A/N: If you don't appreciate this coming chapter for all that it is, there is no point in your reading any more of this fic. Just a heads up.

Chapter Eight

Four times in twelve hours? Maureen didn't know a lot about AIDS or HIV, except what Collins had told her about it and what she had gathered from being around so many people infected, but even she knew that the situation was getting very bad. "Mimi, wait!" But Mimi was already out the door. Maureen felt torn. She wanted to stay and be there for Mark but she also wanted to make sure that Mimi was all right. She sent a look in Mark's direction, hoping that he understood and would be okay without her there. Then she went to the door, not being able to stop herself from shooting Roger a nasty look as she passed him. What was his problem? Couldn't he see that Mimi was sick? Maureen went down the stairs and knocked on Mimi's door, hoping that was where she went. "Mimi?"

Mimi had just managed to get through the door before allowing herself to fall against the wall and down to the floor. Her breath had become slow and labored and she felt so weak.
"Come in honey," Mimi said as loud as she could in response to the knock.

Something didn't sound right in Mimi's voice. It was like she was out of breath. Maureen pushed the door open and saw Mimi on the floor against the wall. "Oh god, Mimi, are you okay?" Maureen rushed over and knelt down so she was on the same level.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Mimi said as convincingly as she could manage. She forced a smile to her friend. "Just... a little worn out, ya know?"

Maureen was still not completely convinced that Mimi was doing all that well. "Here, let's get you onto the couch. It'll be a lot more comfortable there than the floor." Maureen took hold of Mimi's arm to help her up.

Mimi allowed Maureen to help her up and the two of them made their way over to the couch. Mimi laid her head on the armrest and curled her legs up to her chest. A single tear trickled down her cheek but she wiped it away quickly. She let out a laugh, trying to be strong.
"I just don't see how this situation has gotten this blown out of proportion. It's almost funny."

"How did this happen, anyway? I mean, Roger is a jealous guy but what prompted this?" Maybe if they figured out what had caused Roger's jealously, they would know what to say to make him realize how ridiculous he was being. A small voice in the back of Maureen's mind was still screaming 'Benny' but she decided not to tell her suspicions to Mimi yet. She was already upset enough. "Do you want a glass of water or anything?"

"Yeah, please," Mimi said in response to Maureen's offer for a glass of water. Then a frustrated look came over her. "I don't even know where this came from. I went to the bathroom and then came out and then he comes out and starts accusing me of shit. It came out of nowhere. But he claims that he observes things." A mocking tone came into Mimi's voice.

Maureen went into Mimi's kitchen and grabbed a glass out of the cabinet. She should tell Mimi about Benny. No matter what he said, she was so sure he had something to do with it and it wasn't just her personal bias against him. She opened the fridge to get ice, before realizing there was none. Of course, Mimi had been upstairs mostly so why would there be any ice made? She turned on the tap, waiting for it to get cold before filling up the glass and bringing it back to Mimi. She sat down beside her on the couch, "Mimi, I think I know what happened."

"If you can analyze this situation, I would love you forever, Mo," Mimi said before taking a sip of her water. She coughed a little; the cold feeling strange against her dry throat, but then took another sip. "I've been trying to figure out what could've happened within the five seconds I came out into the dining room and him flipping out on me."

Maureen bit her lip, trying to choose her words carefully. She wasn't sure how Mimi would react to her suspicions. "Well, I saw Benny go into the bathroom right before Roger came out and you guys started fighting. And then, when you and Mark stormed out, he was laughing his ass off. And how did Roger end up in Westport last night? Last time I checked, he wasn't Benny's biggest fan. Unless Benny said something to Roger at the Life..." Maureen trailed off. "I don't know. I talked to Mark earlier and he didn't think that Benny would do something like this...but I'm not so sure. I know that I always think Benny is up to something but this time, there's just so much pointing towards him having something to do with this."

Mimi stayed silent for a moment, quietly pondering the new information she was given.
"I wouldn't put it past him," she mumbled bitterly. "And if he is behind this..."
An angry look came over Mimi's face as her thoughts raced a mile a minute.

