disclaimer; i do not own YuYu Hakusho. although someday i hope to own something that's a tenth as cool as it is. and i do not own this song. the ever talented Billy Talent does. this story is following a baisic line of the music video. but it is tied very loosely, so i own the story.

THESE ARE: BILLY TALENT LYRICS

"Nothing To Lose"

i cried. the tears that spilled from my eyes could match any that yukina cried. if you replaced the valuable gems with icey hate and bitter disgust. i'd joined keiko and yusuke at school once a year ago. i never really left the school after. it seemed like an amazing place to be, but like in most cases i was wrong. oh so wrong. i joined the school as a student the day after my first visit. that was the first of my many mistakes. no wait, scratch that it was the second mistake.

Need more friends with wings

All the angels I know Put concrete in my veins

I'd always walk home alone

So I became lifeless Just like my telephone

i was the instant target for yusuke's enamies, kurama's fan club and kuwabara's other rivals. they treated me like they would a sister, i should have never allowed it. but i did, and as a result they hate me. one determined enemie was all it took for them to leave. soyuko. that bastard, he would pick on me everyday and pretend to be best friends with the others. they had succumbed to his charm, but i didn't trust him. thus began our fight, leaving me an open target. how i hated soyuko right then.

There's nothing to lose

When no one knows your name

There's nothing to gain

But the days don't seem to change

not one single person in the school could remember my name, not even my old friends. soyuko had made sure of that. if i had been naive enough i would have sworn he was a demon. but no demon lives with pure human blood and soul within him. by the fourth month at school they were beyond taunting and teasing. i was pushed around in the hallways, shoved into lockers and tripped down flights of stairs. I would hide the bruises they caused, not that any one would have cared had they seen them. i was just in the way too much. how they hated me so i'll never know. it was just one of those 'at first sight' deals i guess. sometimes i'd wished it to be a love at first sight, not hate at first sight. but if it had been, i'd never have learned the humans true nature.

Never played truth or dare

I'd have to check my mirror To see if I'm still here

My parents had no clue

That I ate all my lunches Alone in the bathroom

i was born human at some point, but it hardly counted. i didn't live long, i died under the pretense that everything was good and pure. even if it was by murder. i was walking down the hall, this was just yesterday, clutching a black book to my chest. in it was the perfect plan. i didn't have to stay here. i could just make my way to rekai, and maybe ask koenma for another shot at a different life. i had lost all contact with any demons other than kurama since i had run away from reikai. you thought i'd been kicked out right? well not exactly. koenma was cheating on me for a long time. but he never wanted me to leave. he liked to have his cake and eat it to, if you catch what i mean. but i ran away. and that was why i'd come to school with yusuke and keiko.

There's nothing to lose

When no one knows your name

There's nothing to gain

But the days don't seem to change

There's nothing to lose

My notebook will explain

There's nothing to gain And I can't fight the pain

keiko. my heart wretched in pain. i had witnesed soyuko murder her. we were out having coffee, i left for the bathroom and returned to see soyuko snapping her neck. he caught me watching and threatened me. "if you ever tell any one i'll kill you slowly. i'll send you to hell in pieces." from that very moment i had died inside. i had never know a moment of depression before in my life. it was so horrible. it was like swelling waters, i was drowning from the inside out. no, scratch that. i AM drowning from the inside out. i am still walking down this hall. what you see is my diary pages. i plan on shoving this in yusuke's mouth when i have died. i know my spirit will have enough energy for that. i just pray the spell of soyuko's charm will vanish with my life.

Teachers said "it's just a phase"

When I grow up my children Will probably do the same

Kids just love to tease

Who'd know it put me underground At seventeen

funny isn't it? when i died the first time i was barely five. only twelve years of life added upon that. if i knew then what i know now id've killed koenma for giving back my life. it was a gift, a gift to celebrate nearly a thousand years of faithful, reliable service. i just passed the science lab, there they are. yusuke, kurama, kuwabara and soyuko, they have something behind their backs and they're smirking at me. i am not afraid. i can see the shiney metal. i can see the green sparkle on the metal. poisoned knives. brutal, but my death had to be special so i will keep walking. only twenty feet between myself and the mechanics room.

There's nothing to lose

When no one knows your name

There's nothing to gain

But the days don't seem to change

i hear footsteps, and i know it's them. but i will keep walking. you must know more before i complete this. soyuko is the closest to pure evil i have ever seen, he may not be a demon but he has the heart of one. you will remember some day that evil is murder, and murder is wrong, wrong will remind you of keiko, who you forgot about so long ago. i am completely disgusted with the acts of a human heart out of spite and vengence. just a few more steps, something just collided with my head! is, is that my blood? it's pooling on the floor, but i have to do this my way! i'm going to just keep walking. soyuko is giving me a hungry stare, it swam with blood lust. perhaps i was wrong. maybe he truely is a demon.

There's nothing to lose

My notebook will explain

There's nothing to gain

And I can't fight the pain

it doesn't really matter much though. yusuke will kill him when his mind is free. another knife, similar to the one lodged in my head, was just thrown into my side. the first one had been kuwabara's, this one was kurama's. i opened the shop door before me, and i walked in. the last two knives found their way into my shoulders. yusuke on the right, and soyuko on the left. how befitting that he threw one to pierce my heart. i can still feel my tears as they poor openly mixing with the blood on my face. i stepped over to the car and i readied it so i may die from its very fumes. i wasn't worried about who owned it. i couldn't care if soyuko had to enter it knowing it housed my death. i am sure he would enjoy it so much.

There's nothing to lose

When no one knows your name

There's nothing to gain

But the days don't seem to change

it may be the poison in my brain, but this feels so pleasent. the fumes are like the smell of autumn. my death will be swift. i don't clearly remember what happened. one moment i was taking deep breaths of the fumes and the next some one was pulling at the car door. by the time it was opened i was close to unconciousness. the blades were pulled from my body, out of feigned hope and dellusion i believed they'd stay out. but it was just that, dellusional hope. i felt them re enter all in the same place. that didn't do it. i was still breathing. my battered and literally shredded heart was still beating. they had to shred my body beyond the point of recognition, and i rolled over, pushing the last blade in myself with the cold hard ground.

There's nothing to lose

When no one knows your name

There's nothing to gain

And I just died today

i am floating above my body and i prepare to shove the book into yusuke's mouth, as i had planned. but i heard soyuko speaking. "good job urameshi. your plan has worked. the women are out of your life. and they do not know of your betreyal to them." i faultered and saw ayame, the ferry girl who'd stolen half of koenma's love, come for me. "it is time." she said. but shook my head, "no. i need to listen longer. i need to know why!" she frowned and scowled, obviously displeased but she allowed me to linger. kuwabara looked at me and nudged yusuke. they glared at me, "why?", they refused to answer my simple question. so i allowed ayame to pull me out of the room, before i was out of earshot i heard them mumble, "because humanity is evil. and you needed to see that." the next tear to fall froze from the evil in my presence. figures. koenma started this. and she'd be sure to end it.

yo and hello readers and reviewers. i am new to YuYu Hakusho fanfiction. please don't think anything bad about my first fic, albeit a song fic, possing yusuke, kuwabara, kurama and the others evil. i spent a while researching them before i even wrote this. i have attempted a couple happier plot lined stories concerning botan and hiei, and perhaps i will post them. you can flame my work if you so wish, i understand that not everyone will like my sadistic way of writing. that's not to say i feel happy when i write this kind of thing, i am simply just better when it comes to descriptions such as these. soyuko is my own character. i am not aware if anyone on the show, good or bad has that name.