Chapter Thirteen: Jayne's Plan & The Star Garden

Soundtrack suggestions: "Stars" – Switchfoot, "Cat's Meow/Partners in Crime" – Joanie Madden

Kaylee stuck her head into the boys' room. "You ready, Simon?"

"Yes, I think I am," he said, smiling at her. With one final glance in the mirror, he left the room.

Kaylee, Zoë, and Inara were in the hallway. Kaylee was wearing her pink dress with a beautiful shawl that must have been Inara's over it. Zoë was decked out in a bright crimson wool dress with a fake flower the same color in her dark hair, a strand of small green beads around her neck. Anyone who bothered to look would see that she wore substantial boots underneath it, as though she was planning to go hiking (or masterminding a heist). Inara wore a hunter green dress with bright red leaves embroidered about the bodice and hem, with a red sash around her waist. Her hair was done up in a complicated up-do, and she looked very beautiful indeed.

"Wow," Simon said, his mouth almost dropping open.

"Come on, we're gonna be late," Kaylee said, laughing at Simon's shock. She hooked her arm through his, and they all clambered gracefully into the lift to go down to the main floor. Mal was waiting there. "Ya look very nice. All o' ya," Mal said, obviously as stunned as Simon.

Inara smiled at him. "The tram's coming at seven-forty-five, is that right?"

Mal nodded. "Where're ya meetin' yer date?"

"We're meeting at Hays' Market," Inara answered.

"Who're ya goin' with, 'Nara?" Kaylee questioned eagerly.

Inara had to smile. "I'm going with Officer Raymond, the nice man we met today," she answered. "He's the son of the prime minister of Hays' Market and a distinguished server of the Snozlund Militia. Oh, and he won a Sharpman Prize last year for particle physics."

"What, was God not available?" Mal asked sarcastically.

"No, He wasn't," Inara replied gently, smiling.

They left the hostel, Marion waving after them, and walked to the tram stop, which was only a block or so from Parker's Playhouse. The stop, like everything else in Snozlund, was covered in red, green, and gold tinsel, bunting, and wreaths. A light snow was coming down, and sparkled in the streetlights. Kate, Mother Mary, River, and Nona were nowhere to be seen; they must have gone on an earlier tram. They had only waited a few minutes before a tram arrived. It was being driven by an older gentleman in a navy uniform with sparkling silver buttons. "Ya goin' down t' Hays' Market fer the ball?" he asked as though it wasn't obvious, giving them a wink.

"Yes, we are," Mal answered. "Thank ya kindly."

They all boarded the tram and headed for Hays' Market. When they arrived at Crawford Palazzo, where the ball was to be held, forty-five minutes later, they left the tram and the older gentleman behind. Zoë took Mal's elbow. Kaylee took Simon's. Officer Raymond was waiting at the door for Inara, dressed in a dashing tuxedo and a black derby. "Hello, Miss Inara," he said, smiling. "Brought you a corsage."

While he was pinning the sprig of holly berries to Inara's dress rather ineptly, the other two couples entered the foyer and waited for their names to be read off the cards. Of course, Mal had given each of his crew members a fake name, one he thought wouldn't be easily remembered.

"Captain Percy Longshore and his wife, Mrs. Wanda Longshore!" the reader called out as Mal and Zoë entered. Zoë shot Mal a death glare. "Wanda?" she whispered.

"Wash said you looked like a Wanda," he replied sheepishly.

"Dr. Phineas Bogg and his wife, Alice Bogg!" was the cry to which Simon and Kaylee entered.

"Wow!" Kaylee exclaimed softly to Simon. "Will ya look at all this? This is right purty."

Simon was scanning the large room for his sister. He didn't see her, but the room itself was beautiful to look at. The entire building had been carved out of ice, and the ballroom had a high ceiling and stained ice windows. The ballroom was lit with strands of twinkling Christmas lights and arrangements of candles of various sizes and colors, and one very large chandelier suspended from the ceiling with sparkling crystals dripping from it. There were several ice sculptures around the room of famous Snozlund inhabitants. Tables filled with fancy foods and drinks were set up as well, and waiters waltzed about the room carrying shiny silver trays.

"Isn't that Mother Mary over there?" Kaylee asked suddenly, pointing across the room.