Maureen sighed, relieved that Mimi believed her. She had been beginning to think she was paranoid as well. "Just calm down, honey. At least now you have an idea of what set all this off. Maybe you should try talking to Roger about that."

Mimi shook her head, trying not to explode at Maureen, who didn't deserve it.
"He'd probably give me shit about how he couldn't believe me about Benny when I told him I wasn't cheating on him before. He won't believe me now. I just don't understand why he would believe Benny over Mark and me. I mean, Mark's his BEST FRIEND, and I'm his girlfriend, and I know I haven't been exactly trustworthy before, but Jesus. Believing Benny of all people over me? That's just low."

"I don't know why he'd believe that lowlife over you, honey. I can't even imagine why. I do know about trying to get that trust back though. It's not an easy or fun thing to do." Maureen gave her friend a sympathetic smile. It would be a whole lot easier if Roger would talk to them. But then, talking things out never really seemed like Roger's strong suit. "I wonder how Mark is doing up there."

Mimi sighed as she swished the water around in her glass.
"I don't know. Probably as well as I was doing. Roger's just... he just needs to wake up and realize that not everyone's out to get him. He takes things way too personally and it's just not fair to the people who have to deal with him. I love him, I really do, but it's just pointless sometimes."

Maureen nodded. Mimi had a point. "I think I'm going to run up and see what's going on. He said he had to talk to me." Maureen thought for a moment. "Do you need anything from up there? Ya know, that you might have left."

Mimi thought for a second.
"I think I left my AZT by the bed... and my sweater, too. Thanks Mo."
Mimi gave her friend a warm smile. It was times like these when she really appreciated her little haphazard family.

Maureen winked at her and gave her a small smile. "No problem Mims. I'll be right back." She walked out and back up to the loft, letting herself in just in case Mark had gotten Roger to talk. The door to Mimi's and Roger's room was open, so Maureen slipped in and grabbed the stuff the Mimi had needed before creeping toward Mark's room.

Roger didn't want to talk.
Not right now with Mark at any rate.
Most of him wanted to run to Mimi, make sure she was alright. However, that one sliver of stubbornness was holding him back.
In any normal situation, one could ask Roger why he had done it. Now he wouldn't have been able to say.

He crossed his arms.

Every-obscene-word-Mark-could-think-of! HOW did this happen?
"I guess it's up to you and me now," he said, trying to be optimistic. Roger wasn't much for talking to him about his love life, and it didn't seem like he would be anymore thrilled with the prospect now. However, when Mark unwillingly because a part of that love life, he had just as much a right to talk about it.

The silence was killing him. Roger didn't seem to want to talk. At all. But then what was the point in coming home then? To sit there and not say anything?
Then Maureen came in and he could have sung the hallelujah chorus. If Roger didn't want to talk to him, fine.
"Maureen," he said as she disappeared in Roger and Mimi's room. Mark went with her and stood by the door. "Would you...like to go for a walk or something? Nothing is getting done here and I'm getting stifled with Roger being like this."
Please say yes! He needed to get out of the loft.

Maureen looked up at Mark's voice. "Yeah, just let me bring this stuff down to Mimi first." Maureen glanced over at Roger and sighed. There seemed to be no way that this situation was going to be resolved quickly. More than ever, she wished Collins wasn't in Santa Fe. "We can drop it off on our way downstairs."

"That sounds great," he said. "Just let me run in my room for something really quick." He ran his room and opened up one of his dresser drawers. With a sigh, he pulled out a tiny something and closed the door.
This just hasn't been his day.
He met up with Maureen again. "Ready?" he asked. He looked over at Roger but wasn't in the mood to talk. Maybe he would force Roger to look at the situation, but he wanted to talk to Maureen first. It just seemed that some things were much more important.

"Let's go." Maureen walked out into the hallway and headed downstairs for Mimi's.

Once Mark and Maureen left the loft, Roger allowed the wave of emotion he had been holding back spill out. Mimi was sick (again)... He and Mimi were fighting (again)... He and Mark were fighting (again)...
With a sigh, Roger went to pick up his guitar and head to his room. As he picked it up, he saw the scar from last night. Now there was a fight waiting to happen if Mark ever found out...
Roger gave a frustrated mixture between a growl and a sigh as he slammed the door to his room.
Why did life have to be so damn complicated?

