Chapter 6

Legal Disclaimer-This is a work of Fanfiction. The owners of these characters have no idea that I am writing this fanfiction, and I would be flattered if they read it.

Author's Notes-Guys, I love the reviews. Keep them coming. Pierce will make an appearance soon. I promise. Hope you all like Henry. I was scared by him in "Nothing to Fear" so, bringing him back is way too fun.

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Emma had expected him to pass out. She knew that the walls he had built were high enough to cause him problems, she even knew that he wouldn't know what to do once they were down. His vitals were steady, so this was more of his mind shutting off than his body. Part of her knew that he would try to go to a place of solitude, but she couldn't find him in the meadow location that they had created years ago.

She remembered the conversation as she sat staring at his still form. It had been years ago, but she felt like it was yesterday.

"If anything happens to you and you can't talk to me, I want you to remember your safest memory," she told him one night as they lay in bed talking about the past, "We can use it as a meeting place. Just tell me about it and I'll try to recreate in your mind."

He had described a meadow just over the hill from his parents place. It was always one of those places you read about in novels about not being able to go home again. It was wide, wild, and perfect for a little boy to get lost in. Jesse remembered it later as a place he ran to when he needed to think, or get away from his parents arguments. It's also where he realized that he was a little different from everyone else because the meadow was the first place he actually discovered that he could phase. For him, it was home.

She had recreated it with the most colors her mind could fathom, adding the memories she had of peaceful places from when she was growing up and discovering her own powers and what they possessed. She knew he loved it when he saw it, and their recent experience was enough to make her want to run back there screaming. She was craving serenity. The uneasiness that she felt from everyone since Lexa and Pierce were kidnapped was making her ache for solitude.

She closed her eyes and let herself settle into a meditative state where she could go to the meadow, hoping to find him somewhere in her psionic travels. She had kicked herself for encouraging him to let the walls down, but she knew that it was the right thing to do. They had to find Pierce and Lexa. Jesse's last moments with Pierce were horrible and if they didn't…Emma sighed outwardly. This was not the way to think.

You're right, it's not, a familiar voice joined her thoughts.

Jesse? She said in her thoughts, hoping that it was his voice she heard.

She looked for Jesse in the meadow that she knew he loved and discovered he wasn't there.

Keep looking, I'm here, Jesse continued, I don't think I can make the meadow, Em.

His inner voice sounded stronger than the childlike one she had heard earlier, but something sounded very wrong. She kept walking through the halls of her mind and what very well could have been Jesse's mind and stopped. Something didn't feel right. She turned a corner walked through a doorway and into a room she had hoped to never see again.

She was standing in the Pod staging area, from the now defunct Genomax days. It was in perfect working order, and Jesse was sitting on the edge of a closed pod. His head was down, as if he was looking at the occupant and feeling guilty over it. She walked up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder. He didn't move, he just put a hand on hers.

"Why are you here?" she asked, her wonder more of a dread, "You know that you control where you go in these situations, Jesse."

"Emma, if I knew how to control these images, I would never be here," Jesse said, his voice flat, "I opened my eyes and I was sitting here. I could barely hear you, the voices got so loud. The darkness was a much more comfortable place. Sorry if I scared you back there, that wasn't my intention."

"There must be a reason you are here then, can you think of one?" she asked, moving in to sit across from him on the pod's base, "Did the lab you were in look like this? Is this what you remember from Henry?"

Jesse let go of her hand and stood up. He didn't look at her.

"Yes," his reply was softly spoken, "You might remember that Henry could pull out our biggest fears, and this one was one of my biggest. I thought I had clobbered it. Guess not huh?"

"I guess," Emma replied, "You okay Jesse?"

Jesse was bitter. He was bitter, angry, and lost in his own mind. He knew his wife was trying to help him, loved her for it, but the desire to scream was becoming overwhelming.

"Am I okay?" Jesse laughed, the laugh sounding hollow, "Emma, you know that Henry found out our darkest fears and used them against us, but, no one in my life in Mutant X has ever asked me my fondest wish. We lived through so much together, before and after Mutant X that this time, I really don't know if I can live through it. I'm so tired."

Emma didn't answer. She just let Jesse talk. The anger radiating off him wasn't the rage she had felt earlier, this time it was more frustration over things that Jesse couldn't change. He needed to get this out, it had probably been building for years.

"I loved this family," Jesse continued, letting the tension leave his body, "To see them spilt so violently hurt. Adam left, came back then was kidnapped. You know, we tried to get him back, and you, until we were certain that you were gone. Then my life was dedicated to keeping the group together and fighting the Dominion. Some fight. They won. They got us to blow up Sanctuary, blow up the Helix and be separated from Adam. We spilt so fast, Emma. I'm surprised that Lexa and I even had time to…"

"Create Pierce, go on," Emma interrupted.

