Hi everyone! First of all, thank you so much for your patience with me. I know I haven't been updating often enough, and I promise I'll try my best to update more frequently. First few weeks of school doesn't give much homework so hopefully I can get a few chapters done. Thanks a lot and I hope you continue to support my story. This story is going faster than I had first planned it to, hopefully everything will turn out to shape, so without further ado, time for the story to begin.

Summery: She grew up living life. He grew up shunned from it. He let his walls grow stronger. She broke it with one smile. Their powers made them different, but drew them together. Fate tore them apart, it's up to them to complete their destiny: to be together SS
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Review of last chapter

His eyes strayed to the envelope on the table that was laid down ever so gently. Ripping it opened, his eyes scanned through the letter. Wet drops indicated that whoever wrote this, was crying. His hands automatically scrunched it up and ripped it into pieces, throwing them on the floor. The tiny, ripped pieces slowly fell onto the floor along with it, the remaining pieces of his heart.
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Chapter 11: Life without you.
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To say that Sakura's disappearance had little affect on the Li family was an understatement. For the first time in so long, Li Syaoran had once again returned to his old state. He had dedicated himself solely in his work, only leaving his office for washrooms, meetings with Eriol and dinner, sometimes not even that.

For him, keeping himself occupied was the only thing he could do that would keep his mind off other topics, or to say more specifically, off a certain person. During the morning, he would wake up earlier than anyone else and shut himself in his office. At night, he would be the last to leave the lower floor, or he wouldn't leave at all and would pull an all night.

For the umpteenth time in a row, Syaoran angrily threw a crumpled piece of paper onto the floor, his amber hair swaying in front of his tired eyes, not sleeping for almost 2 days. He almost felt claustrophobic, with only the 4 walls as his company and dull coloured pictures as his acquaintances. The papers and pens on his desk became messier and messier and a thin layer of dust was found everywhere as everyday went by. Countless time he had decided to hire an extra maid, but as that thought drifted through his head, his heart twanged in pain, the hollow space in his heart sent pains and chills.

"Damn it! Why won't this work?" he cursed, grabbing a new sheet of paper once again. His hands flew over the blank paper, which was soon covered with roughly drew diagrams and angry marks by rough erasers. His mind just wouldn't concentrate. At 6:30 in the morning, his mind seemed to have automatically shut off itself, with or without his consent. Glancing at his empty cup, his frustration grew bigger. Normally, he would have a hot cup of tea here. It would always be filled to the brim with warm brown liquid, delicate leaves lying peacefully beneath the liquid. It was always there, and Sakura would always have fresh ones now and then…Sakura… He shut his eyes tightly. His mind was playing tricks on him. He wasn't supposed to be like this, he wasn't suppose to grieve over one singly nanny when 14 before her had left. He wasn't supposed to have feelings.

"What did she do to me…"

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Chiharu was the first to be awake this morning. Her flaming red hair tied behind her head, she placed on her black gown. Looking at the bed beside her, a tiny figure was just visible beneath the white cotton sheets. She sighed. Last night, Sakura had appeared at the door of the church, she looked tired, worn out, her eyes puffy red as though she had been crying. Chiharu had wanted to ask what had happened, but seeing the young woman's crestfallen face, thought better of it.

Silently closing the door behind her, her tiny feet tapped against the stone floor as she quickly walked up the flight of stairs towards Daisy's room. Knocking on it gently, she heard a weak "come in" and entered.

"Daisy," She said gently, "How are you this morning?" Daisy looked at her with those gentle brown eyes of hers, the wrinkles around her eyes more visible than ever.

"I'm as good as any old woman can get, my dear." Daisy heaved in a raspy voice, "I must say I can't get up as early as I could have when I was younger." Chiharu nodded, settling herself on the brown wood chair in front of the table.

"Daisy, we had a visitor last night…"Chiharu began, searching for any thing that showed up on the wrinkled face. "Sakura… she came back." Daisy's mouth fell open slightly.

"She has? Did we not send her to the Li residence? Has she come back because she was unable to handle them?" Daisy asked. Chiharu shook her head.

"I'm not sure. She came late last night, almost around 1 o'clock in the morning. Poor girl looked so exhausted. Her eyes were red, as though she had been crying. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but seeing her face, I couldn't." she explained. Daisy sighed, rubbing her temple with her thin hand. She closed her eyes. She had feared this would have happened, just not so soon, and not this badly.

"I see. Bring her to me once she is awake; tell her I need to talk to her."

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She didn't know what happened last night, nor did she think she wanted to know. All she knew was that the moment she had woken up, Sakura had not been there, like she had been all those mornings before. Tying up her chestnut hair strands of her red highlights lay visible beneath the light. Alana skipped down the stairs, expecting to see her emerald eyes shining with happy twinkles and her face lighting up seeing her come down the stairs. She expected to see her bustling around the kitchen where thick aromas of breakfast hung around. Beaming, she bounded into the kitchen.

