Author: mikenike
Rating: PG
Character: Ukitake Jyuushirou
Note: Characters belong to Kubo Tite. No character development as this is just an inane drabble.
The night blanketed the whole of Soul Society, eclipsing the emotions of the lone walking shinigami. The silver-haired man slowly walks towards his ugendou, the hall of dried rains, and wishes that he had walked into the body of water that surrounds the floating building. Instead, he walks to the front entrance and places his head gently on the door as he quickly contemplates what had happened earlier tonight.
He pushes open the door and quietly enters his home, the home that he shared with friends he lost not two hours ago. He realizes that he will never again see them enter through the door he himself just entered. The realization pains his heart, bringing him into a fit of bloody coughing. He takes away his hand from his mouth and sees his blood unite with the blood of the dead, making him find a semblance of emotion.
The man makes dreaded steps to the bathroom, disrobing himself along the away. Each step is slow but disconcerting as each step taken brings on a new level of emotion that he does not want to acknowledge.
He steps into the bathroom, his fingers lightly dragging a trailing piece of clothing. He peers at himself in the mirror, noticing the haggard reflection of a man who believes that there are two types of fights: fights to defend life and fights to defend pride. He had just lost a friend who died trying to protect his pride… but he now questions his belief. Was it right to stay out of the battle just for his friend's pride? And was it right to let the man be killed by the one who secretly loves him? What happens to her pride?
The man bangs a bloodied fist on a corner of the sink, breaking off pieces of porcelain. He then turns on the shower and immediately steps under the falling rain. The sudden fall of temperature on his skin breaks the shield that covers his emotion. As the temperature elevates, so does his desire to completely break the covering shield.
The man looks down, sees the draining water become a hue of red. He feels the water running down his back, the shield starting to assuage. With each drop of water, he becomes more engulfed in his emotions, letting go of himself.
Suddenly, the water becomes too heavy and causes him to fall to his knees. The water at its hottest, his shield gone, he finally succumbs to the pain that hid in his heart. Tears begin to fall from his eyes, and his breaths become more ragged with each minute.
"WHY?" he screams, and more blood spews from his mouth amidst a bout of hacking coughs. He places an arm on the wall in front of him and cries into it. He accepts it, takes it all in.
The water cries along with him as well, helping him to wash away the pain. When the pain is receded to a small flicker in his heart, the lonely shinigami knows that, however large the pain deep inside, that in the end, it will be okay.