Dozens of Shipwreck Clones took off with the disclaimer telling you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. Here's another little outtake from Evolution XMJ based on the chapter 'Attack of the Shipwreck Clones'. Enjoy.
Get Your Mojo On
"What are you guys doing here now?" Scott sighed as the Misfits entered the dining room. The X-Men were eating their dinner.
"Besides stealing our food," Kurt sighed as Todd downed a dinner roll with his tongue. "Again!"
"Did you get a copy of this?" Althea held up a tape.
"What is it?" Jean asked as Logan looked at it.
"When Shipwreck Clones Attack the Enemies of the X-Men and Misfits," Logan read aloud. "Volume One."
"Volume One?" Scott blinked. "You mean there's more than one of these?"
"With all the guys that hate us there could be a whole series," Todd told him.
"Mojo sent it to us," Lance told them.
"No really?" Scott said sarcastically. "I thought maybe Nathan Lane produced it."
"Oh we gotta watch this," Rogue grinned. She grabbed her plate. "Come on, let's watch it in the Rec. Room!"
"What about dinner?" Ororo asked.
"We can eat while we watch," Tabitha said.
"No we are not," Ororo said. "We are all eating dinner at the table. We can watch the video after we eat."
"Great! I'm starving!" Shipwreck grabbed a chair and sat next to Ororo. "Hey! We can share a plate!"
"On the other hand," Ororo stood up rapidly, knocking Shipwreck over. "I suppose if we do this just once it couldn't hurt."
"Yeah," Bobby agreed. "It'd be nice to see somebody else besides us get it for once!"
Soon everyone was in the living room and were watching the tape. "Looks like Magneto is the first victim," Logan chuckled as what was going on the screen. "What a surprise."
"GET OUT OF MY SECRET BASE YOU FREAKS!" Magneto was tossing everything metal in sight at the Shipwreck clones who were wreaking havoc on his base. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE OR HOW YOU GOT HERE BUT YOU ARE LEAVING IN PIECES!"
"Ooh! I wonder what this does?" One Shipwreck clone was pushing several buttons.
BOOM!
"Ooh, that'll leave a mark," Fred winced. "Not to mention a huge repair bill."
"COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPARE CAPE AND HELMET YOU MANIAC!" Magneto was chasing one Shipwreck Clone that had stolen it.
"I am Mag-not-so-really-neato!" The clone changed. "I would like to eat a burrito! It really makes me repeat-o!"
"YOU ARE GOING TO EAT IRON YOU LITTLE…." Magneto flattened him by dropping a very heavy weight on him.
The Shipwreck Clone merely scooted out of the predicament, looking like an accordion. "Ow…Good thing I'm not real or that'd really hurt!"
BOOM!
"That machine looked expensive," Kurt remarked.
BOOM!
"And so did that one," Sam added. "And that one over there…"
"Oh dear," Xavier sighed. "Erik will definitely be difficult to reason with the next time our paths cross."
"And how is that different from every other time we run into him?" Logan asked. "And look what they're doing to his cronies!"
"HELP ME!" Cortez ran by screaming. His pants were on fire. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
"JUST STOP, DROP AND ROLL YOU IDIOT!" Polaris snapped as she tried to throw off the Shipwreck that was hugging her. "Now if only that would work with this one!"
"GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE…" Sabertooth was covered by dozens of them.
"Here kitty! Kitty!" They chanted.
"I like to sing and dance! I like to sing and dance! I like to wear ruby slippers and some tight shiny pants!" Pyro was singing and dancing with a chorus line of Shipwreck clones.
"Why am I not surprised that Pyro is enjoying this?" Lance groaned.
"GET THEM AWAY FROM US!" Mender and Amelia Voight screamed as dozens of Shipwrecks chased after them.
"HUBBA HUBBA!" They wolf whistled as they ran after them.
"There they go…" Wanda remarked. "Figures they'd do that."
"At least someone else knows my pain," Ororo sighed. "And knows exactly what a pain Shipwreck is!"
"Hey!" Shipwreck defended. "I resemble that remark."
"And now let's see what's goes on when the Shipwrecks invade a typical FOH meeting…" Mojo's voice could be heard over a scene of an FOH building. One little Shipwreck teetered out with some dynamite and laughed.
BOOOOOOOOMMMMM!
"Oooh! Look at how fast that building burned up," Todd's eyes went wide.
"Please note, despite our best intentions no FOH were killed during the making of this video," Mojo spoke.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" One FOH member ran by on fire.
"But we did send quite a few of them to the burn unit!" Mojo said cheerfully.
"This is really going to set back mutant/human relations for another thirty years," Hank sighed.
"I'm shocked," Rogue blinked. "Why didn't they show Duncan Matthews on fire?"
"If you're a regular viewer you're probably wondering where is Duncan Matthews and why isn't he on fire?" Mojo appeared on screen. "Well we've got one better! Roll the clip, Clyde!"
The gang watched the video. "Okay how did they get a cannon in that restaurant?" Remy asked.
