This has been done for like 8 days, but I was saving it for a time like this when neither me nor Alpoptart can't update our other stories due to writers block or just no time! Anyway, enjoy whilest we go and (try) to finish our orther stories!

Holy shit, how the hell did you people know Triggerhappy was Hawkeye? OMGWTF!

Thanks for the reviews : )

Chapter 3 : Preprations

As Ed came back to his dorm, he saw Al staring at himself in the mirror. "Al? What are you doing?" Ed asked with a puzzled face. Al kept his attention to the mirror, ignoring his older brother. Ed squinted to see Al wearing a red and black stripped tie. Ed raised a brow, looking up to his younger brother. "Al?"

Al looked down and gave a dreamy sigh. "Brother, do I look alright?" He asked, tightening his tie. "This doesn't make me look fat, does it?" Ed's eyes went wide in surprise. "Er, Al… what are you doing?" Ed asked. Al was about to tell him, but then he knew his brother wouldn't approve of it if he did. "Nothing brother! I've got something to do!" Al said quickly, heading for the exit. Ed blinked in surprise as he watched his brother leave the room.

Ed glanced from the door over to the computer. A shiver ran up his spine as he thought of the horrors the cursed box brought. The computer seemed to taunt him, "Use me!" It seemed to say. Ed sighed in defeat, and walked over to the computer.

Ed tapped his fingers against the desk as he thought of what to look up. His first thought came to the philosopher's stone, but then his mind quickly formed another idea.

"AlXEd" Ed typed into Google.

"If they barely had any fictions about me and Winry, then there must be hardly any of me and Al, if not any!" Ed thought as the page loaded.

AlXEd:100, 235, 95 results found.

Ed could only stare in pure horror at what the screen flashed back at him. His complexion was ghostly white as he read the links.

'Elricest! Ed and Al have always been close, but what if they were closer then just brothers?' AlXEd.

Ed did NOT want to read it, yet… at the same time, he was curious. What sick perverted bastard would get off to seeing people who were related screw each other? Ed's jaw dropped when he started reading what the 'perverts' wrote about him and Al. He turned red then pale then back to red again, but this time out of anger. He practically fumed when he read farther into the story.

He then realized the little box at the bottom that said "Submit Review". He was going to give these sick bastards a piece of his mind. He clicked on the box and the window popped up. He needed to give a name so people would recognize him as submitted reviews. He typed in "ShortStuff". Now that he had a name it was time to flame.

ShortStuff

OMFG! HOW DARE YOU WRITE SOMETHING SO CRUDE AND SICK? YOU LITTLE SICK FUCK! I PRACTICALLY VOMITTED ON THE SPOT AFTER READING THAT! YOU GO TO HELL. YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE! IF I KNEW WHERE YOU LIVED I WOULD KILL YOU. I HOPE YOU TRANSMUTATE INTO A PILE OF DOG SHIT,

Ed was pleased when he submitted that and went off to flame more.

At Riza's apartment!


Riza sighed as she watched her dog choke down his dog food. She got up and went to her closet. After a few moment of rummaging around in the cluttered space, she pulled out a red, silky dress. She sighed in awe; this piece of clothing was the only pretty and dainty thing she owned. And now she was going to wear it, and possibly get a husband if all went well.

"Ah, I can just picture how he looks!" She said out loud, making Black Hyate look up for his food with a questionable look. "I bet he's tall, with broad shoulders!" She said dreamily. "I bet he's nice and caring… and is very strong!" While she dreamed in her little fantasy, something hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Wait a minute! He never even told me his age! He could be an old fart for all I know!" Riza quickly ran to her computer, logged on and went to the chat room. 'Mr. Hallow is online' the screen said. Riza quickly clicked the link and wrote:

TriggerHappy: Hey! I need to ask you something!

Mr. Hallow: What is that?

TriggerHappy: How old are you?

Al nervously panicked. 'Oh my! What am I going to tell her? Ok. I know. I'll just say I'm 20. She wouldn't be able to tell because of the armor.' He giddily typed his reply.

Mr. Hallow: I'm only 25.

Riza relaxed a bit. "Great! This might actually work for me!" Then she did a un-Riza like thing. She giggled.

TriggerHappy: OMG! YOU BASTARD! YOU MADE ME GIGGLE! GOD DAMNIT I WILL KILL YOU IF I DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU FIRST! DON'T EVER MAKE ME GIGGLE AGAIN! YOU HEAR ME?

Mr. Hallow: Yes ma'm. Of course! My bad! See you later then.

Al logged off in fear she would kill him before the date. He was so happy to finally be able to get a date. He might not have a body to get laid with but getting a girl to fall in love with him is just as good.

Riza logged off. She was getting a little nervous she didn't look good and all that sort of stuff. But damnit! She was Riza Hawkeye! She didn't give a damn. If he commented poorly on her looks she would blast off his 'manhood' without a second thought and laugh as he curled up in a fetal position and cried. She was going to have a good time or she will rain hell on the guy's parade. With that she smirked and continued to get ready.

Back to Roy!

After hours of using the computer for his enjoyment, Roy finally convinced himself to get up. His first stop was the bathroom. As he walked down the halls to Central's facilities, he thought about all the sites he had visited earlier. "Who ever invented porn sites is a genius!" Roy thought with a smirk. "But I could have lived without that bestiality shit… nasty!"

He then shuddered at that thought. Roy finally reached his destination, and walked in.

Roy walked to the first urinal and unzipped himself. He tried to concentrate on his "businesses", but his thoughts were interrupted when the door opened. He tilted his head to the side to see who is was, and a sly grin crept to his face. The person who walked in looked like he might shit himself.

"Hello, Edward…" Roy said in an amused tone. Ed's ghostly complexion turned to pasty white as he stared in horror at Roy.

You know what? Roy is a pervert! Ed is the only sane one in this story... poor Ed.

Anyway, this is by far the worst chapter! See, me and Alpoptart write this at 4AM, and normaly thats when when hyper and full of stupid ideas. But this time, we were tired and just wanted to hurry up and go to bed. So hence the lack of funny : (