Chapter 1
OMG Harry it's Lord Voldemort! Quick attack him before someone steals your glory!(Moony)
"C'mon Draco" Hermione whined "Let's get out of here"(Prongs)
"Get away you mudblood, unlike Harry Potter I can get action from better things"
"I can't get no!" sings Harry(Moony)
"Yes Harry you can get some from me!" says the gorgeous, attractive Ginny. "And at least you don't need someone to do your dirty work for you unlike Malfoy!"(Wormtail)
"At least I don't need to watch other people for 'experience'!" says Malfoy "and I'm not a paedophile!"
"It's true!" screams Harry "…I'm a sad, lonely loser who preys on little girls and boys!" (Padfoot)
"Ron tell them it's not true" whined Hermione. Ron shrugged. "He's going out with my sister, do you really think I'm okay with that?"
"Harry see you are a sicko!" Malfoy laughed.
"Oh my god Draco I love you" says Ginny and runs off.(Fang)
"Ginny O Ginny, my one true love!" says the extremely sad and pathetic Harry "why not live on the run with me when you can live a life of wonder and comfort with him" Harry says jerking a thumb at the handsome Draco.(Prongs)
"Get away from me Harry, I don't want a boy. I want a man. I want you Draco. TAKE ME NOW YOU BAD MAN!"
Harry starts crying.(Moony)
"I'm not a man, I'm only a boy, only a boy" Malfoy squealed pathetically across the common room.
"Are you sure you're a boy Malfoy?" inquired Harry noting Malfoy's girlish squeal.(Wormtail)
"Yes I'm sure! Just because Pansy Parkinson revealed you're a trannie, it doesn't mean you have to bring me down with you!" said Malfoy. Hermione and Ron stared in horror…
"You're a chick!" they screamed in unison
"It's true" wailed Harry as he ran off crying (Padfoot)
yay chapter 1- hope you enjoyed it…it can only get better from here!
Lots of love Prongs