See Prologue for Ratings and Disclaimer.

Well, we're entering the home stretch now, I'm sorry to say. But there's still a little bit more to go, so...yeah. The reviews have been wonderful, you guys are the best - please keep them coming!

Any and all mistakes (barring the gorram QE word-squish) are mine alone (figures, I leave this out of the last chapter and find more than one obvious error in the text...oiy).

PART TWENTY-THREE - Deniability

Beka Valentine lay in bed aboard the Maru, staring into the darkness as she tried to fall asleep. But sleep evaded her as her thoughts ran faster than she could keep up, replaying the events of several hours ago as vividly as if they were happening at that very moment.

She couldn't explain her reaction, her multiple reactions. Okay, sure, her first hesitation could be rationed away, and it had - wouldn't most human women have reservations about getting involved with a Nietzschean, especially one with his background? But she had moved past that at the time, obviously.

It wasn't the fact that he was Nietzschean that had scared her, although it was a convenient excuse. No, in her mind, now that she was able to reflect on it, she knew the true reason - commitment.

Now that was a word that could turn her veins to ice. And nothing said Nietzschean more than that one word…well, for the most part. And that fact hadn't hit her until she'd heard his words of…his words. It was then that the realization that Nietzscheans took their relationships very seriously came crashing down on her, weighing so heavily that she couldn't breathe, couldn't think, that made her scramble out of that room as fast as she could.

Sure, he hadn't said anything to indicate commitment, but Beka wasn't about to chance it, not with a Nietzschean. And by his words, it was clear whatever did happen - whatever might have happened - meant more to him than a bit of fun and need. But that's all it was for her, wasn't it?

Of course that's all I want, she admonished herself. Otherwise that damn word and its meaning wouldn't scare the hell out of me.

Realizing this line of thinking was not conducive to the slumber she sought, Beka willed herself to ignore the battle of rationale currently raging in her brain.

Closing her eyes, she focused on nothing, allowing the darkness to lull her into unconsciousness. But in one small corner the memory of earlier replayed over and over, keeping her just on the edge of oblivion. And so, she was aware just enough to make out the sound of footsteps echoing through the smaller ship.

Beka slowly opened her eyes, confused at first, but she soon grew wary. She quietly got out of her bed and threw a shirt over her bare shoulders, the pistol on a nearby table quickly found its way into her hand.

She made her way through the ship silently, not risking turning on any lights, merely making her way by memory. As she moved closer to the exit, intermittent lights caused her to blink until she became accustomed to them, and the sound of whispered voices carried to her ears. As she rounded a corner and saw who it was, she sighed and let the armed hand drop to her side.

"I told you we shouldn't disturb her," Rommie told her companion.

"I wasn't sleeping," Beka replied, a split second after Trance's "She wasn't sleeping." The pilot gave her golden friend a strange look, but Trance merely shrugged.

"Good," Rommie replied brightly, then turned to woman beside her. She and Trance shared an indecipherable look.

Beka raised her eyebrows, skeptical. The two were occupying the area they had unofficially declared their "Girl Talk" space. What were the odds that they felt the need to congregate there during the same night as Beka's own crisis?

Wait…when did it become a crisis She shook her head slightly to drive the thought away, then focussed her attention on the two in front of her.

"Okay, so tell me," she demanded with a small smile, sliding down into one of the free chairs and curling her feet up underneath her, "Why exactly are you here?"

"We like it here?" Rommie asked innocently, not even bothering to sound convincing.

"Uh huh…" Beka nodded. "And the real reason?"

Trance and Rommie shared that look again. Then Trance turned to her human friend. "Well, you see…" she began, uncharacteristically timid, "I had this feeling, and Rommie had this surveillance footage…."

Beka's face contorted into a mixed expression of shock and horror as she stared at the android. "You did NOT…"

Rommie gave the First Officer a rather uncomfortable smile. "Well, no one engaged privacy mode, and I am everywhere…" she trailed off as Beka hung her head in embarrassment. "If it makes you feel better," she began again, "It's not like it wasn't completely unexpected."

Beka flung her head back and sighed. "Oh, because that makes everything much bet…" suddenly she snapped her head up to look at Rommie, then at Trance, who merely nodded. "Wait," her voice was suddenly very, very serious. "What?"

Rommie and Trance looked at each other once more, causing Beka to demand, a little more forcefully than she had intended, "Would you two stop doing that?"

Trance turned to her and gave her an understanding smile. "Beka, we've seen the way you two have been with each other--"

"So what?" Beka interrupted incredulously. "So we were friends, is that really that hard to believe?"

