Chapter 19: CURSED WITH WORRY
"Poppy!" squealed a voice loudly, which Harry figured had woken him up.
"Shh!" said another voice. "He's still out."
"What do you suppose is wrong with him?"
"Not sure, exactly. I told you I have one idea, but it's totally ridiculous."
"No, I don't think he's that stupid, honestly. No Hogwarts student is."
Harry noticed that he was awake but it was as if his brain was going in slow motion. He was able recognize who the owners of the voices were, drowsy as he was. But aside from being drowsy...
"We'll have to see," said Madam Pomfrey.
"When he wakes up you can ask him," suggested Professor McGonagall.
"Honestly, Minerva, I would lie if I did that," said Madam Pomfrey matter-of-factly. "Goodness knows he's going to, he always does."
"But do you really think so? I mean, unicorn blood, Poppy... What did Hagrid say?"
"Says Potter took off with Raides and she won't say a word against him!" squealed Madam Pomfrey. "Won't even say what he did when Hagrid wasn't with them."
There was a meaningful sigh.
"Ah yes, I figured as much. Albus said he's been doing some research on that staff. It's got a kind of strict loyalty to it's owner, and seeing as... well there you are." Professor McGonagall seemed slightly unsettled about this as she said it.
"Did he happen to find out why it was missing for so long?" Madam Pomfrey asked anxiously.
"Unfortunately not. There was a mention that it was certainly kept away for a good reason but we'll have to see. Something about magic so forbidden that it shouldn't even be mentioned. Dangerous, indeed," said Professor McGonagall thoughtfully, "very dangerous."
There was a very pregnant pause and then a door slammed open.
"Poppy!" said a very scared Sirius. "Where? Where is he?"
"O-o-over, there, Sirius," said Madam Pomfrey cautiously.
"My God," said Sirius softly, and then... "HARRY!" he roared and Harry heard frantic footsteps coming closer.
He felt hot breath over his face.
"Harry -- Harry open your eyes, say something," said Sirius, putting a hand on Harry's forehead, trying to see if he had a fever.
"Sirius, please!" said Madam Pomfrey urgently. "We're not yet sure if that's what it is. Why would he in the first place? I'm sure Potter knows."
"I just hope he didn't..."
Harry moved his head from side to side and it didn't seem like anyone noticed. It was a little stiff.
"We -- can -- not -- be -- sure," said Madam Pomfrey firmly. "For all we know he had a head cold and threw up," she added dismissively. "Where's Raides?"
"Up in his dormitory. But she won't listen to anyone but Harry, remember?"
Harry's eyes opened all on their own. His glasses had been removed but he could make out the shape of Sirius who was standing next to him, looking at Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey, who were both at the door. He didn't feel sick anymore and no part of him was hurting but that didn't wash away the memory of how he had gotten himself there. He was still very undecided on whether he should tell, or whether he should keep it to himself and see if it would just go away -- and just going away on it's own seemed like a very large possibility. Besides, Madam Pomfrey couldn't tell and she usually knew what everything was, didn't she?
"Can I just stay with him until he wakes up, Poppy?" Sirius asked.
"Be my guest -- if he ever wakes up," she groaned. "Goodness knows he might have just tried to poison himself to end it and that's why he threw up. It's all very sad, I know and this is going to sound cold but there is simply nothing we can do. Very well. Come, Minerva, I want to show you something concerning this."
Madam Pomfrey sighed. Footsteps faded away and Harry closed his eyes just as the door closed because they didn't want to stay open anymore; he was still feeling very tired. He supposed he would have slept longer had Professor McGonagall's voice not yelled in his ear. The sick feeling entered his stomach again and it churned horribly as Madam Pomfrey's words sank in. Harry felt Sirius bend down closer to him again and felt Sirius' hand on top of his head.
"Harry --" he said in a soft, pleading voice, "Harry, please, please wake up..."
He felt his hair being ruffled.
"Do something, do anything. Open your eyes, move something, you can even just swallow..."
Harry's heart couldn't bear to hear Sirius sound like this and so, finding out where his throat muscles were, he did the exact opposite and opened his eyes instead. Sirius was standing over him and for the split second where Harry had seen a deeply concerned face, it split into a smile, a tear leaking down from the left eye.
"Harry -- Harry, please tell me that it wasn't -- that you didn't drink unicorn blood," said Sirius, now gripping Harry's hair for his own comfort.
Staring into that face, those desperate eyes -- and seeing as how there didn't appear to be anything terribly wrong with him -- Harry couldn't bring himself to admit it. He would need a coverup story as it's not every day you're found on your bed, unconscious after having just thrown up... Perhaps he just did that because he was, well, sick with worry? Yes, that's it, Harry thought, it was just because I was so scared... I don't need anyone fussing over me any more, Voldemort is enough.
But he would take care of business and... and ask Raides about it.
"Unicorn blood?" Harry asked, hoping he sounded surprised. "No."
"So -- so then you just weren't feeling well?" Sirius suggested, not sounding at all like he believed it. "Because -- I-if you did, you know, you're most likely feeling the worst you've ever felt in your life and you can -- can tell me," Sirius finished and then he swallowed, waiting for Harry to reply.
The worst I've ever felt, Harry thought incredulously... I feel like an idiot but as far as my health goes, I'm just a little tired and stiff...
He had a feeling Sirius only suggested that Harry had a cold because he honestly didn't want to believe that Harry had...
Clearly, something wasn't right.
