((stares at reviews)) Yikes. Did I ever mention I love you guys to death?
No plot as of yet. Don't worry, it's coming. Here's what would really happen if…you'll find out.
Heh.
Fun with Fleshies
How much trouble would I get into for squishing him?
Round, mammalian eyes stared up at him. As Starscream stared back, the young human fidgeted nervously.
It was the one whom Starscream had unconsciously begun thinking of as the Second-In-Command of the base's fleshling infestation. The pale, blue-clad creature was in charge, although Alexis was clearly the power behind the throne. The remaining two were easily classified as 'cannon fodder'.
This one, he noticed, had a tendency to stick the word 'man' onto the ends of his sentences with irritating frequency.
"So, how 'bout it, man?"
The evolution of the human race startledthe seeker a little. Their planet was hostile, their weather was lousy, they were defenseless and not hugely intelligent, and yet the damned things were everywhere.
In fact, he reflected, when you thought about it like that, they were almost likeable. From a purely Decepticon point of view.
"Dude?"
This one, on the other hand, should clearly be culled for the good of the species.
"Go away."
And that should have done it, blast it all! The stupid squashy thing should have gulped, turned and run for his life. He should not have looked like Cyclonus denied the opportunity to destroy something large with a 'bang'.
"Aw, c'mon, man. Please?"
"Go. Away."
"Aaaaaw, c'mon!"
I must not step on it-...him. Must not step on him. Stepping on i-...him would leave a mess that one of the Autobots would be sure to find.
Sometimes, Starscream wished he had been manufactured with optic lasers. They tended to impair a good portion of one'svision and could cause the most ruthless headaches, but they were so, so effective in getting a point across.
They probably wouldn't notice a tidy little pile of ash…
As he lost himself in glorious fantasy, the squishy foldedits arms and, to his blunt amazement, stared crossly at him.
"Well, why the heck not, huh! All the Autobots-…"
He cut himself short as Starscream glanced around, then lowered himself onto one knee. Leaning forward so that his face loomed mere meters from the human boy's face, he kept his voice quiet and low. Even if Lserbeak was hiding somewhere in the rafters, he wouldn't have detected the seeker's next words.
"If you don't get out of here right now, you little punk, I'm going to eat you."
Now, thank Primus, the fleshy looked scared. He gave a shaky nod and, to Starscream's admiration, turned and walked dejectedly away.
Finally, Starscream thought, and returned to training.
He was carrying yet another crate of tools to Smokescreen, having been persuaded/ordered into actually helping out by Prime(aargh) when a small, hopeful voice stopped him dead.
(Why, he wondered, did Prime just assume that he was skilled at hull repair? True, it was a hugely basic skill, but what did that matter? He was a Decepticon warrior, not a construction drone!
And it would have to be hull repair, wouldn't it. It wasn't that he was incapable of something as simple as welding metal together, but…his area of construction expertise tended more towards the inner gizzards of space craft. Delicate pieces of wiring and fragile bits that required hours spent fiddling gave him no problems whatsoever. But as for the proper technique of patching the exterior, a task even the simplest Decepticon warrior was supposed to be capable of, when it came to that, his education had been a bit…lacking.
(Not that he was embarrassed, of course. Embarrassment was an emotion unworthy of the universe's most ruthless fighting force.)
So he was carrying tools, and trying very hard not to think, Merciful gods, if Megatron could see me now.)
Only eons of training prevented him from dropping the lot as he spun to face the voice…
…on the ground.
Aaaaiieeee.
He grimaced. The human boy grinned, admittedly rather nervously.
"Heya, Starscream! Say, I got a great idea, man! How about we-…"
"Get lost."
"But-…"
Turning to leave (although not without contemplating dropping the crate of the squishy's head and making for the moon as quickly as possible), Starscream growled. Instantly, the fleshy shut up.
Primus, what am I doing here?
"Hey, Starscream!-…"
Tshiiing.