Rommie looked like she was about to say something to that effect, but Trance beat her, calling on Beka's wording. "Were?"

Beka turned to her and paused a moment, the meaning of her words sinking in. She hung her head, mentally exhausted. "I don't know. I have no idea what's going on in his head now."

"And what about your head?"

Beka slowly looked up, her voice defensive. "And what do you mean by that?"

"Well," Rommie began, attempted to phrase her comment as delicately as possible, "In the beginning, at least, you weren't exactly resisting."

Beka's jaw dropped in disbelief, unable to form any words.

"What we mean, Beka," Trance spoke gently, "Is…have you stopped to think that maybe a part of you wanted to be with him?"

"Well I would think that's fairly obvious," Beka replied, shooting Rommie a look. The avatar shrugged innocently. "I mean, it's not like I've had any in…" she trailed off and cleared her throat in embarrassment.

Beka looked between her two female companions for a few moments, then shook her head. "I just wanted to have some fun. But I can tell you, that's definitely not what he had in mind. Well…it was…but it was more. For him."

"Are you sure?"

She let out a small, sardonic laugh. "Yeah Trance, from his actions it was pretty clear."

"I'm not talking about Rhade," Trance corrected, causing Beka to frown in confusion. "Are you sure that's all you wanted?"

Beka opened her mouth to answer in the affirmative - her head was telling her, without a doubt, that it was. But the expression of confusion on her face only intensified. For some reason, with her lips ready to speak the words, no sound came out.

-o-

On her way to Command the next day, Beka couldn't help but feel a sense of apprehension. Rhade would be there, and she didn't quite know what kind of mood he would be in. She could only imagine how she'd react if their roles were reversed. As it was, she was finding every excuse to drag her feet that morning.

Finally she had no choice but to step through those doors. Upon entering, she was immediately met with Dylan's, "So you decided to join us, then?"

She paused on the ramp leading to the center of Command and gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry," she said, her eyes then roving to the pilot console, and the Nietzschean operating it. "Rough night."

When Rhade glanced at her, she was expecting some sort of expression of anger, disappointment…anything. Instead he just gave her a quick glance, a brief nod to acknowledge her presence, and then he returned to his duties.

"Well don't make a habit of it," Dylan's voice broke through, bringing her attention back to him. "Lead by example."

"Right," she nodded.

Dylan moved off, and Beka took a deep breath before heading over to Rhade.

From the corner of his eye he saw her coming and he stepped away from the controls, prepared to let her take over. He turned when she arrived.

"Good morning," he replied, smiling pleasantly. Once she was passed he stepped down and headed to the weapons station.

Beka stepped up to the controls, frowning and discretely watching her Nietzschean crewmate as he moved across Command. That had been a lot easier than she thought it would be. She at least expected some hard feelings or the cold shoulder, not a friendly hello. Like the whole thing hadn't happened. She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or concerned.

The rest of the morning left her perplexed as well. The Command crew carried out normal operations, including the friendly banter that went along with it. At first Beka thought she'd finally got a reaction out of Rhade - or lack thereof - when it seemed he'd been ignoring her. But after a few jokes had gone around he had laughingly said something to her, so she figured she'd give him that. In fact, if anything, she was the one acting strange, hardly saying anything unless she had to, or if he spoke first.

No one else seemed to notice except him, so he refrained from further conversation unless it was required. She was glad when she got a chance to get away for lunch. Upon her return she was immediately intercepted by Captain Hunt, before she had even reached her station.

"Beka, good. I've got a mission for you."

"Shoot."

He handed her a flexi. "A Vyshiian freighter carrying some trade goods to one of their colonies has been having some mechanical trouble. As a show of good faith, I've offered them the services of the Maru."

She looked over the details and gave him a amused grin. "You know, if you're gonna turn me back into a cargo runner, I might just have to charge you a fee."

Dylan shook his head, eyes laughing. "You leave in two hours, that should give Makhoiian enough time to ready the supplies."

She nodded. "Should be good."

Beka was aware throughout their little discussion that Rhade was moving up behind Dylan, but didn't think anything of it. That is, until the Captain gestured to him.

"Rhade will go with you." He started to turn away.

"What?" Beka asked, a little stunned.

Dylan looked at her deer-in-the-headlights expression, then to Rhade, and back to Beka once more. "Something wrong?"

"Not at all, Captain," Rhade answered, the picture of calm. He looked to Beka. "We should go get the Maru in order."

