FORGIVABLE SINNERS

By Laura-chan

Summary: What if Anakin never had dreams of Padmé dying? Would he have fallen in the Sith's grasp? In this AU of RoS Anakin and Padmé, while trying to end the war, struggle to keep secret their relationship, even with their two children, Luke and Leia.
Time: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. AU
Rating: R or M
Pairing: Anakin/Padmé, my favorite.
Warnings: This story is rated R/M for a reason; in future chapters there will be strong scenes.
Also, don't mind too much my mistakes, please - I'm Italian and English is not my first language.

AN: Well, I'm finally back from my travel to Turkey… it was amazing and I loved it! Also, now I'm all tanned. Well, while away I wrote on paper chapter 10, now available for you online! More Zak torture in this chapter ( :dark laugh: I'm having too much fun with him)

Enjoy and don't forget to leave a comment (if you want).

Oh… before going away, I posted another story - one-shot - called Together: it's always an Anakin/Padmé, if you're interested you can go and read it at my profile.

CHAPTER 10

A shocked silence fell over the room, all eyes now fixed on the young man holding an infant in his arms, looking absolutely comfortable even with all the attention directed to him.

Anakin Skywalker grinned charmingly, turning to Jobal and addressing the stunned woman. "I'm glad to meet you again, Mrs. Naberrie." Then, he nodded to Ruwee, a sober and respectful expression on his face. "And you too Mr. Naberrie."

But his face changed again as he arched a brow, looking at a white-faced Zak, who seemed to wish for the earth to open and swallow him. "And who might you be?" the Jedi asked as politely as he could, having already guessed who Zak was.

Padmé hurriedly intervened, wounding an arm around his.

"Ani, this is Zak: you know, the friend I told you about?" she watched his face nervously.

From the blazing glare and dark frown Anakin wore, they all understood clearly he knew well enough and didn't like the other man one bit.

"Ah, yes." He said icily, "I remember."

Zak tried to become invisible, but he was no Jedi and failed miserably: he squirmed in his chair, visibly uncomfortable under Anakin's stare.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Anakin said through clenched teeth, challenging the other with the Force. Zak, who now felt the air around him becoming dark and heavy, looked on the verge of fainting.

"You too." He was able to murmur in the end, quickly looking down at his plate like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Sola took pity on the poor young man and led Anakin and Padmé to their seats in front of hers, "Anakin, you have to tell us everything about the victory against the Conferedacy! It was the most wonderful news we received in a long time!" She smiled at him. "After the ones of you killing Count Dooku, of course."

Anakin smiled weakly at the reminder of what he had done that time: he wasn't proud that he had killed Dooku. After all, it wasn't how Jedi behaved, even if Dooku had been a serious danger, like the Chancellor had said. The dark feeling of power and completeness still haunted him, sometimes, at night: he had felt like he could do anything. But the intensity of it and the darkness behind scared him. The HoloNET called him 'The Hero with No Fear', but that wasn't true: Anakin Skywalker was very afraid. Of losing those he cared about: Padmé, Obi-wan, now his children. He was afraid of failing, like he had done with his mother. But that powerful feeling had chased away the fear and left only satisfaction, and he didn't know if it was a good thing.

But excitement finally took over and he forgot his unpleasant memories, and he began telling them what happened on Yavin four (except for Sidious' conversation with Grievous, of course), his hands gesturing around and creating suspense, a wide smile on his face, as he used all of his talent as a narrator that Padmé knew since the days he had spent on Naboo as her protector; she giggled inwardly at the thought of 'aggressive negotiations'.

Throwing a glance in the corner of his eyes at Zak, Anakin couldn't help but notice the other man watching him spitefully. 'Heh, take this.' He thought, now truly enjoying narrating his adventures just to show off.

He smirked, beaming in hearing the Naberrie's praises and enjoying Zak's discomfort: he felt a dark pleasure in showing up at the man who tried to steal his wife.

Anakin had had for a long time this sometimes-unhealthy obsession with Padmé: and while he loved her more that anything else in his life, he was protective and possessive of her. The young Jedi hated when her work forced her to stay in close proximity to other men, especially young and handsome ones. In fact, Bail Organa was lucky he was married and not interested in Padmé at all, for Anakin didn't like how he and his wife were often together. Even if it was only work, it would make him quite jealous.

