Chapter Five: We Can Work It Out
Lucas smiled when he awoke with Haley's blonde head resting on his broad shoulder, his head resting on hers, fitting into each other perfectly. For him, it was a surprisingly familiar feeling. Back in the days of "us against the world" they'd had sleepovers, like siblings or girlfriends would. Even when they'd reached puberty, as the walls should have gone up between them, they hadn't. Haley and Lucas had continued to hug, physically comfort each other without romantic feelings arising.
The hairs on the nape of Haley's neck stiffened when she felt an unfamiliar presence on her neck and head: the shoulder and head of a man. She hadn't been completely abstinent in the last years, but hadn't had many relations that had lasted in staying the night, hadn't often tucked her head into the perfect space on a man's shoulder. She'd forgotten how nice it was.
She'd never felt guiltier than she did when she connected the feeling to Nathan, and realized it had been Lucas.
Lucas' neck snapped straight when Haley yanked herself out of the nook on his shoulder and sat up straight, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
"Something wrong?" asked Lucas, feeling guilty about missing the lemony scent of her shampoo. She was Haley. His Haley, but not in that way. Never could Lucas be with his brother's wife.
"Sorry about that, it's just so hard to sleep in these stupid seats," she said, laughing off the incident.
"That's alright. And hey, that was the last time. We're getting there later today, remember?" asked Lucas. Haley nodded, comprehension growing. In many ways, the train was an alternate reality, a fast moving imitation of real life, where anything could happen. She knew what would happen to their relationship the moment they stepped into the crowded, bustling station: despite promises, assurances, it would go back to what it was.
"Do you think we could be friends?" she asked suddenly.
"I don't know if it could work," he said slowly.
"Nathan wouldn't have to know. I missed you Luke," she said. He smiled when she called him Luke. So few others did.
"We can try it. I've missed you too," he said. He'd denied missing her to himself for years, but he'd never stopped.
"When I turned my back on that life I never meant to turn you away," she whispered.
"I know. He was my brother. I didn't know who to side with," he said. Haley comfortingly smoothed his blonde hair.
"You were sixteen. I don't fault you. I'll come watch you play sometime," she suggested.
"Okay. Bring your foster child so I can meet them," said Lucas.
"Deal," she agreed, discreetly wiping a minute tear from the corner of her eye. Sometimes Haley hated how uncontrollable her tears were.
"Hey, don't cry. You'll always be my best friend, remember? Here," he said, holding out his fist. Smiling, her face voice of tears, she held out her own and they knocked fists.
Hesitantly she rested her head again on his shoulder. In the past ten years, Haley had blocked out her feelings. Blocked out her love for Nathan, replaced it with her desire to become a musician. Blocked out the memory of her hometown with exciting, beautiful Manhattan.
She'd tried to replace Lucas' friendship, yet had found herself completely unable to. Underneath Chris' friendship was always his lingering desire to sleep with her. So the place in her heart that Lucas had once occupied had become a void.
When a basket full of midmorning snacks came around, Lucas plucked out of it a small package of Doritos. He frowned to himself as Haley turned down the offer.
"When did you go all Hollywood?" he wondered, pulling open the bag and letting the artificial cheese smell hit him.
"When I moved to New York and discovered how much of a bigger deal it is to be of an average, healthy weight," she lamented. He glanced worriedly at her tiny waist.
"I get to eat a lot because our coach makes us spend so much time training," said Lucas.
"That bad?" asked Haley, pulling a sympathetic face.
"Makes Whitey look like a softie," said Lucas. She giggled.
"Well, Whitey is a bit of a softie," she pointed out.
"Yeah, we just make him believe that none of us see through him. Pretty good system," he said. Making eye contact, the two friends broke into laughter that disturbed the rest of the car.
"So do you still love it?" asked Haley.
"Sure. It's intense, but it's a pretty amazing feeling, going out there, thousands of people rooting for you," said Lucas. Haley tuned him out, thinking of a similar feeling: the feel of going onto a stage, heavily made up, knowing that everyone in the place thought she was incredible. The feeling that would have meant so much more to her with just one more person thinking she was incredible.
