"MERMAID!" screamed Beckett at a half-conscious McKay. "YOU TURNED US INTO BLOODY MERMAIDS!"

"Well….technically you're a merman but uh…..yeeeeah…..I did do that it seems."

"I'M GOIN TA BLOODY KILL YA!" The transformed medical officer lunged at the scientist, tangling himself in water, an unconscious Zelenka, and a rather large green, scaly tail. "ARRRRRGH"

"Just….calm down, we're all in the same boat here, I'm sure there's a reversal!"

"There BETTER be a bloody reversal or I'll bloody reverse you myself!" Beckett screamed, chasing the scientist around the lab table, each unsuccessfully maneuvering their new tails and leaving a trail of destruction behind. "DAMN YOU RODNEY!"

"Hello? Hello, is anyone there? John" …Teyla? …McKay? Someone, anyone, please answer me." Weir's concerned voice came over the intercom.

"We're bloody here Elizabeth," Beckett shot through clenched teeth. An audible sigh of relief was heard on the other end of the line.

"Thank God! Are all of you there?"

"Well, there was a bit of a mishap," Beckett glared at McKay who at least looked rather pathetic by now. "McKay and I are conscious, but the rest of the team is still out. We're all alive, no need to panic."

"Well, you were panicking pretty bad a moment ago Beckett." piped up McKay, sensing exactly the wrong moment to talk.

"You turned us into bloody mermaids Rodney, what in the blasted hell do you expect?"

"Mermen Beckett. Mermen"

"Rodney I don't really care what the blasted correct term is I'm going to freaking tear you limb from freaking limb…" Beckett threatened, swishing a few lengths towards the cowering merman.

"WHAT!" shouted Weir over the intercom.

"Blood and bloody hell, look what you've done NOW Rodney!"

"She would've figured it out sooner or later!" He whined, which of course did not affect Beckett's advance in the tiniest.

"We'll be right there!" yelled Weir, disconnecting the intercom.

"I'm doomed," whimpered McKay, arms outstretching to keep of the raving medical officer. Teyla groaned from behind Beckett, saving McKay from a dreadful end in the nick of time. Beckett's medical instincts took over and he rushed to her side.

"I think Teyla here's the one who screamed when we all went under. I hope she's alright." Beckett patted her cheek gently in an attempt to revive her before she could faint again.

"Actually Carson…that was me."

"Figures." Teyla groaned again, louder this time. "Doctor, what is happening?" she plead, staring up at him. As if I light bulb flashed, understand lit her face as she turned her head to see her face. "Oh God, it was not a dream…" she moaned.

"Stay with my now lass, can't have you fading off again now." Suddenly Teyla's eyes opened wide with fear and she sat up as abruptly as she could managed, considering her feet had fused together into a scaly purple tail and she hung in mid-water. "John…is the Colonel alright?" she demanded of Beckett, grabbing his arm and looking around wildly.

"He's fine, just fine lass. Still sleeping 's all. Be around soon I suspect," Beckett tried to soothe her, knowing it wasn't too good to be moving around much just yet.

Hey you two, where'd the floor go?" Rodney asked shakily, staring beneath him. The two others glared before looking down in surprise.

"Perhaps it took a walk with our very human legs," flung out Teyla, words dripping with hostility.

"I think you have been hanging out with John just a bit too much lately lass," Beckett said wryly, grinning at the Ethosian. She looked taken aback and demanded why he would think such a thing. "You just sound like him's all, no need to get worked up!" He held out his hands defensively, floating backwards slightly.

"I am sorry, I did not mean to distress you Carson." she smiled softly before swimming to a stop beside the Colonel. "I am just worried about my teammates."

"I understand."

By that time Zelenka had awoken, unbeknownst to the others. It appeared that he had taken to the transition quite well and he spun through the water easily, swishing his tail behind with a gigantic smile on his face, yammering away in Czech. Actually, the only thing that seemed to affect him adversely was the fact that his glasses kept trying to float away. "Ever been a mermaid before?" Beckett teased the Czech scientist. He got a shock as Zelenka simply nodded before swimming off happily, leaving behind an extremely dazed Beckett.

Meanwhile….

"Did they just say mermaids?" Weir demanded of Grodin, her face full of shock.

"I do believe they did." He responded quickly, an equally shocked expression on his face.

TBC.