A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out, I got to a pivotal point in the story with the last chapter and it took me a while to determine how to continue. Warning for all those who may have stumbled across this story in error and missed all the previous warnings. This story is SLASH…spelled D…O…N…'T…L…I…K…E…D…O…N…'T…R…E…A…D (though, sorry to say, there won't be any of that in this chapter). Also, there will be more character death in this chapter, and anyone who has made it this far in the story will not be surprised. Hey, a story's gotta have consistency, right?

Disclamer: Does anyone else get tired of writing these? "Yes your honor, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…I do not own anything in this story and am not making any money from it."

Dedication: As always, to my brother (who is now my beta!), and to Glassesreflect, who not only showed me the support network that exists there, but enticed members to read my story! Three cheers for Glassesreflect!

Chapter 6

1 year ago

Destruction
Bored is bad.

Lonely is worse.

Combine the two into one emotion, and you get me.

For a while, I stayed in the house Draco and I shared. I meandered restlessly through each room, almost tiptoeing, not wanting to disturb the energy that once bound him to me. Every dust particle ghosted memories, and I even caught myself smiling at a few of them. I acted as though he was merely sleeping, as if it were a Sunday morning; because I would always tread carefully…tried not to clink glasses or dishes and never swept the silence by turning on the television or radio.

Red roses you once gave me

Lay withered on the ground

Signifying the beautiful love

Once we had found

I thought that if I were quiet enough, I would hear him.

I thought that if I were still enough, he would come back.

As it was, I didn't see him until it was too late.

I was not allowed to return to my career as an Auror despite Hermione's efforts. By then, I had abandoned the house that was supposed to represent the rest of my life. It now sat empty, a reminder of my failure, simultaneously mocking me and begging me to resurrect it.

Predictably, I moved in with Ron and Hermione

Predictably, Hermione was pregnant.

She was still working of course, so I stayed at home with Ron, who had already resigned himself to play the roll of stay at home dad. Honestly. Ron and I were pretty pathetic. Yes, we did the constant rehashing of "good ole school days", even high-fived a few of these stories…sheesh.

Charlie was hardly ever there and Ginny was seen even less. She had withdrawn into herself, so much so that on days that we knew she was there, we would always find her in her parent's bedroom.

She revived her spirit once, for me. She kissed me softly and sweetly on the cheek.

"Remember me this way."

Then she ceased, going back to nothingness. Her spirit remained hidden from then on.

We would wait patiently for Hermione to come home, and after she would shake her head at us, we would sit down for dinner and Ron would dote on her every need.

After a few weeks, Hermione started dropping hints about me getting a new job, finally resorting to point blank asking me, since I would conveniently never pick up on her "hints". She proposed several options:

"Perhaps another department within the ministry, or maybe something in New Diagon Alley? You know, they always need help at Hogwarts"

Really, she was quite cute. How could I say no to that face?

So became my quest for the "day job"

I attempted New Diagon Alley first and tried my hand at several retail shops. Sales didn't go well since most of the merchandise had my picture on it. It was a little creepy.

I even tried Gringotts…let's just say that after I made the inquiry, I backed out slowly, not wanted the looks I got from the goblins to turn into anything physical.

I reviewed my options for the Ministry, only desiring something that would not risk a chance encounter with Draco. In my mind, I was doing this to lesson the punishment on myself, but in reality I didn't want to punish him.

There were a few possibilities, but it seems no one had forgotten my "incident", and therefore would not even grant me an interview.

Did they honestly think that I would flip out and suddenly see Death Eaters instead of their faces?

Apparently.

After all this, I was left with one option, unless I wanted to try something in the Muggle world.

Hogwarts, here I come.

Now, some would say that Hogwarts should have been my first choice, and I agree, but I knew that it would be too easy.

I was right.

I immediately received several offers for positions from Headmistress McGonangall, each glamorous and prestigious, but in the end I asked for the long vacant gamekeeper job. Even though I could never restore the school back to it's original opulence since there were just too many whispers to the past, too many specters of anguish, I did try to create the illusion of the fairy tale that once saved a boy from a life of torment and loss.

It was here, at the threshold of the Forbidden Forest, that I had an appalling revelation.

I had always loved Hagrid, simply for what he was; a gentle man. But during my years at Hogwarts, even I found myself wondering the reasons he loved all creatures, regardless of what purpose they served or how many ways they could hurt or kill him. At first, the revelation began with the simple epiphany that all these creatures never did hurt or kill him, then the second part hit.

He was a lonely man.

A lonely man; comforted by any sign of life that would acknowledge him as a fellow being of existence. The appreciation for what these monstrous creatures had to offer guaranteed him safety among them.

I wasn't quite there yet, but I was close.

Let me fly up and fly above, or below

Anywhere but here

Not to be someone else

But to be no one else

Summer quickly gave way to autumn, and the start to a new school year.

I kept myself busy, mentally aware that I was approaching one year since I had seen or heard from Draco.

I knew that Draco was working with Hermione on developing a new spell. I never asked her if he mentioned me, or showed any regret, because I didn't want to know. I took comfort in Hermione's presence with him, because that fact alone proved that he was never far away.

I was awarded a lot of time to reflect on my life…choice, paths, mistakes. Each one dissected and rewritten to suit my own ego.

Life is a perpetual yesterday, made of moments…not minutes.