"More importantly how are they going to stuff Duncan in it?" Arcade asked.
"PUT ME DOWN!" Duncan screamed as he was carried by a dozen Shipwrecks wearing chef uniforms.
"Oh that's how," Arcade said matter of factly.
BOOOOOOMM!
"Wow look how far he went," Kurt gasped.
"Right through the window of the aquarium," Kitty said. "And into the tank of the electric eels."
ZZZZZAAAAPPP!
"AAAAHHH MOMMY!" Duncan screamed.
"I don't care if he isn't the most tolerant of individuals," Hank frowned. "This is cruel, uncharacteristic, pointless torture!"
Todd looked at him. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
"There's more of this folks in our second volume: Shipwreck Clones Go Wild on Duncan Matthews!" Mojo appeared. "Call now to get this two disc collectors set which includes interviews with the cast, our blooper reel, The Let's Set Duncan Matthews on Fire Computer Game and links to our When Shipwreck Clones Attack website! Call 1-800-GIVE ME MONEY! Yes I know there are extra numbers folks but remember you are calling out of dimension. The first fifteen hundred callers will get this hilarious T-shirt."
He showed a picture of a cartoon Duncan being kicked in the behind by a happy Shipwreck Clone. "Note the quality stitching folks! You can really feel the pain of this creep getting kicked in the butt!" Mojo said cheerfully.
"You know Jean…" Scott hesitated. "My birthday's coming up pretty soon."
"Already on it Scott," Jean was punching numbers into a phone.
"PUT THAT PHONE DOWN!" Ororo snapped. "The last thing we need to do is give that maniac money!"
"As well as more encouragement," Xavier agreed.
"Speaking of FOH Members," Mojo spoke again. "Let's see what's going on with their leader who is currently 'resting' at a mental health facility."
"WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!" Several Shipwreck Clones in doctor's uniforms were shown running amok. Some were riding on wheelchairs with frightened nurses. Others had needles and were advancing on Creed.
"NOOOOOOO!" Graydon Creed screamed as he struggled to climb the wall. A very impressive feat considering that he was wearing a straightjacket at the time.
"You know, this really isn't a bad program," Fred remarked.
"I'm certainly enjoying myself!" Rogue chuckled.
"Since we're on the subject of people being locked up…" Mojo began. "I call this segment: Shipwrecks Behind Bars!"
"WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!" The Shipwreck clones were dressed up like prison guards. They were clobbering each other as well as prisoners with nightsticks and banana cream pies.
"GET BACK YOU DEVILS!" Stryker screamed as he tried to make the sign of the cross with two pencils.
SPLAT! SPLAT! Several pies hit Stryker in the face.
"PRYDE SENT YOU DIDN'T SHE?" Stryker shouted. "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT WITCH…"
"Just what I need," Kitty rolled her eyes. "Another reason for Stryker to hate me!"
"WHO FILLED UP THE TERROR DOME WITH CHOCOLATE PUDDING?" Cobra Commander was seen next. He was up to his helmet in pudding.
"Sailing, sailing…" Several Shipwreck Clones were sailing on the pudding in a little sailboat.
"I really hate that sailor…" Destro grumbled. "And my boots are filled with pudding."
"WILL YOU IDIOTS STOP HAVING A PUDDING FIGHT?" Zartan was screaming at his Dreadnoks. Someone hit him in the face with a glob of pudding. "THAT'S IT! I'M DOCKING YOUR PAY!"
"Chocolate Pudding Bombs are so versatile!" Mojo grinned. "They cause mayhem wherever they are set off! Whether it's Cobra Bases, school cafeterias…"
"Is that Bayville High?" Paige pointed at the screen. Chocolate pudding was oozing out of all the windows.
"Yep," Sam told his sister.
"Dorm rooms," Mojo continued. "Teacher's lounges…"
"ALL RIGHT WHO DID THIS?" Emma Frost screamed at her Hellions. They were all covered in chocolate pudding.
"THEY DID!" Evan pointed to several Shipwreck Clones laughing and scampering away. "THE MISFITS MUST HAVE SENT THEM! GET 'EM!"
"Mayor's offices…" Mojo said. A shot of Mayor Chandlers' office was seen. "Apartment buildings…"
"MY APARTMENT!" Ms. March screamed as chocolate pudding oozed everywhere.
"We haven't seen her in a while," Todd mentioned.
"Could have gone longer without seeing her," Rogue grumbled. "Or that!"
"AGGGGHHHHH!" Newspeople Tawny Dawson and Hector Rameriez could be seen riding a huge wave of chocolate pudding out of a hotel room. Both of them were in obvious states of undress.
"I really didn't need to see that!" Cover Girl groaned.
"Hotel rooms, Offices…" Mojo continued.
"MY OFFICE!" Henry Gyrich screamed as he opened his door and a wave of chocolate pudding came out.
"Not to mention genetic labs," Mojo grinned.
"MY LAB!" Sinister screamed. "MY PRECIOUS LAB! THAT'S IT! I AM GOING TO DISSECT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WHEN I GET MY HANDS UNGLUED!" He pulled at his hands that were somehow glued to a table.