There was a woman who did look a lot like Mother Mary at the far side of the room, but she was swigging heartily from a flute of champagne. "Don't the Followers of the Second Coming preach temperance?" Simon asked confusedly.

"I thought so," Kaylee answered, just as confused.

Then Kate appeared next to Mother Mary. Before Simon could get across the room to talk to them, someone had gripped his hand heartily. "Dr. Bogg?"

"Uh, yes?"

"I'm Colin Stringfellow," the man said eagerly, pumping Simon's hand up and down. "I'm really a fan of your early work on mental transmogrification and synapse rewiring. I always thought you were older, though."

"Uh, I get that a lot," Simon answered.

"I thought it was brilliant the way you founded that school to work with young people with advanced mental capabilities!" the young man gushed.

Simon looked at him, horrified. "I did what?"

"You know, the Capon Academy?"

"Thank you so much," Kaylee said smoothly, trying to cover for the odd look her "husband" was giving the young man. "There just aren't enough supporters of our work these days. If you'll excuse us…" She grabbed Simon's elbow and propelled him across the room to Mother Mary and Kate.

"Good, you're here," Kate said. "I can't find… uh… Sister Rebecca."

Simon snapped out of his shock at finding out that his doppelganger had been an evil-doer. "What? You lost my sister?"

"She said she was going to take Nona to get some punch. Then they disappeared."

Mother Mary took a hearty swig from the flute. "This is great!" she exclaimed. "What is it?"

Kate looked strangely at Mother Mary. "Champagne, Mother."

Mother Mary hiccupped. "Couldn't be champagne," she slurred. "Too fruity."

At any other time, this would have been the point where Simon and Kaylee would have laughed. Unfortunately, the fact that River and Nona were missing was no laughing matter. "Where should we look?" Kaylee asked.

"Can I have another?" Mother Mary was asking a waiter. The waiter shrugged, then nodded and handed her another flute.

"How many have you had, Mother?" Kate asked.

"Two? Three? Aww, who knows! It's great stuff!"

Jayne, meanwhile, was waiting in the foyer of the palazzo. He was wearing a long wool overcoat and, frankly, was starting to lose his nerve. Hopefully Jimena would be along quickly and he could move the plan along.

"Jayne?" a voice said from next to him, and he turned. Jimena was standing there.

"Whoa," Jayne said softly, taking in the beauty of the woman next to him.

Jimena had pulled up her hair into a high ponytail and curled the whole thing, so that curls were dripping down her neck to her shoulders. She was wearing a fuchsia dress with black leaves spiraling on it. Her shoes were the same color. And around her neck was the same Celtic cross she'd been wearing earlier. "Hello."

"Hi…" Jayne was stunned. "Nice… to see you."

"Are you ready?" Jimena asked, gesturing to the ballroom doors.

"Actually," Jayne said, "I hoped ya would come with me. I've got a bit o' a surprise fer ya."

"Really?" Jimena's eyes lit up. "How thoughtful of you!"

"It's back on Serenity," Jayne explained. "It'll be a bit o' a walk."

"No it won't," Jimena said with a knowing smile. "The tram's just over there. We can take that back to the docks."

They walked down to the tram stop, hand-in-hand, in the softly falling snow. "Jayne," Jimena began earnestly, "I've just wanted to tell you how much I admire you and your crew."

"Uh, they're not my…"

"I just think the work you do is so meaningful," Jimena continued.

Jayne almost did a double-take. "The work we do?"

"You know, delivering medicine to sick children? At least, that's what your pilot told me you do."

"Oh! Right. Well, it's good honest work," Jayne said.

"And I think you're very handsome," Jimena told him. "I mean, you are so much better than Simon."

"No arguments here."

"He's just… a pansy," Jimena said. While Jayne didn't think the doctor was "a pansy," based on the last few months and the recent events involving his sister, the compliments from Jimena were going straight to his head. "You're what I want, Jayne. A real man. Someone strong and worthwhile, someone who can fight his own battles."

They were the only ones on the tram, which was good, because they were doing some rather disgusting kissing. They got off at the docks and headed for Serenity. The ship was apparently empty. Jayne led Jimena to his bunk.

"Oh, Jayne!" Jimena said, obviously touched. There was a small round table in the center of the bunk with lit candles and plates of hot food on it. "How lovely!"

