Backstep

Legal Disclaimer-Hello Attorneys. This is fanfic. Therefore, there is NO money being made from this story. It's helping the author's sanity. Please understand that. Thank you.

Author's Note-So, you guys missed me. I missed me too. Mutant X fan, I appreciate the reviews, the guilt trips work to a point, but please, I can only take so much. Aniki, BJ, I love you guys, thanks for sticking with me. This is VERY dark. Enjoy it. I'm enjoying it more…

Chapter 10

The flight home was mixed with quiet and frustration. Pierce had come to for a few moments then faded back into unconsciousness, worrying the team. Emma had kept silent on what she had felt and seen in her vision, only focusing on the little boy that lay in her husband's arms.

The team knew that Pierce was the link and getting him out of there and to Adam as fast as they could might bring them the answers as to where Lexa was. They had missed her by mere moments and the frustration that brought was like a heavy humidity to the team. No one had spoken since takeoff, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Shalimar had joined Brennan at the cockpit, her hand on his arm keeping him calm. She had seen the look on his face of sheer frustration when he couldn't find Lexa. She found herself staring out at the passing clouds, wondering where Lexa was.

Emma saw Jesse through different eyes. She had seen her husband struggle through his powers, his gaining of control, but then the last few hours had hardened him. He was angry. He was also very lost. He had told her everything about how he felt about Lexa. The only thing he had never told her was how at home she had made him feel. The thought of her actually being gone, unreachable and possibly dead hurt him more than he would admit, and his guilt over what it was doing to his marriage was scaring him. He didn't have the words to explain it to her, but he loved Emma and he loved Lexa. She knew that just by the look he gave her from across the Strand, but he couldn't figure out his level of love for Lexa. Emma was still the fire in his heart.

Jesse looked at the boy in his arms and gently pushed the hair out of the boys eyes. He knew that Pierce would be okay, he could feel it, but he needed the boy to join them in the land of the living. Pierce was the last person to see Lexa alive. He would know what the people looked like. He might be able to tell them what they said to her. Jesse looked over at Emma and sighed. He wished he could have spoken with her before they got on board, she had seen something, he knew it, but her silence was hers alone. Jesse looked over at Henry, who had respected the silence and kept his eyes on the sky outside the craft.

Jesse's silence was echoed by Shalimar and Brennan. Brennan was frustrated. He knew that they had missed Lexa by moments, Shalimar had smelled the fear radiating from what they surmised was Lexa's jail cell. Something pretty horrible had gone down. They flew through the dim twilight back to Haven, Brennan setting the Strand down quietly, then hitting the edge of the craft in frustration.

Shalimar grabbed his arm. The familiarity of the couple enabled her to calm him with a touch, but the frustration ran down the edge of his spine with the electricity he controlled. He took a breath to calm himself then stood up. They were going to figure out where she was if it killed them. He then looked at Jesse with Pierce curled up in his arms. It almost had killed one of them. Not speaking, he helped Jesse with Pierce as they headed to Adam. Jesse could have read his thoughts; at that point Brennan didn't care. His focus, like the entire craft, had turned to the much too quiet child.

Adam took Pierce into their medical lab, placing the small body on the table and quietly asking Emma to help him with the initial exams of the boy. One glance at Jesse from Adam told him to go work on ways to find Lexa. Jesse took the unspoken command and went to the closest computer terminal to get to work. At least that would keep his mind off of Pierce.

"Tell me what you are feeling," Adam said to Emma, breaking the silence that the telempath had brought in with her, "Have you had anyhits off of Pierce?"

Emma breathed in for a moment then looked up at Adam.

"Not off of him, but," Emma found herself doing like Jesse, brushing the lock of hair that tended to fall into Pierce's eyes off his forehead, "Lexa blew. She saw them starting to drug up Pierce and blew the wall up behind them. They had to blast her with a tranq dart to get her down, but she wasn't there. It was like I was looking at some kind of animal."

Adam sighed. What he had feared had come true. Lexa should have been able to control the amount of light she was exposed to, given the right amount of rest and exposure. The study of the mutancy was something he wrote for a journal that had gotten him into Genomax. It was a theory, but to hear it had actually come true was terrifying. He hoped to hell that she wasn't completely gone.

The group had agreed with Pierce at least being observed, that they could take the time needed for their other major concern, Lexa. After setting the computers to interact with the ones inside the Strand, they headed back out to the site, hoping to see if any footwork would lead to clues on where to find her. Jesse knew that Pierce was safe in Adam's hands, but he still felt horrible leaving him.

On their way back, they had dropped Henry off at his home, a commlink in hand, just in case he ever needed their help. Henry had wanted to stay with them, but, as Jesse had pointed out, he had a family as well, and they needed him more. Voight didn't argue the logic.

Jesse had grown quiet since they left Henry. Brennan watched him from his co-pilot's seat, wondering how to approach him.

"You okay?" he asked, watching his friend's gaze go million mile.

Jesse turned.

"Sorry," Jesse mumbled, clicking a switch in front of him, "Didn't mean to zone out on you there."

"Understandable," Brennan replied, "We will find her."

"I know that, Bren, I know," Jesse said, "I keep thinking what if and I know that I have to stop that. I'm glad that we have Pierce and all, but, what if things had been different."