"Boy that Mojo sure don't play favorites does he?" Sam asked.
"He's hitting all of our enemies," Ray agreed. "And I do mean all of them!"
"Come back here you little pipsqueaks!" The Juggernaut was chasing several Shipwreck Clones. He was covered in Banana Cream Pie.
"My half brother and I are never going to resolve our differences," Xavier groaned.
"To be fair I think he made it clear the times he showed up and tried to kill you that you weren't," Jean pointed out.
A shot of Shipwreck clones tormenting familiar looking wolves could be seen. "RIDE 'EM DOGGIES!" One Shipwreck clone whooped as he rode one of the wolves.
"Is that one Aiden?" Jubilee blinked.
"No…" Rahne told her. She pointed to a wolf with his tail on fire. "That one is."
"I'm surprised Trask isn't on this," Logan folded his arms.
"He is," Angelica pointed to the screen.
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKS!" Trask was running from a huge armored vehicle with several painful looking mallets and picks driven by Shipwreck clones.
"WOCKA! WOCKA! WOCKA!" They chanted as they chased him.
"AAHHHH!" Trask ran around a corner to evade them. Then he ran back. A giant mechanical Shipwreck clone was chasing him.
"Destroy…Maim…Do bad things…." The robot sputtered.
"This is insane," Hank's jaw dropped.
"This is good," Logan grunted. "Let him learn what it's like to be on the receiving end of a death machine for a change!"
"We gotta show this to Larry," Todd grinned. "He'd get a real kick out of this!"
"Scrubby bubbles!" Several Shipwreck clones were singing in a tub.
"GET OUT! GET OUT!" Selene was wearing only a towel and carrying a very large axe as she chased them.
"To see more of this clip as well as a few other outtakes," Mojo popped up. "Call now to get the third volume in our series: When Shipwreck Clones Attack! Triple XXX! See the fun they cause in a strip club! The French Riviera! The Playboy Mansion! Emma Frost's underwear drawer! Not suitable for children under 18. Yeah like that's gonna stop them!"
"Beast get your hand off that phone right now," Ororo said without even looking at him.
"I just wanted to see what the French Riviera looked like," Hank grumbled as he put down the phone.
"Yeah right!" Rogue snapped.
"I'll lend you my copy pal," Shipwreck told Hank.
"Not if I burn it first," Althea told him.
"Don't forget to order Volume Four," Mojo showed a clip. "Shipwreck Clones Overseas! See what fun and madness they bring to the world."
"Mostly madness," Ororo groaned. "I can't believe this!"
"Neither can I!" Shipwreck said. "I should at least get a cut of the profits!"
"You're gonna get cut all right!" Althea glared at her father. She looked at the screen again. "Oh no…"
"YOU WILL ALL SUFFER FOR THIS!" Dr. Doom shouted as he chased several Shipwreck Clones around his castle. There was toilet paper everywhere.
"This is the second time we've been indirectly responsible for Dr. Doom's castle being TP'd," Angelica groaned.
"Do I want to know about the first?" Scott looked at her.
"Not really," Angelica shook her head.
"Even in outer space no one is safe!" Mojo laughed.
"HOW DARE YOU DESECRATE MY THRONE ROOM!" A strange looking black haired alien in a silver uniform chased the Shipwrecks around. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BROWN LIQUID LIKE MATERIAL?"
The alien stopped. "Although I must admit it smells good…WHAT AM I SAYING? FINISH THEM!" He screamed. "GUARDIAN WHERE ARE YOU FOOL! HELP ME!"
"Okay, who's this guy?" Bobby blinked.
"I dunno," Logan said. "But something tells me we're gonna see him in the future and he ain't gonna be happy."
"Wonderful," Pietro quipped. "Just what we need. A new enemy to be ticked off at us!"
"And here's the Kingpin with his new workout regimen," Mojo quipped as it showed the Kingpin chasing after a Shipwreck Clone that had a cookie jar in his hands. "Body by Shipwreck!"
"It just gets weirder and weirder," Kitty shook her head. "And weirder."
"And they saved the best for last," Scott pointed to the screen. There were dozens of Shipwreck clones running wild and trashing Senator Kelly's office.
"What? You think this scares me?" Kelly shouted. "I've been freaked out by experts! You don't scare me!"
The Shipwreck Clones quickly ran off. "That's it! Run and hide!" Kelly laughed as he picked up some books and threw them. The Shipwreck Clones teleported away. "YEAH! YEAH!" He danced around.
"I told you he was acting weirder than usual," His aide told two men in white coats as he opened the door. "Have you been hitting the sauce again Senator?"
"Oh I'm just loving this!" Lance laughed.
"I'm telling you my office was trashed by tiny mutant sailors!" Kelly shouted as he was dragged away by some men in white coats. "I AM NOT DRUNK!"
"That's what they all say when they get dragged to rehab," One of the men said.
"You know I never was much of a fan of reality television," Xavier smirked. "Until now."