So here he was, blatantly ignoring the most important meal of the day. Our Snape grumbled and pouted, and generally threw a silent tantrum as he drummed his fingers on the table, awaiting the meal to be over.

Blasphemer.

Only someone like a lactose intolerant potions master who has never seen a beach in his life would sit here, ignoring the snap crackle and pop of the cereal before him.

However, the owl post arrived. Usually, this did not interest dear Severus, for he had rarely received mail (Save for Quibbler junk mail and invitations to try a new perfume)

But…behold! A barn owl dropped a very ornate envelope, stuck its beak in the potion master's cup, and flew off, clipping Severus' head with its wings.

With his signature sour pout, Snape dumped his goblet out on Professor Flitwick's shoes and poked the letter with a hesitant finger. No, it wasn't true. It was a mistake. Severus Snape did not receive mail. He couldn't!

Then Severus froze and glared up and Dumbledore. He had something to do with it! It was a trick! But the fabled Headmaster of Hogwarts did not seem to notice the death glare, and continued to happily munch on a marshmallow cauldron from his cereal bowl. With a huff, our Severus turned back to the envelope.

Yes, his name was there, Mr. Severus Snape in ornate, loopy, golden handwriting. It was…his handwriting.

Ignoring the shock of the faculty around him, ("Sweet Georgia Brown! Severus got a letter!" "A love letter! A love letter!" "Drank some Felix Felices, Snapey?") Severus ripped open the letter and held it close to his nose to see.

My Dear Severus,

We have not spoken in some time, my friend. We ask you humbly to join us for the Polker Society this evening. If you do not come, we shall simply come and collect you. We are sure Dumbledore won't mind. He has been invited as well. It will be fun, Albus has one mean poker face.

Sincerely, and always yours,

The Vampire Polker Society

P.S- We will not change our Purposeful typo. Polker is too a word. Stop asking us.

With a look of revulsion, fear, and whatever else was on this enigmatic mind, Snape looked at Dumbledore's profile. He merely got a peace sign and a box of Sorcerer Crunch levitated to him in return.

-insertscenechangehere-

Naturally, as all of you know, you have to look presentable for a get together. It is usually a mark of respect to show up on your host's doorway with neat presentable attire, and maybe a bottle of wine handy. Snape knew these acts of courtesy well, despite his rare efforts to exercise them

So here he stood, in nothing but his knickers and a toothbrush behind one ear, staring forlornly into his closet, all a mass of black. It had been some time since he had an outing. What would a Potions Master wear? Our dear Severus reach forward to snatch a set of black velvet robes when a light voice exclaimed behind him:

"No, Don't wear that Severus! You must be mad, man!"

Severus spun, and twitched his hanging cloak over his body. Dear Albus was sitting cross legged on his bed, pointed boots taken off for courtesy. He was a sight, bright turquoise robes and a matching hat, all adorned with little silver stars.

"You need some diversity, Severus, or at least some sun!" Dumbledore the Great said, in a tone that sounded as though Albus invented the very meaning of fashion.

"Here, allow me to help you!" the annoyingly cheerful old man said, and twitched his wand. A set of emerald robes flew toward Severus and knocked his cloak away, now causing the pasty man to clutch these new robes to himself in the attempt to cover himself.

"Where did you come from?" our poor Severus asked, too stunned to think of anything too self preserving.

Dumbledore gave him a surprised look. "The door. Where else?" he asked, as if Snape asked what two plus two was. "Well" the old man said, leaping off the bed, and grabbing his boots. "I suppose I'll wait for you outside. Change quickly please, I do not wish to be late!" He briskly walked forward. "I do hope you like the color" the headmaster said, winking, and shut the door behind him.

Severus looked down. It was a brighter green than Slytherin house colors. A note was taped to the front: Don't you wish you had eyes this color? Remember- Dress to impress!

Potter's Eyes.

There was no denying it. The score stood at Dumbledore: 2 Snape: nil

Bloody polker cult.

-zomgchapter-

Next time!

The Polker Cult meets!

And grapes, cheese, and the Milk Convention!