A/N:You should know thatthe RPers decided to name The Man Jerry. Do not ask. Just don't. Or you will be treated to Roger's and Mimi/Benny'stwo-page thread devoted to an individual initialed JK. Heh. Sorry. Lots of strategically positioned lines here; bear with it.

Chapter Four

Mimi was fuming, to say the least. Her face was flushed and her hands were shaking with anger. Her stomach was twisted into a giant knot. She and Roger had never gotten into this big of a fight. Not even prior to Roger leaving to go to Santa Fe did they have a fight this bad. And what they were fighting over only infuriated her more.
"Can you believe this?" Mimi said, finally breaking the silence between her and Mark. "I don't know where the hell this even came from. He--" Mimi broke off mid-sentence as she started coughing again. She stopped walking and put a hand on one of the buildings they were passing to keep her balance. Luckily this one wasn't as bad as her previous one and didn't last nearly as long. She regained her composure and slowly began to walk again, eventually grabbing onto Mark's arm in fear that she would fall over from lack of strength. Mark instinctively went to catch her and hold her up. "Have you been taking your medicine?" he asked, but his mind was far from it.
"He was fine until I went into the bathroom," Mimi started again, her voice with a little less anger in it, having lost the strength from coughing. "I don't know what the hell's gotten into him. He always was bitching about how we didn't seem to get along when we first started going out and now that we're friends he can't handle it."

"I know! One minute everything is all fine-and-dandy, and the next minute we're cheating! I'm mean---holy shit--doesn't Roger have ANY faith in me? In you? In us? Think about it--he should know you well enough to know that I'm not your type and know me well enough that I wouldn't sleep with his girlfriend! I mean, c'mon! He's my best friend, not my access to women. For the record, I've been screwed less since Maureen left, and honey, no offense to you, but I wouldn't sleep with you because you are not mine!" Mark still couldn't believe that Roger would seriously think this. "I mean--hasn't what we've been through (all of us, that is) enough for him?"

"Apparently not," Mimi said coldly. "I mean, it's like as if Angel telling me not to die and be with him isn't enough. I could have said 'fuck you Angel, I'm glad I'm dying because I don't want to be with him.' But I didn't. I listened to her and I came back for him. And then I have to put up with this shit? And even after I came back, he still would talk to me about Benny as if I was cheating on him. Sometimes I wish I really had died that night."
Mimi knew that sounded harsh. That whole speech sounded harsh. But sometimes it was true. Sometimes she wished she didn't have to deal with this and just have Roger living alone in misery. Then again, that's probably what he'll be doing until she and Mark can convince him otherwise anyway, if it's even worth it anymore...

"Aw honey, you don't mean that," Mark said. Those were some harsh words. Some very. Harsh. Words. "He loves you, you know that. He's just an insensitive bastard at times." Mark sighed. "Well, I'm heading back to the loft---and if Roger gives a damn about me or you, he'll contact us eventually."
The thought of What if he DOESN'T... crossed his mind, but he ignored it.

She supposed she didn't mean what she said. But her temper was just as bad as Roger's, if not worse. And that is exactly why they ALWAYS fought.
"I think I'll keep walking. I need to cool down a little bit. Then I'm probably going to stay at my place tonight," Mimi told Mark. "You're more than welcome to come down if he gives you more shit... even though I guess that wouldn't really help much. But whatever. I'll see you later."
Mimi went down one of the side streets and eventually made her way onto St. Mark's Place. She just wandered around for a little bit, not really looking to go anywhere in particular. She felt around in her pockets, trying to find if she had enough money to break a promise. She had $50 from the previous night's work. That should get her a little something... enough to tide her over for the night at least. She headed down St. Mark's Place towards one of her usual hang-outs. This would be easier to deal with when she was high; reality was never fun when she wasn't.

Roger didn't say a word.
Like Mimi and Mark, he was furious to the point of shaking.
With a growl, he shoved Benny out of the way and left the Life.
However, he didn't head back to the loft. No, Mark and Mimi would be there. He just headed out and away.

