Chapter 2: The love life of a midget to be...

Psycho: (clears throat and sips a glass of water) Welcome back folks! As you know, we have here with us Mr. Charles Lee Ray-

Chucky: (waves and winks at the some girl in the front row and makes a 'call me' motion with his hand)

Psycho: -the famed serial killer...

Girl: (screams and runs away)

Chucky: (pouts and leans back)

Psycho: Now, we've covered why youdunnit, but now here's a probing question for all celebirties: Who are you dating, being engaed to, and/or sleeping with? And who have your past relationships been with?

Chucky: Well Psycho, you of course know about my relationship with... (twitches) Isabella...

Psycho: (nods) Meep.

Chucky: But I have seen many other beautiful women. Last month at a club, some Asian babe, Sadako, went home with me and it was hot up in there!

Psycho: I'm sure it was...

Chucky: I mean we were all into each other!

Psycho: That's nice...

Chucky: She was so smokin' hot! Whatwith her huge bo-

Psycho: (waves her hand as if to stop him) Hehe... As much as I would like to hear about your... "experiences"... We do have only an hour.

Chucky: Oh, right right. We broke up seven days later. But then I met this pretty young girl... Meh, I can't remember her name. I only remember who gives me the best-

Psycho: Nyet!

Chucky: Oh, sorry. Then I saw this other girl... We didn't sleep together, but I remember her name! I believe it was Zoot or something. She was a blondie. Can't really do much with them. Haha! Except cut 'em! Right? (eyes Psycho's yellowish hair)

Psycho: Um... Yeah... (ducks under table and comes back up with a gray beanie over her head) Is that it? Or are you now-

Chucky: Oh yeah! There's my baby! Come on up here darlin'!

(A girl with long red hair walks up onto the stage and shakes Psycho's hand before sitting down)

Psycho: And who is this?

Girl: My name is Tiffany. I'm Chucky's new girlfriend. (smiles and pets Chucky's hair)

Chucky: Ain't she somethin'? Come here you sexy little thing!

Tiffany: (stops him in the middle of him trying to kiss her) Not now sweety! We can't waste this nice girl's time, now can we?

Chucky: Fine... (pouts)

Psycho: Thank you Tiffany. I must ask you, is that your natural hair color?

Tiffany: Yep, I'm thinkin' of getting it dyed though. How do you think I'd look with blonde hair?

Psycho: I think you'd look alright.

Chucky: Nothin' cuter than a littleblonde baby! (hugs her)

Tiffany: Oh you! (practically pounces on him and smothers him with kisses)

Psycho: Um, I don't mean to interrupt, but...

Chucky: Oh yeah.

Psycho: So, how long have you two been together?

Chucky: Two days! Ain't it amazing?

Psycho: Um... Yeah!

Chucky: So amazing... that I want to do this... (gets down on one knee in front of Tiffany)

Tiffany: Chucky... What are you...

Chucky: Tiffany... When I met you... you were just a waitress in a cocktail bar... And I just thought you were a slut like the rest of them...

Psycho: Wow, that's romantic.

Chucky: You say somethin', blondie?

Psycho: Nu-uh!

Chucky: (turns back to Tiffany) And I just want you to know... That I was wrong... You're the prettiest, smartest-

Psycho: (mutters under her breath) Wait until the fourth movie comes out...

Chucky: -sexiest, most charismic girl I've ever known...

Psycho's brain: How many times has a word with the phrase 'sex' been used? This guy is such a perv! And I didn't know his vocabulary went out to words like charismic... Then again, I can't be one to talk... not even mine does...

Chucky: And I just want to do this... Tiffany... Will you marry me? (holds out a little 25 cents ring with a big plastic diamond on it)

Psycho's brain: Cheapass...

Tiffany: OH MY GOD! YES! I DO I DO I DO! (jumps on Chucky and kisses him passionately)

Psycho: Sniff... That's so romantic...

Chucky: (ends the kiss) I vow to be the best psycho killer husband a girl could ever want!

Tiffany: And maybe I can leave Peta one day and join you! I love you Chucky!

Chucky: I love you too... Sadako...

Psycho: Oh, this should be good.

Tiffany: 'Sadako'? Who's Sadako?

Chucky: Uh... Um... J-Just a girl I used to see! But we broke up! You're all I care about now!

Tiffany: If you 'care' about me so much, why can't you even remember my name?

Chucky: You just remind me so much of her!

Tiffany: Oh! So now you're comparing me to her?

Psycho: This is really good! (quickly turns around, dials a number on her cell phone and whispers into it) Can you see him? You can? Good. Yeah... Yeah... No... Alright... Whencan you make it? 10:00? That's good, the show'll be over by then. Thanks Chief. Bye. (hangs up and watches the screaming and fighting)

Chucky: Look! If you can't forgive one little mistake, then maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore!

Tiffany: I agree! (takes the ring off and throws it in his face) I'M LEAVING YOU CHARLES RAY! (runs out crying)

Chucky: (slumps down in his seat with his face buried in his hands)

(The room is silent for about 5 minutes)

Psycho: ...I think that pretty well.

Chucky: You do too? (not sarcastic)

Psycho: Yep. One of the better breakups I've seen.

Chucky: I didn't know how else to let her go. (leans back) I'm a free man again!

Psycho: You wanna cut to a commercial? Maybe go get a refund on that ring?

Chucky: Yeah, okay.

Psycho: Stick around, we'll be right back!

Next Chapter: Social life? What's that?

What is Psycho up too? Stay tuned to find out!