A/N: Welcome back everybody! I would like to say that my update was so long in coming because I wanted everyone to have enough snuggle time with HBP. Hmmm…now that I have said that, it really is a good excuse.
Warning: There are so many warning for this chapter that I should probably tell you to not read it. But here goes (deep breath). MILD spoilers for HBP, and I do mean mild. The spoilers are so minute that someone reading would only think that they came from my imagination…but they didn't. There are definitely no strong plot spoilers, except for one thing. Next: there is slash in this chapter, and I don't mean "G" rated, I mean good old fashioned hot sweaty "R" rated slash. Yeah baby! Moving on: More character death, some is kind of gruesome, so make sure you are not eating anything meaty when you read. Also, there are some other sensitive stuff with animals (I promise not graphic, not painful, nothing bad). Okay! I think I covered it all!
Enjoy!
Chapter 10
One week ago
Culmination
These are the times that define us.
I heard this once, and I found it mildly insulting.
Are we defined by the things we face and survive? Do those who threw themselves into death for the benefit of others have less character then those who lived to face another adversity? Are we supposed to view those people as cowards because they lacked the strength to protect their mortality?
Or are we the cowards for facing death and running away from it?
Are we supposed to have some deeper meaning of life because we carry the death of those we loved?
Bullshit.
I was not thankful…nor enlightened…that I was still alive.
I was scared.
Suspicions were gone. Of the four of us, Ron, Hermione and I had been through too much to give even a moment's pause in trust.
As for Draco, I loved him too much to condemn him to fault.
Perhaps it was all some warped version of natural selection. Perhaps higher beings had decided that our time was up…and we had not done what were supposed to do.
Perhaps this was nature's way of starting over.
Whatever the reason, we remained clueless to the intent as we stood on the hilltop, deciding our next move.
We were going to leave; it would have been the most sensible thing to do. We should have left that spot in separate ways, going to different corners of the earth.
We should have.
But I felt nostalgic.
We returned to Hogwarts one last time.
Although the wards that protected the school from anyone apparating directly inside were long gone, by habit we arrived just outside of Hogsmeade, and began to walk.
The road took us along side the Forbidden Forest. Normally dark and foreboding, the forest seemed to have intensified its eerie silence. Cautiously, we continued our path, wondering what could be lurking inside that was so threatening that even the air would not draw attention to itself by rustling the leaves.
Unable to ignore the lure of curiosity any longer, we shifted our stride and crossed the threshold into the forest.
Visually, it was normal at first. If it hadn't been for the suffocating feeling of wrongness we would have turned back and dismissed our uneasiness as overreaction. The more we walked without justification, the more we convinced ourselves that we were overreacting.
Then Hermione tripped.
Over a spider shaped stone.
We looked closer at things that our passing glance assumed was a natural fixture, and found hundreds more of these stones, all in various sizes and postures.
It was obviously what remained on Aragog's family.
Further and deeper into the forest we delved, passing other magical creatures immortalized in their new prison.
We encountered a group of centaurs; some posed for combat, others protecting their children from whatever nemesis penetrated their defenses.
It was a picture of futility.
Now halfway through the deranged menagerie, we were more anxious to reach the grounds of the school then discovering more secrets from the forest. We kept our eyes forward, musing internally, where once again we were interrupted by Hermione.
A soft cry was the only warning we received before she bolted through the trees. Following her for a short distance, we discovered her cause of alarm.
With the setting sun casting silhouettes, her elongated shadow mimicked her movements and touched the horned creature at the same time she did. She slowly reached out to the most mythical and beloved animal, a representation of her childhood, now only a stone remainder. Her hand caressed the mane, lingered along the cheek and eventually made its way to the top of the unique horn.
The unicorn was bent over slightly, perhaps grazing when it fell victim to harm. Hermione leaned over gently and kissed the magnificent animal on the forehead.
"I will remember you." she whispered.
She turned and made her way back to our small group. Ron reached out and wiped away the tears that had rolled down her cheek. She pulled away, a sad smile on her face.
"Well," she shrugged, "they were never supposed to exist in the first place."
We emerged from the forest in a spot that was between Hagrid's old hut and the Quidditch pitch. Hermione was still silently mourning but could not conceal her giggle when she saw glint of competition in the eyes of Draco and I as we looked upon our old arena. She glanced at Ron, and saw the same longing and could not deny him the opportunity.
"Just go!" she said with fake exasperation.
