Do not stare at me because I am dark,
because I am darkened by the sun
Song of Solomon 1:6

J.T

Today: Tuesday – Still first day if camp.

His hand squeezes tighter around the bulge in my pants. My hand slides on top of it to keep him from letting his fingers squeeze anymore 'cause if he does…I might come in my pants. Come on! I'm a virgin…cut me some slack. "I-I light up the entire room?" He doesn't answer at first. His mouth is too busy licking, biting and kissing my neck and throat. Oh, god, I think I might die from all this contact. And fuck – it's not even that much contact. I probably will die when he has me on my back and his dick up my ass.

If we even get that far.

"Yeah,"

His whispery voice causes goose bumps to erupt all over my skin.

"When you smile."

I'd probably feel really flattered right now if his hand wasn't over my dick and his mouth wasn't on my throat. If I wasn't so distracted. "O-oh." There I go again. I'm so stupid. I can't talk. Daphne's not going to believe it. Me, not being able to talk? That'll be the most hilarious thing she's ever heard. Suddenly I'm spun around by his hands and facing him and…I'm not sure if I want to face him because I don't want him to see how fucking nervous I suddenly feel. There are actual butterflies flying around in my stomach.

"I've wanted to kiss you,"

A hand comes to rest on the back of my neck pulling me closer to him.

"Since the first time I saw you."

Amen to that. I swallow and use the little ounce of bravery that I have to place a hand on his hip. I wonder how obvious it is that I have zero experience when it comes to this type of thing. He smiles down at me and I'm not sure if it's because he's really amused at my shyness or if it's a genuine smile. Whatever it is, I decide that there's no way I can be quiet anymore. I can't keep my mouth shut 'cause that might just…not be cool. I decide that I have to at least make an effort to voice out my thoughts on all of this…though I'm sure my cock is a huge indicator of how I feel about this…that's beside the point.

"P-please kiss me."

He doesn't waste any time in fulfilling my request. His lips meet mine in a slow tender kiss and I wonder how long this will last before we both can't take this slow speed anymore. I soon find out. As soon as his tongue wanders into my mouth my lips speed up at their own accord and his mouth quickly follows, kissing me like he's trying to swallow me whole. Hot, fiery, needy and hungry. His hands grip tightly to my hips and pull me up against him, hard cock against hard cock, and I groan in to his mouth. He tastes so fucking good. Better then I had thought he would taste. Sure, I thought he would taste good but he tastes…god.

He tastes strongly of chocolate and peppermint.

Those two flavors are now my two favorite flavors in the world.

I press my hands gently on his chest because I'm not sure if he's hurt there too and, for a few seconds, anger flares inside of me and it must've transferred into my kissing method 'cause he pulls away, eyebrow raised. I don't say anything. I'm breathing too hard to say anything and he doesn't talk either. He's breathing just as hard as I am and I'm surprised that neither of us has pulled away for air sooner. I bet I could kiss him for the rest of my life without having to pull away for a breather. His hands land on my shoulders and he pushes me downwards until I'm sitting on the edge of the bed.

I don't want to sit down.

I want to kiss him but I don't say that. I do what he wants.

And if that means sitting down…then so be it.

Then he's kneeling down in front of me and pulling off my shoes and socks and I think I might die because he's undressing me. Ok, that would be a stupid thing to die over but…no one's ever undressed me before. Except my mom and that was when I was, like, three. Then he stands up after throwing my shoes and socks somewhere on the floor. I watch, completely entranced, as his fingers grab the ends of his shirt and pull it off and then throw it to the floor carelessly. If I had been angry about his arm before then…I was beyond pissed now. I was so fucking angry I felt like catching a taxi, finding Mr. Kinney, and killing him.

Brian was beautiful.

Probably the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on. Even the bruises, some looked fresh and a lot looked old, scratches, and other wounds didn't change that. My anger and concern must've shown on my face because a second later: "I'm alright." I furiously shake my head. "You're hurt." He opens his mouth to protest and, I realize, this is probably killing the entire mood and making me angry…him arguing with me. So, I do the only thing I can think of to do. I stand up, grab him by the hips, and latch my lips onto a bruise near his collarbone. I don't know how I couldn't have seen it before.

Or how I missed the almost-faded bruises on his arms.

They seemed to be protruding into sight now.

I move to the next nearest wound, press open-mouthed kisses along his skin and I don't intend to stop until every single hurt has been nurtured. Cared for. By my mouth and tongue. And what I'm doing must be acceptable because his hands, which are clenching in my hair, press my mouth harder against his skin and he's gasping and mumbling incoherent things above my head. I can hear, every few seconds, my name being said but, other than that, I have no idea what else he's saying. When I'm on my knees, my tongue not able to resist from dipping into his belly button a few times, I come across a newer, bigger, scratch. It looked to have gone deep too and my already boiling blood boils exceptionally hot now.

I kiss along it a few times, tongue following and his hands curl tighter in my hair.

"Jus-tin."

Small, unsure frown on my face, I pull back.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No…feels good."