"Uh, right," she managed. She then promptly turned and headed out of Command, well aware that Rhade was only a few steps behind her.

-o-

She expertly piloted her ship through the vastness of space, the silence of the cockpit leaving her to her own thoughts. And those thoughts were focussed on the Nietzschean who was currently somewhere aboard, in the small space.

Once they had gotten underway, with all the shop-talk over and done with, he had mentioned something about minor repairs he'd noticed needed doing, and had been doing those for the last few hours. On the one hand she was relieved, but she also had a feeling that he had gone off not for his own benefit, but for hers, because of the cautious way she acknowledged she'd been treating him with. And that made her a little ticked off - not at him, at least not completely, but at herself.

"Did you want any coffee?"

The voice from behind her startled her out of her thoughts. She was able to avoid jumping from the chair, managing enough discipline to induce a only a sharp intake of air.

Probably heard it anyway, she grumbled to herself, turning around. Damn Nietzschean perfection…. Thankfully, he didn't show any sign that he knew he'd scared her, not that that really meant anything.

"I was just going to make some," he explained. Perfectly calm, perfectly ordinary. Damn perfection! Why wasn't he acknowledging anything? And why did she care? She should be happy he held no hard feelings. Maybe they could get back to normal, she didn't want to lose her friend over this.

"Uh, no, I'm fine."

"Okay," he turned around and started to leave.

She was still watching his back, debating about saying anything. She shouldn't, she knew she shouldn't, she should just leave it be until he said anything. But then again, that pesky Valentine curiosity reared its head….

"Telemachus."

He turned around. "Yes?"

"What's going on?" Okay, so she hadn't meant to be that direct, but it if worked….

His face feel slightly and he looked to the metal grating underfoot. When he looked back up, there was an expression of resignation plastered to his features. "I suppose you want to do this now?"

It wasn't really the reaction she'd expected, but she'd take it. It was, after all, a reaction.

"Uh…I guess so."

There was an awkward pause - clearly he was waiting for whatever she wanted to say first.

"Right. So, uh, the other night - last night - when we were…."

He finally took pity on her and interrupted. "It's alright, Beka. You can forget it. I have."

She looked a little startled, confused. "Huh?"

He gave her a small grin, and one might assume that he was entirely at ease with the conversation. But she could read him better than that. "I value your friendship, Beka. Clearly I made an error in judgement, and for that I apologize. The last thing I want to do is jeopardize that friendship."

Well, she thought, that certainly explains the happy-go-lucky Rhade today. She wasn't quite sure what to make of the rest of his words, though. So she just said, "You, uh…you didn't."

The smile on his face turned a little more genuine. "That's good to know."

There was silence for a moment, neither sure what to say. Finally Rhade decided to change the subject. "Are you sure you don't want any coffee?" he gestured absently behind him, to the back of the Maru.

Beka, a little thrown by the sudden change, shook her head. "No, I'm good."

He nodded. "Alright." With that he started walking away. Until….

"When did you know?"

He stopped abruptly, his back to her. He knew exactly what she was asking. He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Do you really want to ask that?"

It wasn't a challenge, she could tell by his tone. He just wanted to make sure she was willing to go through with it before he answered, giving her a way out.

She hesitated. Did she really want to know? It would undoubtedly make things more awkward if he said anything else on the subject, same if she did. She was also a little concerned that he hadn't turned around - it would have helped to see what his own reaction was. She sighed. Maybe it was the Valentine curiosity, or maybe it was something else, but finally she affirmed, "Yes."

He slumped his shoulders a little, his back still to her. Turning his head to his shoulder, as if to look at her but stopping before his face was in full view, he sighed. "When did I first realize? Over the last few weeks."

She nodded absently. It made sense, they'd spent a lot of time together recently. She looked up when he continued, not having realized he had more to say.

"When did I first start to care?" This time he turned his head more, so he could lock his gaze with hers. "A lot longer than that."

She had nothing to say to that. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. He waited a few seconds longer, then gave her one final, confirming nod of his head and left for the bowels of the ship. His footsteps echoed less and less as he moved further away.

Beka slumped back in her chair and stared out at the black void stretching out in front of her, tiny intermittent dots of light were the only interruption of the darkness. Maybe that hadn't been the best idea ever. She should have just left it off where he was willing to, or better yet, not have brought it up at all. He was willing to deny anything had happened, why couldn't she? She didn't reciprocate his feelings…well, certainly not his full feelings, at any rate.

If anything, she was more confused than she had been before.

To Be Continued...