"Hi Sakura!" Alana greeted happily, facing the young woman in a white t shirt and jeans. Turning around, Gwen's face replaced what she thought was Sakura's. Her smile was immediately washed off with a frown. Crossing her arms across her chest, she said stubbornly, "What are you doing here?"

Gwen's blue eyes gleamed triumphantly at the 14 year old in front of her.

"Good morning Alana." She said cheerfully, glancing at her arms where 10 names were hastily scribbled, "I'm cooking today, thought I should make something for Xiao Lang since he hadn't the time. Would you like some?" Alana rolled her eyes,

"What? And eat something that might kill me? No thanks, I'm in shock to see the kitchen still in pieces." She retorted coldly. Gwen pushed down the anger that instinctively threatened to rise. No, she wouldn't be angry; she will prove she was as good as that other person.

"I'll take that as a no. Behave today Alana, your father is busy, and you won't want him to turn angry against you, do you?" Gwen stated innocently but Alana could see the malice in her voice, she could see the real statement between the lines.

"Don't get too comfortable here. You won't be here for long." Alana said, walking towards the sink beside Gwen. "Father may not see it but I do, and so does the others. And believe me, if we're anything like our mother and father, Sakura shouldn't be the one you're frightened of." She smirked, her cool, calculating amber eyes burning with coldness.

"Why you…" Gwen started, but it was soon drowned by cold water-literally. She shrieked as the cold liquid seeped into her shirt and touched her skin underneath. She could feel the water run down her body, sending chills that racked her frame, her blond hair hanging wetly against her face. Her eyes screamed at Alana, who had an angry smirk on her face, her hands wet from directing the cold water at her.

"Oh whoops. Did I do that?" she exclaimed gleefully, skipping out of the room. "Watch out, because this is just the beginning."

Happily skipping out of the kitchen, the joy and satisfaction she had felt before soon ebbed away, worry replacing its place. Where was Sakura? It wasn't like her to just skip work just like that, not without telling them first especially not when she knew that Gwen was still here. Knocking at the first door she seen, she quickly opened it to see her oldest brother's body underneath the covers. Shaking him violently, his drowsy voice said,

"No, I don't want that kind… I want apple…" followed by a huge snore. Alana barely had time to register what he just said, nor did she find the urge to want to.

"Xiao Chen you lazy pig wake up!" she called, shaking her brother's body again.

"Apple…" he snored again. Getting frustrated, she cleared her voice and made sure the door the close. Taking a deep breath, she decided on a plan.

"LI XIAO CHEN! She screamed loudly into her brother's ears. Shooting up, Xiao Chen's dark chestnut hair flew wildly around him, his hazelnut eyes wide like saucers.

"Huh? What? What's going on? Is there a fight?" he said disoriented. His eyes landed on his sister and groaned, falling back onto his bed again. "Ugh… Alana, do you know what time it is? You could've killed my ears." He groaned, preparing himself to sleep again.

"Yes I know what time it is, time for you to wake up. Don't you dare sleep again, this is important." Alana told him, pushing him off his bed.

"I really want to know what your definition of 'important' is Ally." He said, using one of her many nick names, "because the last time you said something was important, it involved a thunder storm, and trying to escape from bruising your ego." (A few chapter back, when Sakura had first came, the kids were all in her room because they were afraid of the thunder storm) Alana blushed but quickly wiped it off.

"Don't get off topic. And it wasn't my fault, unlike you I'm 14." She defended,

"And pretty much a teenager." Xiao Chen teased. Alana pouted, muttering something about him getting the humour from their father.

"Xiao? What's going on?" Carina's sleepy voice came from the closed door. Running, Alana swung the door open, dragging her oldest sister in. "Alana, what's going on?"

"I'm trying to get Xiao Chen to shut up and let me talk!" Alana said annoyed, shooting Xiao Chen an accusing glare.

"I'm as clueless as you are Car." Xiao Chen stated, "And I'm not the only one who isn't awake. Why am I the first for you to come?"

"Because you're room was closer." Alana shrugged; Xiao Chen rolled his eyes

"Jeez thanks you really make me feel special." He mocked. Alana stuck her tongue out at him. "Jeez Als, you're so grown up." He said sarcastically, sticking his tongue out at her in return.

"Yea, maybe we should take your 16 years and leave it just at 6." She shot back. Carina held up her hand to stop the battle that was bound to begin.

"All right you two. Stop it. Ally, you can't go stomping into Xiao Chen's room like this." Carina told her. Alana crossed her arms.