"Why am I so drowsy?" said Harry, pulling his hands out from under the covers and stretching his neck. "I've been awake for a few minutes. How long have I been out, anyway?"
Sirius stopped looking like Harry was on his deathbed, broke into a bigger smile, laughed nervously and pulled up a chair to sit on.
"Ron screamed like a banshee when he saw you," said Sirius, leaning forward and grinning. "He then went to get Hermione while half the Gryffindor common room came up to see. The first thing anyone said was 'Get Madam Pomfrey.' They kept you here since last night, it's almost lunch time. Poppy forced a few potions down your throat to see if she couldn't find out why you had thrown up. An unfortunate side effect to one of them is drowsiness. It's not any better than her Pepper-Up Potion which I'm sure you know leaves people smoking at the ears," he went on and laughed nervously and shortly again.
Harry was unfortunately reminded of the detention he had had for a week last year in the hospital wing with Professor Snape. He was making potions with, unknown to Harry for a while, the nearly-soulless Sirius covered up in the corner. But the thought was silly now and he couldn't help but smile and groan, "Don't remind me." He had accomplished what for so long Harry thought meant the end of Sirius: pull him from Azkaban and get his name cleared. It was a bumpy ride, but he did it...
"Well... And I remember Albus Disapparating to where I was staying with Remus and saying, 'I think you will want to see this.' He had such a serious look on his face I thought someone died. When I got here and heard that Poppy had suggested the ridiculous idea that you drank unicorn blood -- Hermione said you had some on your robes -- you can imagine my panic. I guess it was dumb to even think you'd do that," Sirius said, still smiling and making Harry's heart plummet.
"Yeah, dumb," said Harry while putting on a fake smile and feeling even worse.
Sirius stood up, looking a lot better than he did just a few minutes ago which did nothing but further Harry's feeling of guilt. It looked like the unicorn blood didn't even affect him -- but how could that be? He was positively burning with the words "I did drink unicorn blood" on the tip of his tongue but he held back and the only reason he could come up with was that he didn't want anyone fussing over another huge mystery... Harry Potter, the boy who drank unicorn blood. As if the scar wasn't enough? And being a Parseltongue? And being able the control lightning? And possession...
No, he simply didn't like the idea. At one point, he figured, he'd be forced to spill everything but maybe if he postponed it long enough, it would just go away. That seemed like the best thing to do for now and since he knew now that Raides wouldn't say a word to anyone about anything, he could safely tell her about everything and that at least put a little comfort back into him.
Harry sat up and the drowsiness feeling left him.
"I'm feeling just fine now," he said, telling the one-hundred-percent truth.
Sirius, who just stopped looking like he had nearly attended Harry's funeral, patted Harry on the back and handed him his glasses. Harry put them on as Sirius pointed to the bedside cabinet. Sitting on it was a bunch of get-well cards, a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, an open Chocolate Frog box with a Wizard Card of Harry, Honeyduke's chocolate -- and a miniature unicorn, no doubt sent to him by Fred or George Weasley, Ron's elder twin brothers who owned a wizarding joke shop in Hogsmeade.
"I'd like to stay," said Sirius, leaning back, "but there's nowhere for me here and I need to go back to Remus' place --"
Harry frowned, his mind wandering from the previous subject.
"Him and I are Severus' contact. He's been wandering around Britian with Voldemort since last June and Albus wants me to keep in touch with him. You don't want Voldemort coming here, do you?"
Harry responded very quickly, shaking his head and gave an involuntary shudder on what he was about to say. "The Crucio from Thantanos last June was enough to last me a life time..."
"So I've heard..." Sirius commented darkly. He opened his mouth to say something else, paused, closed it, exhaled and then said, "In any case, it looks like you're feeling better. Madam Pomfrey said it would be okay if you left. Ron and Hermione are anxious to know that you're okay."
Harry knew that Madam Pomfrey had said no such thing -- she didn't even like releasing her patients until they begged -- but Harry appreciated it all the same.
Sirius stood up from his chair as Harry got out of bed and spotted a change of Hogwarts robes. Madam Pomfrey came in in the middle of him getting dressed, ordering Harry to change back into pajamas, confirming his suspicion. She shoved a large piece of chocolate in front of him and, after much arguing with Sirius, agreed to let Harry go after he ate it in front of her. And, feeling no different after finishing the last of it, Harry set off for Gryffindor Tower, hoping for dear life no one would make a big deal out of him vomitting... but he had a feeling at least someone, someone by the name of Malfoy, would. Feeling distinctly angry at the thought of Malfoy for no apparent reason, he just hoped he wouldn't have to deal with Malfoy until later in the day or, at best, ever.
"Harry!" shrieked Hermione as the portait hole swung open and she flung her arms around his neck. Harry stared at some space to the left of her left ear.
"I'm fine," Harry told her as Ron's castle made out of Exploding Snap cards fell down, causing Craig Stone, a sixth year, James Griffith and Ginny to snigger uncontrollably.
"Oh, shut up," said Ron bitterly but then he spotted Harry and forgot all about the burn marks on his fingers.
A bunch of Gryffindors got up from their chairs to get a better look at Harry, including --
"No, Dennis, and I'm perfectly okay," Harry said before Dennis got a chance to say --
"Harry! Harry, did you really drink unicorn blood? And it didn't affect you?"
"No," Harry lied, this time sure he sounded and looked convincing, "I didn't drink unicorn blood and I'm sure it would've affected me," he continued lying.