Not needing encouragement, the three of us sprinted towards the broom closet, grabbed the necessary object, and quickly soared into the air. For hours we flew around the pitch, playing a mock game with all of
us "seeking" the little wisps of light that Hermione would conjure for us. Our memories projected stands full of students and teachers cheering for their favorite team, and our minds announced the always entertaining commentary.
We played well into the night, finally forced to land when our fingers lost all feeling from griping the broom in the cold night air. Realizing the late hour, we decided to spend one more night in our second home and go our separate ways in the morning.
Such an innocent decision.
Against Draco's wish, we chose the Gryffindor dorms to be our accommodations for the night.
In all fairness, he was outvoted.
We walked unnoticed through the school. The ghosts were gone, the portraits were empty and the house elves had long abandoned us. It was spooky, like the four of us had entered a haunted house on a dare.
In a way, that's precisely what we were doing.
Once inside the common room, Hermione dragged Ron off towards the girl's dormitory with the excuse of "warming up".
Once alone, Draco and I decided that was a wonderful idea.
Heading towards the showers, we tentatively began the seduction with small touches on the neck and back. The friction caused by that contact was so overwhelming electric, that by the time we reached the showers, half of our clothes had already been discarded. Draco looked delicious with his mused hair and swollen lips, evidence of our entwined journey down the hallway wall.
We wasted no time disrobing completely once we turned on the near molten water in the shower. Our flushed skin didn't need more heat, but the water soothed our tense muscles, and we melted into each other.
Our caresses were desperate, but we did not rush. We took turns washing each other, pleasuring each other. My need for him escalated quickly, but I stayed restrained.
Somehow I knew that it would be the last time.
We leaned against the wall to support ourselves and I slid my hand between his thighs, massaging those erogenous zones with careful pressure while I licked and sucked his neck. He dropped to his knees and torturously swirled his tongue along my length, leaving me to quiver. Knowing I was close, he stood, hoisted my leg onto the ledge and slowly prepared me. After an eternity of pleading, he withdrew his fingers and I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the trip to oblivion.
I stroked myself, duplicating his movements, rocketing towards satisfaction. We never parted lips, keeping our bodies connected as much as possible.
It was perfect.
The kind of perfection that the last time should be.
Once spent, we quickly rinsed off and headed towards the common room for our bags, which contained some food. We were both starving.
Apparently, taking a shower can really work up an appetite.
Descending the stairs, we heard music that grew louder with every stop. Now in full view of the common room, we saw Ron and Hermione dancing to the same song they danced to on their wedding day. The only illumination came from the flickering fire, the soft music wafted serenely through the room, and Ron and Hermione gazed at each other with such love and passion.
It was the most romantic thing I had ever seen.
Ron noticed our presence first. It must have been quiet comical, Draco and I standing hand in hand, our heads tilted ever so slightly.
He stopped, his back to the fire, with a love struck grin on his face.
"Don't mind us," Draco said, "we're just here to grab some food and then we're gone!"
Hermione, who had turned to see why Ron had stopped, turned back to her husband.
"Good." She replied.
I rapidly crossed the room to grab our bags and could see Ron lifting Hermione's face to his own. I scooped up the supplies and hurried back to the staircase, leaving the obvious sounds of intense kissing behind. Draco was casually looking at the wall, but glanced over when his peripheral alerted him to my approach.
He was smiling; I like to think that I was too.
It's amazing how quickly things can change.
In the same second that I saw the smile on Draco's face plummet, I heard the fireplace whoosh.
The whoosh that announces the arrival of someone traveling by floo.
I turned back and watched helplessly as Hermione shifting to look into the fireplace. She screamed when Ron was suddenly absorbed into a green light, and fell to the ground. His body acted as a curtain that finally pulled back and revealed our mystery.
We stood, rooted by shock as we all finally had our question answered. Now we knew the one who caused all this, the one to blame.
Ginny Weasley.
Suddenly, I could see everything.
As an honorary member of the Order of the Phoenix, she was given full access to the Headmaster's office to use his covert floo connection to pass on information. Therefore, it was extremely easy to drop the poison onto his candy one day, when she was on her way out.
xx
She waited for her old potions professor to return from his daily visit to the Order headquarters. She watched him stalk his way down the ally in Spinner's End, and she was confident that he had no idea on what awaited him. As he reached his doorway, she flung open the door,
"Sectumsempra!"