Maureen saw Mark and Mimi storm out of the Life. What the hell had happened? Then she spotted Benny cackling in the corner of the room, near the hall that led to the bathroom. What ever had happened between Roger, Mimi and Mark she had a pretty good idea where it had started. She saw Benny go into to the hallway, presumably to talk to Roger. Maureen jumped down from the table and flung open the door to the hallway, marching right up to Benny. "What the fuck did you do?"

Benny sighed as he heard Maureen's shrill voice. It got to the point that whenever she talked, it was like nails on a chalkboard. He turned around with a roll of his eyes.
"Chill out Maureen. I didn't do shit. I can't help if Mark, Mimi and Roger have issues. It's not my deal. I saw them storm out of here and I knew Roger was in here so I wanted to see what the deal was. Is that such a crime?"

Maureen rolled her eyes. She had never gotten along with Benny. "Look, I know you did something. I saw you go to talk to Roger right before this whole escapade happened. We both know that I don't like you and that you don't like me. But I am warning you, don't screw with my friends." Her voice was lowered considerably, almost dangerously. They had all just reached something that could be called normal and Benny went and messed it up. Angel and Collins, the usual peacemakers, were not longer there to fix things and Mark...well, Maureen wagered he was part of the issue. So it was up to her to make sure things were set right.

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Benny asked with a laugh. "Maureen, give it up. You just want someone to blame Roger and Mimi's problems on, just like the two of them do, and for some reason I'm always the scapegoat. How about facing reality and realize that the two of them aren't exactly Sonny and Cher."
Benny gave Maureen a warning glance before walking past her, grabbing his coat and heading out onto the street.

After leaving the Life, Roger walked the streets. There was no way he was heading back to the loft! As he walked the streets of New York, Roger's mind began going back, as it always seemed to in tough times, to three years earlier.
To April. To his time as a junkie...
He had been clean for two and a half years. However, that didn't mean that during difficult times he would have the urge just to escape reality...

Mimi finally reached her destination. Tonight sure was a night for nostalgia, as this was the same spot that Roger found her practically scrounging at the bottom of the bucket to get anything she possibly could. He came and apologized to her for acting like a jerk. She let out a laugh, which ended up more like a snort, at the thought of Roger trying to apologize for the mess he'd gotten himself into this time. Mimi found her man finally. She smiled as she sauntered up to him.
"You got any blow?"
"Well, well, well, look who it is. I knew you'd come crawling back," he said, pulling a tiny bag out from his pocket, the white powder looking so amazing to Mimi.
"You are the only man for me. You do me no wrong," Mimi said, handing over the money and taking the tiny packet, slapping it lightly against her hand and examining it.

Tonight had been too much for Roger. His urge was stronger than ever and he subconsciously dug into his coat pocket. He and Mimi had stopped by the Food Emporium ATM in order to get money to pay for his and Mimi's food at the Life. He had no money, but a year ago Collins had rewired that ATM with a special code in Angel's memory.
He had enough money.
His pace quickened towards St Mark's Place.