Think about it. How many of us try to correct or change something that has already shaped our destiny? Set the record straight? Clear up misunderstandings? Rewrite history.

And I yearned for him.

Love takes a toll that belittles the soul

And whittles away at the mind

Desires of the heart, unwittingly take part

In the universal wish to be bind.

By choice, I existed strictly solitarily. I only entertained visits from Rom, Hermione, and occasionally Headmistress McGonagall. More often than not, days would pass that would not see or speak to another person.

It's true what they say. People who live alone talk to themselves…a lot. Maybe it is some inbred need that we crave a human voice, and have to settle for our own. Even if it's just to reassure ourselves that we are here.

It was announced one day that the wizarding world was being exterminated. Whether the work of one or many, wizard towns across the globe were infiltrated and leveled to the ground. Durmstrang no longer stood overlooking the glacier mountains, it was not attacked, it was just gone one day. Beauxbatons, at first just seems deserted, but when investigated all the students and faculty were found dead, mummified by time, their faces frozen with pain.

Pictures provided in the Daily Post revealed the utter destruction for our identity. It seems no one was immune, including the "purebloods".

Hogsmeade…gone

Riddle's house, grave and neighborhood…gone

Godric's Hollow…gone

The Malfoy Manor…gone…along with Draco's mother.

And with this, I only saw the possibility of Draco returning to me, I never glanced at the tragedy.

Of course Draco had long severed his ties to that place, that name, that expectation. Still, loss is loss.

But he did not reach out to me.

By now, I was over the "selfreflection" bit and getting a little irritated. But I never made a move, having convinced myself that he was the one who left, he had to be the one to come back.

I refused to go get him.

As entire generations were annihilated, those left began a great pilgrimage to London to be closer to the remaining icons of magic…The Ministry…and Hogwarts.

All those people came.

Like lambs to a slaughter.

I was told it all happened very suddenly.

The Ministry, ordained as the International Headquarters, housed any remaining officials from other countries. These leaders met regularly in their posh offices, delegating, officiating, feeling important, feeling helpless. For truth be told, there wasn't anything they could do.

It was a hotbed of activity. Survivors arriving to tell their tales, Auror's leaving and not always returning, Medi-staff doing what they could. Everyone was busy.

Distracted.

It was subtle at first, the fires for the Floo System slowly extinguished, only to reignite in flames of brilliant green. Critical survivors quietly stopped breathing and cauldrons filled with various salvations turned rank and sour.

Yet through this no one notices, still too absorbed in their own chaos.

Those in the main hallway were attacked first. The emerald flames raged inside their containment and hurled balls of green light at those finally starting to notice.

Bursts of green light illuminated the hallway, echoes of which highlighted those unable to run fast enough to escape the light. The light that haunts his dreams, the light that even his closed eyes cannot block.

The awe-inspiring statues that once offered protection from evil, now found a new master as they thundered through the building. Crushing ,pounding, breaking, killing.

Wizards and witches, reaching for their wands, found them missing and left them defenseless against the poltergeist activity of objects launching through the air and the shards of glass from broken windows or mirrors slicing through their flesh.

Many of them fled, realizing heroics would be useless, and suicidal.

Then the attack really began.

A gradual rumble traveled through the building, ripping ceilings and cracking walls. Floors began to collapse, condensing the many leveled building into one.

He arrived on the scene too late, and searched for those he loved.

He could not find any.

You would think that one would be used to that by now, but the mind will never become immune to death.

We took the injured back to Hogwarts, and it was there that I learned that Draco had not been inside the Ministry. The project that he and Hermione had been working on was cancelled a few weeks before and he had been sent on an assignment since the Ministry was so short on trained Auror's.

To this day, I don't know if I found relief in that news.

I returned once again to "ground zero" and resumed my search for life. A few others were frantically searching for family, and I paused for a moment, somewhat jealous that they had family to look for.

Then it occurred to me.

I had seen Ron sporadically during the clean up, never giving him more than a passing glance. This time I sought him out.

He was concentrating on one focus, and did not immediately acknowledge my presence. Tears trickled down his face as he whispered "please" in rapid succession.

In the end, it was all in vain.

For as the November sun set,

Hermione had not been found.

There is a definition in life;

One of love, courage and sacrifice

Loves that are lost

Courage of the heart

And sacrifices that are taken
A/N: Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and tell me what you think?

Starlollie: You can thank my brother for the Molly rampage…though I have to agree, the woman is awesome. Glad you like it and please keep reading!

Baby Chaos: Thanks for the review! I love dark!Harry stories, and love insane!Harry even more. Seriously, how much can a person take, right? As for my brother…yes he is older. I passed on the compliment for his poetry and he appreciated it. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well! Cheers for now luv.

Xikum: Thank you for the review! As you can see, it did not end. Ask, and you shall receive.

Silver Emerald Eyes: Looooooool! Loved the review you gorgeous thing you! Sorry I could not make it out for Christmas, but better late then never, eh? The cookie dough ice cream was tremendous for my creativity though. Thanks for much for the phenomenal words! sends double mint fudge ice cream back atcha!

Forever-yours666: First, love the pen name…Secondly, I appreciated the review so much! Yours was the first review after the "flame" and it made me glow. Thanks for making a fellow slasher feel on top of the world.

StarlitRena: Ah, my first reviewer…a special place in my heart has been assigned to you! I hope you are still with the story and still enjoying it!