Because, he trusted his wife but not other men: after all, she was a charismatic, intelligent, young woman, without mentioning absolutely beautiful and tempting.

So, there was no surprise that he didn't want Zak near Padmé.

Padmé noted Anakin was enjoying a bit too much poor Zak's misery and kicked his shin, glaring at him, but receiving only a charming smile. She shook her head, while smiling fondly at her love.

Meanwhile, the two children had fell asleep in their parents' laps: Luke at first had watched around curiously, his big blue eyes wide open in wonder; Leia, instead, had decided to take immediately a nap, a little hand grasping possessively her father's leather tunic.

Padmé and Anakin both smiled tenderly while watching their children, and the Jedi sighed in contentment: he was finally at home.

So, here he was.

Anakin Skywalker

Wonder Jedi Boy, the Hero with No Fear, Mr Hotness according to the magazine 'StarNews', the best starpilot in the galaxy, the one who saved the Chancellor and killed Count Dooku.

When he had first entered, following Padmé, Zak had immediately recognised him. He was exactly how the HoloNET depicted him: handsome, strong, confident.

A true hero.

How could simple, tranquil Zak compete with him? Till the end, he had not truly believed Padmé about her marriage with Skywalker; after all, it was against the Code and, even if Padmé was a Senator - and a beautiful one to add that - Jedi weren't known to mingle with politicians: only with the Chancellor, occasionally.

Also, with the Clone Wars raging on, it was difficult to think that a Jedi had the time to stay somewhere else than the battlefield.

But all his hopes had vanished when Zak had seen Padmé and Skywalker enter holding their children. His heart was still beating painfully. When Skywalker had greeted him stonily, Zak had felt an aura of pure power coming from the Jedi and he had understood he was challenging him for supremacy: but Zak could not - in any way - win over a full-trained and powerful Jedi Master.

This thought made him angry and bitter. It wasn't fair! He had waited for more than twenty years to proclaim his love to Padmé and found himself beaten by someone who couldn't even marry!

He felt painfully sad and terribly outraged. Zak watched now as all the Naberrie's, the same family that had supported him when he had wanted to propose to Padmé, greeted joyously the Jedi sitting among them.

Red and rage clouded his eyes as Zak gritted his teeth in frustration: he wasn't even allowed to marry! Why, oh why, of all women in the world, this Skywalker took his Padmé?

Hate flooded in his veins: he wanted Padmé, he needed her, she should be his! Gorgeous, smart Padmé… Everytime he saw her, she was even more beautiful and charming than he remembered: she was defiant and wild, fiery but completely devoted to the Republic and to those she loved.

Included Skywalker.

Zak bristled at the name, despising it with every fibre of his being.

After all, if their marriage was discovered, Skywalker risked to be expelled from the Jedi Order……

That thought froze him, as a horrible but wonderful plan formed in his mind: Zak grinned madly as he thought of his revenge.

"I've wanted for so long to introduce you to my family as my husband!" Padmé smiled excitedly, her arms wrapped loosely around Anakin's neck.

"They love you." She continued, kissing his chin and letting herself be comforted by the feeling of safety his large and warm form inspired in her. Anakin smiled back, happiness filling him as he caressed the skin of her back that her dress left bare.

He was currenty sitting on the couch in Padmé's room, his wife seated in his lap, their children resting peacefully in their cribs near the bed.

"I love them too." He said, amazed by how her head fitted perfectly under his chin: it was like they were made for each other. 'And we probably are.' He smirked.

Anakin turned his head towards the cribs, observing adoringly the two little forms inside.

"I can't believe I have a family now." He whispered, tightening his hold on Padmé, the woman of his dreams, the woman he loved, his wife, the mother of his children.

A wave of emotion and elation went through him, making him stop breathing, as tears gathered in his eyes: he raised his real hand and covered them.

For most of his life he had been or felt alone; the time he had spent with his mother as a child often hadn't been enough: but they were slaves and they had to obey their master.

Then, he lost forever his mother when he went to Coruscant, only ten, to become a Jedi: and even if that was his dream since always, Anakin couldn't help but feel alone, nostalgia of his mother and Padmé gripping him. Also, the Jedi didn't become his family: they were too afraid of him, too awed by his powers to consider him one of them. The only one who had truly understood him, although he loved Obi-wan as a father and a older brother, had been Qui-Gon and he had died.