"Oh. O-okay man, that's cool…"
Watching Carlos scurry off, Starscream replaced his wing-sword with a twinge of satisfaction.
"Starscream!"
He whirled around, opened his mouth to shriek all manner of coarse, foul-minded threats, and choked into silence at the sight of the Autobot Leader's eternally complacent face.
Scrap. Evasive maneuvers now.
He got no further than "Uh…" before Optimus Prime cut him off with a hearty, firm, very Autobot-ish nod.
"Good to see you. I was wondering if you could do me a small favor. The kids have been pestering me for a few days now…"
Starscream, whose mind was still gawking at the 'Good to see you' (What kind of a commander IS this mechanism!), regained enough coherent thought to blurt out, "What?"
Optimus paused, before continuing; "Like I said, the kids and I were thinking about how nice it would be of you to take them for a ride sometime."
The seconds passed. The air molecules drifted. Any impression an onlooker may have gotten of time standing still was incorrect, but understandable. Slowly, Starscream said, "I beg your pardon?", as a sizeable portion of his pride went "Eeek!" and curled up into a ball.
He couldn't see it, but he knew, he just knew that the bastard was smiling. And it would be a nice smile too, full of compassion and a desire to promote only good will. Bastard.
"Well, it was mostly just Carlos. He wants to take a ride, have a chance to get to know you. It'll be fun."
YOU BASTARD! YOU! BASTARD!
Taking Starscream's stunned silence completely the wrong way, Optimus Prime chuckled in a convivial, father-like way that made the seeker positively ache to reach out and choke him.
"Oh, don't worry. You'll do fine. Most of the others have given them rides at one point or another, it helps to forge ties. So, you'll do it? Excellent."
Optimus Prime had walked only eight steps before he heard the crash.
"Starscream…?"
The seeker ground his teeth. This was, doubtlessly, the worse megacycle of his entire existence. As if actually fainting in front of the Autobot High Commander wasn't sufficiently mortifying, he had also been completely unsuccessful in talking his way out of this loathsome little task. Wheedling, shrieking, whining, conniving, flat out refusing, nothing ha worked. Somehow, somehow the miserly piece of hypocritical cowardly evil cheating lying filthy damned hateful slagging piece of scrap lousy arrogant back-sliding Autobot had made him do it. He hadn't shouted. He hadn't bargained. He hadn't even ordered. He'd just stood there, looking so damned patient, and asked him, very politely. And had kept on asking him until Starscream had found himself stuck between returning to Megatron's side and giving in. He'd given in.
"This is so totally awesome!" cheered Carlos, having crawled, with the assistance of his fleshy compatriots, into his cockpit.
Slag everything.
The jet lay sunk in self-pity, as he heard the fleshy speak suddenly to him, a new note of concern in his voice.
"Hey, don't go too high, man, okay? I kinda get airsick sometimes."
…
Preoccupied with excitedly checking out the seeker's interior, Carlos carelessly assumed that he'd imagined the very soft snigger that echoed from Starscream's inner radio.
Starscream transformed, sighed, and flexed upwards in a long stretch. Mmm, that had been lovely. Nothing was better that a good, long flight after an entire day cooped inside a buried base.
A little way away, the two cannon-fodder fleshies caught their friend as he stumbled into their arms, murmuring things like 'no, don't want to die' and 'uuugh…'.
Automatically, the seeker took a quick, routine glance at his wings. Excellent, neither of them seemed to have suffered any damage in the vertical plunge. Here and there were strain marks from where split-seconds maneuvering in between the canyon walls had taken its toll, but nothing that self-repair couldn't handle. Of course, that left the small matter of thoroughly sterilizing his cockpit, but Swindle wouldn't mind…
"Well. That was fun", the seeker said to nobody in particular as he exited the landing bay, passing Alexis on the way.
The girl stared after him, sighed, and said, flatly, "You're a sadistic creep."
The expression the seeker flashed her was almost too fleeting to be a sharp-edged grin, and the brief optical flicker almost too miniscule to be a wink.