She pulled his screaming writhing body into his house, and cast a silencing charm before stepping over the suffering man to get to the front door. With a glance back, she winked at the dying professor before shutting the door and locking him in.
xx
The giant took months of planning and careful execution. He was smarter then even Hagrid was aware of, and knew that he was not wanted in the forest. Since his brother did not visit as often, he would move from place to place in an effort to remain undiscovered.
But she was able to find him every time.
To him, she looked like an angel, floating down to whisper warnings about his brother. Warnings of being unloved and unwanted, warnings of how his brother planned to kill him; to get rid of him. She reinforced these warnings by placing obvious clues to the giant's whereabouts so the half-breed centaurs would find him. Eventually, she manipulated her visits to immediately follow an attack, and she fed the giants more lies that his brother had been the one who led them there.
She allowed this routine to continue until she was satisfied that the giant was blinded by pain of infection and confused with untruths, only then did she suggest to Hagrid that it had been too long since he had visited his brother. She watched from a distance, giggling when the giant ripped the smaller man to pieces.
Thoroughly pleased with herself, she conveniently "discovered" the gamekeeper's body and alerted the school.
She giggled again when they killed the giant.
xx
By the time the Confrontation came, her powers had increased beyond anything she could have hoped for. What was better was that no one had suspected her or her involvement in any of the tragedies that had befallen the school. The only thing that was disturbing was that the more her powers grew, the stronger and more insistent the voice inside her head became.
While the battle raged outside, she slipped from the castle at the instruction of the voice. She knew someone was out there, someone who had spread such fear and hate, someone who the voice was disappointed with, someone who she was going to replace. With her internal guide, she made her way through the thickets of the forest to find him. She saw him preparing to face off against those who stood for the light, and she stepped into his path. She faced him squarely and did not flinch when he raised his wand. The maniacal glint in his crimson hued eyes did not disguise the slight hesitation and uncertainty he suddenly felt.
She took a step closer.
"You are not what I had in mind."
She was the one who spoke, but it was not her voice that was heard.
"Look at you. You are the very definition of pathetic. When my future was envisioned this was not how I predicted it would be."
The evil man, feared my thousands, was shocked by these words, almost as if he recognized the voice. He dropped his wand and turned to flee, but was stopped by a simple spell.
From there she worked quickly, setting the scene and perfecting the pose to optimize the horror when the body was found. When she heard people approaching, she slipped into the forest unnoticed.
xx
She had an unsuspecting arsenal of Death Eaters to play scapegoat, allowing her to experiment with the potential of her powers, and slowly destroy the wizarding world. At the urging of the voice, she agreed that it was time to end it all.
Loitering in her brother's joke shop and looking at the streets teeming with people, she day dreamed about how many she could kill today and waited until the town reached full occupancy before leaving the shop. She made her way to the center of town and repeated a spell once cast by a rat during an escape, but on a much larger scale. Her personal wards protected her from the massive explosion, and this time…the voice laughed with her.
xx
She was invincible, but when another claimed the headlines she became infuriated and betrayed. To give credit, the vengeful woman was hard to track down and almost had to be admired for her sadistic torture of others. By the time she caught up with the woman, so many Death Eaters had been viciously killed, and the woman had just finished killing one more. She watched as the woman cleansed herself from the gore she created, and then she spoke.
"Hello mother."
She sees the emotion of joy spread across the woman's face, joy which quickly turned to pain.
She boxes up her mother's mutilated head and ships it off to the Ministry, wishing she could see their reaction.
xx
Now completely consumed by the inner voice, she whispers to it in the secluded darkness of her parent's old bedroom and plans her next move. She is encouraged by the troubled relationship of her childhood crush, and gives him a gift of her devotion by dispatching of his horrible muggle relatives.
But he does not notice.
Her dreams are filled with death and massacre. Once…and only once…the dreams were too terrifying that when she awoke, she quelled the voice and went in search of comfort. Her efforts proved too weak, for by the time she encountered another person, she felt herself giving in. Mustering the last bit of her soul that was untouched, she managed to mutter one sentence.
"Remember me this way."
The she fell into the abyss.
xx
With the last of her purity gone, she refocuses on her mission, nodding in consent when the voice tells her that she will never have what is rightfully hers unless she follows his commands.
The love of her life is separated from the one who is unworthy, and she never understands how he could mourn the absence of someone he used to hate. She is enraged by his continued ignorance of her and directs that anger to destroy the world he lives in.