There was a brief awkward silence and Maureen racked her brain for something to fill it. Not the situation upstairs; that would just upset Mark. "So, um, what did you need to talk to me about?" Maureen knocked on Mimi's door. Mark didn't answer.

Mimi opened the door, having dragged herself off the couch, and saw Maureen and Mark. A coy smile crept over her face.
"I'll just take this stuff. Looks like you two could use some alone time. Thanks Mo." "No problem Mimi. I'll come by later, okay?"
She took the stuff before quietly closing the door and letting out a small huff. Figures. Her and Roger are on thin ice while Mark and Maureen are about to win the gold metal in figure skating. She crept back over to the couch, took an AZT and just drifted off.

After Mimi had shut the door, Maureen turned back to Mark. "Let's go to the park. We can talk there." Tompkins Square Park had always been a favorite spot of Maureen's. It was always so peaceful, especially at night.

"Okay," Mark said. Truth be told, he didn't know what he was doing. Well, he knew WHAT he was doing, but he didn't know why he was doing it. But that didn't matter in the long run. All that mattered was that it got done.
They walked down the stairs together, and Mark held open the door for Maureen. Once they were out, they headed to the park. Mark's camera was in the loft, but he didn't want to film this. He hoped against the odds that--well, he just didn't know what. He had so many different things running through his mind at once he didn't want to try to stop and focus on any one thing. It might disrupt his train of thoughts and his courage.
They walked in silence, which was strange, until they got to the park. Mark found a bench and gestured for Maureen to sit down.
"Um..." he said. Great way to begin, but who cares. "Maureen, I do have something important to talk to you about."

Maureen sat down next to him and looked at him, seriously.
"Okay, Mark- you're scaring me now. What's up?"
Maureen had noticed the absence of Mark's camera. If he had left it back at the loft, whatever he was about to talk to her about had to be big. She looked at him expectantly.

Mark looked Maureen in the eyes. She had beautiful eyes. And a great mouth...okay, overactive imagination...focus.
"Don't interrupt me, because I'm going to need you to not do that." he said. He took a deep breath. He never saw himself doing this. Okay, that was lie. He HAD seen himself doing this, he had even prepared for it. But it seemed like it would never happen. Here goes nothing...
"Maureen, it's no secret that I loved you. Well, I still do, that's also not a secret. Everyone seems to know that, but whatever. Um..." KEEP GOING! he told himself. Alright, here it goes. "I know a lot of times I've told you that I wouldn't hurt you. That's true, I never would—don't interrupt me," he said at the first sign that Maureen was going to say something. "I would never hurt you. I'd—well, let's not get into that. Anyway, I was doing some thinking almost a year and a half ago about you. About us, actually. We were still dating then. And, well...here..." He dug the thing he'd pulled from his dresser out of his pocket. It was nothing more than a simple ring. He put it on the middle finger of her right hand to show that he knew it didn't belong on her ring finger on the left hand, which meant engagement. They were way away from that stage. A year ago, they weren't, but now...there was no hope, so better not hope in vain.
"I never told anyone, but I was going to ask you to marry me that day you told me you were breaking up with me. Figures. But...you can keep this. I don't need it and I really don't want it anymore. Just...keep it to remember that I've always loved you and I always will in some way or another. Damn it, Maureen! This last day, just spending so much time with you..." damn it, just wrap it up, buddy! "It's been wonderful." He said at last. He kissed her on the forehead.
"I..uh...better go check up on Roger, I guess." He said standing up. "I'll catch you later."
That was it. It's done. Now Maureen had the ring, and had his little secret. It was COMPLETELY over with her now. He refused to let himself be aggravated over the fact that he still loved her, and had indeed fallen back in love with her over the last day. But that did aggravate him. It's like seeing the one thing you want and knowing you can never have it. Oh well. C'est la vie.
He knew she had some feelings for him still, but it was useless. A hardened heart was better than a broken one, but at the moment, if Maureen was the one breaking, he'd rather have the broken.

