Disclaimer: You know the deal. As much as I wish I did, I do not own Naruto. I'm just an avid fan with too much time on her hands. With that said, here's chapter one of my fanfic...

A Pirate's Life For Me

A bright, sun shiny day with cell 7. A boring day. Sitting around, doing nothing (no, picking noses,nails,orbutts does not count as doing something).

Naruto: I'M BORED! THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING FOR US TO DO!

Sakura: Naruto…

Naruto: I MEAN, C'MON! WE'RE HIGH CLASS NINJA! HOW CAN THERE BE NOTHING FOR US TO DO?

Kakashi: High-class ninja? You? Keep dreaming Naruto.

Naruto: I MEAN C'MON!

Sakura: NARUTO SHUT UP!

Naruto: But Sakura-

Sakura: NO! JUST SHUT UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!

Sasuke: You're wasting your breath. As if he could possibly get the point.

Naruto: I get the point. Some village nearby is missing their idiot. And I'm looking right at him.

Kakashi: -without looking up from his book- Now Naruto, thatheadband isn't for you to use as a mirror. -turns page smiling-

Naruto: what?

Sasuke: I told you he'd never figure it out.

Naruto: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU…. YOU…

Sasuke: What's wrong?Cat got your tongue?

Naruto: -glaring at Sasuke- You………

Sasuke: I'm sorry, Naruto.

Naruto: What? You're… sorry?

Sasuke: Yes. That was shameful of me and I admit it. I should've spoken slower.

Naruto: What?

Sasuke: Cat… got… your… tongue?

Naruto: BASTARD! -lunges at Sasuke and knocks him to the ground-

Sakura: NARUTO! GET OFF OF HIM! IF YOU HURT SASUKE I WILL KILL YOU!

Inner Sakura: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! YEAH! BLOODSHED! YEAH! KICK HIS ASS!

Sakura: NARUTO-

Kakashi: Leave them.

Sakura: What?

Kakashi: $20 says Naruto wins

Sakura: WHAT!

Kakashi: Oh no, don't tell me Naruto's turned you stupid.

Sakura: No, I mean how can you encourage this? They're on the floor fighting. AND YOU'RE BETTING $20 that NARUTO will win! $50 and tonight's dinner says Sasuke wipes the floor with Naruto.

Kakashi: hmm where's the most expensive place to eat…?

Sakura: You're so full of yourself. How can you be so sure that Naruto's gonna win?

Kakashi: Because if it was me, I'dfight dirty.

Sakura: But that's cheating!

Kakashi: It's only cheating if they say beforehand that it's not allowed. -leaning in towards the fight pretending to hear something- WHAT WAS THAT SASUKE? YOU THINK YOU WOULD MAKE A BETTER HOKAGE THAN NARUTO?

Sakura: I can't believe you're doing this? WHAT? SASUKE'S A PANSY ASS? SASUKE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET HIM TALK ABOUT YOU LIKE THAT ARE YOU! KICK HIS ASS!

Kakashi: I hate to admit it but I guess I should be breaking them up right about now. They're becoming less and less amusing then before.

-Kakashi steps toward where Naruto and Sasuke are fighting-

Kakashi: Ok children, you've had your fun. It's enough-

-Amidst all the fighting, Naruto went to swing at Sasuke, who dodged it in the nick of time but fell backwards onto the floor, tripping up Naruto at the same time. Naruto falls on top of Sasuke and they end up kissing-

Kakashi: -scratches head- My, my, my. Never a dull moment with you two around.

Sakura: -jaw to the floor- NA-RU-TO!

Naruto: -propped up above Sasuke's body by his elbows and feet- . . . . . . .

Sasuke: -lying helplessly on the floor looking up at Naruto wide-eyed- . . . . . . .

Kakashi: -breaking the silence- I do believe -pushes Sakura's jaw back up to her mouth with his finger- that it is time we go on a little vacation. What do you think?

Naruto: -rolls over and sits against a nearby tree- . . . . ..

Sakura: -eyes still bulging out of their sockets- . . . . ..

Sasuke: -gets up and leans against a tree near Kakashi- . . . . . . .

Kakashi: Then it's settled. Sailing it is.

-Kakashi starts to walk off out of the clearing, dragging a still shocked Sakura, leaving Sasuke and Naruto behind.-

Sasuke: -glances at Naruto then quickly glances at the floor-. . . . . .

Naruto: Is that all you got?

Sasuke: -looking up surprised- What?

Naruto: Because if it is, once those girls find out, they'll never want to go out with you ever.

Sasuke: -raising an eyebrow at Naruto- Excuse me?

Naruto: -getting up from his position against the tree and walking to within a inch of Sasuke's face, he whispers- Weaker than weak sauce.

Sasuke: WHAT?

Naruto: -walking away- Damn fairy.

Sasuke: -starting to walk after him- What are you talking about? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT KISSED ME!

Naruto: -without even looking back, waves him off- Whatever Sasuke. Just keep telling yourself that. Maybe, eventually, the world will stop thinking you're a flaming homo and believe you, but until then, we have got to stop meeting this way.

Sasuke: NARUTO!

Naruto: -starts running after Kakashi and Sakura- oh shit! HELP! RAPE! RAPE! SEXUAL HARASSMENT!

Sasuke: NARUTO! YOU'RE GONNA WISH YOU WERE DEAD ONCE I GET THROUGH WITH YOU!

Naruto: -passes by Kakashi with Sasuke hot on his heels- AHH! MICHAEL JACKSON'S TRYING TO MOLEST ME! I'M JUST AN INNOCENT CHILD!

Sasuke: -right behind Naruto- You? Innocent? Don't make me laugh. You're anything but.

Naruto: Maybe in your dreams. HEY SAKURA! SASUKE'S A FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL!

Sasuke: -tackling Naruto, he straddles him- Prove it!

Naruto: Is that an invitation?

Kakashi: -stopped a few feet away from Sasuke and Naruto, turns to look at Sakura who eyes are practically popping out of her skull and her jaw has once again hit the floor- I feel as if I'm watching an episode of General Hospital or One Life to Live. All my Children!

Sakura: -turning to look at Kakashi disbelieving- You watch soap operas?

Kakashi: Why so surprised? Now a days, TV's gone to shit. With allthat damn OC bullshit and Real World, there's nothing good on.

Sakura: Maybeyou just need to watch on a different day. Trust me, if you've ever seen an episode of Lost, you'll know what I'm talking about.

Kakashi: Believe me, I know. Every Wednesday at 9pm. Obsessee, right here.

Sakura: I KNOW! OMG Sawyer is so hot!

Kakashi: -pretending to be a giddy little schoolgirl- Omg, like, I know! Like, when he pulled that bullet out of his, like, shoulder, I almost, like drowned myself in like, my own drool. Like, OMG!

Sakura: -staring disbelievingly at Kakashi- ooooookk

Kakashi: Hahaha. Let's get going. HEY YOU HOMOS! LET'S GO! THE SEA AWAITS!

Sasuke and Naruto: -glaring at Kakashi and pointing at each other accusingly- HE'S THE HOMO! -turn and glare at each other- GRRRR….

Kakashi: Fine then, suit yourselves. You two can stay here and make out all you want but Sakura and I are going sailing.

-Kakashi and Sakura start walking towards the pier.-

Naruto: -shoving Sasuke over and scrambling up after Sakura- DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THE FAIRY! SAKURA! WAIT UP!