"What ever happened to Loverboy? I thought he told you ya couldn't take anymore," the man asked, watching Mimi look over the coke.
"Yeah, and you saw how long that lasted," she said with a bitter laugh. "He was a junkie, too. He should know you can't help it when you need a fix."
"But even you said you were done when I came to your work a couple months ago."
"And I lied, big deal. Apparently, I do a lot of that."
Mimi slid down the wall as she opened up the packet. She wasn't even bothering with trying to break it up; it was fine enough for her at the moment. She put her nose in the bag and inhaled deeply. She closed her eyes and a smile came across her face.
"That's some good shit."
"Only the best for my favorite customer."
It was then Roger came onto the scene. He didn't see Mimi, but of course he wasn't looking for her.
He was in need of one thing and his eyes looked amongst the 'usuals'.
Jerry looked over to see who was coming and let out a slight chuckle.
"Well, it seems you aren't the only one lying."
"Huh?" Mimi said, barely even listening to what he said, simply allowing the high to overcome her.
"Looks like Loverboy's on his way now," the dealer said, giving Roger his evil grin. "Welcome back Loverboy. What can I get you?"
Mimi's eyes slowly traveled over to the man, and then to his new customer.
"Fuck," Mimi said under her breath once she realized who it was.
She brought her knees to her chest and put her head to her legs. She wasn't in the mood to deal with this; she just wanted to escape.
He clutched the money in his pocket.
Something deep down was nagging at him not to do it. Not to buy his fix with this money.
The man raised his eyebrows. "You want somethin' or not? I got whatever you need."
Roger pushed the feeling aside. Fuck it! He needed this fix.
"Got any smack?" he finally decided.
"You know it man," the man said, reaching inside his coat pocket and pulling out a needle. He held it out for Roger to take, his evil grin becoming even wider.
Roger pulled the money he needed out of his coat pocket. He couldn't look at the man, knowing he held that evil grin. He gave the money away and took the needle.
The man laughed his rugged laugh.
"Don't feel too bad, Loverboy. Your girlfriend gave in, too."
Mimi now knew why she hated being permantly high: high people don't know how to keep their mouths shut.
Roger hesitated. Mimi...Mimi was here? …'Fuck her!' he thought angrily, which brought him back to the thought of why he was there in the first place. Needle in hand, he moved a few feet away from the man.
Mimi didn't move. It was dark in the alley anyway, and there were so many druggies around that it'd be nearly impossible for him to find her anyway.
For a moment, his eyes scanned the druggies that had gathered. However, there were so many and it had grown dark. She looked up a little bit, allowing her hair to fall in her face. Her eyes followed Roger. She saw him move away from the man and when she thought he was out of hearing range, she grabbed him by the leg and yanked him over to her.

"What the fuck are you doing? Why did you tell him I was here?" she asked through clenched teeth.
"What difference does it make? By the looks of it you're both already on the outs with each other or you wouldn't both be here, now would you?"
Suddenly, Mimi's high didn't feel too great. She looked down at the packet in her hand before looking up at Roger. He'd been clean for so long and now... Mimi shook her head. It was his own fucking fault anyway. Why did she care? She brought the packet back to her nose and inhaled another nose-full of coke.
Once again, the nagging feeling came back. There were other's who'd be disappointed if they knew. There was Collins. There was Angel... Collins and Angel...Ha! Both had left Roger's life. Collins was down in Santa Fe and Angel was dead.
Roger was beginning to think April had the right idea. Fuck being 'clean' and… "Fuck. Life!" he spat before he shot up.
Mimi rolled her eyes in frustration as she heard Roger mumbling. Like he honestly had anything to be upset about. He was doing this all to himself. She and Mark clearly weren't doing anything, it was just his own insecurity and paranoia that was getting the best of him, not like that was anything new anyway.
"Fuck life," Mimi said under her breath. "You hear that?"
"Yeah, what's the deal with this now? Last time I saw you two you were all lovey-dovey and shit. Now you don't even wanna talk to him."
"Remember the dude with the camera?"
"Yeah."
"That's Roger's best friend and today he decided to tell us he thought I was cheating on him with the camera man."
"Are you?"
"No! Please. I love Mark to death, but NOT like that."
"Well it's not like you're exactly a one-guy girl."
"Yeah, that was while I was still doing this shit. And you were the only one I fucked anyway, and that was once in a blue moon so that barely even counts. You know I use you just for my fix," Mimi said, inhaling once again, her high suddenly smacking her in her face.
"I know, but I can't complain," the man said with a shrug.
While Mimi was sharing her problem with the dealer, Roger's high hit him full on.
After all, he had been clean for two and a half years.
He went over to a building and leaned against it, sliding down it to the ground.

