I reach out and I touch you
And I know that I need you
And I know that I need your touch
You reach out and touch me
And I know that I need your touch
Your Touch - Kutless

Brian

Despite the fact that Daphne had freaked him out all over again because she insisted that I let her look at the letter, Justin still let me fuck him. I would've been fine – Fine not content though – with just kissing him after he told me he loved me but he carried on, after dragging me onto the bed, hand sliding down my still clothed chest and to the bulge in my jeans, fingers stroking the rough denim. Well, if that's what Justin wanted then he was definitely going to get it. Especially since he was asking so nicely. Then he decided to still his hand and just keep it there as a reminder of what his hand could be doing at the moment. Teasing little bastard.

Growling, I reached down there myself, unbuttoned my jeans, pulled down the zipper, and released his lips. I got up on my knees struggling to get the tight jeans off my legs and, when I finally succeeded, I threw them on the floor. Nothing was underneath; I preferred it this way – Quicker Access – and tore off my shirt as quickly as possible. One man naked, one more to go. I hovered my body over the blonde's again, his blue eyes dilated and darker then usual. I liked how his eyes always got darker when he was horny and just waiting for me to plow into his perfect tight ass. He knew it too. He is such a fucking bastard. Albeit, a fucking hot bastard. I pulled his hands, which had been in my hair, above his head.

I held them there.

He acts like he hates it when I keep his hands captive like this but I know he likes it. I'm not blind and he always gets off on being trapped under me with nowhere to go. Not that I wouldn't let him go if he really wanted to. With my free hand I begin to slowly pull down the sweat pants that he likes to tramp around the house in. I hate/love it when he wears them, all loose and just barely hanging on his narrow hips and then managing to cup his ass just right so that I can't contain myself. "You're such a tease." He smiles under me, lifting his hips off the mattress so that I can get his pants off and so he can brush up against me.

"I'm sorry."

Yeah. Right. He isn't and he doesn't sound like it either.

"Liar."

He grins up at me again as I start to lift up his shirt. Then I realize something. It's not his shirt. It's my shirt. I raise an eyebrow and he knows that I know. He only looks up at me innocently. Extremely horny but innocently. "Why are you wearing my shirt? What did I tell you about that?" He knows I'm not really angry – Asshole – and he only shrugs his shoulders, tongue coming out to swipe his swollen lips. I don't give in to temptation and I stare down at him, fingers still tugging at the shirt he's wearing. "You have your own clothes." Though…this shirt looks really hot on him. Maybe I could tell him to leave it on while we're fucking because…yeah. Then again, he looks hot whenever he wears my clothes. And he knows it.

"Because these smell like you."

"Fucking stalk-"

I cut myself off although he knows what I'm about to say. Fuck. Totally the wrong thing to say. I clamp my mouth shut and mentally ream myself out with every curse word I can think of. "I didn't mean to say that." He doesn't say anything for a few moments and I realize that I've probably killed the mood and that he'll probably push me off and go check to make sure none of his things are missing. He then smiles at me. It's small and not as happy as it had been a few seconds ago but it's a smile nonetheless. "It doesn't matter." Yes. It. Does. He knows it too. He just won't say it. I know he's tired of…crying and being scared. He probably thinks that I think he's a coward or something stupid like that.

"Yes, it does."

There I go. I'm probably going to kill the mood for the rest of the night. He shifts under me and I try not to moan when his bare cock brushes against mine. I try my best to ignore it because this, the whole stalker thing that's going on, does matter. "I-can we talk about this later?" My cock agrees with him. My whole body agrees with him but my mind, and this is a first, disagrees. It's saying that we should talk now. I only nod, seeing his expression, and take his lips captive with mine, he arches into me automatically and I focus only on fucking my…Justin. Boyfriend. Lover. I don't know what to call him.

What do you call someone who lives with you that you kiss, fuck, and sleep with?

I guess he is my boyfriend…not that I'll say that out loud at the moment. Though I'll have to at some point. I push the thought away and reach over to my nightstand for a condom and bottle of lube. I rip the package open with my teeth, spit the trash somewhere, and hand him the condom. "Put it on me." He does as I ask without a word and only a smile. I inwardly gasp as his hands touch my cock. I wish he would've kept them there for a bit longer. He falls back down on his back, blonde hair splayed out on the dark blue pillow, pale body contrasting with the dark blue of my sheets – God, he's fucking beautiful. But that's what I think whenever he's lying on my bed, clothes on or off. That's what I think whenever I see him for that matter.