Tell me about it. I don't know how long I've been administering my caring lip action to his skin but I'm surprised it hasn't made one of us (me) come in my pants yet. I'm not sure how we've (I've) lasted this long. It's been, at least, twenty minutes since I started up at his collarbone. In another second I'm pulled up gently to my feet and his lips are pressed hard against mine. He pulls away, his breath flying across my face as his forehead leans against mine. His hands reach up and cup my face in his hands. His strong, beautiful hands that I've been obsessed with since the first time I saw them. "Thank you." I know what he's talking about. I don't ask him for what. I only smile at him, feeling a lot less shy around him then I've ever felt before. Then he's pulling my shirt above my head and I have a feeling that, when he goes for my pants, I'm goin' to be blushing like a little school girl all over again. Oh well. I'm proud of myself for not blushing at the moment.

"You're so hot."

Ok, maybe I'll blush now and he hasn't even touched my pants yet. He just calls me hot and I get all pink-cheeked. To act like I'm not blushing like a fucking retard: "Y-you are too." Then I ruin it with the whole 'stuttering at the beginning of my statement' thing. Oh well. He chuckles, clearly amused and presses a quick kiss against my lips, hands running over my shoulders, down my back and then back around to my chest and stomach. I wonder what he thinks when my skin quivers voluntarily under his fingers. God…his beautiful fingers. I'm in fucking love with his hands.

Then his hands unbutton my pants.

Surprisingly, my cheeks don't get any hotter than they are now. I don't know how he does it but I do know that my pants and boxers are off in about…let's say…five fucking seconds. I don't know what to do except stand there. Oh, and feel extremely self-conscious. I've never been naked in front of a guy before. I've been naked in front of Daphne before but she's a girl and that was just once, and I guess I've been naked in front of my mom before but…again…when I was, like, three and really young. That's it. And here I am: stark naked in front of the hottest guy on the earth.

"You're so fucking hot."

I grin. Probably happier then I meant. Happy that he doesn't think I'm an ugly ass freak that needs to go work out. I'm not muscular. I'm definitely not tan. I don't work out but I don't have an ounce of flab on my body. Thank God. And, I guess I'm fucking hot. It must be true if Brian's telling me so because…he is God. My god anyway. My eyes fly downwards as he undoes his own jeans. I watch, once again immersed in the grace that is Brian 'really fucking hot' Kinney. Then his jeans are off with nothing else underneath. NOTHING. Oh fuck. And I didn't think it was even possible to get any harder than I already am.

I don't have too long to focus on just how hard I am since his body's suddenly pressed flush against mine, his lips are eating mine again, and his hips are grinding. His cock is rubbing against mine and the friction is too fucking much. How am I not coming yet? I try not to grip his arms too tightly 'cause I don't want to hurt him anymore than he already is and I move my hands to his grip his back but then I remember that I haven't even gotten a look at his back yet to make sure it's ok to touch there. So I settle with digging my hands up in his hair. It's safe there. At least I hope so. It must be ok because he doesn't pull away when my hands grip so tight into his hair that I think I may pull some out when his hand wanders down between us, fingers curling around my turgid cock.

Four pumps of his hand later it's starting to be too much.

"Bri-Brian…stop…"

"Come for me, Justin…come…now."

I bite my lip. I don't want to come yet. It's too fucking soon. But I have no choice in the matter. Three pumps and his thump pressing against my slit later, I'm spilling into his hand with a loud, "Brian, fuck!" I wrap my arms around his neck and the arm wrapped around my sweating and lightly shaking body holds me up. His hand releases my cock and it looks so fucking hot covered in my come. The sight awakens my dick and it gets ready for another round. When Brian sucks one of his fingers into his mouth and then another, my cock is ready for another round. Right now. His two fingers slide out and his tongue slides out of his mouth too and I quickly wrap my lips around it, sucking my taste and sticky come off of it. All this come swapping makes me moan, mouth vibrating around his tasteful tongue. His tongue quickly pulls out of my mouth and is replaced with his middle finger and I obediently clean it off and then another finger…and another. I'm hard as a rock and Brian better do something about it soon. As if reading my mind, I'm suddenly being shoved backwards and onto my bed. Him on top of me.

Did I remember to lock the cabin door?

Wait – can you lock it? Yes, yes you can.

"L-Lock door."

"Good idea."

I hate him for being able to talk without stuttering. I feel slightly…abandoned as his body leaves mine and walks over to the screen door. I hope I don't moan too loud or we'll definitely be caught. Good thing the camp leader's cabins are all the way on the opposite side of the row of cabins than ours. I'm suddenly even more proud of myself for getting the cabin the furthest away from everything. I hear a slam and the little light that had been seeping through the screen disappears. So…there is another door and not just a screen door. I hadn't been paying much attention this afternoon. Brian makes a sound of triumph. But he doesn't stop there. He goes as far to shove a huge suitcase in front of the door.