He made his way to the table Hermione had been sitting at and she quickly asked him, "What made you so sick, then? C'mon Harry, I know you're --"
"Ate something that didn't agree with me," said Harry shortly, "that's all."
"And you were about to write to Sirius about something just before it happened, right?" Hermione said sharply and eyeing him just the same.
She put down her Arithmancy notes and folded her hands, looking up at Harry and waiting for his answer. Harry raised both his eyebrows at this; he didn't know what to make of it.
"What are you on about?"
"I know you too well to just let this slip --"
"Let what slip?" Harry asked innocently, getting generally annoyed (and his anger about Malfoy not helping any).
"This!" Hermione exclaimed urgently.
"What's this?" Harry retorted, very aware of -- but not caring much about -- the people staring at the pair of them.
Hermione stood up so suddenly from her squashy armchair that she forgot all about Crookshanks on her lap who hit the ground with an irritable meow and stalked away, his bottle brush tail in the air, feeling undignified.
"Oh would you look at that," said Harry, staring down at his golden wristwatch, infuriating Hermione, "time for lunch."
And without even looking to see the angry expression Hermione was wearing, he followed Ron out through the portrait hole.
"Ignore her," said Ron once the portrait hole closed (there was a loud tut just before it shut). "She's been telling the entire school that you drank unicorn blood and won't hear a word against it. She thinks that because Raides won't answer anyone, it's the truth."
Ron had half the story right. Harry did drink unicorn blood but Raides won't answer to anyone but Harry... And contrary to Harry's belief, Malfoy didn't have a word to say to him as he strode past Malfoy on his way into the Great Hall. He just sort of stood there, a dumbstruck look on his face with Crabbe and Goyle next to him, looking just like they always did when a teacher asked them a question.
"She made everyone believe I drank unicorn blood, didn't she?" said Harry angrily, taking a seat next to Ron at the Gryffindor table.
Before Harry had even taken two bites, Hermione came waltzing in and sat nonchalantly in front of Harry and Ron.
"Let's just drop it," she said pleasantly, "because we all know it's true," she muttered under her breath.
"Yes, let's," Harry agreed fervently, noticing but not caring that Ron was eyeing him anxiously. "What," he then said, sticking a forkful of pork in his mouth and then talking with food in it, "so quick to side with her?" Ron quickly turned away from him. "I didn't drink any unicorn blood!" Harry shouted. "I would have been cursed! Do I look cursed to you?"
"Oh, I don't know," said Hermione, reverting, to Harry's displeasure, to the bossy voice she had when he first met her, "because I'm thinking you did, and it's not affecting you, and you're scared, you don't know what to think, and that's why you're not telling us," she concluded.
It was only when she finished speaking that Harry realized that the hand putting the fork to his mouth had stopped moving some time in the middle of her litte speech.
Ron was now avoiding his eyes; it looked he did believe Hermione after all. Ginny, who had been secretly listening in, looked away, too. Seamus, Dean, Neville, Lavender, Parvati... all of them were listening in and all turned away just as quickly.
Not wanting anyone to correctly interpret his arm stopping as a confirmation of Hermione's suspicion, he looked around at everyone and, in the silence of the Great Hall (broken only by Raides, who's entrance averted nobody's attention), put the food in his mouth and chewed as casually as possible.
A bit of talk broke out at the Slytherin table which was, unfortunately for Harry, farthest from the Gryffindor table as could be. There was a very unnerving pause during which everyone who caught Harry's gaze went back to eating. And when he looked over at the Slytherin table, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Dudley were whispering to one another.
The next second, Harry found himself shouting, "Is there something interesting to look at?" without looking at anything but his mostly-full plate. "I'm not hungry," he then said, dropping his fork, standing up and swiftly exiting the Great Hall, uncomfortably aware of many eyes staring uncertainly after him.
"D'you really think there's something wrong with Harry?" said Ron, goggling at the shadow of Harry as it disappeared from view.
"Yes," said Hermione in a whisper, completely sure of it. "But the question is... what?" she asked, staring confused at Ron, her brow furrowed.
Raides quickly left and caught up with Harry on the marble staircase.
"You can tell me," she said, walking at his side. "I won't --"
"I know that by now," Harry said, who kept on walking and not looking at Raides. "And it's just -- it bothers me a bit."
"Bothers you? I was created to be loyal to the ancients and the ancients alone. Seeing as you're a descendent, I keep my silence for you."
It had been a good year since Harry had been told the news he was a descendent of the ancients but the thought still terrified him. What other hidden magic was there besides the Mark of Ancients? How long was it going to take to show it? How much of it was Dark magic? He supposed that, knowing that the ancients had turned arrogant and became Dark wizards, the Staff of Cybele was no exception to this Dark magic, especially considering it kept secrets. He had no doubt that Raides, before her memory was wiped, had been keeping some pretty dark ones...
"Hermione's right then, isn't she --" said Raides thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Harry at once, now walking more quickly in his anxiousness.
"Naturally, I'd love to give you the answer but seeing as... But you're not cursed, it seems, so there's nothing --"
"Nothing to worry about?" Harry squealed incredulously, glancing at her for a moment and feeling distinctly sick again. The look painted on his face was one beyond distress and worry.
He wondered for a bit if he was a descendent of Godric Gryffindor, too. He had been told so, but later told the person who gave him this bit of information hadn't been entirely truthful. The only thing he'd been told was true was the ancients part. The feeling eased him a little; Gryffindor wasn't likely to be a corrupt ancient -- if he was an ancient at all. The only scary part was what about the other Hogwarts founders? Was Slytherin one, too? That would make Voldemort an ancient and that was none too comforting...
