as quickly as possible.

Dropping his head, Michael felt a pang of guilt fill his insides. He hurt her, bad. Perhaps when his plan first started he could pretend he didn't care about the feelings of the people he would use, but now after spending everyday with Dr. Sara Tancredi he found himself wishing she had never been involved. Thinking that this whole situation would have been so much easier if he could have saved Sara from being hurt.

As the silence continued the best part of his day soon became the worst part. Nothing had been said and the little prick of the needle was injected with a little less care than usual.

Finished, Sara disposed the needle and removed her gloves. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow Mr. Scofield," she said, starting to get up from her seat.

In that instant Michael knew he had to stop her, if not now then never. Gently he took hold of her arm. Her eyes darted at his daring hand then moved up to his face. Her glare forcing Michael to look down, momentarily.

As his eyes return to hers, he stops her before she can protest. "Sara please, I have answers." Repeating what he had said to her a few days ago when she turned whatever relationship that had started to develop into a professional doctor/patient relationship.

Sara does not move forward nor back, instead she eyes him skeptically as she pulls her arm back and responds, cynically, "the last time I got an answer was the P. I. assignment. Michael, I don't want anymore lies. Let's just keep what's left of this professional."

Michael looks down, disappointed, yet understanding of her reaction. 'How can he make this right?'

Still standing, she looks for his hypnotizing eyes as he stares at the floor. The wait continued until he looked up at her. His eyes masking something deep within and Sara began to think this was a mistake. She would never get through to him. He had been her bearer of hope. He was the one she would get through to and prove to all of the people that had doubted her.

His response took her by surprise. "My brother is being executed for a crime he didn't commit. I cannot allow him to die for another's crime," he replied.

Returning to her chair she searched his eyes. Only now had she finally put together everything; everything she found, everything he had said, and everything she had assumed. His background, his job, his mental genius, him and his brother at the same prison at the same time; everything became clear. "You're going to break him out, aren't you?" she asked in a hush tone.

He merely nodded. Eyes wide, she brought her hand to cover her gaping mouth. "Michael, you can't. If you get caught…" she stopped not knowing or not wanting to know the consequences of his decision.

Taking her hands in his, he holds onto her as she slowly gets a hold of herself. It seemed like forever before she spoke again. After having heard her question he had preferred the uncomfortable silence. "Was I a pawn in your escape?" she asked so quietly he barely heard her.

He knew lying to her now would be his biggest mistake. Somehow he had to tell her the truth, but would she believe his feelings for her after she learned the truth?

Taking a breath Michael lifted her chin, he wanted their eyes to be level. He knew she could read him, he just hoped she wasn't too far away to see.

"When this plan started I thought it would be simple. In and out. No gray, just black and white. But as I became more involved, my plans were overcome by those around me. I thought no one would affect me, but I was wrong. I have found friendship from the unexpected, trust from the most unlikely, and something I can only imagine being love from someone I was suppose to charm." He paused letting her take in what he had just said.

Her eyes began to water, she knew the rest of his answer but felt his pain as well as her own. She was surprised to see his own eyes water as he continued.

"Yes, you were a pawn in my plan, but as each day went by it became harder to see past the fence because I want to stay inside the fence, inside the danger, just so I can see you everyday. Sara, I can't go through with this, not without you." He moved a strand of hair behind her ear and touched her cheek tenderly.

Choking back her emotion a single tear fell before she could stop it. Michael had planned all of this, had turned his life upside down to save his brother and now he was leaving the final move up to her. She couldn't let him suffer in here when he should not have been here in the first place. He had to go through with it.

Finding her voice she gave him the answer that both needed to hear before they departed their separate ways. "Go."

Michael looked at her, astonished. He was surprised by her answer, yet he wasn't. "There's more at stake here than you and me," she added.

Stroking her cheek he smiled. Slowly they began inching their way towards the other, when footsteps behind them stopped their advancements. It was the nurse about to inform Sara of her next appointment.

Quickly they separated and Michael stood. As he began to leave he took one last look behind him. Sara sat, unable to move. All she could do was watch as he left. Both turned away simultaneously and their realities came flying back to them.

He was gone and she was now alone with her thoughts. She should tell Pope, she should warn the guards, she should do something to try and stop him, but she couldn't. No, despite the black and white system, letting him escape was the right thing to do.

Smiling to herself, she returned her attention to the patient that was entering the room. 'All of this trouble for a con,' she mused to herself. To anyone else it would have been illogical.

…………

It had been almost a month since the escape and now everything was beginning to settle down. Her routine had returned back to normal, but now all she could think about was Michael. Where he was, how he was doing, if he'd ever come back. Practically everyday was filled with thoughts of Michael and she could only hope he was doing okay wherever he was.

It was a little early to leave for work, but she decided today would be a productive day. She headed over for a cup of coffee, like she had everyday since the prison break. Entering the small coffee shop she was surprised to see the long line up and was about to turn and leave when someone at a nearby table caught her attention. A pair of sunglasses covered his eyes and a goatee disguised him for the most part, but she could tell who it was. "Michael," she said in awe.

She watched as he took off his sunglasses, confirming her discovery, and walked towards her. Now standing in front of her he smiled, "how about a cup of coffee?" he asked. A smile formed and she thought back to when he first asked her that inside the infirmary. Now she was able to agree. Ironic.


fin