"Ready?"

I grab his legs and hold them on my shoulders, kneeling on my knees and staring down at the man who still looks too young to not live with his parents. He smiles up at me. "Yes." I wish he wouldn't smile like that but my wish doesn't come true. It never does. He always smiles like that – Lustfully, happily, dazedly, and…lovingly – when we have sex. I smile back; push forward into his tight orifice. I watch as his eyes squeeze shut, as his head digs back into the pillow and his fingers clench tightly into the sheets. He looks so…fucking wanton. "B-Brian…" I thrust forward again, my own head tilting back slightly but only for a few seconds. I want, have, to look at him. I move his legs so they wrap around my waist and I lean over, his leaking cock trapped beneath are stomachs, and press our mouths together.

I move again, his muscles squeezing tight around my cock, and I almost come right then. It probably had something to do with him gasping into my mouth as well. I bite down on his lip as my cock hits against his prostate, his body shaking and moving beneath mine. His hands leave the sheets and claw into my back, needing and tightly. I grab his hair in one of my hands to roughly tilt his head back so I can get clearance to his beautiful, pale throat and attack it, leaving marks over the once bare skin. He'll have to wear a turtleneck out tonight. At least it's going to be a cool night. "Fu-Brian," I aim for his prostate again, this time I accidentally moan into his mouth. "BrianBrianBrian!" For a moment I hope that, despite that the curtains are closed, that Ethan can see all of this. See how much that Justin loves me and doesn't miss him.

Justin's hands come to rest on my face, holding my head so he can kiss me, murmuring, under his breath, my name and how much he loves me. I'm tempted to tell him I love him too but I decided against it and kiss him long and hard instead, my cock hitting his prostate every thrust now. I let one of my hands wander to his cock between are stomachs and start stroking him in time to each thrust, thumb running over his slit causing another yell of my name to erupt into the room. I don't think I'll admit it but I love it when he yells out my name like that. "Brian – Faster." I obey, thrust faster and harder, my head falling into his neck as I strive to give him one of the best orgasms he can have. His legs tighten around my waist and I know he's close. Anytime now. I move my hand faster, wanting to finish us both off at the same time. And, simultaneously, we both come at the same time. "Jus-Fuck!" My voice is muffled by his neck.

His, however, is muffled by nothing and I can hear my name loud and clear.

I relax, letting my whole body rest on top of him. His legs fall off of me and neither of us say anything. We're both too busy catching are breath. I catch my breath by listening to his and feeling the rise and fall of his chest against mine. The come on our stomachs is sticky and I have the perfect idea on how to save water. We'll take a shower together – As usual – but then I realize that it doesn't matter because we usually end up taking long showers that don't conserve water at all but probably use more then use taking separate showers. I slowly lift myself off and out of him, tying off the condom and throwing it somewhere, before rolling off of him and next to him on the bed. I glance over at him. His eyes are closed.

"Thanks."

His eyes open and he just looks at me blankly.

"For what exactly?"

"For letting me fuck you even though you're upset."

He smiles at me and turns over on his side and drapes his arm across my chest. "It helps me forget so…I really should be thanking you." I shook my head. "No, I should because my dick was about to fall off." He chuckled, although it was muffled because he had buried his head in between my neck and shoulder. I knew he was probably going to fall asleep soon. He always likes to fall asleep after we have sex. "I'm serious. I really was going to kill Daphne if she hadn't left when she did." He chuckles again. "I'm sure she would've watched if you would've just came back and fucked me. She wouldn't have bothered us." I made a gagging sound.

"That's just what I need – your hag watching us have sex."

"I didn't know you were modest."

He was, of course, joking.

"I'm not modest, Taylor. She's already gotten to see me walk around naked a million times during the last two weeks. She doesn't need to watch me fuck too."

He takes his face away from my neck and looks at me. "Why not? We could get her to video tape it." I rolled my eyes. "And then what? Put it online?" The blonde next to me giggled tiredly. "They should be so lucky but, no you asshole. For our own personal use only." I grin and quickly correct him. "And Daphne's because I'm sure she'd say we have to let her watch it because she's the one who had to slave over the video camera and tape us." He smiles and kisses me on the cheek.

"Yeah, well, we could always hide it from her."

