FORGIVABLE SINNERS
By Laura-chan
Summary: What if Anakin never had dreams of Padmé dying? Would he have fallen in the Sith's grasp? In this AU of RotS Anakin and Padmé, while trying to end the war, struggle to keep secret their relationship, even with their two children, Luke and Leia.
Time: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. AU
Rating: R or M
Pairing: Anakin/Padmé, my favorite.
Warnings: This story is rated R/M for a reason; in future chapters there will be strong scenes.
Also, don't mind too much my mistakes, please - I'm Italian and English is not my first language.
AN: Well, I'm finally back! Paris was simply beautiful; it was the second time I went to visit it and my friends and I had so much fun!
I suggest you all to download or buy Across the Stars, the absolutely wonderful theme of Episode II: Attack of the Clones… I always listen to it, especially if I have to write romantic scenes.
Now, enjoy chapter 5!
CHAPTER 5
A Jedi shall not know anger.
Nor hatred.
Nor love.
Padmé stared blankly as Zak smiled hopefully at her from his kneeling position in front of her.
'Will you marry me?'
How can one answer no?
She didn't want to hurt her old friend, but neither she wanted to give him false hopes.
The Senator was conflicted and it could be seen on her face, which made Zak confused: not knowing what was going on inside her head, he concluded on his own.
'Probably she'd wondering about what will I say about her babies.'
"Don't worry," he hurriedly added "I will take the babies as my own, so you wouldn't be ashamed by having children out of wedlock."
Padmé's eyes widened horror, his proposition finally hitting her like a hammer. 'Anakin!' her soul cried out.
"No!" she yelled suddenly, backing away from Zak.
Jobal, Ruwee and Sola, who were currently listening behind the dining room's door, exchanged puzzled looks, all thinking: 'Why had she said no?'
"I can't marry you, Zak. I don't want and won't marry you." Padmé said decisively.
Zak was lost.
"But why?" he cried out, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed in his chest by clawed hands.
"I've loved you for so long, why do you refuse me? WHY?" he asked desperately, standing up and gripping roughly her shoulders, shaking her violently.
"Let go of me! You're hurting me!" Padmé screamed, terrified by what her old friend had became.
Ruwee immediately entered the room and parted the refused man from his daughter: Zak fell on the floor, sobbing.
"Why, Padmé?" he mumbled miserably.
The young woman watched around her, seeing the pained but curious stares of her family and the pathetic figure of what once had been her strong-minded best friend.
"I don't love you." She said eventually, trying not to reveal more than necessary.
"But he could save you from the shame of being a single parent!" Jobal cried, looking at her with betrayed eyes.
"Why should I be ashamed of having a child that I love from the man I love?" questioned back Padmé, her 'Political' face back in place.
Jobal shook her head, passing tiredly a hand over her forehead. "Padmé, you're a Senator, a politician, someone who is constantly under everyone's eyes. You know that this pregnancy could ruin your reputation, especially if you're not officially married! If this… this man loves you like you love him, then he should ask your hand in marriage! Instead, he is away, leaving you alone to deal with the children by yourself!"
"But mom, we ARE married!" the young woman finally yelled, frustrated and tired by the whole ordeal.
Silence filled the room.
Padmé was gasping for air, trying to relax and breathe normally, while the other four occupants were still and unmoving from the shock of her outburst.
"What?" Sola whispered eventually.
"I…"
Suddenly, Padmé decided to tell everything: she had once told Anakin - when he had first confessed his feelings at the Lake Retreat - that she couldn't live a lie. In the end, she had lied about their relationship for 3 years: but now she was sick of it and wanted at least her family to know about her marriage… a marriage that united her to the man she loved more than anything, but that had doomed her for the rest of her life.
"I've been married for the past three years."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Ruwee asked breathlessly.
"Because it was forbidden: it should have never happened." She smiled through the tears that were falling on her cheeks.
"We tried to suppress our feelings and do our duty without letting our emotions get in the way… but we fell in love all the same, even if it was not allowed. Our love is passionate and very strong: we knew what was going to happen if we decided to get married, but we didn't mind the consequences."
She shook her head sadly.
"No, we minded them, but our feelings were too powerful to be ignored. It was forbidden and we didn't care."
"The Jedi." Sola suddenly stated, her eyes the size of saucers.
"You married that Jedi who protected you a few years ago."
Padmé nodded, surprised by her sister's sagacity.
"Jedi are not allowed to marry, they must not love nor have possessions: this is why we kept it a secret. I don't want my husband to be expelled from the Order because of me."
She smiled tenderly
"He was born to be a Jedi."