But he still wanted to know why the Staff of Cybele was hidden for so many years!
"Password?" asked the Fat Lady as Harry approached.
"Priscus Veneficus," Harry said.
Ignoring Raides ("You are feeling all right, aren't you?") and Dennis ("Hiya, Harry!"), Harry climbed the spiral stairs to the circular dormitory atop Gryffindor Tower. Standing out on his bedside cabinet was the pen again. As a hand grabbed the Order of Merlin plaque, he sat up against the side of his four-poster. Grabbing his knees with his free arm, the plaque did nothing.
"You sure you don't remember anything about it?" Harry asked Raides, who had jumped up on his bed.
"Not a thing."
Harry sighed, wondering what the entirety of Hogwarts would do had he admitted straight away that he drank unicorn blood. He was assured that Madam Pomfrey would have kept him in the hospital wing for an entire month, trying to find out whether he'd been cursed in the slightest bit. And Sirius... he looked ready to pass out from worry. He supposed Hermione knew ever since he threw up and that she figured out he was scared because he did that (at least now he was assured the only reason he'd done so was from fright). Ron wasn't taking sides, possibly not keen on upsetting Harry further (something he sure did appreciate).
At the very least, he hadn't heard a word from Malfoy which Harry thought would have made him repeat the disaster that got him detention in the first place. Or perhaps Malfoy was so scared that Harry would grow foot-long fangs and poison him? Harry amused himself for a few moments with the image of chasing Malfoy, fangs bared, around the lake.
Just then, something pecked the back of his head and a bunch of soft feathers brushed up against his cheek. He turned his head to see what it was and his nose hit the tail feathers of a snowy owl trying to turn around.
"Hey, Hedwig," said Harry, trying to sound happy but failing. "Oh, great. A letter from Cho. She found out, too."
"I would think someone would have told her," said Raides, grinning. "I mean, she is your girlfriend."
Harry, not particularly wanting to hear about Cho's worry on top of everyone else's, opened it anyway and read aloud.
Harry,
Oh my God, I do hope you're all right. Hermione --
Harry made a wince of annoyance.
-- sent Hedwig with an explanation. Please, please write back and tell me it was just something that looked like unicorn blood because I'm losing my mind over here. I'd come and see you but my mom refuses to let me. She says if you really did, she doesn't want me to see you again, babbling something about "it's going to be painful since he won't be alive much longer." She also took the time to remind me that there's no point since you're going to kill yourself anyway.
I really do want to know that you're okay and I want to see you! Harry, please!
Love,
Cho
He stared at the last two lines for a few moments before being jogged back back to his senses by someone calling his name.
"Harry?" Ron called.
"What?" Harry snapped hotly, quickly looking up from Cho's letter.
"Oh," said Ron in a small voice, "I was just -- just checking to see if you were okay."
"Of course I'm okay," Harry replied, feeling anything but, still sitting up against the side of his bed, one hand still clutching the Order of Merlin plaque, the other still holding his knees against himself.
"Dumbledore wants to see you," said Ron, feeling slightly uneasy. "Whenever you're ready, go up to his office. He said the password is -- well, he didn't exactly say but he said you'll know." Harry stared at Ron, a bemused expression on his face. "What d'you want from me?" Ron snapped quite suddenly. "Harry, you're acting very strange lately. I'm starting to believe Hermione."
"Oh, as if you didn't believe her from the start?" Harry said accusingly, a little louder than he intended. His defiance was mounting from holding the plaque.
"Sirius is still here," Ron shouted, his anger mounting, "and he doesn't know whether to lock you in your room or send you to a mental ward for counseling! Hermione convinced -- everyone -- that you did and you're just too scared to --"
"Did she now?" said Harry suggestively, standing up and stuffing Cho's letter in his bedside cabinet.
"Who was that from?" said Ron, noticing.
"My mom," said Harry, annoyed at Ron's nosiness. He then said the first thing that came to his mind. "She wants to know if I'm coming home for dinner."
"Are you having roast unicorn?"
"No, my dad thinks it tastes awful," said Harry loftily. "But you should taste my mom's beef casserole, it's the best. Good-bye," he added scathingly.
Ron turned on his heel and swept down the spiral staircase leaving Harry with a sharp change of mood -- he wished he hadn't blown up on Ron. Feeling horrible, he pulled out Cho's letter, sat up against the bed again (Hedwig flew off his shoulder and took off through the window) and re-read parts of it.
I'd come and see you but my mom refuses to let me.
I really do want to know that you're okay and I want to see you! Harry, please!
Love,
Cho
He finished with one hand holding the letter and the other curled up in a worried and guilty fist, covering his mouth. His heart shriveled up on the notion that she seemed just as worried as Sirius had been. To make matters worse for Cho, she wasn't allowed to go to Hogwarts to see Harry so she could see for herself. He smiled weakly at the letter, forgetting for a moment about Ron and remembering what Cho looked like. His heart half-way unshriveled and what was left pushed out some of the coldness he had had while yelling at Ron. He really wanted to see her too, but wouldn't be able to until at least Christmas.
Okay Harry, get a grip on yourself again, he told himself. You can go and tell Ron you're sorry later but you better not keep Dumbledore waiting. So you drank unicorn blood and you weren't cursed, big deal. You should have died when you were a year old but you didn't. No one knows what your scar is and the unicorn blood thing isn't any more of a big mystery as that is. You'll get through it, you always have. And take your hand off the stupid plaque.