Maureen just sat there, staring in shock at the ring. It was beautiful. And Mark had gotten it for her. To ask her to marry him. And she broke his heart, all because she was afraid of what could happen. All because she was afraid that she would actually be happy and content, for once in her life. A million and two thoughts where all swirling around her brain at once but they all came to a screeching halt when Mark began walking away.
"No, Mark! Wait!" She stood from the bench and ran to him. But what would she say? Everything that she could say sounded stupid in her mind. And then she knew. She knew the truth and she had to tell him.
"Mark, please don't go...I..." Why was this so hard for her to say? "Mark, I love you."

Mark wanted to be happy and scream and yell, but it was pointless. His mind slowed down very quickly.
"I know," he said. "I know you do." He did. Last night at the bar, the way she reacted for that split second, that look on her face. He knew she loved him. But it was pointless...wasn't it? Why was being in love so damned hard? "But I don't see much coming, you know? I mean, you're already seeing someone else. You've moved on, honey. I don't know..." He sighed. He cupped her face lightly with his hand. "May I?" he asked. He didn't really care about her answer, either. He kissed her. He shouldn't have done that, but what could he have? He loved her, she loved him; it made sense.
"I wish with everything you can come back to me, you know? We could have a life...be together. But I'm not that naive. I know you're happy, and that's what I want for you. I want you to be happy more than--" he was going to say more than he wanted to be happy, which was true but not what she wanted to hear. "More than anything else. If you're happy, that's all that matters."
Just walk away... he thought. But he couldn't. He just stood there, looking at her.

"But you make me happy, Mark. Even when we weren't together, even when I was breaking up with you, I knew that." Maureen took deep breath. Her heart was pounding.
"I was happy with Joanne- when we weren't fighting. But now...it's over with us. And we both know it. We both have known it for a long time. The fight we had yesterday was just the last straw." Maureen paused and looked Mark in the eyes. "Mark, I want to be with you."

What? huh? Come again? Mark was seeing stars, and he had no way to make any connections. Simple things didn't make sense. He wasn't expecting this to happen. He was expecting Maureen to say that it was cute that he loved her or yeah, I love you too, now go jump off a cliff, my lover is waiting. Not I miss you and I've always wanted to be with you. Wait, what just happened? It seems that Mark not really pursuing Maureen had lead to Maureen pursuing Mark.
Mark wants (to be with) Maureen, Maureen wants (to be with) Mark. He's single. She's single. Why is there a problem? For some reason, those very simple facts could not be connected. They were like all the wrong pieces to all the wrong puzzles. But, somehow, they all fit.
Instead of saying something, a host of sounds came from somewhere in Mark's throat that sounded like "Wha – ho – butdijet – howdid – ?". Mark stopped and cleared his throat and tried to form some kind of logical structure in his brain before he started talking again. This took a minute.
"You and Joanne broke up...?" it was more of a question than a statement. There was another pause, another moment of trying to make connections in his water-logged brain.
"Come back to me?" He said. "Be with me?" He was probably going to regret this. But who cares? Damnit! Who the hell cares! This is now! Who cares about the future? Will there even BE a future? SHIT! His brain got back to something of a working order and he kept thinking philosophy. He offered her his hand. She takes it, she's in, she doesn't, she's out. Mark found himself hoping for the former, but not knowing if he should be expecting the latter.

Maureen took his hand.
"Mark, I know I've made a lot of mistakes, especially when it came to us. And I know how much I hurt you and that really what I deserve is for you to shoot me down now and tell me how horrible I am and to leave you alone. But I do love you and I really want to get a second chance at this."

Maureen held her breath, waiting for Mark's response. She knew that he loved her, that he always had, but was that enough to erase everything she had done to him?

Mark nodded. "Actually, Maureen, this is like, your 30th chance," Mark said. He gave her a smile to let her know he was just joking. "Honey, I'm not perfect, and neither are you." Shocker. But did she know she wasn't perfect? "And I don't expect you to be. That's one reason I love you so much."

Maureen smiled at him, "I am still trying to deal with the fact that I'm not perfect."

They started walking back toward the loft. "So...when do you move back in? When Roger stops being a prick or what?" Forget it. "Please tell me you're staying here tonight, too. I feel like I haven't had you in ever and I just want to enjoy it. Just stay with me and we'll do whatever, okay?" he said. He held open the door for her. "Lets see if we can get this figured out or...or ignore Roger and be all lovey-dovey and gross him out or something." Roger was going to freak when he found out that Mark and Maureenwere back together! Mark was secretly looking forward to that. He took her hand again once they got in the building and they started heading up.