"Please, Padmé, tell us who is he." Ruwee pleaded, after sitting down on a chair.
"His name is Anakin Skywalker."
She heard a gasp run through the room and she grinned: she knew her husband was quite famous, being a powerful Jedi and a was hero.
"I'm Padmé Amidala Naberrie Skywalker." She said proudly.
"And I'm pregnant with his children."
Anakin spied from behind a rock the movements of the combat droids, then with the binoculars saw the signal - Mace Windu's raised hand - lifting from one of the mountains that surrounded the Separatist's base.
With a nod to the Clones' Commander, the young Jedi jumped out of his hiding-place, followed by two battalion of Clones.
With a battle cry, he destroyed the first unfortunate droids taken by surprise who he met on his way.
Confusion and disorder spread all over the camp transformed in battlefield, and one hundred Jedi chose that moment to attack with the rest of the Clones.
The battle was swift and determined from the beginning: the droids weren't expecting to be attacked and were no match for the Republican forces, who were soon victorious.
Anakin, who was finishing two droids with an elegant arch of his blue lightsaber, saw Obi-wan entering the fortress, probably in search of Grievous, who had understood immediately that the battle was lost and it was time to flee: the General had disappeared when the Clones guided by Mace Windu and Plo Koon had joined the fight.
"Anakin!" he heard his name being called and turned to see Mace Windu walking towards him, a bit dirty but with a triumphant grin on his face.
"The Separatists are defeated! The Clone Wars ended! The Republic has won."
"Master, I saw Obi-wan entering the base to follow Grievous."
Mace Windu nodded, his expression turning serious: "I'm sure Master Kenobi will be able to take Grievous by himself: but I'll send someone after him to be sure. Grievous cannot be let free, we absolutely need to destroy him if we really want the remaining Separatists to be left without a Commander."
With a gesture of his hand, Mace Windu asked Ki-Adi-Mundi to follow Obi-wan: thing the other Jedi did immediately.
Windu turned back to the younger Jedi: "Both you and Obi-wan had fought well: you'll be remembered in the Jedi Annals."
Anakin felt warm growing inside his chest: it was the first time that Mace Windu had complimented him; after all, the powerful Master had been very contrary to admit him in the Council.
After some time Anakin noticed Obi-wan exiting the base, limping a bit, with Ki-Adi-Mundi at his side: his old Master was tired and bruised, but - like Mace - he had a wide smile across his bearded face.
He patted his former padawan on the back and said "Grievous is dead: he was trying to escape on a ship. Finally, this destructive war has met his end."
"I'm glad, Obi-wan."
Anakin laughed, a wave of joy washing over him: finally! Finally, he would be able to spend more time with Padmé and his children.
'My children won't have to grow in a galaxy at war.' He thought gleefully.
Then it hit him.
'The children! Padmé!'
He had been away for almost a month and half... Padmé would be due soon!
'But I can't leave now!' he groaned mentally, frustrated 'I can't abandon my position as a Jedi… not even for my wife.'
He cursed, not for the first time, the Jedi Code.
"Anakin, what's wrong?" Obi-wan asked, concerned by the angry look on his friend's face. "It's a time of joy and you have a dark shadow in your eyes."
Casting a suspicious stare around them, the younger Jedi grasped Obi-wan's forearm and took him a bit far from the battlefield.
"Padmé will be giving birth soon: I want to stay with her… but I know I can't leave without a valid explanation."
Obi-wan arched an eyebrow.
"So that's what had you so worried." He said flatly, as the other smiled sheepishly, a hand rubbing the back of his neck.
Obi-wan sighed "There's no way you can go now: we still need to eradicate the rest of the Separatists in the galaxy. All of our forces are needed, and… " he threw at Anakin a penetrating glance "…you can't tell the Council you have to go because your wife is pregnant."
"I know." Anakin mumbled sadly, hopes vanished.
"Be patient, old friend: the sooner peace is restored, the sooner you'll be at home."
The young man just nodded, dark thoughts swirling in his mind.
"THE Anakin Skywalker?" mumbled Zak.
"The one who saved Chancellor Palpatine? The youngest Jedi Master in history?"
No, it couldn't be: Padmè couldn't be married to such an exceptional man.
"That's him." Padmé confirmed evenly.
The young man slumped on the floor once again: how could he possibly compete with Skywalker?
Anakin Skywalker: a name everyone in the galaxy knew. The Separatists feared him, while he was the Republic's hero. Children wanted to be like him, adults admired him; he was handsome, strong and charismatic: a true leader, and the best pilot in the entire galaxy.
Kenobi and Skywalker. Obi-wan and Anakin. Two names had become one, a symbol of the Republic, a symbol of the force of the Jedi.
