A/N: Thank you to those who have read the story so far…and a special thank you to those who reviewed! As requested by an anonymous reviewer, who requested that I change the POV, I did something a little different with this chapter. I hope you all like it.

Disclaimer: If I were JKR, would I have this many typos?

Chapter 3

4 years ago

Auror Training

You know the term "too busy to think"? Severe understatement. I'm thinking along the lines of "like a chicken with its head cut off".

In summation, my agenda was booked.

My daily routine compared easily to a muggle "boot camp". I was housed in a barracks like structure, sparsely furnished, and existing with other Auror hopefuls.

As if it were the word of God himself, a thunderous voice would awaken us at 5:00 a.m. sharp. After stumbling through a sleepy shower, we would fall in formation on the quarterdeck, and then be led outside to repeat the same hell we had survived the day before.

With muscles, bones, and brain protesting, we would start our 3-mile run after a set of strenuous calisthenics. Afterwards, we would return for breakfast and then begin the first class of the day. The end of the second class of the day would lead to lunch, followed by another class, drill, then dinner. Once dinner was over, those still able to control their physical self enjoyed personal time.

It was during personal time we were able to fold our clothes, shower again, maybe write a letter even though we could not receive any. A lot to catch up with considering personal time was only 15 minutes. Generous.

Unfortunately, it was also the time we were allowed to speak to each other.

"Why did you punch me that day Potter?"

Don't let the use of my last name fool you. Draco and I did have a friendship; we had used our first names freely in the last year at Hogwarts. But identity in that place was not allowed, hence reverting to our last names.

Damn, I'm rambling again.

Always a doubt

never a shout

or a scream

it's a dream.

I hope I pray it'll go away.

Only to resurface when I least expect it.

So, yes, I could have punched him again, but that would have been redundant. Not to mention the punishment that I would have had to endure by those trained to turn us into killing machines, but for some reason find no tolerance for fighting. Plus, the look on his face, thinking I was going to punch him again was priceless.

Instead I ignore him, but he is relentless.

"Did you think that no one else could feel the level of hurt you felt? Just because you had a special attachment to the old man?"

His words became harsher, antagonizing a reaction.

"And don't give me some bullshit about being overwhelmed by guilt and you had to 'lash out'. If that was the case, you could have punched anybody, but it was I to win that coveted spot. Why Potter? Was it because I replaced you? That I knew more of that man's love and protection than you ever knew? God DAMN IT! Tell me WHY!"

At least that is what I think he said.

And I'll be scared

and unprepared

and I'll run away again.

I was too busy hovering somewhere between undiluted rage and soul wrenching grief.

I went with grief.

Choking on the emotion that I had denied myself for so long, I answered Draco, articulating as best as I could.

"Myself."

Whatever he perceived in that answer seemed to please him. He offered a small smile.

"Small steps Potter."

Perfect timing, personal time was over.

Lights out.

Our physical strains of the day are enough to put anyone in a deep undisturbed sleep. Couple that with a mental breakdown, and I was almost comatose.

During our 3-month seclusion from the real world, my friendship with Draco became the only thing that kept horrible thoughts at bay. I allowed myself to confide, and I found peace.

And finally it was November, sweet November.

We were now at a different location, housed in dormitories. Since our physical training was over, it was time to concentrate on the psychological aspect of it.

It was also when we were finally able to communicate with the outside world.

Ron and Hermione, the truest of friends had apparently written letters while they were unable to reach me. It was quite a load when it was finally delivered. I became drenched in their world.

Hermione had moved out of her parent's house and into the Burrow and began to accompany Mr. Weasley to the Ministry of Magic. She became such a nuisance, that she was given an internship. Their gain really, she knows everything.

Ron was in Romania with his brother Charlie. He didn't seem to sure what he wanted to do with his life, so he was trying different things. Ron mentioned some professional Quidditch tryouts coming up and that he might give it a go.

I got caught up to date with Neville, currently working as an assistant for Professor Sprout in Herbology at Hogwarts. George and Fred sill enjoyed success with their business, and Ginny, suffering through her last year at Hogwarts without us yet enjoying the fact that there were no older brothers around.

I handed most of these letters over to Draco, who in turn filled me in on the activities of Millicent, Crabbe, and Goyle. The rest of the letters I set aside as there was another one that had caught my attention.

The letter was from Minerva McGonagall. The paper rattled in my hand as I read each word, then it fluttered to the ground. Draco was watching.

For too long I have waited

lifeless

colorless

empty

A stoic

His mercurial eyes darted between the letter and me.

I just wanted to punch him again.

Neither of us moved.

He knew that the centaurs had reached their limit and had taken to mercilessly torturing his brother. Grawp, while a giant, is slow to move and therefore could not react quickly to the torrents of pain inflicted by the arrows implanted in non-lethal places. What he did not know was the true effect this caused on his brother's mental stability.