"I remember," she said softly. She did remember. She could never forget.
"We never talked about it but back when we were kids, the five of us would separately watch you on TV every time you came on," said Lucas.
"How do you know, if you all did it separately?" she asked.
"It was obvious. We'd all come to school and avoid each other's eyes," he explained. Haley settled deeper into his shoulder.
"When did Jake become one of us? You," she said, quickly correcting her self.
"Just after you left, he came back and hooked up with Peyton. Around then. He's a good guy, Jake," said Lucas. Lucas felt her nod on his shoulder, but he didn't see it.
"Best guy for Peyton possible," said Haley. She blushed at the implication behind her words. "I didn't mean…"
"Don't. High school was a million years ago. In what kind of universe does everyone end up with their high school love?" he asked her. She shrugged.
"A universe that is kinder to high school love," she guessed. He smiled, siding with her opposed to Nathan for the first time in years.
"Then how would we know how to deal with love after we break hearts in high school?" asked Lucas.
"We wouldn't. We don't anyway. I haven't been in love since high school," said Haley. She raised an eyebrow at her own claim when it escaped her lips. Officially, she considered herself in love with her ex-husband.
"That's too bad," he said, genuine feeling behind his simple, inadequate wording.
"I'm okay. Hey, you haven't yet told me about Peyton and Jakes' youngest kid," said Haley. Lucas, eager to get back to comfortable ground, launched into an explanation of Benjamin Lucas Jagielski.
"Well he looks a lot like Jake but he acts more like Peyton…" began Lucas, as the train began to steam towards the city.
Haley felt her body tense up an hour later when the train pulled into the final destination.
The two of them, close to the exit, stood up to get out of the train amongst the first to leave. As it had been before, a train attendant threw Haley's bag down the short flight of steps, where it was caught by another uniformed worker.
Lucas walked down the stairs first and stared as Haley did the same, knowing already that their friendship would never be that easy again.
He couldn't help smiling as Haley again showed a Haley like tendency: her heel caught, and she stumbled, tripping over the last step and waving her arms wildly to stop herself from landing face first on the cold, hard platform.
The smile wiped off his face when she realized that Haley was in danger of hurting herself and instinctively he opened his arms and caught her before she could fall.
Haley smiled gratefully at him, still relishing the familiar feel of his comfortable hold. Taking advantage of opportunity, she put her arms around him in embrace. Smiling, he squeezed her as she rested her head on his broad chest.
They stood like that for a time, moving slightly for the other passengers to stream out of the train, locked in their loving embrace. Both of them were remembering a simpler time: free of basketball, heartbreak, gossip and deceit. Back in the days of Haley and Lucas.
If they had been able to see the future, would they have again chosen not to be Haley and Lucas?
Haley leaned back her head and smiled her slow smile at him.
"Keep in touch Luke," she said. Gently she reached up and brushed a kiss on his lips. A kiss that was technically completely platonic, completely innocent. A kiss that goes between friends. A kiss that they only deepened for a fraction of a second. Not as Luke and Haley, best friends forever, but as Lucas Scott, basketball pro, and Haley James, renowned musician. Two adults, completely detached from their young selves.
"Uncle Luke!" came an excited call. Haley stepped out of Lucas' embrace to see a slim, tall preteen with thick, layered dark hair and sparkling hazel eyes.
"Hey Jen!" he said, sounding genuinely delighted. He affectionately slung one are around the nearly full grown girl.
"Jenny Jagielski?" asked Haley in wonder, taking in every inch of her. From the fashionable clothes on her back to the purse hanging on her wrist, the experimental makeup on her face.
"Yeah, that's me. What's your name?" asked Jenny. Haley was slightly surprised, and slightly not, that her name had apparently not been mentioned in a decade.
"Haley. It's nice to see you again. I knew you as a baby," explained Haley, to Jenny's skeptical expression.
