TITLE: Wee Hours of the Morning
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Sayid never slept.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.
I.
Sayid had never needed much sleep. Or maybe it was that he never could sleep for long without the nightmares returning. He was always awake as the sun began its accent in the sky, as the colors changed slowly. Some nights he would curse what kept him awake, but not tonight. Tonight he was glad that he did not sleep. Shannon lay beside him, snoring softly. The moonlight shone in her hair causing it to sparkle. He had known since the moment he first saw her that she was beautiful. But now he saw something else. He saw her vulnerability, her innocence. He knew he would protect her at all costs. Tonight was the first night of a fresh start for him, and maybe for her as well.
She shivered in her sleep, and he debated if he should move closer to her. He wanted to. But he was not sure that he could trust himself. Could he simply hold her in his arms and not wish for this – whatever this was – to progress to the next level? But he knew he needed to respect her wishes, needed to respect the fact that she was not ready. And even without having made love tonight, he was still happy. Happier then he had been in a long time. He had hoped tonight would end differently. But watching her sleep was enough.
For now.
II.
Sayid hated that he could not sleep. The images floated through his mind. Mixed with the colors of the sunrise was Shannon's face. Sleeping. Smiling. Crying. Dying. They blended together until he was no longer sure if he was really awake. He ran a hand over his eyes, as the cross in front of him blurred. He spent most nights here now. It was the only way he could be with her. He wished he could hold her again.
He could not stay in the shelter anymore. The one he had built for her. The one they had made love in. The one where their relationship turned serious. It hurt to be in there. Hurt to remember the way it felt to be with her. Hurt to remember her smiling face. Hurt to remember her screams of passion as they made love. Hurt to remember how quickly things had changed. Happiness turned to anger, as he tried to brush off her vision of Walt. If only he had believed her. If only he had trusted her sooner. If only…
It did not matter now what he had done wrong. He had broken his vow to protect her. He had told her he loved her too late. Now he stayed awake watching the sunrise, wishing for a second chance.
The End