'This is how you can show your love to me.'
Genesis 20:13
B.K
"Did you mean what you said – about me fucking you…if that's what it took?"
Damndamndamn. I should have never said that. What had I been thinking? I hadn't been thinking – Fuckfuckfuck. I can't say no to him though. My mouth won't let myself. My brain won't let my fucking self reject him for some really fucking stupid reason. My stupid brain is actually telling me I want him to do this. I can't want this. I'm a top – I've always been a top. No questions asked. I've always been a top who has never asked someone to top me. He must notice my expression – God, I hope I don't look scared at the prospect of him topping me! – and he shakes his head.
"Never mind, I don't need to do,"
I cut him off by kissing him because, fuck, I'm going to let him top me for some extremely retarded reason. I want this or I never would've offered it to him in the first place. I pull back, heart beating probably faster and harder than it ever has before, and cup his face with my hands. His bodies practically on top of me now, noses almost touching, and he's looking at me with this concerned little look of 'are you sure' and I kiss him once more. Maybe to reassure him that he's going to fuck me, dammit.
"Do you want to?"
He takes a minute to answer me.
"If you don't,"
"I asked you if you wanted to. Answer me."
"Yes, but,"
"You'll be careful? Go slow?"
He swallows and tries to pull away from me but I don't let him.
"Yes, Brian, But I,"
"Justin, just…be quiet."
His mouth clamps shut and he just stares at me, unsure look across his face. Probably because of my hesitance. Well, of course I'm going to be hesitant! I don't even know why I want this. I've never wanted (needed- this feeling is more like need I think) anyone to fuck me. I don't know why I feel this fucking way and I'm confused as to why I don't find myself hating the particular feeling. I slide a hand up into his hair and press out lips together again trying to reassure him that all of this is ok. Fine with me – even though I'm fucking confused.
"I want you to, Sunshine."
"Are-are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure…"
He looks away for a moment, tongue coming out to dart across his swollen lips nervously.
"I-I don't know…what to do, though. I don't want to hurt you; I don't have any exper,"
I cut him off, shaking him lightly to get him to look back at me.
"Shh – you won't hurt me, I promise."
"How do you know?"
I wonder if we're even talking about fucking anymore.
"Because I know."
Plus – I'm usually the one doing the hurting here.
Justin leans in close again, lips brushing just slightly, and he pulls away, arms wrapping around my neck and his body draping over mine. He meets my eyes and he tells me that he'll do his best not to hurt me – and, just from the look in his eyes, I know we're not talking about him fucking me anymore. We're talking about "us". I don't know how I let us become an "us" but, confusing myself even more, I don't find myself disliking the feeling of "us." I swallow and capture his lips in mine but he pulls away and slowly gets off of me, grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the bed.
I stand there in the darkness and watch him as he watches his fingers slowly undo the buttons down my shirt, eyes fixated on them with all concentration in the dark. He gets to the last one and shoves my shirt off of my shoulders, eyes meeting mine for a few seconds before bowing his head again and going for the button on my jeans. It might be a trick of the light – Then I realize there is no light so my theory is fucked – but I think his hands are shaking. Actually shaking as he pulls down my jeans. I step out of them and kick them away and he leaves me by myself for a few seconds to walk towards the door, make sure it's locked, and place something heavy in front of it before anything continues.
When he's back his eyes inspect me.
"You're healing."
I look down at my self. At the bruises and scratches and realize that he's right. I look up, meet his eyes, and offer him a smile. A real genuine smile.
"Thanks to you."
He grins and stands on his tiptoes to reach my lips with his in a rough, passionate kiss until neither of us can breathe. His mouth leaves mine and travels down my neck, across my chest, he takes the time to take each hard nipple into his mouth for the desired amount of time and I'm sure I moaned a couple million times. He probably got an ass load of satisfaction in that. His lips left them, cold air consuming them now instead of his hot mouth, and he lowers himself steadily to his knees, tongue dipping into my belly button on the way. I think he has an infatuation with it. A belly button fetish. Hey, I can live with that.
I reach down and burrow my hands into his hair, head falling back as he kisses my thighs, being extremely careful to not so much as brush against my erect cock or full balls. When he stops kissing me, I look down to see his eyes looking up at me, hesitation in his voice when he speaks.
"Can I,"
"Yes, yeah, Sunshine."
He grins at my eagerness and next I feel his warm, wet tongue brushing along the underside of my cock, brushing against my slit, and then pulling back. I groan in frustration. I want more. I need more. Now. And he knows it too. He blows warm air out of his mouth and onto my cock and I clench my hands tighter in his hair and try to draw his mouth to my dick. It doesn't work. He's a stubborn ass sometimes. His hands each grab my hips and hold me steady and he finally, FINALLY, takes the head of my cock into his mouth, inching forward and taking more of me, tongue pushing hard against my piss hole, a hand coming down to roll my balls around in his palm.
And I can't believe he's never given head before.
Fucking natural.
His hand, sadly, abandons my balls and latches onto my hip again and, oh fucking fuck, he swallows. Are you even allowed to do that your first time giving head?
"Oh, fuck, Justin!"
His throat tightens and, if I'm lucky, I won't come right now.
As if reading my thoughts he quickly releases my dick and lets his fall from his mouth. He's quickly back up on his feet, arms wrapping around my neck, and his mouth slamming against mine. When he pulls back he shoots me an unsure look.
"H-how was…it?"
How can he even ask that? Is he being serious? His innocence is almost too much to handle.