Mimi looked over at Roger and shook her head.
"He was always worried that I was cheating on him all the time that him always bitching about it made me want to actually do it so he could have the satisfaction of being right for once,"
"You know, I'm up for something now if you want. I may not be the cameraman but--"
"No, thanks, that's okay. I got what I came for. I probably should be heading back anyway."
Mimi stood up but immediately felt light-headed and fell right back down. She started laughing, because as we all know, when one is high, they're invincible. However, unfortunately, Mimi's laughter caused her to go into her third coughing fit of the day.
Mother...fucker... Mimi thought between coughs.
Roger heard the cough and looked in the direction.
He tried to focus his eyes.
Mimi was now realizing just how bad it probably was to have taken a hit when she hadn't been doing too well that day. She felt like she'd be on her death bed in half a second the way this was going. Even in her high state, she felt like death. That wasn't normal for her. She pulled her jacket around her mouth, as if that'd muffle it at all when her coughs were already echoing through the alley.
"Mimi…?" he said softly. One could hear the high in his voice. For a moment, the worried concern returned.
Mimi waved her hand dismissively as she heard Roger's voice, once again full of his "concern." He was high, he didn't know any better.
Roger shook his head. Why was he concerned now? If it even was Mimi, let Mark take care of it!
"Um, that's not from the blow, just for the record. That shit was pure," the man said.
Mimi finally stopped coughing, or at least it had calmed down. She tasted a metallic taste in her mouth, and turned her head, spitting out blood. Not that it was the first time that had happened, but it was certainly never encouraging.
"I know, asshole. I have AIDS, remember?" Mimi said between breaths once she had gotten herself back together.
"Oh yeah," Jerry said, but he was off in la-la-land with pretty much the rest of the alley, Mimi included, but a fit that bad was certainly a bit of a buzz kill.
Once the coughing had stopped, Roger went back to his high.
He had forgotten how 'good' it felt to just to leave dingy New York for a while.
Roger closed his eyes.
Mimi clawed her way up the building she had been sitting against until she was standing. She leaned against it for a few moments until she felt like she was strong enough to walk back to her apartment. Or maybe since she had a feeling Roger wouldn't be finding his way back home, she would crash at the loft. It was all up in the air at that point.
"I'm splittin'. I can't be out here in this cold with this cough and this high. It's just not working for me tonight," Mimi said to Jerry.
"Well don't be a stranger around here anymore, baby. You know I'll hook you up whenever you need something."
"Yeah... thanks," Mimi said, rolling the idea of getting whatever she wanted in her head. "I'll see you around. Stop by the club tomorrow night, I'm working."
With that Mimi started for the street, simply walking by Roger.

Benny was walking along St. Mark's Place. Why, he didn't quite know, but he was. He saw a tiny figure coming out of an alley and soon enough, recognized it to be Mimi. He put his head down, averting her attention, but she wasn't paying much attention to the people on the streets anyway. He looked down the alley that she had come out of and had to laugh. She just didn't know how to handle any pressure with out those damn drugs. But then he saw another familiar figure.
"Roger?" he asked as he made his way into the dark drug abyss."What the hell are you doin' man?"
Jerry got up from the ground and made his way over to Benny.
"Loverboy's got a friend here, huh? What can I get you?"
"Wha-- I don't do this stuff man. I know this guy."
"Well if you're not buying, then get the hell outta my alley."
Benny rolled his eyes and took in the sight of Roger.
"Do you even have a place to stay tonight man? 'Cause I know you're not going back to the loft like this..."
"Damn right I ain't headin' back to the loft!" Roger responded.
But of course, he was thinking of other reasons why he wasn't going to go back.
"Do you want to stay at my place?" Benny offered, as thoughts filled his head of what propaganda he could fill Roger with.
"Wouldn't Muffy object?" Roger responded.
Benny sighed.
"Muffy will get over it. You're obviously... not right. I'm not going to let you just wander the streets by yourself all night."
Roger gave a snort. 'Not right.'
He had to give a laugh.
"I'll take you up on your offer then," he replied finally. Anything other then the loft was better than the street.
"Aright come on then. My car's parked a couple blocks away."
"You sure you don't want some horse for the road man?" Jerry asked.
"No, I'm good. Come on Roger. You don't belong here."
Roger slowly stood, wobbling some as he got to his feet.
He blinked, getting his eyes into focus.
Benny sighed a little.
"You need some help?"
"Nah...I'm alright."
"Aright then man. Let's bounce."
"Nice seein' ya again!" Jerry said.
"...dude I've never seen you before in my life."
"Oh," Jerry said, a little sad. He walked away and went back to his customers as Benny led the way to his car.

A/N: Putting it out there once and for all; unless there's an unforseenproblem, this story will be updated every other day/ every third day from now on until I get to the parts that haven't been written yet.