Haley stiffened as Peyton Sawyer's call echoed through the train station, so familiar yet far off in her mind.
"Luke, you're back! How was the ride?" asked Peyton eagerly, stepping into Lucas' arms. Haley felt a shock at the all grown up Peyton, with a ring on her finger, brown curls over her shoulders, a toddler on her hand. Peyton who hadn't even noticed her.
"It was great. How's everything going?" asked Lucas, concern reaching his lighthearted words. Unexpectedly, Peyton blushed.
"Very well, according to the doctor," she said, smiling.
"Mom, do you know Uncle Luke's friend Haley?" asked Jenny. Peyton, still facing Lucas, stiffened immediately at the mere mention of the name from her past life.
"Haley James," she breathed, the name barely making a noise. Ben went to stand with his sister, who looked on anxiously, obviously already aware of the delicacy of the situation, despite her age.
Haley stared as Peyton slowly revolved on the spot. The two women evaluated each other. Peyton noticed immediately that although she had been slimmer in high school, Haley was now considerably slimmer and shorter. Haley's vintagey, quirky style had been replaced by designer, expensive clothing that accented her figure well. Her hair was straight and blonde and fell far past her shoulders. Her makeup was the same, natural and light.
Peyton then forced herself to look into Haley's eyes. The large brown eyes that Peyton had always considered to be Haley's best feature. They were so full of emotion, of pain, of life.
"Hey Haley," she said at last. Haley smiled. She had a sneaking suspicion that Brooke would have merely stalked off. Peyton was more liable to bend broken fences.
"Peyton," she greeted her, attempting to smile. Haley was surprised at her longing to hug the girl that had been such a good friend to her.
"How're you doing?" asked Peyton carefully.
"Good. I um, ran into Luke on the train. Your kids are beautiful. And you're..?" asked Haley, subtly indicating Peyton's stomach.
"Four months. And thanks. I'll uh see you around," said the taller woman, grabbing her son's hand and motioning for her son to follow her. Sending a brief smile to Haley, Peyton led them on their way.
Haley stared after the departing foursome. It was so incredibly inevitable, that despite the promises, the truce, the love, that Lucas would leave her without a backward glance, as she had once done to him.
She pasted on a smile when a blonde with a nervous smile and round glassed came up to her.
"Haley, how was your trip?" asked the woman.
"It was great. How're you doing Lannie?" asked Haley. The two women hugged. Alanna Shaw, commonly known as Lannie, was Haley's personal assistant, and the relationship of the two hovered between friendship and business.
"The car's waiting out front," said Alanna, ushering her boss outside. Haley automatically felt for the handle of her bag, but Alanna had already taken it in hand.
Once the two reached the outdoors, they moved to enter the long black car before the public could descend on her. As Haley shoved on a pair of sunglasses, she glanced down the busy road and saw a tall blonde figure, getting into a taxi, watching her drive back to her life.
Peyton said nothing to Lucas in the car ride, but he almost didn't notice when he was bombarded with chatter from the two others. She smiled to him as he got out, he kissed her cheek, and he disappeared into his building.
"That lady, Haley, was a friend of ours a long time ago," said Peyton eventually, directing the explanation toward her surrogate daughter. The girl nodded gravely.
"Oh," she said, hoping her mother would go on.
"Yes. And she was married to Nathan for a little while, and she was Lucas' best friend," explained Peyton. Jenny nodded again at the news, not calculating how young the two of them had been.
"So they were just friends?" asked Jenny cautiously. Peyton nodded affirmatively, glad that Jenny hadn't been alarmed at the news of the Naley of the past life.
"Good friends," said Peyton.
"They were kissing, when I came up," said Jenny casually, leaping out of the taxi when it came to their building.
Author's note: Thank you so much for all the reviews! Especially all those nice long detailed ones I've been getting.
Coming up (In the near future, if not neccessarily next chapter)
A Naley encounter. The introduction of Haley's foster child. More Peyton news.