Thanks to Michelle for the idea and Kay for her kind words.
Prologue
Bile slithered its way up his throat and threatened to press past his tongue and be expelled from his mouth. He was, simply put, disgusting himself.
Gregory House had never been that man. He'd never been the overly jealous type, one to question every sideways glance one of his "lady friends" might make at another man. There was no sneaking a peek at the credit card statements for him, no suspicious looks when she would come in hours too late.
The supine form of her body draped by his, alongside his, was enough to sedate any anger that might have flared up within him. Her kisses kept his questions quiet and dormant and though they were there, he felt no need ever uttering them.
He'd never loved quite like he did when he was in Stacey's arms and he doubted if he ever would again. Trust had built on more trust had built on more trust and then hate and something so like love that it was hard to really distinguish. The ways in which he had allowed himself to submit, to give, to have, they were all so new to him at the time and now were just another thing that lent to being so jaded.
Sandpaper fingers trailed down and over precise shorthand. It took him a moment to pick out the words but soon enough he was skimming over therapy records, Stacey's therapy records, for the past few months. It was wrong, totally and completely and utterly, utterly, wholly wrong. But his eyes refused to tear themselves away from the scribbles of black ink.
He was looking for his name, just his name. Just Greg, maybe a House, but a Greg would really make his heart leap.
Leap or sink? What was he looking for anyway? He didn't particularly want her back... and yet he hadn't gotten over her. Was he that easy to get over? Was five years even worth a blip in a manila folder?
His eyes skimmed the sloppy words and stumbled over the name James. There were no mentions of any Gregs, but the name James kept popping up left and right. He knew who it was, knew what it meant, somewhere in the back of his mind but he refused to acknowledge it. He couldn't; he wouldn't.
If House felt guilty, it was nothing like guilt that had been penned on the pages. So much of it; so many pages of guilt and how she felt guilt and how she wanted all of it to disappear. And she was sorry, that was in there too. So sorry and so guilty.
The name 'James' appeared one more time, towards the end, next to the word 'affair' and with that House shoved the file back into the cabinet and retreated from the room calmly.
A little too calmly for even his liking.
TBC