"Things are, Jesse," Brennan stated, "You found Emma, you got a life outside of Mutant X. Shal and I created our own life together. Lexa went and found a life for herself. We went on."

Jesse nodded.

"The anger and rage I felt toward her," Jesse said softly, "Five years is too long to be carrying it around. I should have confronted her earlier about all this."

Brennan didn't answer, he kept the controls steady and let his friend pour his soul out. He had seen the look of guilt cross his face when they couldn't find signs of Lexa. He knew that Jesse was blaming himself for the woman's disappearance.

"She knew that you cared, man," Brennan said, "She was as upset as you were, but you both share one thing in common now and forever."

"And thankfully, he's going to be okay, but I have to admit, I don't know if we're going to be able to get through to her," Jesse admitted, "From what Adam has told me about her overload potential, we're going to need everyone on deck when we find her."

"She's one of us, and deep down she knows it," Brennan met Jesse's distant gaze, "Don't worry bro, she'll be with us."

Without them, Lexa Pierce didn't know or care who she was. When the Director had decided it was time for her to leave her prison, she was beyond her breaking point. Her ability to bend light was in her genetic code, but her need for light was both physical and physiological. The amount of time she had been denied light had caused her emotional state to become irratic, yet something in her had protected Pierce. They had to sedate her to get her out, but her outburst over their medicating the child had proved to them she had a connection to the child. As much as the Director had wanted to keep the child, the men he had hired knew that she would be the bigger and harder prize to keep under control and had taken their punishments when Pierce's abandonment had been revealed. They really didn't like or care for Lexa now, and knew that with her emotional state, she was not a loaded weapon, but an explosive cannon, ready to go off at a moment's notice. She would have to be controlled.

They had moved to a hotel in Washington D.C. Lexa had been dressed like a business professional, drugged, and escorted to a room in the hotel. With the right amount of generosity, the staff had left the group alone, which in turn left Lexa to their will. She was fed regularly, but kept in the penthouse, in the darkness. They drugged her so she slept, they drugged her so she woke, and one of the director's people, a rare woman in the group, made sure that Lexa remained clean and ready for the right moment.

It was a dangerous job, but it needed to be done. At least that's what they were told and paid extra for. Lexa, on the other hand, didn't know where she was, and didn't care. As long as the drugs kept her sleeping, she didn't have to worry about light or dark. She usually was curled in a ball on the bed.

"Dammit, I wish I could reach her," Jesse exclaimed, frustrated as they looked over the cell again, "Every single time I have tried, it's the same door. She won't let me in."

Brennan stopped and looked around the room that they had vacated in a hurry. Jesse's frustration was understandable. He felt the same way.

"Guys, have a look at this," Shalimar called Brennan over, "You have any idea what that is?"

Brennan and Jesse looked down at the area that Shalimar pointed to. While the area that Lexa had been in was covered in water, the area where they had kept Pierce was covered in darkness. Jesse could see the outlines of a cot, a small light, and a blanket. They had kept him tied to the cot and Jesse inwardly shuddered.

Shalimar knelt next to the puddle and felt it. She then put a finger in it and smelt it. It was burnt.

"It's like she's burnt water," she said, "I never knew she could do this."

"Well, she can," Jesse added, looking down at the puddle, "We joked once about her being able to boil water faster than Brennan."

Emma, who had remained quiet the entire trip looked again at the wall where Lexa had been kept. Slowly and carefully she put a hand out to the wall and felt one of the cuffs that had held Lexa.

The emotions were overpowering and brought her into the horror she knew that Lexa had gone through. She had hung there, wallowing in her own self pity, blaming herself for the capture, and the other captures in her life. She knew that she had done wrong to Jesse by having the abortion, she knew that she was no longer part of the team, and her mentor, the only man who she could even consider a father, was a mere clone of a monster. She couldn't find a base, but she felt the fire that lit her blood.

As the lights would turn off, she could see the waves change. She wanted to blow off the extra energy that had built up but was frustrated when she couldn't. It had actually begun to hurt. The pain had been worse the more that she thought about it so she stopped thinking about it. She knew that eventually that would take her sanity, but if it would stop the pain, it was worth it.

Emma shuddered outwardly. It was as if Lexa was saying goodbye in her own way, very quickly. The images of Pierce fighting the men who drugged him then filled her vision and Lexa went crazy. She blasted the walls behind them, making sure that they dropped Pierce. She should be their one concern, not the innocent child that they brought with her. Part of her knew that the Director would use him as a pawn to get her to do what they wanted and she didn't want that. The distraction she hoped would work. She also left one image for Emma, that of the target.

Emma opened her eyes to Jesse facing her. She was on the floor, Jesse had her head in his lap, and his concern was totally concentrated on her. He was wanting to find out more, but he had respected her thoughts. The pain radiated there of not knowing what to do.

"You back with us?" he asked.

Emma nodded, unable to speak. Her eyes filled with tears. It always hurt to go this far in a situation, but she knew that she had to, and she had done it willingly.

"What did you see?" Jesse asked softly, "Please Emma."

"She did everything she could to hold on," Emma said, her voice breaking, "They want her to kill the president, and to stop the pain she's in, she agreed to it. She blasted them to drop Pierce, she wants him to know that she gave up saving his life."

Brennan, Jesse and Shalimar all looked at Emma. Lexa had given up.