Nope...nada...nothing

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Chapter 36: Reunions Part Three: Farewells

The next time the whole team gets together I am again crying. However, this time it is not so perfect….but it is overwhelming. My dad died this week. They think he had a heart attack when he was driving home. He wasn't even sick. I keep thinking it would have been easier if he had been sick….it would have given us warning….somehow soften the blow….how stupid is that? Like anything can soften the blow of losing a parent.

Calling the team was some of the hardest phone calls I ever had to make. Jack had offered to do it for me, but I felt like it was my job. I was the team manager….I make the phone calls and the travel arrangement….that is what my dad hired me to do.

By the end of the first day I had called the entire team and set up flight arrangement for them, their families and my own….nothing like keeping busy in order to forget. The whole day seems like a dream….a nightmare. None of it seemed real until right now. I am sitting here in the church….Jack's arm's securely around me….staring at my father's coffin. I look around the church and I can see the team….all of them in suits which at any other time I would find funny because these guys hate anything they can't play hockey in. But here they all are, with their families….and they are crying just as much as me. In a lot of ways my dad was like a father to them. Buzzy looks over at me….his son is sitting next to him and oh my god he looks just like him….I give him a slight smile….just to let him know that I know how he feels….he gets it and turns back. I can feel Jack squeeze me a little bit harder….he pulls me into his chest and whispers into my hair.

"I love you."

I relax into his arms and stay there for the rest of the day.

After the burial my mother….much to my surprise….invited the team back to the house. At first we all just sat around and tried to act normal. We all talked about our kids, or work, but after a while the conversation inevitably turned to hockey and from there it led to my dad. However, it wasn't sad. We laughed as we talked about the herbies and the whistle. We reminisced about that Christmas and dad's old suits. After a while my mom got up and went into the kitchen. The guys were so wrapped up in the stories of their youth that they didn't even notice….but I did. I got up and followed her.

"Mom, are you ok? Do you want me to ask them to leave?"

"No. I like having them here."

"Most of them aren't leaving Minnesota for a few days, I'm sure they would understand."

"Honey, it is really ok. All their stories, the laughter….it makes it feel like your father is here….this house has been so empty the last couple of days…."

My mom just started to cry and found myself hugging her. We stayed like that until my mom pulled away.

"I guess now is as good a time as any."

"Time for what, mom?"

"I want to give you something….stay here."

I nodded as my mom headed up the stairs. She came down a few minutes later holding a box….a very familiar box.

"Your dad would want you to have this."

"Mom…I can't…I don't want…."

"Shh….you earned this too and just because the Olympic committee didn't see fit to give you one doesn't change the fact that you worked just as hard."

"But Dad wanted that medal so much….plus we have Jack's in the house…."

"Yes your dad did want this badly….but what is he going to do with it now?"

At that we both laughed.

"Look honey, I am probably not going to be staying in this house much longer….it is too big and honestly it has too many memories….I wouldn't know what to do with this….besides you already have a one displayed….why not two?"

I just smiled at my mom and took the box.

"Let's just say I have it for safe keeping."