He kisses me again and slowly picks himself up off the bed. "Where you going?" He smiles at me over his shoulder before disappearing into the bathroom. "Shower!" I quickly jump off the bed and hurry inside after him. He's already inside turning the dials onto hot. Just the way I like it. I come in after him and turn them down slightly. My skins not has tender as his though…it does turn me on, the way his skin gets all flushed from the heat of the water. "You don't have to make it so hot, Sunshine." He grins up at me as I reach over, get the soap, and begin soaping up his body, hands lingering on every patch of skin more then needed. I know he'll give me the same treatment.

"You're right, Mr. Kinney. I'm sure you'll heat it up in a bit."

How right he was.

Justin

"Look what you did to my neck!"

I glared at Brian in the mirror as I looked at the hickies he had left me. He smiled, laughed and came up behind me, arm coming around my neck and pulling my back against his chest. "Don't act like you don't like it. You're lucky I only left…" I had already counted them and answered for him. "Ten! Ten fucking hickies! I'm going to kill you!" He laughed, arm still holding tight, and kissed me on the cheek, still laughing. I frowned at his image in the mirror and crossed my arms over my chest. "Don't laugh! You wait until next time. I'm going to leave you…a million of them." He didn't act scared at my threat and his mouth moved from my cheek to the back of my neck, his teeth skimming the flesh. I jerked away from him.

"Keep your mouth off of me, Kinney."

He pulled me back against him.

"Oh, don't pout. Although…you do look cute when you pout."

I didn't grin at him although I wanted to and continued to frown at his image in the mirror. He rolled his eyes, his other hand coming up to run along the skin of my neck. "Plus, it'll show everyone that you belong to me." I could hear the smile in his voice although he looked dead serious. I raised an eyebrow. "I don't think so. You aren't my…owner." Though I wouldn't protest if he did go out and buy a necklace that said 'Kinney's Property' or something like that on it. Brian smirked and his other arm wrapped around my waist, his hand sliding half way into the jeans I had put on to go to Debbie's in tonight.

"Yes I am. I picked you up off the street all dirty and poor, cleaned you up, fed you and you stayed. Like the good little kitten that you are."

I rolled my eyes, smiling on the inside though.

"I'm not a kitten."

I grabbed his hand before it could decide to sneak further into my pants. He smiled and tugged at the lobe of my ear with his teeth for a moment. "You're as cute as one." I snorted. "Yeah, that's just what I want to be pictured and thought of as. A kitten. Thanks a lot." Brian laughed against my neck and pulled me tighter against him, lips brushing against my cheek. "But, if you'd let me finish your description," I snorted again but let him go on with his ridiculous talk. "You're fucking hot in bed." I smiled, I saw as my cheeks turned pink in my reflection, and held his hand tight again. It had started to wander downwards. "Tell me something I don't know." He grinned and tried to inch his hand deeper into my pants again. "Stop, Brian!"

It came out as a whine but we couldn't be late for dinner at Deb's.

"You're also so fucking tight – So beautiful when you're below me in our bed moaning out my name…panting and gasping and taking me in."

Dammit. His hand grabbed my cock and he chuckled triumphantly. Groaning, I grabbed his arm and yanked his hand out of my jeans, spun around and pushed him away before he could do anything else. "We can't be late." He raised an eyebrow, tongue-in-cheek smirk on his face. "Well, I wouldn't be so needy if you'd go put a fucking shirt on." I begin to walk away and he grabs my arm and pulls me to a stop. "And not mine either or I'll be forced to make us late for dinner."

When we walk out of the building and towards his jeep, me in a black turtleneck, I can't help but look around cautiously. I'm aware of the fact that Ethan could be anywhere. Watching. Waiting for the opportune moment to jump out and steal me away. Not that Brian would let him but it was just something that was going on in my mind. Brian must've noticed my nervousness for his hand closed more tightly around mine and he began to walk faster towards his jeep. I only let go of his hand to walk to the passenger side of the jeep. When I looked down at my seat I nearly had a heart attack.

"B-Bri…"

The driver door opened and Brian looked at me and then looked where I was looking. On the black leather seat sat a picture. A picture of me. Sleeping on Brian's couch. Brian wasn't anywhere in the picture. He might've been at work or taking a shower or just…not in the premises. Cursing under his breath, Brian reached forward grabbed the picture and turned it over as if searching for a message. There was none. "Get in the jeep." I nodded and got inside wondering if the jeep was even safe to drive. Had Ethan tampered with the engine? Or the breaks? Or anything? Maybe there was a bomb…ok that might be going a little too far. This wasn't a movie after all but still. I was scared of my mind now.