She levels cities and towns; she mercilessly murders thousands of witches and wizards, she destroyed places that have a past, and she destroys places that have a future. She evens destroys an old manor where an old enemy lived.
But he still does not notice.
The only mark of her efforts is in faces that are etched with fear and puzzlement.
She makes a grand stance and destroys the new international headquarters in hopes that perhaps if his distraction was dead, he would pay more attention to her. Never considering that the distraction had been reassigned, she is devastated to learn that he still lives.
She does not handle failure well.
xx
Unable to punish the one who truly warrant it, she heeds to the demand of the voice who wishes to punish those who failed it.
She stands on the rocky shore of the isolated island and hears the desperation of those imprisoned inside the building she faces. Remembering the actions of the Ministry when she forced the "resignation" of the dementors, she chuckles softly as she harnesses the power of nature to concurrently remove the abhorrent prison and end the suffering of those inside.
She is satisfied with the result and leaves the filthy place.
xx
Her new living arrangements are not to her liking. Though she enjoys the paranoid environment she has fostered, and marvels at how well she has performed in avoiding detection, she finds it nearly impossible to seek solitude. To make matter's worse; her love has rekindled his relationship, leaving her seething with hate.
The school, her new residence, remains mostly empty. She swells with pride when the voice praises her and also reminds her that there is still work to be done. Taking advantage of everyone in the same room, she interrupts the faux party and kills the rest of her kind with a spell that punctures their flesh with small metal beads.
All are now dead, except for a select few.
He has to notice her now.
xx
She is sickened by the depression that possess her old home, and she is frustrated that nothing she does makes him see how much she loves him. The voice shares an idea with her that will force a show of affection. She is hesitant at first, but the voice promises her that she is omnipotent, able to control life and death.
The voice promises her that she will return.
With the other's drowning in their own pity, she begins to fake her elaborate death and patiently waits for someone to notice.
She is not surprised when the Mudblood figures it out.
She hears the shouts echoing through the house, but has to contain her glee before assuming an air of panic. Perfecting her emotions, she frantically searches for her older brother and delivers a flawless performance of sharing his fear. Her other brother discovers them, but she does not pay attention to what he does or says. Finally, the one she has been waiting for appears and her heart expands as she watches his noble efforts to save her. When he does not succeed in finding a solution, she expects him to tell her all the things she has always wanted him to say.
But he does not speak.
He does not even say good-bye.
Though he appeared to be saddened by her "death", he does not shed a tear as the hours creep by until she is gone.
Fighting her way back, she reemerges from a limbo a short distance away, but just in time to see her love take comfort in the arms of the other.
This time there will be no forgiveness.
Oh. My. God.
My eyes shifted from Ginny to Hermione, who was hunched over Ron's lifeless body. Draco and I were frozen in place with an effective but simple spell. The air around us started to grow colder; I was about to witness a live version of the Hermione I met in the pensieve.
Hermione stood, hair whipping around her face as she summoned all magic to her. Ginny paid her little attention, glaring at me instead. Her eyes only widened slightly when she felt the immense surge of power beside her.
They faced each other over the deceased, silently. Ginny was too cocky to speak, and Hermione was too overwhelmed with a thousand emotions, though she desperately wanted to know why. Knowing that she would not be able to ask, Hermione decided that Ginny's death would be closure enough. She raised her hands to deliver divine retribution, but then they suddenly clutched her own throat instead.
Ginny smiled.
And I was completely helpless, able to do nothing as my best friend was ripped away from me.
"What's wrong Hermione? I thought you would like this since you have stolen life with those hands before."
Hermione was helpless to release the vice like grip she had on herself, and she quickly succumbed to the lack of oxygen.
She collapsed to the ground, next to her husband.
Then Ginny turned back to me, still smiling.
I finally found my voice.
"Why Ginny?"
Her smile faltered a bit as she considered an answer.
"Because you love me with her eyes. Or, at least you used to."
Then she threw an old diary to the floor.
"No one ever bothered to check if Tom Riddle had been completely exercised from my mind; however, I must thank you. He has been a companion for years, teaching me to realize my full potential. Of course, he looks a lot like you, one of the main reasons that I never let anyone know about him. He indulged my fantasies, so when he asked me to do him a favor or two, I never hesitated. He does not have your eyes though, the one thing that would make him a suitable replacement. You have her eyes, so he tells me. He has told me all about her, how much he coveted her, wanted her. .He loved her you know, that's why he offered to let her live."