"But this really IS important! Sakura isn't here." Alana explained. Xiao Chen sighed,

"One day I've got to check the dictionary for the description for 'important'." Xiao Chen said, "Alana, she's probably out somewhere to buy stuff."

"No! But I checked her room-and don't you start with me about people's privacy Carina." Alana added, seeing that her sister was about to, "and all her clothes are gone."

"Come on Alana, there's got to be a logical explanation for this. You're probably making this a bigger deal than it is. She probably told father she was going to her church because she missed her friends, and she'll be back at the end of the day." Carina reasoned.

Alana shook her head, not wanting to believe what her sister had said.

"No, I'm sure it isn't it. Can we please just go to the church? If you are right-only IF- then we should go see her. She must've gone there because of some reason." Alana bargained. Xiao Chen groaned, running his hands through his messy hair, getting out of bed.

"Might as well Car, or we'll never get a moment's peace." He muttered as he passed her to go to the washroom.

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After spending another half an hour to get the rest of the others up, they dressed and tiptoed down the stairs. Ying and Hitomi were both complaining how they were tired after playing all night last night and why they couldn't just stay at home. Alana raised her hand to stop the group from moving. Boldly, she knocked on the door of her father's office, getting a tired "come in". Walking in, she was in shock at how messy her father's room was. She had never thought of him as messy. He was always neat and organized. Her father's amber eyes surveyed her and she quickly looked up.

"You're up early, Alana." Syaoran said, seeing his daughter dressed as if ready to go out. Alana nodded.

"Morning Father." Alana said politely. Deciding it wasn't a good idea to tell him they were going to go see Sakura, she opted for another option, "Father, I was wondering. Since it's such a good weather outside, if maybe we, saying Carina and the others and I, could go berry picking. We could have Daniel (the chauffeur) drive us." Alana said very quickly, her fingers crossed behind her back.

"Go berry picking? Isn't it a bit late for that now? It's almost fall." Syaoran said. Alana mentally slapped herself for forgetting her seasons,

"I mean apple picking. It's best at this season, it's really ripe and it smells great and it'll be real juicy." Alana blurted out the first thing she could think of. She felt waves of relief seeing her father's suspicion in his eyes start to disappear.

"All right, don't be out too late, and make sure to be back by dinner at 6." Syaoran told her. Alana nodded, kissing her father's cheeks lightly; she closed the door, sighing in relief. Her eyes landed on her anxious siblings,

"It's all right. We can go." She assured them.

"It's not that easy…" Tenchi started

"The chauffeur we wanted to drive us…" Yang continued,

"Is on break today." Kari finished their sentence. Sora and Alex winced,

"I really wish they would stop doing that, finish each other's sentence." Sora whispered to her younger brother. Alex nodded his head in agreement. Alana cursed her dumb luck. Raking her brain, her smirk landed on Carina.

"Hey Cary, you know how you always wanted to drive the limo?" she threw her the keys, "it's your lucky day."

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Xiao Chen (up front), Alana, Tenchi, Kari, Yang, Sora, Alex, Ying and Hitomi were all holding onto the side of the cars for their life. Alana had no idea what came over her when she had handed over the car keys to her eldest sister.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" Carina's voice came from the front, her hands gripping tightly on the driving wheel.

"It's all right. Just relax, we trust you." Xiao Chen calmed his sister while gripping on the side tightly himself. 8 other voices at the back responded,

"Speak for yourself!" which was soon cut off very quickly from a sudden stop, making them lurch forward.

Thankfully, after 10 more minutes, they found themselves standing on the hilltop, in front of a magnificent looking church. The 10 of them stood in silence, wondering who would be the one to ring the bell. Picking up her courage, Sora, strode up, and pulled on the string that send a chime through the building. However, when the door opened, she found herself speechless.

"Hello, can I help you?" a woman in her mid fifties said.

"Hello, my name is Carina Li; these are my brothers and sisters." Carina came to her rescue, "we were wondering if we could see Sakura." The woman stayed silent for a while,

"My name is Lily. Yes, Sakura have told us about you. I'm afraid I cannot permit you to see her." Lily responded. Carina stood silently.

"Why not?" Alana's strong voice from behind her. Alana pushed her way up to the door, glaring strongly at the older woman. Xiao Chen held onto Alana's shoulder tightly.

"Please, we just want to speak to her." Sora said timidly, still standing in front of the door.

"Yea, she's our nanny." Alex's small voice said, his raven hair covering his deep amber eyes.

"She was even at our birthday party." Ying chimed him, Hitomi nodding in confirmation. Lily's expression softened.

"I'm really sorry." She said sincerely, "but she doesn't want to see anyone just yet."

"If you tell her we're here." Tenchi insisted,

"Then I'm sure she'll want to see us." Kari added to her brother's statement.