"Fer ya, m' lady," Jayne said with an exaggerated bow.

"Oh!"

Jayne helped Jimena out of her coat and threw it roguishly across his bed with his own. He pulled out her chair and spread a white cloth napkin in her lap. Then he hurriedly went around the table and sat down in his own chair, putting a napkin in his own lap.

For awhile they ate and talked, and made goggle eyes at each other across the table. Mostly Jimena talked, and Jayne made goggle eyes. Jimena was a fascinating conversationalist, that was for sure, and she had Jayne under her spell, and she moved things along very quickly. The night, at least from the Jayne-is-the-key-part-of-the-plan standpoint, was crashing and burning.

After awhile of waiting upstairs for Jayne's signal, Wash went down the stairs as quietly as possible and looked down the ladder to Jayne's bunk. He was prepared to see many things; he was not prepared to see what he saw.

Jayne was tied to his own bunk. Jimena was standing before the bunk in some sort of leather cat suit – "GAH!" Wash exclaimed, mostly quietly – and carrying a riding crop, which she kept whacking against her hand. "You've been a very bad boy," Jimena said, circling closer to Jayne, close enough to either kiss him or smack him with the crop. She smacked him with the crop. Wash flinched, then hurriedly looked back to make sure he hadn't missed anything important.

"But I like bad boys," Jimena continued, giving Jayne another whack. She leaned in closer, and bit his nose. "Oh, I like them."

Wash flinched again and looked away, laughing too hard. When he looked back, Jimena was sitting on top of Jayne, straddling the larger man. "Now, let's hear some more about this plan," Jimena ordered. She held up the crop as though Jayne needed encouragement.

Wash smacked his forehead with his hand. What had Jayne told her? Was he going to get in trouble? Was the plan all for naught?

He needn't have worried, because a thunk from below drew his attention. He looked down just in time to see Jimena, ostensibly unconscious, slide off Jayne's bunk. The man himself sat up, wiped a hand across his nose, and leaned over to pluck something from the pile of his date's clothes. He looked up at Wash. "Got it." He handed the pilot Jimena's walkie-talkie. Wash cracked open the back compartment and drove a screwdriver deep into the works, scrambling it from further usage.

In the bridge, Wash set a course for Hays' Market as Jayne watched. "So, how'd ya get her in ta the cat suit?" Wash asked.

"I'm very skilled at th' art o' flattery," Jayne replied, only a little proudly.

"No denyin' that," Wash agreed. "Cap'n my Cap'n, we are headed fer yer location and should be there within fifteen minutes," he said into his own communication device.

"That's fine, Wash, bring 'er in," Mal replied.

Back at Crawford Palazzo, Simon and Kaylee had almost exhausted the list of places that River would have gone with Nona. "You don't think she went back to the Playhouse, do you?" Simon asked.

"Why would she do that, when she knows we're leavin' day after t' day?" Kaylee asked.

"I'll ask the tram driver if he saw them," Simon said, and hurried down to the stop. The tram was parked, waiting. He knocked on the doors and the driver opened them. "What's that, son?" the driver asked.

"I'm just wondering… have you seen a teenager, Follower of the Second Coming, with a little girl in a wheelchair? Did they get on the tram?"

The older gentleman shook his head. "They didn't get on my tram, son." Then he thought of something. "I did see them, though."

"Where did they go?" Simon asked eagerly.

The driver smiled. "They're 'round back in the Star Garden."

Simon, shivering, followed the driver's directions. The Star Garden apparently was nothing more than an incredibly large ice rink skirted with star-berry bushes and cement benches. Then he chanced to look up, and he realized why the garden had its name – the stars seemed especially close and bright here.

At the far end of the garden, he saw River and Nona. He could hear his sister speaking as he approached. "See the stars, bird? The stars are close enough to touch, to eat, to drink. Someday you'll go back to the stars, and then you'll be able to fly again." There was a pause, in which normally Nona would say something. River nodded as though the girl had spoken, then said gently, "Making people sad is part of life, bird." She was quiet, then continued, "I make lots of people sad, bird." Another pause where Nona could have spoken, and to River, she probably did. River smiled. "Thanks, bird. We will be best friends forever, no matter when you go back to the stars."

Simon didn't have the heart to break into that conversation.