Then he's back and paying attention to me, his body lying over mine and swapping spit with me again. Making out and grinding against each other like the two horny teenagers that we are. I can't take this anymore, his fingers and dick teasing my dick. He's doing it on purpose, smirk on his face. I arch underneath him, thrusting more forcefully showing him just how much I want him to speed this 'Fucking Taylor's Virginity Away at Church Camp' mission up. I don't want to come again until he's up my ass. I don't care how much I want to come right now. I don't care that I'm so hard that it hurts. I need Brian in me now.

He grins down at me.

"Fuck me, please."

"So polite."

"I won't be polite if you don't fuck me now."

He chuckles, hands gripping my hips and holding them tight to the bed to keep me from moving against him. I groan and bang my head against the pillow impatiently. At least I'm not stuttering…or blushing anymore. Maybe him fucking me will solve both of those problems. "You're already a bossy bottom." I roll my eyes but smile, struggling to pick my hips up off the bed and rub against him. I need to touch him. But his hands won't allow it. He's stronger than I thought. I settle for gently grabbing his wrists instead and pleading him with my eyes to fuck me. It has the desired affect. A few milliseconds later he's reaching down to the floor for his pants and pulling out a condom and a small bottle of lube.

It's nice to know he has those on hand.

Who knows when he'll need them?

I watch as he puts the condom on and swallow. This is it. This is the day that I'm no longer little innocent me. Little innocent me who's never done anything between the sheets. And I'm losing all of this to God. He smiles down at me; sweet, tender and encouragingly. I've never seen more of a beautiful smile than that. His fingers are in and out of my ass with a blur of colors behind my eyes and I watch as the lube is slicked over his condom-covered cock. He places my legs on his shoulders and he hovers over me. I link my fingers with his and he doesn't seem to mind. "Just…go slow…" He kisses me long and slow and it sucks the nervousness out of my body and then he's pushing in. I grip tightly onto his hands and he stops. Oh, god it hurts.

"Justin – Justin,"

I open my eyes and look up at him.

"Relax. C'mon, Sunshine, let me in."

I let out a long, heavy breath and do what he says. Relaxrelaxrelaxrelax. He smiles down at me and moves forward again, slow like I asked. I moan and I don't know if it's in pain or pleasure. I don't know what the hell I'm feeling right now. I quickly wonder if I'm cutting off the blood circulation to his hands…and I quickly let go of them, grab the sheets instead and hold them in a death grip. My head flies back against the pillows as he eases more and more and then stops. Everything is still and quiet except for my gasping and his heavy breathing. "God, you're so tight."

"G-go."

He listens and goes. He starts off slowly and I wonder if this is killing him – going so slow for me. As the pain subsides I raise my hips up to meet his until we establish a rhythm. From then on, nothing's slow. He's thrusting hard into me, angling himself just right every now and then to make me a muttering, shaking mess beneath him. I force his lips against mine and I try my best not to grip into his shoulders too hard and my legs somehow fall down around his waist and I hope I'm not gripping him too hard. "Oh, Bri-an, fas-faster." I don't even know if he can go any faster than he already is. But, somehow and I'm amazed, he does. He's moving so fucking fast that I can't even think.

Everything's just a…blob.

Now he's angling himself so he hits there every single time. "God, fuck!" I really hope I'm not screaming too loud. Brian covers my mouth with his and I guess I am being loud…or maybe he just really wants to kiss me. His hips pump harder and I don't think his dick can get up my ass anymore than it already is and I'm shaking so bad I think I'm having a seizure. I lock my legs tighter around him, his teeth bite hard into my shoulder and I'm coming ("Bri-Brian!") between our stomachs. A second later Brian's spent and his hot, sweaty body is resting fully on top of mine.

I almost protest when he pulls out of me. I don't want him to pull out of me. He should stay there. He belongs there. He doesn't get off of me though, for which I'm glad. I wrap my arms around him, fingers unconsciously trailing up and down his spine and my face buried into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. When he finally does pick up part of his body off of mine, leaning on his elbows, my arms tense around him to keep him from going anywhere and he grins at me, kissing me again but only for a few seconds.

"I can't sleep here."

I know.

"Why?"

His fingers start to play with my hair.

"We'll get caught."

I know.

"So?"

I'm being totally illogical, of course. If we get caught…I don't want to even think about the consequences.

"Marcus will get jealous."

I glare at him.

"Gross!"

Brian laughs at me and rolls off of me in the process. He slowly walks towards the door and I think he does it on purpose just so I can get a chance to stare at his ass longer. He makes a show of pulling the suitcase away from the door and putting it back where he got it in the first place. He walks back towards me when he's done, picks me up off the bed and pulls me clumsily against him and kisses me long, hard and then pushes me roughly back on the bed again. Horny all over again. "Goodnight, Sunshine."

"Goodnight."

I know I sound pitiful and strongly disappointed by the fact that he couldn't have stayed put and let us take a risk and maybe get caught. He laughs at me again and slips under the covers of his own bed. He falls asleep long before I do because I can't stop looking at him.