Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or anythin' that goes with it- although sometimes I wish I did. But,as far as I know, I own the suicide knife.
Author's note:I got this idea from reading a poem off this here webpage(actually,I had this planned a long time ago-the poem gave me motivation.Yeah.Thats it.) So thanks to whomever did that. It was a great poem!
Oh! and one more thing-the title is inspired by an Erasure song! It's a line from their Spiralling song. Yes,thats my secret. I listen to Erasure while I write. I'll be comin' back for mooooooooore!(Get it?)
Pairings:I (at least I try) don't do them! So if its dirty boy lovin' you want, go read a YAOI story with a high-ass rating!
You Give Me the Courage to Die-Chapter 3
Yuki needed a few minutes to think, but he was stuck in a rut. He wanted to leave his living room, wanted to leave the lover's suicide scene. But he didn't want to leave Shuichi, didn't want to leave the man who saved him. So the novelist sat there, putting Shuichi in his lap. He had cut and stabbed himself in almost every obvious spot he could find. A slice to the throat. Both wrists slit. A huge deep gash from the navel up to the chest. Somehow he even made himself cough up blood. Still the idiot. Yuki thought all these things. He couldn't even kill…Yuki felt a lump form in his throat. He couldn't even kill himself painlessly. Or at least quickly.
Eiri felt a twinge of guilt. It started small, but had gotten bigger with every beat of his heart. His head was pounding. His mind seemed to scream at him. Murder! it cried. I'm so sorry Shuichi. I didn't mean any of what I said in a literal way. Thoughts of him telling the pink-haired boy to go and die rushed past.
Pictures trickled into his mind. He saw another man, Laying in a similar position on a cold, gray floor. He saw a small blonde boy with a gun in his hand. There were many tears. No. I can't think of Kitazwa now. He is gone now, and the events that occurred that day are history. Even the thoughts should no longer be part of my life. This man here…his name is Shuichi. Shuichi Shindou. And he is mine. Tears stung at the twenty-two year old's eyes. Or… at least he was.
Yuki was at a loss for options. He felt so hopeless. He leaned over to kiss the lifeless body's lips. He felt the warm red liquid transfer onto his face, but Yuki didn't car. Memories of their days together ran rampant. He found that there weren't many times he had smiled, or said something nice. I blew it all away. I'm so, so sorry Shu-chan.
Eiri hadn't gathered up much for ideas over the past fifteen minutes. He was too devastated. He had no plan, and nowhere to go. He wondered if it was really he who had died, and this was hell. But he felt the throbbing in his head, and that was satisfactory. He was here in Tokyo, alive.
Yuki had to go somewhere, anywhere. All of the scarlet around him was driving him insane. He couldn't leave Shuichi though. Yuki paused for a moment and thought.
I will take him with.