"Poppy!" squealed a voice loudly, which Harry figured had woken him up.
"Shh!" said another voice. "He's still out."
"What do you suppose is wrong with him?"
"Not sure, exactly. I told you I have one idea, but it's totally ridiculous."
"No, I don't think he's that stupid, honestly. No Hogwarts student is."
Harry noticed that he was awake but it was as if his brain was going in slow motion. He was able recognize who the owners of the voices were, drowsy as he was. But aside from being drowsy...
"We'll have to see," said Madam Pomfrey.
"When he wakes up you can ask him," suggested Professor McGonagall.
"Honestly, Minerva, I would lie if I did that," said Madam Pomfrey matter-of-factly. "Goodness knows he's going to, he always does."
"But do you really think so? I mean, unicorn blood, Poppy... What did Hagrid say?"
"Says Potter took off with Raides and she won't say a word against him!" squealed Madam Pomfrey. "Won't even say what he did when Hagrid wasn't with them."
There was a meaningful sigh.
"Ah yes, I figured as much. Albus said he's been doing some research on that staff. It's got a kind of strict loyalty to it's owner, and seeing as... well there you are." Professor McGonagall seemed slightly unsettled about this as she said it.
"Did he happen to find out why it was missing for so long?" Madam Pomfrey asked anxiously.
"Unfortunately not. There was a mention that it was certainly kept away for a good reason but we'll have to see. Something about magic so forbidden that it shouldn't even be mentioned. Dangerous, indeed," said Professor McGonagall thoughtfully, "very dangerous."
There was a very pregnant pause and then a door slammed open.
"Poppy!" said a very scared Sirius. "Where? Where is he?"
"O-o-over, there, Sirius," said Madam Pomfrey cautiously.
"My God," said Sirius softly, and then... "HARRY!" he roared and Harry heard frantic footsteps coming closer.
He felt hot breath over his face.
"Harry -- Harry open your eyes, say something," said Sirius, putting a hand on Harry's forehead, trying to see if he had a fever.
"Sirius, please!" said Madam Pomfrey urgently. "We're not yet sure if that's what it is. Why would he in the first place? I'm sure Potter knows."
"I just hope he didn't..."
Harry moved his head from side to side and it didn't seem like anyone noticed. It was a little stiff.
"We -- can -- not -- be -- sure," said Madam Pomfrey firmly. "For all we know he had a head cold and threw up," she added dismissively. "Where's Raides?"
"Up in his dormitory. But she won't listen to anyone but Harry, remember?"
Harry's eyes opened all on their own. His glasses had been removed but he could make out the shape of Sirius who was standing next to him, looking at Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey, who were both at the door. He didn't feel sick anymore and no part of him was hurting but that didn't wash away the memory of how he had gotten himself there. He was still very undecided on whether he should tell, or whether he should keep it to himself and see if it would just go away -- and just going away on it's own seemed like a very large possibility. Besides, Madam Pomfrey couldn't tell and she usually knew what everything was, didn't she?
"Can I just stay with him until he wakes up, Poppy?" Sirius asked.
"Be my guest -- if he ever wakes up," she groaned. "Goodness knows he might have just tried to poison himself to end it and that's why he threw up. It's all very sad, I know and this is going to sound cold but there is simply nothing we can do. Very well. Come, Minerva, I want to show you something concerning this."
Madam Pomfrey sighed. Footsteps faded away and Harry closed his eyes just as the door closed because they didn't want to stay open anymore; he was still feeling very tired. He supposed he would have slept longer had Professor McGonagall's voice not yelled in his ear. The sick feeling entered his stomach again and it churned horribly as Madam Pomfrey's words sank in. Harry felt Sirius bend down closer to him again and felt Sirius' hand on top of his head.
"Harry --" he said in a soft, pleading voice, "Harry, please, please wake up..."
He felt his hair being ruffled.
"Do something, do anything. Open your eyes, move something, you can even just swallow..."
Harry's heart couldn't bear to hear Sirius sound like this and so, finding out where his throat muscles were, he did the exact opposite and opened his eyes instead. Sirius was standing over him and for the split second where Harry had seen a deeply concerned face, it split into a smile, a tear leaking down from the left eye.
"Harry -- Harry, please tell me that it wasn't -- that you didn't drink unicorn blood," said Sirius, now gripping Harry's hair for his own comfort.
Staring into that face, those desperate eyes -- and seeing as how there didn't appear to be anything terribly wrong with him -- Harry couldn't bring himself to admit it. He would need a coverup story as it's not every day you're found on your bed, unconscious after having just thrown up... Perhaps he just did that because he was, well, sick with worry? Yes, that's it, Harry thought, it was just because I was so scared... I don't need anyone fussing over me any more, Voldemort is enough.
But he would take care of business and... and ask Raides about it.
"Unicorn blood?" Harry asked, hoping he sounded surprised. "No."
"So -- so then you just weren't feeling well?" Sirius suggested, not sounding at all like he believed it. "Because -- I-if you did, you know, you're most likely feeling the worst you've ever felt in your life and you can -- can tell me," Sirius finished and then he swallowed, waiting for Harry to reply.
The worst I've ever felt, Harry thought incredulously... I feel like an idiot but as far as my health goes, I'm just a little tired and stiff...
He had a feeling Sirius only suggested that Harry had a cold because he honestly didn't want to believe that Harry had...
Clearly, something wasn't right.