So, after ten years, he had met Padmé again: and his life had suddenly become better, the light of her love keeping the shadows and sadness away. He still couldn't believe that this splendid woman was his wife. And he couldn't have been happier, if it wasn't for the war keeping him away from her.

But now, the war was over and Padmé had given birth to two beautiful babies: his children, his son and his daughter. Luke and Leia.

He was complete.

Padmé felt his emotions and just hugged him to her, supporting him with her love and devotion, and Anakin adored her even more for this.

"Let's go to bed, Ani." She said softly eventually "It's been a long time since we've been together and I missed you." Padmé kissed tenderly his lips, never getting enough of their addicting taste.

"I missed you too." His voice was a low murmur, "So much, so much!" he began trailing kisses all over her neck and shoulders, glad to finally taste the sweet skin again.

Strong hands touched her sides, caressing them through the fabric of the dress.

They stood up, moving together towards the bed, never taking off their eyes from each other. And, as they spent hours getting to know again each other, making love with their mouths, bodies, souls and minds - quietly not to wake the sleeping babies - they couldn't help but feel their bond strengthen.

An arrogant sun ray disturbed Padmé's deep sleep: waking up almost immediately, she stretched her arms and back. She opened her eyes sleepily, wondering why she felt so sore…well, quite everywhere!

A movement to her side and a rough hand pressing against her stomach were enough for memories to invade her mind: she beamed as she turned to see her husband lying in the bed next to her, his expression relaxed and calm, an arm thrown over her waist possessively.

Padmé loved to see him like this, because it meant that in the end he was still the joyful, happy and young padawan she had fell in love with, not the harsh, strong man the war had created.

And while she loved him completely, both as the headstrong padawan and as the confident man, sometimes she missed the way his innocence characterised his face, voice and way of thinking.

She kissed him lightly on the lips, admiring not for the first time his gorgeous body, then she left the bed, wrapping her naked body in a light-blue tunic, to check on the twins: on her face appeared a motherly smile as she observed lying quietly in their cribs.

Padmé was amazed by the fact that they slept the entire night: she was informed that babies were known for keeping their parents awake almost all night. But well, if Luke and Leia decided to be good, she wasn't going complain.

The young woman didn't know how long she stayed there, admiring her children: she knew time had passed only when a warm body pressed against hers from behind, two large hands - one of flesh and blood, one covered by a glove - snaking around her waist.

"Padmè?" a voice asked sleepily "What are you doing up so early? And it's cold…"

With an amused glance she looked behind her, "That's because you're naked." She felt him smile against the bare skin of her shoulder.

"I'd prefer if you were too…" a hand caressed her tight, moving towards her hips and taking her tunic with it.

"Anakin!" she laughed, turning in his arms and kissing him. "Have you hadn't enough last night, mmmh?" she nuzzled his nose with hers.

"No." Was the amused answer, as he tried to catch her when she escaped him.

"You're really a sex fiend! You're going to kill me," Padmé said with a smile. "I'm still sore."

Anakin pouted. "This afternoon?"

Padmé laughed again. "More like tonight, darling." She ran back into his arm and he spun her around.

They kissed again, contentment filling them. They sat down on the bed, Padmé in Anakin's lap like the previous evening: she leaned against her husband's chest, noticing that he was gathering his thoughts as he caressed her hair gently. She wondered curiously what he had to say to her.

"Padmé…" Anakin finally said "… I want to leave the Order."

She froze

"But, Anakin! You… you can't, it had been your dream since you were a child!" she turned in his arms, straddling his tights and taking his face between her hands, "You were born to be a Jedi, to help people! You can't simply stop…."

He looked at her sadly but decisively, "I have decided, Padmé."

"But why?"

"I can't be a Jedi on one hand and a husband, a father on the other hand." His blue eyes stabbed hers, "I'm tired of having to lie when I want to see my wife, I'm tired of having to hide our marriage." His voice raised, as he bent his head "We're in love, we're married like billions of beings in the galaxy, and yet, because I'm a Jedi and you a Senator, we can't express freely our feelings. I hate it." He spat spitefully.

Anakin turned pained eyes to her, "Why can't I tell the world I love you? It is something to despise, to scorn? It's our love something we should be ashamed of?" he shook his head "No, I don't think so. I'm proud of being your husband, proud of you being mine, and only mine." His hands dug in her sides, pulling her closer to him.

