A/N: Thank you thank you thank you everyone for your feedback. I love reviews, good and bad so please feel free to post them. This installment takes place during One Son and references Two Fathers, The Rain King, How the Ghosts Stole Christmas, and Tithonus so beware spoilers.

Disclaimer: All of the characters, scenery, some of the quotes belong to Fox, CC and that whole crew. I don't claim them, just trying to make the voices in my head go away.

CHAPTER 7

Dana Scully had long ago resigned herself to the concept that her life would forever be an emotional rollercoaster. To maintain her sanity, she did what she could in order to hold on for the ride. She bottled up her feelings and kept her back and her spirit as rigid as she could. Even though such a philosophy earned her the nickname "Ice Queen" among some work circles, it was the best way she could find to keep a grip on reality.

But there were days when she just wanted to throw her hands up in the air and start screaming when the rollercoaster started that fast descent downward. After all, it seemed like everyone else was allowed to lose themselves in the twists and turns of the ride, why couldn't she?

For as many times as she asked herself that question, the answer never changed: Because Ahab taught her better than that.

But even now, as she stood in the cramped and messy offices of the Lone Gunmen, staring down the steely glare of her partner, she wanted nothing more than to throw her arms up and start bellowing to the heavens above.

But she didn't.

"You ask me to trust no one, but you give your trust to this woman on nothing more than simple faith." She was relatively calm and she wasn't about to break eye contact with him. He needed to see that she was as sure about this. She needed him to understand there was no doubt in her mind. She needed him to respect her strength of character that this wasn't a figment of her imagination.

And as happened so many, many times before, she did not get what she needed in return for her efforts.

He didn't even pause to consider what she was saying. "Because you haven't given me any reason here to do otherwise."

The arrogance in his voice made her angrier than she already was. His inability to even comprehend that once, maybe once she might be right about something was something she would never find endearing, but when all was said and done, she didn't know why she was surprised. She knew he how he would react to this. Even as she stood arguing her case, she knew she was wasting her time and energy.

It still hurt though, like a thousand knives ripping through her soul.

At some point, the presence of the three journalists behind her became transparent and she felt that rollercoaster start a heavy ascent that pulled on her very being. She knew why he was resisting her on this, she was not blind. Her partner, her best friend, her protector and endangerer, the one person she trusted above all others, the man she would die for and almost had on many occasions ­- was in love with this other woman who left him and came back.

"I had things at home I wanted to get back to."

It was clear now, Diana would be the one that would always have his unfailing loyalty. He trusted her more than anyone….and Scully felt like a fool for ever believing that she was irreplaceable to him.

The thought made her stomach do a flip-flop as the ride that had become her life seemed to become faster and more out of control. As the rollercoaster finished its climb upward, she looked down at the drop she was about to take. She felt the crash and burn coming on and she called on all that Ahab had taught her to give her strength.

Regardless of what was going on in Mulder's obviously fuddled brain, she was not about to go down without a fight. She would walk out of this room with some dignity.

"If that's the case, I can't help you anymore." She had work to do and she wasn't going to stand there and cowtow to foolish games when the matter at stake was that of life or death.

"Scully, you're making this personal."

"No kidding, Sherlock," she thought, but did not speak. Instead, she used what little restraint she had.

"It is personal. Without the FBI, personal interest is all I have left. And if you take that away from me, then there is nothing left for me here."

Knowing her patience and restraint were on a fraying thread, she sharply turned and left the small office, slamming the door prominently behind her.

In the wake of the argument, Byers, Langly and Frohike stood motionless and speechless. Mulder, however, seemed unphased by his partner's outburst but rather than say anything, he just looked at his friends, shrugged and quietly left, leaving the Gunmen with their own commentary once the door clicked shut.

"Idiot," they said in unison.

The door wasn't that thick and he heard their comments, but opted to ignore them for the time being. Mulder looked around the alley and shook off the agitation he was feeling about the whole situation.

He couldn't make sense of his partner's behavior. She was acting catty, territorial. If he didn't know her any better he would swear her tirades, including the one a few days ago at Fort Marlene, were the product of jealousy.

He had seen many different sides to Scully, but he didn't like this Scully. This seemed to be a Scully who would go behind his back to try and stick a knife in someone else's. In all honesty, he half expected her to bring up the Holcomb case and her trip to San Diego. Since she hadn't played that card, he figured she had definitely come up empty handed in that little excursion into Diana's past.

He frowned as he sat in his car for a moment. Scully, whether or not he cared to admit it, had become one of the few voices of reason in his head. Most of the time, she was the rock, the calm in the storm. What had changed?

It was Scully's voice of reason that had given him the file connecting Gibson's DNA to extraterrestrial DNA which was also part of junk DNA found in all humans.

She had been right then. But before he could acknowledge her discovery, he pushed her away. He pushed hard. He never did properly apologize for it either.

They walked a fine line for a short time after that. She had saved his ass from the Atlantic Ocean, not to mention the time they spent together on Christmas Eve, which started out freaky but ended comfortably. When she got shot in New York City……well, he chose not to think about that. That rookie was lucky she survived…..really lucky.

But it wasn't until the ordeal with Holman and Sheila in Kroner that he began to really examine his relationship with Scully. Really examine it. Not that he would ever tell Scully that, but for sometime it seemed that something had changed. Like a foundation had finally settled and they were able to build….something…..on it.

Now he felt it crumbling down. And that's when it struck him: "How many more times can we keep doing this?" he thought as he started the car. He had to do something to keep them from drifting like this. They may have been suspended goddamn weasel Spender but he never imagined that without the work, she would be able to walk out of his life.

He knew he needed to fight for her friendship, but he had no idea where to begin. At the very least, he figured he could start by giving her the benefit of the doubt. He pulled the car off the freeway and made his way to the Watergate Apartment complex.

The voice of reason in his head chimed in one more time as he pulled into the parking lot of the complex.

"Would you even be debating this if it were anyone other than Diana Fowley in question?"

This time, the voice was his own.