Brady Jeopardy!
A/N: This is loosely based on Celebrity Jeopardy, but I don't intend to copy every gag that Saturday Night Live had, as I don't want to get in trouble, and also, it would be boring to read the same, exact gags that Saturday Night Live used. I have spiced it up a bit more. I do not own Jeopardy!, Saturday Night Live, The Wizard of Odds, or The Brady Bunch. Thanks.
Chapter 4: Mike, Carol, and Alice
Wednesday was the next day, and it was decided that even though Marcia was the winner, they would give the adults a chance to play as well. Trebek was strongly in favor of the idea so that he could get rid of the Bradys as soon as possible.
At this moment, the Brady kids sat with the audience, while Mike, Carol, and Alice took their places at the podiums. Then, when the cameras were turned on, Johnny Gilbert said, "This…is Jeopardy! Today, we've got the final three members of the Brady Bunch on Jeopardy! today. Contestant #1 is Mr. Mike Brady, an architect who designed his own home. Contestant #2 is Mrs. Carol Brady, a housewife. Finally, Contestant #3 is Alice Nelson, who is the Bradys' live-in maid. And now, here's the host of Jeopardy!, Alex Trebek!"
Alex Trebek walks onto the stage and has several large, noticeable gashes on his head. "Mr. Trebek, what happened to you?" Mr. Brady called from across the set.
"I was smashing my head with a brick," Trebek said. "Anyway, as Mr. Gilbert has said, we've got the last three members of the Brady Bunch with us today!" said Trebek. "Thank God," he whispered. "Mr. Brady, why don't you go first?" offered Trebek.
"But you haven't introduced the categories yet," Mr. Brady said.
"Oh, that's right, I forgot," Trebek said. Then, the categories appeared on the screens. "The first category is 'airplanes', the second category is 'housework', the third category is 'buildings', the fourth category is 'sewing', the fifth category is 'pets', and the last category is 'mops'. And as I said, Mike can go first."
"Okay, then, I'll chose 'buildings' for $200," Mr. Brady said.
"This is what Alex Trebek wants to jump off of," Trebek read. Mrs. Brady buzzed in. "Carol," Trebek said.
"What is a cliff?" Carol said.
"Nope, that's not right. Remember, look at the category, and it can sometimes serve as a clue," Trebek said. Then, Alice buzzed in. "Alice?" Mr. Trebek said.
"What is a kitchen table?" she said.
"Nope. It was a building," Trebek said. "All the answers in that category are building. You know what, since I just said that, I officially ban you all from selecting something from 'buildings'," said Trebek.
"I'll choose 'buildings' for $800," Mr. Brady said.
"Mike, what did I just say?" Trebek said sternly.
"I didn't hear. I was listening to my record player," Mr. Brady said.
"Your…record player?" Trebek said.
"Yeah," Mr. Brady said. He rolled out a record player on a stand to show that he had one with him.
"Audience, how many of you actually listen to a record player anymore?" Trebek turned and asked the audience. Nobody answered. "So not that it's any of my business, Mike, but why exactly are you listening to a record player?"
"Cause, it's what you listen to music with," Mr. Brady said.
"Um, we've got more modern ways of listening to music. Have you ever heard of a compact disk?" Trebek said.
"Uh…no, I don't think so," Mr. Brady said.
"Never mind, it's not important," Trebek said. "I'll just give the board to Carol," he said.
Carol gasped, "You mean you're actually giving me the board?"
"Well…yeah…I suppose..." Trebek said.
"Oh, thank you, Mr. Trebek!" Mrs. Brady said. She left her podium and ran up to the board. She began searching for a place to lift it off the ground.
"Uh, Mrs. Brady, what exactly are you doing?" Trebek said.
"I'm looking for a place to lift the board. You just said I could have it," she said.
"THAT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH!" shouted Trebek. "Get back to your podium. I'll just let Alice have a turn."
"I'll select 'housework' for $200," Alice said.
"This is the kind of housework that involves taking a rag and brushing it across a surface to remove dust," Trebek said.
Alice buzzed in and said, "What is surfing?"
"Okay, that's it, get off the stage!" ordered Trebek. "I'm not even going to do Final Jeopardy, I've had it with you guys! You're so stupid and outdated it's not even funny!" The Bradys looked a bit upset when they left.
On the way back home, Mr. Brady said, "Don't worry, everyone. Mr. Trebek didn't mean what he said. We're not really stupid and outdated."
"Dad, I've heard people talking about this thing called the Internet," Jan said.
"The what? I've never heard of such a thing. Tell your friends that the Internet doesn't exist," Mr. Brady said. "Tell them that a Brady doesn't believe in things that don't exist."
"Okay, Daddy," Jan said.
"Does anyone want to watch Alice mop the kitchen floor?" Mrs. Brady asked. All the kids shouted happily in excitement. Everyone laughed as they drove back home.
Meanwhile, back at the Jeopardy! set, Trebek and Gilbert began a conversation. Trebek looked much more relieved and satisfied. "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad that we won't have to deal with the Brady Bunch anymore," he said.
"Hey, Alex, don't you have the feeling you forgot something?" Gilbert said.
"You know, I think we did," Trebek said. "Oh well, it's probably not important."
Meanwhile, inside the Brady house, Trebek's Brain Bus is in the living room. The Bradys spray painted flowers and peace signs all over it. They made it look more 70s. "When Trebek comes back to get his Brain Bus, I'm sure he'll be much happier with us when he sees how we've fancied it for him," Greg said. The other Bradys agreed, and they kept adding 70s decorations to Trebek's Brain Bus.