Interview with a Serial Killer
Summary: What if Chucky managed to get on CNN before he was turned into a killer doll? Join us as we solve that mystery on... (Title goes here)
Psycho: Hello Everyone and welcome back to CNN Tonight! We apologize for the abrupt interrupition in the frequency system, now we can get back to our regularly scheduled-
Guy in rhe audience: Hey! Where's the other guy?
Psycho: Wh-what other guy?
Guy: You know, the real host?
Psycho: Uh... he took a vacation. I'm taking over.
Guy: But you're just a kid!
Psycho: I is 14, thank ye kindly!
Guy: ...
Psycho: No, as I was saying, tonight we have a very special guest. The renowned suspect in 15 brutal murders and a very close friend of mine: Charles Ray!
Guy: But you were supposed to interview- (protests is cut short by a knife in the throat)
Psycho: Oh sh-t, he actually came... I mean hey Chuck!
Chucky: Don't call me that!
Psycho: Ehehe... right. Why don't you come on up here?
Chucky: Right.(walks up onto the stage and sits down across from Psycho)
Psycho: (coughs) So Mr. Ray, why don't you start by introducing yourself?
Chucky: But you already know me!
Psycho: But they don't. (Points to audience)
Chucky: Ugh, whatever. Hi, I'm Chcuky. The end.
Psycho: Whatever, close enough. (shuffles papers around) So Mr. Ray-
Chucky: Call me Chucky.
Psycho: Okay, "Chucky", most of the people here want to know why you chose the life of a serial killer.
Chucky: Well, it all started in the summer of 1492... or 1979, whichever sounds more resonable to you.
Psycho: ...
Chucky: I had just gotten into a passionate relationship with a beautiful woman, Isabella.
Psycho: Nice name, is she foreign? Roman maybe?
Chucky: No, she's from San Antonio.
Psycho: Oh.
Chucky: Anyway, we had been dating for about two years, and I was thinking "This chic has got to be the one!" So I knew I had to propose to her, before the happiness ended. I bought the biggest diamong ring I could find and ran back to our apartment. But when I got in there... my twin brother was all over her...
Psycho: All over... how?
Chucky: THEY WERE HAVING SEX!
Psycho: Oh my-
Chucky: THE WOMAN I LOVED WAS HAVING SEX WITH MY TWIN BROTHER! WE WEREN'T EVEN IDENTICAL, SO IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE!
Psycho: Chu-
Chucky: BUT DID SHE CARE? NO! AFTER I CAUGHT HER AND HIM, SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID "oh! Chucky, I have to tell you now, I wanna break up." LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL! SO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?
Psycho: I can only imagine.
Chucky: I BROKE INTO THEIR NEW APARTMENT AND SLIT THEIR THROATS AND WRISTS WHILE THEY WERE WATCHING A MOVIE!
Psycho: Oh dear...
Chucky: But you know what? (gradually calms down and sits back in chair) It was worth it. the blood spilling onto the floor, the screaming, ah... you don't know how good it feels when you've caused that!
Psycho: Oh, yeah, I-I'm sure it feels great! (mutters) I knew I should've let my sister do this!
Chucky: Pardon?
Psycho: Nothing! So, after you killed them, what made you do it more?
Chucky: Oh you know, killing is and addiction like any other drug.
Psycho: Really?
Chucky: Yeah, it just felt right, and I couldn't stop myself! Now, I got the police on my tail, 5,000 people against me, and a slight case of asthma that can really be a bitch.
Psycho: I didn't know you had asthma... (pulls out inhaler from her pocket that reads "CLR" across it in gold letters)
Chucky: Yeah, I lost my inhaler though. It must've fallen out of my pocket on the street.
Psycho: I'll send for another one for you after the show. (drops inhaler and crushes it with her foot)
Chucky: What was that?
Psycho: What was what?
Chucky: Nothing...
Psycho: How long have you been in the game?
Chucky: About 5 years, and they still haven't caught me!
Psycho: Impressive. You really need to teach me some of this stuff.
Chucky: You mean that?
Psycho: Yeah! It's so amazing that they haven't even caught you!
Chucky: (beams) Yeah... I guess it is...
Psycho: So how many have you actually killed?
Chucky: About 30. They only caught 15 of the cases.
Psycho: What happened to the bodies of the other fifteen?
Chucky: (burps) Waste not want not!
Psycho: (gulps) Well... Um... I think it's time we went to a commercial!
Next segment: The Love of one Midget to be