/I don't own anything you recognize in this story. /

Chapter Four

Staring sullenly out the window of his room, Balian watched the activity passing by. Too busy to look around them, the people didn't notice his quiet watchful stance. Even if they did notice and wonder whom this curiously dressed man in the window was, Balian wouldn't have cared.

A soft knock on the door to his room made Balian turn around in disgust. Who of all people wanted to come see him so soon after he arrived? No doubt Sibylla, but he was sure that even she would have the courtesy to leave him in peace for a few minutes.

As the door opened, a stout man entered the room and bowed to Balian. Balian barely nodded back in return, wishing for the man to say his peace and be gone. There were too many things on his mind without visitors dropping in as well.

"My lord Balian, my lady Sibylla has bestowed upon me to help you get ready for dinner," the man said breathlessly, eager to please the looming man before him.

"I can take care of myself, thank you," Balian stated simply. He wasn't going to allow Sibylla to control him so.

"I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter, Master Balian. I have my orders," the man said simply, apparently not afraid of anything.

Disappointed that he had no affect over the man, Balian turned back to the window, his thoughts wandering off into the unknown. How much time has passed, Balian didn't know, but when the man across the room cleared his throat loudly, it was enough for Balian to jump in surprise and disgust.

"My lord, mistress Sibylla wishes you to hurry in your dressing—she wishes to have a chat with you before dinner," the man said curtly.

Balian frowned. So is this the way she wanted to play, was it? Well, if that was the case…he shook his head disgustedly and walked away from the window and began to strip down to his smallclothes, conscious of being watched bluntly by the man, making sure that he did the lady's bidding.

Finally dressed, Balian turned to the man who was still standing at the door. The man was still staring at him curiously. Didn't the man know his manners when he was standing in another man's room?

"I'm ready, sir," Balian told the man.

The man nodded in satisfaction. "Very good, sir. Follow me, if you will."

Turning on his heel, the man walked out the room and Balian followed silently. After winding through the hallways and out into the courtyard, the man stopped suddenly with Balian nearly colliding into the back of him. Nodding towards a certain direction, the man smiled slightly.

"May I present you to the lady Sibylla?" he stated and stepped backwards, disappearing behind Balian.

Balian's heart raced as he spotted Sibylla standing serenely under a lone tree not far away. When she caught his eye, Sibylla gestured for him to come to her. Balian did her bidding and walked towards her, stopping just a foot away from her, gazing at Sibylla up and down.

"You are beautiful," he said softly.

And indeed she was. A light blue dress flowed gracefully down her body, narrow at the top and widening in a sweeping circle at her feet. A silver tiara was fixed in the center of her forehead with the gauzy netting resting down at the shoulders in the back. It was hard not to look at anything else as it paled in comparison to her.

Sibylla smiled graciously. "Thank you for the compliment, lord Balian. You look grand yourself. Shall we walk?"

She gestured towards the gardens where an occasional gardener was amongst the flowers, pruning flowers and pulling weeds. Balian nodded in agreement and soon they were walking side by side, not saying much but just looking.

After several moments of silence, Sibylla turned her face to Balian. "I've missed you so much this past year, Balian."

"Why should you, I am nothing much, my lady," Balian said stiffly, determinately looking at the flowers they were passing, trying not to stare at Sibylla.

"Haven't you thought of your time here, Balian?" Sibylla asked softly, "the time we spent together and the fights that we fought?"

"I've had business to tend to. I have no time to dwell on other matters," Balian lied. He didn't want to tell her that he thought about her and Israel every day since he was gone. It seeped into his thoughts and snuck into his dreams when he least expected it. How could he forget?

"I see," Sibylla said, her voice betraying the disappointment of Balian's answer.

"I only wish to be a blacksmith, my lady. Just a simple blacksmith, and no more. It is a noble position that I have, you see," Balian explained, trying to explain his exhilaration at making something out of nothing for others. What he didn't tell her was the other reason…the reason of staying in France, for his wife and stillborn child.

"But being a knight is a noble position, is it not? People revered you, Balian and yet you scorn it all," Sibylla persisted.

"I was born a blacksmith, not a knight," Balian stated firmly, "and nothing can change that."

"You were born a knight, Balian," Sibylla said just as firmly, "born to do great things. Are you going to allow your father's sacrifice be in vain?"

"If you call my someone that had been missing from my life for many years my father, then he has because I never knew him. Didn't really take the time to get to know his son, did he, until the very end?" Balian exclaimed angrily.

So this is it, was it? To bring him out of the depths of nowhere to try to keep him there in Israel and follow the footsteps of his father than he really didn't know? Well, Balian didn't want it, not at all. Balian didn't want to follow someone's footsteps when he didn't even know where they led. It was like trying to find footprints in the sand—to follow them wherever they led because the waters washed them away never to be seen by human eyes again.

"I cannot change your father's past, or yours. But you can change your fate, Balian. You don't have to be like this," Sibylla pleaded.

"Well, so what if I don't?" Balian muttered under his breath. This was going worse than he expected and apparently for Sibylla as well.

"Balian, there's something that I want to tell you," Sibylla spoke up timidly, "something very serious."

Balian grunted to show that he heard her. Whatever it was, it was best to get it over with.

"The people here are…uncomfortable about having a female ruler," Sibylla continued, "they are wishing for me to marry in sixth months time or they'll kick me off the throne. Unless I find someone worthy of the throne and marry him, I will be thrown off and scorned wherever I go. I wish to marry you, Balian. You are worthy and would be a sound ruler."

Balian scowled. "So this is why you hastened for me to come here and at the pain of death so you could marry me and keep your precious throne? I'm not doing it. As much as I care for you, I'm sorry."

"But Balian—" Sibylla pleaded.

"I've made my choice." Balian turned and headed back the way they came from. He was going straight to his rooms and packing his belongings and going home where he belonged. Back to being a blacksmith and his bittersweet memories of his dead wife; it was a very tempting prospect.

"At least think it over," Sibylla called after him.

"I will think it over but it's not going to change my mind," Balian called behind him and soon disappeared in the distance with Sibylla standing still with tears running down her face wishing it turned out differently.