Maureen thought about what Mark had asked, about moving back in.
"As soon as possible, I guess. I mean, as soon as I get the rest of my stuff from my old place. Probably tomorrow. I'll take you up on staying the night though...Roger's not going to like this, huh."
"Like I care?" Mark said. "Because he has issues with his love life that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to have one. I'm a big boy, I can have you for a girlfriend if I want. He can just bitch and moan about it."
The truth be told, Mark did value what Roger thought, but at the moment, Roger was WAY far from redeeming himself to the point where Roger's opinion about Mark and Maureen in a relationship didn't matter to him. Maybe later, when Roger got his act together. They stopped outside their door.
"Well, this is it." He said, opening the door. "Let's see if all hell broke loose yet." He stepped inside.
"Roger?" He called. "I don't even know if he's still here," Mark said to Maureen.

Roger heard Mark call his name.
He stayed silent however. Roger didn't want to deal with Mark just yet. Things would only erupt again.
Let Mark think he had gone out again. Or not.
He didn't care what Mark thought as long as he was left alone.

Maureen knew that Mark was just angry and that once everything blew over, he would at least care about Roger's opinion. She more than once had likened Mark and Roger's relationship to that of an old married couple, minus the romantic dealings. When no one answered Mark's call, Maureen turned to him. "I guess he went back out."

"I guess so," Mark said. Then a thought hit him. He and Maureen were alone in the apartment...and they were dating again...hmm...possibilities in there.

"So..." Mark said. "You got anything you want to do? This isn't really a hell of a way to start a relationship again, but hey, it's gotta start somewhere, right?" He said. There was him, there was her (a beautiful woman). C'mon Maureen! Be smart and THINK about what he's thinking about! For once be on the same page as he his. He loved her, she loved him—
It's nice to dream. Mark wanted to make the first move, but didn't want to at the same time.

Maureen was on the same page as Mark. Really, she was alone in the lift with the man she loved—where else would Maureen's mind go? But she decided to play coy about it. She moved closer to him and brushed her fingers across his forehead, pretending to brush away a stray hair. "Hmm...I don't know. What could we do all alone in this apartment?" Maureen was feigning innocence but she knew that Mark would recognize the tone her voice had taken. This time around, it wouldn't be her to make the first move.

Mark smiled. SCORE! Literally. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer. "Gee, I don't know...I mean, two people, alone—alone's a very key word...hmm..." he said. He started walking with her toward his room, their steps sort of duck-walking. He brought one arm forward and started un-doing the buttons on her shirt. "We could play games..." Mark suggested, leaning in and kissing her neck, feeling her heart beating. That made him smile. He was getting her hot.
Maureen giggled as Mark hit a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. "I like games." She wrapped her arms around Mark's neck and found his mouth with her own. Their "duck waddle" had barely gotten them halfway to Mark's room. Maureen moved her head slightly and smiled seductively at Mark, "There has to be a faster way of doing this."

"...I've got time..." Mark replied, shedding his coat and kicking off his shoes. As long as his mouth had some kind of contact with her, he was fine. He got an idea. He wrapped his arms around her rear and lifted her off the ground so she could wrap her legs around him. This way, at least only one of them had to do the walking.

"Much better." She ran her hands through his hair and down the back of his neck, pushing his scarf off his shoulders. It fell onto the floor, but Maureen was too completely into the moment to care. Right then, the only thing that existed was her and Mark.

Mark smiled. "I think this is actually much better," he said. He had dreamed about this moment for over two years. Now he only knew one thing: That he loved this woman. Every fiber of his being was hers at a whim, and he wanted to prove that to her, to show it to her. He wanted to be light and easy, but it never happened. Like it ever happens. He finally made it to his room. He could feel Maureen anticipating, which only made him more excited.
"...here..." he said, stepping in and kicking his door shut.

A/N: That was for anyone who loves Mark and Maureen forever! And isn't off reading I Should Tell You instead.