Zuko walked to Leiko's room the next morning and knocked on the door. He got to answer and so he knocked again. Still there was no answer, but he could hear shifting around in the room, so he let himself in. Leiko was in bed, facing the wall, staring at the fire nation drape. Zuko sighed and walked further in. "Forgive me if I woke you." He said.
"You didn't." she spoke. It was the first words she had spoken in a day. But she still didn't face him.
"Leiko, what happened yesterday…it wasn't your fault." Zuko tried to comfort her. Leiko just shuddered from under the covers and closed her eyes.
"So killing someone doesn't make me guilty?"
"What I mean is you had no choice but to fight. It was self defense, just like the last time this happened. It's not fair for you to be mad at yourself."
"You don't understand. I didn't have to kill him. I could have just injured him and done nothing more. But I let my anger get the best of me. I killed him. Now I will be spending twelve eternities in hell."
"I understand. It's you that doesn't understand. You've done nothing wrong. If you let him live he would have attacked you again. Maybe it won't happen again."
"Oh it will." She told him, "It will."
"How do you know that?"
"My father wants me dead. If his men don't return, then he'll send on after another until I'm finished. Believe me, nobody knows him better than me. After all, I am a part of him."
"What do you mean?"
"His blood runs through my veins, and because of that we will always be linked. We have many of the same qualities."
"Like what?" and she turned to him.
"Anger, determination, recklessness and other things."
"But you have one quality he doesn't have. You have compassion… and forgiveness. In fact, I'd say the two of you have nothing in common. He has hate and you have the exact opposite." And she sat up and looked at him.
"Really?"
"Really, you are more than you think Leiko. And I can say that, because I know everything about you." He looked down at her wrists and saw gashes. "Except that."
"You don't remember do you?" she asked. He shook his head. "I used to do it all the time. When things were bad and there seemed to be no hope, I would do shameful things. I would use my pocketknife to…rid myself of that anger. You'd try and stop me every time. And when you'd catch me doing it, you'd take me in your arms," she hugged herself, "And tell me not to do it. That everything would be alright. And I believed you. You told me that it was no way to get rid of stress or anger. And that if something was wrong…whenever I needed someone I had you." And then tears fell from her eyes, "And then you left. You left without saying goodbye. You were forced to, and I was forced to live on a terrible life. I would to it so often that I lost the pain, and it toughened me up. I learned to ignore pain on the outside but keep it in on the inside. So I'd dig deeper." And she turned away. "If you were there, you would have been very angry with me." Zuko just looked at her wrist and sighed. He didn't remember. "Please try, just try to remember. Have you pushed yourself to forget the past so hard that you don't even remember?" He just looked at her, "Try to remember Zuko. It might hurt but you have to try."
Zuko thought back into the past. He went past all of the memories out at sea, and then past the memories of his horrible banishment and went back into his childhood. He seemed to recall something. He was only thirteen, and Leiko was twelve. He remembered it clear as day.
Young Prince Zuko was making his way to Leiko's house. He has promised to see her after lunch the day before. As he approached, Captain Zhao came from the dwelling, closing the door behind him and walked away in the opposite direction. It would be a perfect time to see Leiko when her father wasn't around. So he walked up to the domicile and knocked on the iron door. The lock circle on it turned and then it opened, and in front of his stood a very sad Leiko. Her eyes were red and puffy and there were stains of tears down her cheeks. He stepped in, not expecting to see her like that and closed the door behind him. "Leiko, what happened?" he asked her. She just sniffled and showed him the underside of her wrist. Five long bloody gashes were on her. He grabbed her wrist and looked at them. "Leiko, what did he do to you!" he asked with alarm.
"He didn't do it." She replied.
"Than who did?"
"I did." He was shocked and went quiet for a minute, just staring at her. She had done it?
"Why? Leiko, you've never done this before. Why would you do this?"
"Because…I couldn't help myself." And she began to cry. "And my father said it's good for me. It will immune me from pain, he says. But I don't want to do this. I don't know what happened! I was getting yelled at by my father and the next thing I knew, I was in my room with a knife and I…I…" and she started to sob badly and covered her eyes. "I did this!"
"Leiko, don't listen to your father. He's trying to hurt you!" and then he sighed, "I can't believe you did this to yourself?"
"I couldn't help it, Zuko! I couldn't control myself!" and her sobbing worsened. He just wrapped her up in his arms and held her close, wanting to cry himself.
"Oh Leiko, I had hoped you'd never do this."
"I'm sorry,"
"Promise me you won't do it again." He backed away and looked her in the eye. "Promise me Leiko!" he shook her gently.
"I can't promise you that." She replied softly. And he just hugged her again.
"No matter what, I'll always be here for you. So whenever you feel like doing that again you can talk to me. I don't want to see you do this ever again." And he smoothed back her hair, "One day, Zhao will pay for all that he has done to you. He will be sorry. I'll make sure of it."
"How can you do that?"
"I can do anything for you Leiko."
Zuko sat there, looking straight ahead and breathing hard. He fought tears coming to his eyes. He remembered. Going back in his past hurt him so much, and it made him feel vulnerable on the inside. His harsh past, when he was soft and anything could crumble him. He turned to Leiko who was looking at her wrist. He reached out and took her hand. She looked up at him with tears still in her eyes. He looked her in the face and then moved his other hand to her other wrist and lifted it up, exposing the underside, along with some very fresh gashes. He took both her hands in his and looked her in the eyes. "Leiko," he started, "I remember. I remember your tears and the pain I felt when I saw you cry. It always hurt me to see you like that, and it still does. I hate seeing you cry, and I hate seeing you do this. Please stop it, and keep us both happy." She looked at him in amazement. He was speaking from his heart, as if the ice had suddenly melted. "You were my best friend. I know Zhao has done all of this to you, but trust me, he won't get away with it. When I return to the throne, I will expose him for the fool he is." Leiko looked away. And then he placed his hands on her face and forced her to look at him. "Leiko, look at me. As long as I am living I will never let Zhao hurt you ever again."
"How can you do that?" she whispered.
"I can do anything for you Leiko." He said, repeating himself from years ago. "I can and I will."
"Your uncle was right. I am fighting a war inside of me, and I am losing." She began to sob again.
"No, no more crying. Be strong! Don't let him win! You told me that if you crumble then your enemies have won. Don't give Zhao that joy. You must fight him back! Show him that you are not afraid!"
"I am going to lose. I cannot beat him. He rules over me."
"Listen to yourself! This isn't you. This isn't the Leiko I remember. You said you hoped for a brighter day and now you have one. You're free now you will fight him and win."
"I can't."
"You can! I can help you. You're the only bright memory of my past Leiko, and I won't let them separate us again! I can be the old me, I can remember everything, but you have to fight with me." And she looked at him deeper. "Together we can be happy." He whispered. She just leaped forward and hugged him. He hugged her back and she sobbed on his shoulder.
"Don't leave me alone again. I almost died without you there. And now…I'm going to be killed anyway."
"No, you will fight every opposing force in your way and win, like you always do. You're a warrior and my best friend. You can do anything." Leiko just clung to her hero for the rest of the morning, taking in his words.
"That's something the old Zuko would have said." She spoke up after a while.
"That's something the old Zuko can promise." He told her with a smile, "And I will."