"I'm proud too, Ani, and I hate too that we have to hide our marriage." She said, her lips only a breath away from his. "I'm proud of being the wife of the great Anakin Skywalker, and yes, I have to admit that I hate not being able to shout it at the top of my lungs. But, Ani…" she looked at him with pleading eyes, "Can you really leave the Jedi Order? Abandon all that you've accomplished in those long years? Can you forget all the precious memories of your adventures with Obi-wan?"

Then, in a whisper she said finally. "Can you really forget all of your dreams of the future adventures you could have?"

There was only a moment of hesitation, then. "For you and the children, yes."

Padmé shook her head, "Oh, Ani, I know, I know! But you would regret your choices. How could you not? You were born to be a Jedi, you can't help but wanting to help people, even those who cannot be saved. And I love you for this." She kissed his sweetly. "You would be in pain, you would be lost, and you would lose the good that is in you." A delicate hand brushed against his naked chest.

"If I fell in love with you, it was also because you were, you are, a Jedi: and even if I would love you no matter what, there would be always a part of you missing. I don't want that, Ani."

"Then what can I do, Padmé?" Anakin shouted, "What can I do? Tell me!" the grip at her sides turned almost painful.

"Stay in the Order a bit more, my love." She remained calm, but her heart bleed at seeing how he was divided, "Then, we'll see."

"It is such a horrible thing to have me always at home, with you, Luke and Leia?" he asked angrily.

"Of course not!" she retorted, "It would be wonderful, I'd be overjoyed… but the question is, would you, Ani? Would you?" once again, Padmé shook her head. "No, you wouldn't be happy, because a tranquil life isn't what you were made for."

Then, Anakin enveloped her in a hug, crying desperately, "I don't know what to do!"

Padmè stroked his soft blond hair, trying to soothe him.

"Oh, Ani…" She whispered, as a tear traced a path along her cheek.

(to be continued)

AN: well, I hope it was good enough for you! Just let me know!

If you want, remember that you can read 'Together'.

I finally have all the books of the saga! I already had 'Revenge of the Sith' and 'Attack of the Clones', before leaving for Turkey I bought 'The Phantom Menace' and 'Return of the Jedi', yesterday I bought 'A New Hope' (which I'm reading now) and 'The Empire Strikes Back'…

All, while watching the complete old trilogy in Dvd (I simply love it, especially now that in ep. VI there is Hayden instead of Sebastian Shaw) and the Dvd included in the soundtrack cd of RotS ( Star Wars: a musical journey; the saga told by the musics).

Important News: I read on Star Wars(dot)com that the date of release for RotS dvd is November the 1st! Joy!

What I wanted to know is if someone of you know when the complete trilogy will be available as a set (like - to explain better - the old trilogy in the revisited version in 1997). If you know something I would be forever grateful if you told me. Thank you.

Review Responses:

As always, a grateful 'THANK YOU' for your support!

Fanfiction(dot)net

Jazz-Skywalker, Amanda, meandmysharpie, JediSavior5, QueenApailana, Poet317, Cataracta, Vivilp182, Lily-Rose3, FelsGoddess, LaPapillon, donnatellaMarks, Vatel, Snow Lepord, Katie, Coral Candy, Warior, PhantomFan13, 2008ccampbell, Emily, Lilac Moon, Riderazzo (the 'Obsession' I have is only a normal comic, not a novel… I don't know how to explain better, sorry), kate, Nikki, iloveobiwanmore, crzyanifangrl, XxvicspolugbaxX , zebraFinch, Eriks leadinglady, chopsticks, emeraldeyes007, jessebelle, MidnightDaydream, Mei fa-chan, SWBabyGirl14, Charise, Fell Dragon, Eilianu, MeyaRose.

Medb: that was my mistake, I don't know why I wrote that: but as you can see now, I corrected nieces with grandchildren (I was really embarassed when I noticed the error). Thank you, by the way. About Anakin's apartment… it's not really his, it's an apartment for Jedi near the Temple… I had this idea because I can't see all the Jedi closed in the Temple: I think that some of them have to live outside… I appreciated very much your effort for constructive criticism, believe me. Thank you once again.

Adultfanfiction(dot)net

Riam, wes, jeannie, Kei-kun (you had a really interesting idea I'll probably use in one of my future stories… but I'm sorry - or not - to say that there won't be any Order 66 in this story… only something similar ), Samurai, kiss.