"Why am I so drowsy?" said Harry, pulling his hands out from under the covers and stretching his neck. "I've been awake for a few minutes. How long have I been out, anyway?"
Sirius stopped looking like Harry was on his deathbed, broke into a bigger smile, laughed nervously and pulled up a chair to sit on.
"Ron screamed like a banshee when he saw you," said Sirius, leaning forward and grinning. "He then went to get Hermione while half the Gryffindor common room came up to see. The first thing anyone said was 'Get Madam Pomfrey.' They kept you here since last night, it's almost lunch time. Poppy forced a few potions down your throat to see if she couldn't find out why you had thrown up. An unfortunate side effect to one of them is drowsiness. It's not any better than her Pepper-Up Potion which I'm sure you know leaves people smoking at the ears," he went on and laughed nervously and shortly again.
Harry was unfortunately reminded of the detention he had had for a week last year in the hospital wing with Professor Snape. He was making potions with, unknown to Harry for a while, the nearly-soulless Sirius covered up in the corner. But the thought was silly now and he couldn't help but smile and groan, "Don't remind me." He had accomplished what for so long Harry thought meant the end of Sirius: pull him from Azkaban and get his name cleared. It was a bumpy ride, but he did it...
"Well... And I remember Albus Disapparating to where I was staying with Remus and saying, 'I think you will want to see this.' He had such a serious look on his face I thought someone died. When I got here and heard that Poppy had suggested the ridiculous idea that you drank unicorn blood -- Hermione said you had some on your robes -- you can imagine my panic. I guess it was dumb to even think you'd do that," Sirius said, still smiling and making Harry's heart plummet.
"Yeah, dumb," said Harry while putting on a fake smile and feeling even worse.
Sirius stood up, looking a lot better than he did just a few minutes ago which did nothing but further Harry's feeling of guilt. It looked like the unicorn blood didn't even affect him -- but how could that be? He was positively burning with the words "I did drink unicorn blood" on the tip of his tongue but he held back and the only reason he could come up with was that he didn't want anyone fussing over another huge mystery... Harry Potter, the boy who drank unicorn blood. As if the scar wasn't enough? And being a Parseltongue? And being able the control lightning? And possession...
No, he simply didn't like the idea. At one point, he figured, he'd be forced to spill everything but maybe if he postponed it long enough, it would just go away. That seemed like the best thing to do for now and since he knew now that Raides wouldn't say a word to anyone about anything, he could safely tell her about everything and that at least put a little comfort back into him.
Harry sat up and the drowsiness feeling left him.
"I'm feeling just fine now," he said, telling the one-hundred-percent truth.
Sirius, who just stopped looking like he had nearly attended Harry's funeral, patted Harry on the back and handed him his glasses. Harry put them on as Sirius pointed to the bedside cabinet. Sitting on it was a bunch of get-well cards, a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, an open Chocolate Frog box with a Wizard Card of Harry, Honeyduke's chocolate -- and a miniature unicorn, no doubt sent to him by Fred or George Weasley, Ron's elder twin brothers who owned a wizarding joke shop in Hogsmeade.
"I'd like to stay," said Sirius, leaning back, "but there's nowhere for me here and I need to go back to Remus' place --"
Harry frowned, his mind wandering from the previous subject.
"Him and I are Severus' contact. He's been wandering around Britian with Voldemort since last June and Albus wants me to keep in touch with him. You don't want Voldemort coming here, do you?"
Harry responded very quickly, shaking his head and gave an involuntary shudder on what he was about to say. "The Crucio from Thantanos last June was enough to last me a life time..."
"So I've heard..." Sirius commented darkly. He opened his mouth to say something else, paused, closed it, exhaled and then said, "In any case, it looks like you're feeling better. Madam Pomfrey said it would be okay if you left. Ron and Hermione are anxious to know that you're okay."
Harry knew that Madam Pomfrey had said no such thing -- she didn't even like releasing her patients until they begged -- but Harry appreciated it all the same.
Sirius stood up from his chair as Harry got out of bed and spotted a change of Hogwarts robes. Madam Pomfrey came in in the middle of him getting dressed, ordering Harry to change back into pajamas, confirming his suspicion. She shoved a large piece of chocolate in front of him and, after much arguing with Sirius, agreed to let Harry go after he ate it in front of her. And, feeling no different after finishing the last of it, Harry set off for Gryffindor Tower, hoping for dear life no one would make a big deal out of him vomitting... but he had a feeling at least someone, someone by the name of Malfoy, would. Feeling distinctly angry at the thought of Malfoy for no apparent reason, he just hoped he wouldn't have to deal with Malfoy until later in the day or, at best, ever.
"Harry!" shrieked Hermione as the portait hole swung open and she flung her arms around his neck. Harry stared at some space to the left of her left ear.
"I'm fine," Harry told her as Ron's castle made out of Exploding Snap cards fell down, causing Craig Stone, a sixth year, James Griffith and Ginny to snigger uncontrollably.
"Oh, shut up," said Ron bitterly but then he spotted Harry and forgot all about the burn marks on his fingers.
A bunch of Gryffindors got up from their chairs to get a better look at Harry, including --
"No, Dennis, and I'm perfectly okay," Harry said before Dennis got a chance to say --
"Harry! Harry, did you really drink unicorn blood? And it didn't affect you?"
"No," Harry lied, this time sure he sounded and looked convincing, "I didn't drink unicorn blood and I'm sure it would've affected me," he continued lying.
He made his way to the table Hermione had been sitting at and she quickly asked him, "What made you so sick, then? C'mon Harry, I know you're --"
"Ate something that didn't agree with me," said Harry shortly, "that's all."