"It was great. Really fucking excellent. Are you sure you've never sucked cock before?"
He grins, look of satisfaction on his face.
"Maybe in another life."
"Do you even believe in that?"
He grins.
"No."
"Thought so."
I decide that he has way too many clothes on. He has all his clothes on for fucks sake and I quickly lift his shirt up over his head and throw it on the floor next to my abandoned clothes. Next his pants are off and we're finally both naked instead of just me – not that I mind being naked. I draw him against me, our skin flush against each other, and devour his mouth, tongues mating and breaths becoming familiar with each other for the millionth time tonight. He pulls back, hands curling into my hair, and his lips dark and swollen. He seems too beautiful to be allowed to exist. Enough with thoughts like that though I doubt they'll stop.
"My bed or your bed?"
"I don't care."
He nods and pushes me back down onto my bed. I don't think we've even fucked in my bed yet. Only his and on the pew in church. He sits between my legs with a small smile on his face. "Are you sure," I quickly interrupt him and tell him that I'm fucking sure and that I'm also fucking horny so get on with it. He laughs, more like giggles, and positions his body over mine so he can brush our lips together. Then he's reaching over the side of the bed and grabbing my pants to retrieve the bottle of lube and a condom. I think his hands are shaking again but I'm not going to point it out.
"C-can you put it on me?"
"Of course, Sunshine."
I take the condom out of his hands and roll it onto his dick in a matter of seconds and then resume to resting on my back, watching as he pops open the bottle of lube, his face suddenly all nervousness. Biting his bottom lip, he spreads my bent legs apart slightly and then warms the lube before making any contact with my ass. Good boy. He meets my eyes with that huge look of nervousness and I tell him to go on. That we don't have all night. He smiles slightly and nods, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows hard. He places a hand on one of my legs and a finger meets my hole and slides slowly inside. He stops when I tense.
"Are you ok, Brian?"
I draw in a deep breath, eyes shut, and the two of us are silent as I tell my body to relax. Eventually, it does and I nod my head and tell him to keep going. He doesn't say a word and his finger slides inside, through the rings of tight muscle, and I'm not sure whether it hurts or if it doesn't at the moment. I swallow. "Another finger, Justin." He does as asked, another digit slipping inside, slowly and carefully. And patiently. I stop him a couple of times and I don't know how one can have so much patience. Then I remember that this is Justin. He'd probably wait for eternity for me to be ready for him.
"Another…"
A third finger slips through my hole, gaining access easier then the first two, and it joins the others and he stills. I feel him kiss my knee since he can't reach my mouth at the moment and he tells me to breathe since I'm breathing so fucking hard. I don't think my heart has ever beaten this hard before. "Scissor your fingers, Justin." A moment later he does as I told him to do and I'm a moaning mess. Holy fuck. That felt good. "Take 'em out, Jus." His fingers slowly slide out of me and he's positioning his body over mine. His lips devour mind for a few seconds and I feel the blunt head of his cock meet my hole.
"Are you ready?"
I nod, grip his arms with my hands, and he slowly inches forward, head of his cock sliding inside and then stopping. Fucking oww. He looks down at me worriedly and I work up a smile for him. I don't like seeing him worried like that. "Go, Justin." He bites his lip and, "Are you sure?" I quickly nod and try not to hurt him by wrapping my legs too tightly around his slim waist as he inches forward again.
J.T
Ohmygod. Ohmygodohymygod.
Is this really happening? Yes, yes it is. I nearly come as his tight ass muscles squeeze tight around my cock. So, this is what it feels like. I meet his lips with mine and moan into his mouth to keep it quieter than it would have been if I had let it out in the open. I'm sure no one would be able to hear us but I like to be careful. Gasping for breath, I move forward again and don't stop this time until I'm buried deep inside of him all the way. Then I stop, both our bodies shaking. He roughly grabs my lips with his and I don't move until he peels his lips away from mine and tells me to go. Slow.
I ease almost all the way out and ease forward again, moans sliding out of the brunet's mouth as I do so. I do it again, at the same slow sweet pace. Again and again, angling my hips like he has in the past to hit against his prostate. It must have worked because he's yells out my name and I quickly cover his mouth with mine to drown the sounds of ecstasy. His hands grip tightly into my hair, slide down my back and grab hold of my ass and as I move out and in again he pushes hard on my ass and shoves me inside of him harder. I take this as a sign to move faster and I do, the nervousness of hurting him filtering out of my mind and the two of us establishing a medium paced rhythm.
I grab his cock between our stomachs and begin pumping, matching the snapping of our hips as I dig myself deeper inside of him each time. I squeeze, finger pressing hard against his piss hole, and angle my hips that way again and he's squeezing around my cock harder than ever making me come inside the condom. He's not far behind and I collapse heavily on top of his come covered stomach and rest my head just under his chin as I pull out of him and throw the condom somewhere on the floor. I don't get up because, like each time he fucks me, I don't want to. Maybe, someday, I'll actually be able to stay by his side through the night. I lift my head and look down at his face, his eyes are closed and his breathing is slowly going back to normal.
"Are you ok?"
"I'm fabulous, Sunshine."
"Did I,"
"No, you didn't hurt me."
"Brian?"
"Yeah?"
"If…if I tell you that I love you will you promise to not avoid me tomorrow?"
He's silent for a moment, just looking at me with an unreadable expression. Then he nods.
"I promise."
"I know I love you."
Instead of "I think I love you" like last time. Because this time – I'm sure.