Brian got into his seat, jaw clenched and an angry expression on his face. He practically sped all the way to Debbie's and I was sure we were going to get in a wreck if he didn't slow down. It was only when we were sitting in front of Debbie's house did he speak. "We're not going back there." I looked over at him, slightly confused. "What? What are you talking about? That's your home." Brian looks over at me for a second as if he's hesitant about his next words. His hand reaches over and comes to wrap around the back of my neck. "It's our home," He pauses for a second. "And you're obviously not safe there. I'm not going to have some sicko taking pictures of you and leaving them around for you to find."

"Where…where will we go then?"

"I don't know. I'll buy a new place. I can afford it."

I grabbed his hand before he could get out of the jeep. "You don't have to do this Brian. You love the loft. I – I can leave for a little while…leave the state. You don't have to do this…" Though, I don't think I can stand the thought of leaving him, even if it isn't forever and just until Ethan's caught and behind bars. Brian glares at me and slams the door of his jeep shut again. "What the fuck are you talking about?" I'm slightly taken aback at how…harsh his words sound but I act like I'm not. Not shocked. I quickly let go of his arm and put it back in my lap. "I just meant that you don't have to keep…that I don't want to be a hindrance to you. Brian, ever since you met me you've had to go out of your way to do things and," Brian shot me a look that clearly told me to shut up.

"I don't want to hear it, Justin. Do you really think I'd be doing any of this if I didn't want to? I don't just go around shoving acts of kindness is people's faces, you know," He looks at me for a moment. "I'm doing this because I – Justin…" He stares at me again as if hesitant on what he wants to say. I watch him closely, examining his eyes, watching the series of emotions filtering through his hazel orbs. He sighs and pulls his hand away from my cheek, which his fingers had been caressing softly as he spoke. "Let's just get inside. You aren't a hindrance no matter what your stupid insecurities tell you." I smile softly at him and lean over to kiss him before we walk inside. "Thank you." He doesn't answer me, instead he just gets out of the jeep, walks around and gets my door. He probably doesn't want me walking alone anymore.

Then we walk inside, his hand grasping mine.

"Hey, Sunshine! Brian."

I smile at Debbie but Brian must've not smiled because Debbie immediately looked concerned. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" The whole family already knew about the little letters. Brian had told Debbie first, well, after I had told Daphne, and she had proceeded to tell everyone who needed to know: Michael, Emmett, Carl and Ted. Brian didn't say anything at first. When he did he sounded extremely…pissed off. "We'll discuss it later. Let's just…eat first." I followed him to the table where Emmett, Carl, Ted, and Michael, someone I didn't know sat. Although things between Michael and I weren't the best…we were able to at least be in the same room without calling each other murderers and yelling at each other. Gus sat next to me. Gus had been staying with Debbie since Brian hadn't wanted him in any potential danger when the letters started popping up in the mail.

Brian noticed the man next to Michael and had no problem asking.

"Who are you?"

The man smiled. He was pretty good-looking, tall, muscled. He held out a hand towards Brian to shake. Brian hesitated and then took it. "I'm Ben, Michael's boyfriend." Brian seemed slightly surprised that Michael had gone off and gotten a boyfriend but smiled, nodded and dropped the man's hand. "He didn't tell me." Brian stared accusingly at his best-friend. Michael only shrugged and smiled over at Ben who smiled back. I couldn't help but notice how happy they looked. Well – They didn't have a stalker chasing after either of them… Maybe Michael would be nicer towards me now. After all, I know all about his unrequited crush on Brian. Maybe, now that he had someone, he would get over Brian and actually befriend me.

Debbie sat down at the table. Food still steaming. It must've just gotten done.

Emmett looked at me from across the table.

"How've you been doing, sweetie?"

I shrugged and smiled.

"I guess I've been doing alright…given the circumstances."

Emmett smiled sadly and nodded at Brian. "At least you have your knight in shining armor to protect you." I laughed. Brian didn't exactly seem to like being called a knight in shining armor. I grabbed Brian's hand under the table and smiled over at him. He still seemed peeved about the conversation in the car and, probably, about the candid picture that had been taken of me. Brian suddenly let go of my hand and got up from the table. "Carl, can I talk to you please?" The whole table silenced and the two men walked outside. Brian made sure to slam the door shut to keep listening ears from hearing. Everyone turned towards me obviously wanting an explanation. Ted cleared his throat.