"And you were about to write to Sirius about something just before it happened, right?" Hermione said sharply and eyeing him just the same.
She put down her Arithmancy notes and folded her hands, looking up at Harry and waiting for his answer. Harry raised both his eyebrows at this; he didn't know what to make of it.
"What are you on about?"
"I know you too well to just let this slip --"
"Let what slip?" Harry asked innocently, getting generally annoyed (and his anger about Malfoy not helping any).
"This!" Hermione exclaimed urgently.
"What's this?" Harry retorted, very aware of -- but not caring much about -- the people staring at the pair of them.
Hermione stood up so suddenly from her squashy armchair that she forgot all about Crookshanks on her lap who hit the ground with an irritable meow and stalked away, his bottle brush tail in the air, feeling undignified.
"Oh would you look at that," said Harry, staring down at his golden wristwatch, infuriating Hermione, "time for lunch."
And without even looking to see the angry expression Hermione was wearing, he followed Ron out through the portrait hole.
"Ignore her," said Ron once the portrait hole closed (there was a loud tut just before it shut). "She's been telling the entire school that you drank unicorn blood and won't hear a word against it. She thinks that because Raides won't answer anyone, it's the truth."
Ron had half the story right. Harry did drink unicorn blood but Raides won't answer to anyone but Harry... And contrary to Harry's belief, Malfoy didn't have a word to say to him as he strode past Malfoy on his way into the Great Hall. He just sort of stood there, a dumbstruck look on his face with Crabbe and Goyle next to him, looking just like they always did when a teacher asked them a question.
"She made everyone believe I drank unicorn blood, didn't she?" said Harry angrily, taking a seat next to Ron at the Gryffindor table.
Before Harry had even taken two bites, Hermione came waltzing in and sat nonchalantly in front of Harry and Ron.
"Let's just drop it," she said pleasantly, "because we all know it's true," she muttered under her breath.
"Yes, let's," Harry agreed fervently, noticing but not caring that Ron was eyeing him anxiously. "What," he then said, sticking a forkful of pork in his mouth and then talking with food in it, "so quick to side with her?" Ron quickly turned away from him. "I didn't drink any unicorn blood!" Harry shouted. "I would have been cursed! Do I look cursed to you?"
"Oh, I don't know," said Hermione, reverting, to Harry's displeasure, to the bossy voice she had when he first met her, "because I'm thinking you did, and it's not affecting you, and you're scared, you don't know what to think, and that's why you're not telling us," she concluded.
It was only when she finished speaking that Harry realized that the hand putting the fork to his mouth had stopped moving some time in the middle of her litte speech.
Ron was now avoiding his eyes; it looked he did believe Hermione after all. Ginny, who had been secretly listening in, looked away, too. Seamus, Dean, Neville, Lavender, Parvati... all of them were listening in and all turned away just as quickly.
Not wanting anyone to correctly interpret his arm stopping as a confirmation of Hermione's suspicion, he looked around at everyone and, in the silence of the Great Hall (broken only by Raides, who's entrance averted nobody's attention), put the food in his mouth and chewed as casually as possible.
A bit of talk broke out at the Slytherin table which was, unfortunately for Harry, farthest from the Gryffindor table as could be. There was a very unnerving pause during which everyone who caught Harry's gaze went back to eating. And when he looked over at the Slytherin table, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Dudley were whispering to one another.
The next second, Harry found himself shouting, "Is there something interesting to look at?" without looking at anything but his mostly-full plate. "I'm not hungry," he then said, dropping his fork, standing up and swiftly exiting the Great Hall, uncomfortably aware of many eyes staring uncertainly after him.
"D'you really think there's something wrong with Harry?" said Ron, goggling at the shadow of Harry as it disappeared from view.
"Yes," said Hermione in a whisper, completely sure of it. "But the question is... what?" she asked, staring confused at Ron, her brow furrowed.
Raides quickly left and caught up with Harry on the marble staircase.
"You can tell me," she said, walking at his side. "I won't --"
"I know that by now," Harry said, who kept on walking and not looking at Raides. "And it's just -- it bothers me a bit."
"Bothers you? I was created to be loyal to the ancients and the ancients alone. Seeing as you're a descendent, I keep my silence for you."
It had been a good year since Harry had been told the news he was a descendent of the ancients but the thought still terrified him. What other hidden magic was there besides the Mark of Ancients? How long was it going to take to show it? How much of it was Dark magic? He supposed that, knowing that the ancients had turned arrogant and became Dark wizards, the Staff of Cybele was no exception to this Dark magic, especially considering it kept secrets. He had no doubt that Raides, before her memory was wiped, had been keeping some pretty dark ones...
"Hermione's right then, isn't she --" said Raides thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Harry at once, now walking more quickly in his anxiousness.
"Naturally, I'd love to give you the answer but seeing as... But you're not cursed, it seems, so there's nothing --"
"Nothing to worry about?" Harry squealed incredulously, glancing at her for a moment and feeling distinctly sick again. The look painted on his face was one beyond distress and worry.
He wondered for a bit if he was a descendent of Godric Gryffindor, too. He had been told so, but later told the person who gave him this bit of information hadn't been entirely truthful. The only thing he'd been told was true was the ancients part. The feeling eased him a little; Gryffindor wasn't likely to be a corrupt ancient -- if he was an ancient at all. The only scary part was what about the other Hogwarts founders? Was Slytherin one, too? That would make Voldemort an ancient and that was none too comforting...