"She'll want to see us." Yang also said, following his brother and sister's example. Lily regarded the three, amber eyes, amber hair; no one could mistake them for not being a Li.

"I'm truly sorry, maybe if you come back later." Lily said, gently shutting the door. The 10 Li children stood outside alone as the wind blew tenderly against the grass.

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Lily walked back into the church, her mind still on the 10 children. She had really wanted to let them in; she had hoped they were able to help Sakura.

"Who was that?" Chiharu asked, seeing her face. Lily sighed,

"The Li children." Lily replied, "They had wanted to see Sakura." Chiharu shared her sigh.

"Yes, I've thought that much. Sakura had really been able to affect them." She said with a small smile of pride. Lily agreed,

"Yes, she has, but this had happened so sudden, I'm not sure if she could handle it." Lily said worriedly, Chiharu smiled,

"Don't worry so much. If there's one thing I know about Sakura, it's her stubborn nature."

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Sakura knocked against the old wooden door. It seemed like years and years ago when she had knocked on it to get her assignment as a nanny. Entering the dimly lit room, she kneeled down, gently kissing her old friend's backhand.

"My dear Sakura. Sit down." Daisy instructed, gesturing to the vacant chair. Obeying Sakura sat down, her hands resting against her white dress, her fingers twirling nervously. She didn't dare look up where she would meet Daisy's soft brown eyes, the same brown eyes which she had grown accustomed to 25 years ago, when she was 5, the same brown eyes which would prod her gently, to urge her to tell her story, yet not really forcing her at all.

"Sakura, why did you come back?" Sakura looked up at the old, wise face.

"I missed everyone here. I missed my home, my real home." Sakura said urgently, suddenly feeling the urgency for Daisy to understand.

"Sakura, I have explained this to you. This is not where you belong." Daisy said softly. Sakura shook her head,

"No, I belong here, with you, with Chiharu, with the others. I've grown up here practically all my life. This is my home, my only home, and you, everyone here, they're my true family. This is where I truly belong, here, at the church, with you. Why can't you just understand that?" Sakura cried, tears springing into her eyes again. "Why can't you just leave me be?" Daisy extended her hand, cradling Sakura's face in it, gently, rubbing away the warm liquid falling from her eyes.

"I can't understand it because I choose not to. I was your age once, I know how it feels. But unlike you, I was never given the chance. The only reason I wanted to send you out was so you didn't have to miss out what I had to. Sakura, you are like my own daughter, I care very deeply for you. That's why I am asking you to return. You don't belong here; the church is but a second home, a shelter from your life. You can't stay here forever." Daisy said. Sakura shook her head in denial,

"Yes I can, I can stay here. I can stay here with you. Don't push me away, please don't. I've suffered so much; you said I deserve to live in happiness. I am most happy here, Daisy, here with my family and friends. I can only be truly happy here." Sakura insisted. Daisy shook her head, her eyes shut.

"No Sakura. You are happy here only because you force yourself to be. Ask yourself, when you were out there, in the real world, experiencing your real life. Were you not free, were you not happy, did you not experience things you knew you could never here?"

And Sakura knew what she was denying all along.

She didn't belong here.

They weren't her family all along.

She belonged out there, outside.

She belonged where she had left the night before.

She was happiest with him.

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After the unsuccessful trip to the church, Alana and the rest of them were sitting outside in the courtyard, all in utter silence. They couldn't find anything to say, yet their minds were boggling with the same idea.

Why did she leave? Why didn't she want to see them?

"How was apple picking?" Syaoran voice came from the front door. The 10 of them shot up, the lie Alana had told coming back to them minds.

"Oh… it wasn't that much fun. Most of the apples were picked." Alana muttered her mind elsewhere.

"I see, and where is Daniel? I had the idea I had let him have today off." Syaoran continued.

"Yes, we realized that. I drove them, sorry Father." Carina said silently. Syaoran eyed his children. He knew where they had gone; he knew at once when Alana had appeared in his office this morning.

"Don't worry about it. I have an announcement." Syaoran told them, making their head rise. And denying the pain in his heart, and all the regret he knew he would suffer, he forced out an excited voice.

"Gwen and I, we're getting married next month. You guys are going to have a new mother." And for the first time since they've returned, utter shock filled their faces.

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A/N: Uh oh… what will happen now? Thank you so much for your reviews. I love every one of you. I may not be able to update quickly anymore since I've only got weekends now. But thanks for hanging on. Things may get a little more interesting now. Until the next chapter.

Next Chapter: Sakura makes an appearance, will it be permanent? Syaoran finally listens to his heart and Gwen maybe out of the picture sooner than you think, but trouble isn't over yet, in fact, its just the beginning.