"So, Justin, care to tell us what the infamous Mr. Kinney is so pissed off about?"

I shifted in my seat and shrugged.

"Nothing…serious," LIAR. "Just…there was a picture of me sleeping in the passenger side seat of the jeep. Wanna eat?" My obvious attempts to direct the attention of my friends elsewhere didn't work. Debbie nearly dropped the glass of water she was holding. "What? You sleeping? Was there a note?" I shook my head, reaching forward to get some mast potatoes hoping that everyone else would do the same. Michael's mouth hung open slightly. "What? Are you serious? Sleeping? What a sick fuck." I only nodded and got some of the chicken Debbie had made. It looked excellent. Too bad I wasn't feeling too hungry anymore. I should've kept my stupid mouth shut. Emmett gasped. Loud and dramatic as always.

"Oh, honey, that's terrible!"

Debbie wasn't done yet either. "Stupid asshole. We should all go to his apartment with a bat and-" Ben, he seemed to be the most calm out of all of this, held up a hand. "Deb, violence isn't the answer to everything. You're going to get nowhere if you go beat the hell out of this guy." I guess he knew what was going on, Michael had probably told. Debbie didn't say another word. She just angrily began to plop the mash potatoes on her plate. Ted seemed calm too but he was, most of the time, calm about things. "I think you guys are doing the right thing…talking to Carl. Don't worry Deb – Carl will get to the bottom of this." Inside, I agreed that Carl would. I had my doubts though. I bet everyone did. Even Brian.

"May I be excused?"

Debbie quickly nodded and I headed up the stairs and into the bathroom. I shut and locked the door behind me. I had made a mistake – telling all of them. Of course, they would've found out sooner or later. Carl would've told Deb and Deb would've told the rest so I was really just saving time. Sighing, I sat on the sink and tried to think of everything but anything having to do with Ethan. I thought about Daphne. I thought about Emmett and the pink feather boa he was wearing tonight and smiled slightly. I thought about Brian and the way he looks when his dick sinks into me. And the way he looks when he's staring at the computer – all concentration. And the way he looks when he's sleeping – Perfection. Beautiful.

I am truly in love with this man.

A knock on the door wakes me out of my thinking and I look at it. "Uhm – Who is it?"

"Brian. Are you alright?"

Smiling, I reach over from the counter and unlock the door. He must've heard it and been waiting since the door opened up as soon as my hand left the doorknob. Once he was inside he shut the door and locked it once again. He looked concerned as he stood between my legs, hands trailing up my thighs, hips, chest and stopping once they reached my neck. "What are you doing in here?" I grin at him and rest my hands lightly on his jean clad hips. "Sitting." He smiled slightly, worry slowly disappearing from his face and a hand pushes through my hair. I can feel his fingers playing with it. I love it when he plays with my hair. "Don't get smart with me." I smiled and leaned closer to him, resting the side of my face against his chest. His chin rested on top of my head and we stay like that for a few minutes.

I bet the others are wondering where we are.

"What did Carl say?"

"He said he would do his best but…that he was busy with the Hobbs trial."

I felt a slight pang in my stomach. Chris Hobbs was finally going to court. The produce women who had been at the scene of the car wreck was going to see if he was the one she caught a glimpse of in the Excursion. All of us were going in hopes that Chris would get the punishment he deserved. I hadn't realized I had stiffened at the mention of the trial or Chris or anything having to do with the deaths of our three friends until Brian pushed me away and cupped my face in his hands. "It's ok. He'll get busted." I hoped he was right. "He has to." I nodded in agreement; unshed tears in my eyes. This was still a sore subject for me, for all of us. He kissed me again, probably hoping to kiss away the very thought of me crying. I don't blame him. He's probably so tired of it by now.

"We should get down to dinner…before they think we're doing more then talking."

He offered me a smirk and pulled me off the bathroom counter and pulled me out the door. "I also told him that we won't be going back to the loft until all of this is over." I didn't say anything. I just waited. "We'll go to the outskirts of town, get a hotel, and I'll look for a house somewhere." I nod and grab his hand in mine. I guess that's my way of saying thanks for sacrificing everything for me. It seemed surreal that he was doing all of this for me. Even when he hardly knew me. He smiled down at me and we headed down for dinner. Everyone acting awkwardly quiet for a few minutes, Brian cursing at them for it, and then we all talked. About good things.

Not bad.