Jesse's slight smile was bitter as well as his voice. He continued.

"I got myself a life, a quiet peaceful normal life," he turned to look at her, "Sure, it's not easy being part of the Service, but I was good at it, wasn't I?"

Emma nodded. The past few weeks had been eating at Jesse. It was about time that he admitted it.

"You have a great life Jesse," she said.

"Had, Emma," Jesse looked at the floor, "All the time that I have helped people, I had Mutant X hiding in the background. Now, all I have is Mutant X, or what's left of it. At the same time, this damned power has made my life miserable. All I wanted was a normal life, a woman who loved me for me and the possibility of a child. Instead I'm a freak with an uncontrollable power, an ex-girlfriend who hates me and a child who wants to hurt me. Some dream life huh? All I have is you. The only thing I can thank God for. I wound up with your powers as well, and I can't even control that."

Emma stood up. The Jesse she had fallen in love with many years ago was the man standing in front of her. She had never once seen him feeling sorry for himself, she knew of his sensitivity to the being labeled a freak He had been hurting for a very long time.

"Yeah, I guess I have been hurting for a long time," he said aloud, "Sorry, I couldn't help but read that one."

Emma smiled. He knew he had done it, but wait, he had done it.

"Jesse," she got up and walked over to him, "You read it. You realize that your walls are down now, right?"

Jesse shook his head.

"Yep, they are, lucky me," his tone was still flat, "I can hear everything."

She lifted his down turned face by the chin to look into his eyes. The pain she met there was horrifying. He was angry and very lost.

"Jesse," she continued, "You can hear Lexa, can't you?"

Jesse looked at her. He had heard the fear and anxiety of Lexa the second the last bit of the wall was down. Lexa could hear him, but she had turned him away, the only return thought he had from her was not to let her hurt him. She was protecting everyone. For him to even try and reach her he kept seeing a closed door behind a blanket of light.

"She doesn't want me to help her," Jesse said, " And I don't think that I could if she would let me."

Emma didn't know how to reply.

Adam Kane looked at the two people in his medical lab and knew that he could wait no longer. Brennan had commed him that they had Henry Voight and were bringing him in. He knew it would be minutes until they landed and it had been an hour since Emma had grabbed Jesse's hand and gone completely silent. Jesse's life signs had remained steady and he had fallen into sleep after blacking out. Adam knew from earlier research that Jesse needed it more than he would admit.

He walked toward them hating himself for breaking the serenity of the moment, but he knew that he had to. He touched Emma's shoulder.

She opened her eyes and blankly looked at him. He waited. He knew it took a few moments.

"What?" she asked, her tone more angry than questioning.

"They found Henry, Jesse's life signs are fine," Adam began, "They should be here any minute. How is he?"

Emma looked down at her sleeping husband. He seemed peaceful, but she knew better. She smoothed the edge of the hair on his forehead.

"Wrecked," she admitted, "The walls are down. He heard Lexa then she pushed him away."

"Wow. I didn't know she could do that," Adam met Emma's sad gaze with a worried one of his own.

"He's got lots of guilt issues," Emma said, "He doesn't feel like he's helping in any way."

"We wouldn't have found Henry without him, doesn't he realize that? Without him we wouldn't have Pierce, without him we wouldn't have each other again," Adam said, looking at Emma, "Can you go back to him and let him know that?"

Emma smiled. Adam might not have the ability, but he knew when to say the right thing.

"Yes."

Emma leaned on the edge of the medical bed and closed her eyes. It didn't take long, but she knew that it had gotten worse since her moments of leaving. Jesse had sat back down on the edge of the pod, his eyes at the floor. He didn't speak, he just sat there and by the sounds, she knew he had done something she feared. He had burst into tears. She came up behind him and gently touched his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," she said, "Adam brought me out to tell me that they found Henry. Brennan and Shalimar are on their way with him. He also said you have to stop tearing yourself apart."

"He didn't say that, you did," Jesse said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

Emma smiled.

"Yeah, I did and I'm right," Emma said, "Pull yourself together, Jesse. We're here for you."

"I can't control this Emma," Jesse finally admitted, "I can't help reading everyone, I can't help having people close themselves off to me and I can't even read my own son. It's great that you're all there for me, but I can't do this."

"Can't or won't?" Emma asked coldly, "You know how to do this."

Jesse glared at her. It was the first time she had been direct with him about the process. She had shown him all that she could. It was time for him to fly solo.

"I guess it's a won't," Jesse sighed.

Emma took his face in her hands. Her eyes met his.

"You can do this, I want you to do this on your own and remember this," she said, kissing him on the lips, "I will always love you."

Jesse took her in his arms and kissed her back.

When he opened his eyes, she was sitting next to him, her eyes closed and her face serene. He was back and ready to face whatever it would take to get Pierce and Lexa back.