But he still wanted to know why the Staff of Cybele was hidden for so many years!
"Password?" asked the Fat Lady as Harry approached.
"Priscus Veneficus," Harry said.
Ignoring Raides ("You are feeling all right, aren't you?") and Dennis ("Hiya, Harry!"), Harry climbed the spiral stairs to the circular dormitory atop Gryffindor Tower. Standing out on his bedside cabinet was the pen again. As a hand grabbed the Order of Merlin plaque, he sat up against the side of his four-poster. Grabbing his knees with his free arm, the plaque did nothing.
"You sure you don't remember anything about it?" Harry asked Raides, who had jumped up on his bed.
"Not a thing."
Harry sighed, wondering what the entirety of Hogwarts would do had he admitted straight away that he drank unicorn blood. He was assured that Madam Pomfrey would have kept him in the hospital wing for an entire month, trying to find out whether he'd been cursed in the slightest bit. And Sirius... he looked ready to pass out from worry. He supposed Hermione knew ever since he threw up and that she figured out he was scared because he did that (at least now he was assured the only reason he'd done so was from fright). Ron wasn't taking sides, possibly not keen on upsetting Harry further (something he sure did appreciate).
At the very least, he hadn't heard a word from Malfoy which Harry thought would have made him repeat the disaster that got him detention in the first place. Or perhaps Malfoy was so scared that Harry would grow foot-long fangs and poison him? Harry amused himself for a few moments with the image of chasing Malfoy, fangs bared, around the lake.
Just then, something pecked the back of his head and a bunch of soft feathers brushed up against his cheek. He turned his head to see what it was and his nose hit the tail feathers of a snowy owl trying to turn around.
"Hey, Hedwig," said Harry, trying to sound happy but failing. "Oh, great. A letter from Cho. She found out, too."
"I would think someone would have told her," said Raides, grinning. "I mean, she is your girlfriend."
Harry, not particularly wanting to hear about Cho's worry on top of everyone else's, opened it anyway and read aloud.
Harry,
Oh my God, I do hope you're all right. Hermione --
Harry made a wince of annoyance.
-- sent Hedwig with an explanation. Please, please write back and tell me it was just something that looked like unicorn blood because I'm losing my mind over here. I'd come and see you but my mom refuses to let me. She says if you really did, she doesn't want me to see you again, babbling something about "it's going to be painful since he won't be alive much longer." She also took the time to remind me that there's no point since you're going to kill yourself anyway.
I really do want to know that you're okay and I want to see you! Harry, please!
Love,
Cho
He stared at the last two lines for a few moments before being jogged back back to his senses by someone calling his name.
"Harry?" Ron called.
"What?" Harry snapped hotly, quickly looking up from Cho's letter.
"Oh," said Ron in a small voice, "I was just -- just checking to see if you were okay."
"Of course I'm okay," Harry replied, feeling anything but, still sitting up against the side of his bed, one hand still clutching the Order of Merlin plaque, the other still holding his knees against himself.
"Dumbledore wants to see you," said Ron, feeling slightly uneasy. "Whenever you're ready, go up to his office. He said the password is -- well, he didn't exactly say but he said you'll know." Harry stared at Ron, a bemused expression on his face. "What d'you want from me?" Ron snapped quite suddenly. "Harry, you're acting very strange lately. I'm starting to believe Hermione."
"Oh, as if you didn't believe her from the start?" Harry said accusingly, a little louder than he intended. His defiance was mounting from holding the plaque.
"Sirius is still here," Ron shouted, his anger mounting, "and he doesn't know whether to lock you in your room or send you to a mental ward for counseling! Hermione convinced -- everyone -- that you did and you're just too scared to --"
"Did she now?" said Harry suggestively, standing up and stuffing Cho's letter in his bedside cabinet.
"Who was that from?" said Ron, noticing.
"My mom," said Harry, annoyed at Ron's nosiness. He then said the first thing that came to his mind. "She wants to know if I'm coming home for dinner."
"Are you having roast unicorn?"
"No, my dad thinks it tastes awful," said Harry loftily. "But you should taste my mom's beef casserole, it's the best. Good-bye," he added scathingly.
Ron turned on his heel and swept down the spiral staircase leaving Harry with a sharp change of mood -- he wished he hadn't blown up on Ron. Feeling horrible, he pulled out Cho's letter, sat up against the bed again (Hedwig flew off his shoulder and took off through the window) and re-read parts of it.
I'd come and see you but my mom refuses to let me.
I really do want to know that you're okay and I want to see you! Harry, please!
Love,
Cho
He finished with one hand holding the letter and the other curled up in a worried and guilty fist, covering his mouth. His heart shriveled up on the notion that she seemed just as worried as Sirius had been. To make matters worse for Cho, she wasn't allowed to go to Hogwarts to see Harry so she could see for herself. He smiled weakly at the letter, forgetting for a moment about Ron and remembering what Cho looked like. His heart half-way unshriveled and what was left pushed out some of the coldness he had had while yelling at Ron. He really wanted to see her too, but wouldn't be able to until at least Christmas.
Okay Harry, get a grip on yourself again, he told himself. You can go and tell Ron you're sorry later but you better not keep Dumbledore waiting. So you drank unicorn blood and you weren't cursed, big deal. You should have died when you were a year old but you didn't. No one knows what your scar is and the unicorn blood thing isn't any more of a big mystery as that is. You'll get through it, you always have. And take your hand off the stupid plaque.