He had gone into the forest that day, as stealthy as he could since he did not want to alert the centaurs for they attacked him also. He reached the clearing and discovered his brother huddled up against a group of trees. Stepping closer, he gagged at the sight before him.

The wounds that covered his sibling did not leave many recognizable features. Many of the puncture wounds and gashes were infected, allowing a ready location for maggots to fester.

He had no idea it had gotten this bad.

He felt terrible guilty.

Due to the impressive domestication of his brother, he had not visited nearly as often as he had before. Thinking that leaving Grawp to himself was a better option.

And look what happened.

Grawp finally focused on the fact that someone had invaded is personal space, and snapped.

Unprepared for his brother's insanity, he stood shocked and defenseless as he was mauled to death by the only family he had left.

He was found a few hours later.

Grawp was killed on sight.

My breaths were coming harder and ragged. My gentle giant…

"You're a wizard, Harry."

Then I was having a real problem. I wanted to leave, but where would I go? Down the hallway? It's not like I could have left the building.

Apparently, I was pacing. Draco's eyes were following me.

Thinking that it was safe, he picks up the letter. His eyes roam over the document, reflecting every expected emotion. He looks up at me.

"Don't." I said.

Because there was nothing.

Christmas was a subdued affair. We had all gathering in the Mess Hall for our "holiday" meal. Gifts had already been revealed, and Draco and I had our first watch that night. No big deal, we just had to "secure the parameter". Whatever.

It was snowing.

After about 2 hours of simply walking around, we found a place to sit that provided us a good view in case we needed to act like we were patrolling.

We sat close, maybe for warmth, maybe for another reason.

Draco had become my only confidant. Expressions of emotions that I could never give to my best friends, Draco accepted each as if it was a gift.

I knew for a while now that I loved him.

I also knew he felt the same way.

Please, I was not sacrificing myself because I wanted to protect him, fearing that yet another person would be yanked out of my life. I'm not that stupid.

I just didn't have the time.

Well, that was no longer a problem. We had the whole night ahead of us, with nothing to do.

Hmmmmm… interesting.

We chatted about menial things, skirting the obvious entity that was desperately trying to possess us. It became increasingly difficult.

Then we gave in.

They looked up to the sky, whose floating glow spread like a rosy ocean, vast and bright.

They gazed into the glittering sea below whence the broad moon rose circling into sight.

They heard the waves splash, and the wind so low,

And saw each other's dark eyes darting light into each other.

And beholding this, their lips drew near and clung into a kiss.

A long, long, kiss of youth and love and beauty all concentrating like rays, kindled from above.

Such kisses as belong to early days where heart and soul and sense in concert move.

Where the blood's lava, and the heart's ablaze.

Each kiss a heartquake.

Wow. That certainly perked things up a bit. My heart opened up, and let the snow fall.

We enjoyed the rest of the holidays immersed in each other's company.

Spring descended and the world was reborn, I along with it. With Draco's guidance and compassion I allowed myself to laugh again. We only had a few more weeks of this term left, and we were so busy that we were unable to really cultivate our new relationship. Stolen moments here and there are just not enough. We were both, desperately, looking forward to the summer holidays. Luckily, time went by quickly.

With the help of the last Marauder left, I had secured the purchase of a small flat near Diagon Alley. Naturally, I had invited Draco to stay with me and he accepted.

I was actually giddy.

Seeing only pictures of my new home, I trusted Hermione to furnish and decorate. She is a girl after all.

I had received confirmation that I was connected with the Floo Network a week ago, and I was ready to step into the fireplace on the last day of school when…

Shit, I was nervous.

Draco, knowing me so fucking well stepped in next to me. And without allowing me a chance to argue, threw the powder and bellowed our destination.

Home.

Dusting off the soot from our robes, we surveyed our surroundings.

Not bad.

Our entrance landed us right in the living room, which hosted a large comfortable couch, two armchairs, coffee table and a few decorative pictures and such.

We walked through the kitchen/dining room and discovered the Hermione had kindly stocked our cabinets and refrigerator with food.

That's my girl.

We moved on to a nice study room that provided two desks, bookshelves, load of parchment and quills, another fireplace and a cozy couch. Figures that this room would be the one that Hermione would decorate with the most care.

Let's see, which room was left? Oh yeah, the bedroom.

Okay, so I was corrected. Hermione had put her best into this room.

There was a marvelously large bed, canopy style, which was the focus of the room. It was a deep cherry wood finish with high posts and a huge headboard. Surrounding the bed were more bookshelves, built right into the wall.

There was a bay window that looked over onto a meadow and a chaise lounge by the two separate walk-in closets.

Breathtaking.

But maybe that's because Draco was in the room.

That was too tempting.

I flung him against the wall, pressing my body against him. Shuddering in each breath, I leaned in.

That kiss, so hungry, so passionate, so everything. Tongues twirling and dancing, as we became each other. Warm, inviting…damn. It was time to consummate this relationship.

Let me show you baby, I'm a talented boy.

A/N Thanks for reading! Drop me a review?