Nothing was impossible for them: especially for Anakin Skywalker. He could transform the impossible in possible: like when he had successfully brought down what remained of the Invisible Hand, the Admiral Ship of the Separatists General, Grievous.
No one could have done it without killing himself: but he did.
Zak knew he had lost his chance with Padmé: she would never be his.
Padmé glanced at him sympathetically and she kneeled down in front of him.
"Zak, you're one of my best friends: I love you like a brother, but… my heart belongs to Anakin. I will never have another man."
She shook her head. "I didn't want to hurt you, but I thought it was better to tell the truth."
He stared back at her: this wonderful woman, who he had wanted so badly to possess, was now wife of another.
"Is he faithful to you?"
"What?" she asked puzzled.
"Is he loyal?"
"Yes, of course he is. He was the one who confessed first, you know? At first I refused him, knowing that our love was forbidden and we both had duties… then…" she closed her eyes, smiling softly.
"Then?" Sola asked, intrigued, sitting on the floor near her sister.
"We went on Geonosis to save Anakin's former Master, Obi-wan Kenobi; instead, we were captured by Count Dooku and sent to death." Padmé laughed a bit. "I thought I was going to die. I had already realised I was in love with him and it seemed the best time to tell him. He was overjoyed, but we put our feelings aside for the moment… you know, we still needed to get out of there alive."
"How romantic." Sighed dreamily Sola, as Padmé arched an eyebrow at her.
"Tell me about your marriage." Asked Jobal.
The young Senator stared at her mother for a moment, then nodded.
"He proposed on the ship that was taking us to Naboo." She continued. "I had expected him to do something like that: he's always been a bit possessive."
"Anakin was really sweet: he came into my room and he gave me a ring. This ring."
Padmé's hand moved in the bodice of her dress and took out a ring attached to a string, together with a japor snippet: it was a plain, simple, two-bands ring with an azure stone.
The young woman closed her eyes once again and fell deep into a memory……
(to be continued)
Review Responses:
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You guys warm my heart… I love you to bits! Keep the reviews coming!
So, Thank you very much to:
HaydensBaby41981, Riderazzo, Fari, FelsGoddess, Piscean Wisdom, JediHannah, RavenGarfield 4ever, Kyle Busch gurl or James Lafferty is the best, EmeraldEyes007, SerabiWarrior 88 (you think that was crazy? Just wait… kukukuku), Mei fa-chan, SWBabyGirl14, anakinsjedi349, Caralynne (well, are you happy she said no:grinning, I'm obsessed with Anakin and Padmé too), donnatellaMarks, Mae, minitica, mrs. Kenobi, JediSavior5 (do you read my mind, or what? Keep your Jedi powers away from me! jk), Serina Tsuki, PadmeAmidala118, Slayer rock chick, Erin, iloveobiwanmore, zafr0, nonyabuisness, Vivilp182, Shini6, 4u2r, Bittersweetbloodbaby, Snow Lepord, Tigger 889, Vatel, MaxCobra, Sara Bagwell.
eleonora: guarda, non sei l'unica sfigata per niente! Molti italiani sono su 'sto sito: molte mie amiche, per esempio. Io mi diverto un casino, specialmente dopo che fanfiction.it ha chiuso… continua a leggere, spero che questo capitolo ti sia piaciuto!
Anakin-Padme: well, I found the book in a library and I bought it… I've read it while in Paris, it's simply wonderful and Matthew Stover is really talented! In the end I cried and cried and my roommate watched me concerned… when I told her why I cried, she just flipped me off.
I love that track too! I simply adore track 2 (Anakin's Dream) and the final track (A New Hope and End Credits). But the music I love the most is Across the Stars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones Theme. Absolutely amazing.
ZebraFinch: well, don't I know it: I know some friends of mine that can be really sickening when they are with their boy/girlfriends… really, sometimes I hate them. But it's real, I have them under my eyes: not having any personal experience, I have to do with what I see everyday. I'm happy you understand my point of view.
I'm SOOOOO jealous of Padmé! I love her dresses and her man! But I also like her, as a character, and I admire Natalie Portman.
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Thank you:
Jeannie (you're a very faithful reviewer! I'm proud to have a reviewer like you!), Ashley (I loved how the book described the relationships between Anakin and the other characters... but it made the whole situation even more sad!), riam, wes.
AN: To be honest, on paper chapter 5 didn't end here, but I decided to divide it in two because it was really long and now it seemed a good point where to stop…
It seems that Zak is a really hated character... I just pity him: at least, he recognized the fact that Anakin is better than him!
I hope you liked this chapter… just let me know!