She fell to the ground, wrapping her hands around her knees.
"Why you could not love me I will never understand. With all that I have ever done for you! I waited, I pined, I gave up. Then, then you decide you want me! For such a brief moment in my life, I had you, and I was happy.
She stands, and walks towards me.
"I should have known it was too good to last. You had me completely, then you drop me, telling me that you must give up our relationship because of what you have to do. THEN YOU DECLARE YOUR LOVE FOR HIM!"
Her fury had levitated her a few feet from the ground; her eyes were burning red.
Now I knew how she had gotten all that power. It had been two people all along; they just co-existed in one mind.
So then came my choice. Do I save myself and say all the things that she wants to hear? Could I live when there is no world to live in?
No, I refused to accept that.
"Grow up Ginny."
She screamed, an awful high pitch scream that shattered all the windows. I could then move, her spell interrupted by her unfocused anger, but Draco was still stuck.
I pushed him aside and prepared to duel.
Ginny and I fought until the rays of morning light tiptoed across the carpet. I knew I could not win, not when my opponent poured hate and harm into every spell. My energy was draining, and she had hardly broken a sweat.
She stopped, knowing she was the victor.
"Now, feel the pain that I have known my entire life!"
She pointed the wand at Draco, and for a moment his eyes met mine. With that short connection, we communicated all of our unspoken feelings. He eyes shined with love and regret, and I almost could not bear to look.
Silently, we said good-bye.
And in the next breath, Draco was dead.
Understandably, my memory becomes a little fuzzy after that.
I remember that Ginny was pacing back and forth in agitation, saying something about letting me live in the isolation I always perpetrated.
I remember looking at Draco, and thought about everything that we struggled against, just for the right to love. I stared at his unblemished skin, and remember the sound of my heartbeat reverberating in my ears.
I remember thinking back on all those people who died, how I always passively accepted their death with the justification that in a war…death was inevitable.
But the war was over; I was no longer going to be so accepting.
Lastly, I remember shouting at Ginny to "shut the fuck up", before I raised my wand.
Naturally, she reacted in defense.
The spells were cast a fraction apart. But the moment before my body was hit, I saw Hermione.
I don't know how long she had been standing there, nor do I know the spell she cast in my direction.
But I do know that I stayed long enough to witness the horrible and victorious death of Ginny Weasley.
Then I was gone.
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A/N: Wait! Don't hate me yet! There is still another chapter left!
Thank you for reading, please leave a review?
Charmina: I hope you remembered the tissue. So, let's discuss how much I loved your review. I REALLY LOVED YOU REVIEW! Thank you and thank you and thank you! This is going to sound like a weird comment, but you really know how to compliment a person. I was so honored when I saw your name pop up in my review list, then to hear you say such wonderful things? It blows me away. I do plan to continue writing, already have another story in mind in fact! But my true wish is that you continue to visit me with your sweet words and loving personality.
Draco8448: Thank you for the review! I hope you have made it through the rest of the story and continued to enjoy it.
Silver Emerald Eyes: Ah, the best for last. It's official, I am in love with you. I have even erected a small shrine in your honor!
That's really funny about the other review, and I am super glad that it didn't happen with the last one. I am also glad that my comments helped your forget the stress, but you really deserve it. From the moment you first reviewed, you have made me feel SO special and appreciated. There is no way that I can ever thank you properly.
Thank you for noticing the little details! The Gryffindor angle was EXACTLY what I had in mind when I had them leave the money on the counter. And the owls? I am very sorry about bringing up sad memories, but it was my own RL stuff that helped me write that scene. So I can completely understand. The love of an animal is so unconditional, it's almost as if they think they are betraying us when they have to leave. Meanwhile, I am just glad that my life was touched with theirs.
Didn't mean to gross you out, I keep doing that don't I? I hope you heeded the warning at the beginning and stayed away from anything to induce the gag reflex. And yes, the girl in the final scene was Hermione. I felt terrible about dissolving the Burrow, but I had to make it profound only because of how profound it has been in Harry's life.
To answer some of your questions: Yes, the chapters are slowly advancing in time, all heading towards the inevitable. You guessed it! The last chapter will be in the present. No, I don't have a LJ account, but it's something that I have wanted. I guess I should really focus on getting that started. Hope the abiogenesis theory worked out for you! Stay precious, and I can't wait to see your thoughts on this chapter.