"Hello?"
"Hey.." I quietly greet her.
"Oh, hey.. how.. is he?" she answered hesitantly, she could tell by my quietness that I wasn't really that good right. And she was right, I wasn't. How come I'm this easy to read?
"Oh he's.. well, he's not really that good. Neither am I. He just told me.. about the.. accident. It was horrible.. I mean.. you should've seen his face. He was so scared. He actually told me that, that he was scared. Luke is never scared! I mean do you ever remember Luke being the one in this situation? Why does it have to be him? It could've been me.. or something.. something other than this! Please.. just, I don't want him to be here. Rory, I really, really, dont want to be here either. But I can't leave." Ranting is probably not a very good idea right now, but oh well.
"Mom, mom. Stop. Please, you can't do anything about it now, you just have to be there for him. Just don't hold it up inside of you and then let it all come out at once? Ok? Good. And it wouldn't have been better if it was you, then he would be in your place, would you really want this for him? It just happened. Life happens. Do you want me to come? He's not the only one who needs someone.. mom?"
"Yes, yes.. are you sure? You really don't have to, I'll be fine for now.. I'm sorry, just ignore that I called."
"No, I will come. Just, five more minutes and I'll be there, ok? Meet me by the front entrance, just.. don't move." Before I could even respond, Rory had hung up and was on her way here. To the hospital. I let out a deep long sigh, and went inside to get more coffee.
About 10 minutes later she was outside, bad kid, she was 5 minutes late.. or else it was me, who actually forgot where the closest coffee machine was to the entrance, not the one all the way near his room, which is about.. 5 minutes away from the entrance. Whatever. Atleast I got my coffee. We didn't even say each other, she just came up to me, and gave me a long hug. That was needed, I admit.
After us standing there just in each other's arms for about 10 minutes, we finally broke apart and went to a bench that was near the entrance.
"Mom.. are you ok? Good enough to go inside?" she asked gently.
"I'm good now. Let's go." With that I got up from the bench and started to head to the entrance. When I noticed that Rory wasn't behind me following, I turned around and looked at her. "What are you waiting for? Come on." I went inside, not even turning around that time, she could come when she felt like it I guess. After a minute we reached the room and we both stopped outside the door, looking at each other. I knew she wouldn't reallybe expecting what she saw inside, I wasn't really sure if I should take her in there yet anyways. Maybe its better if we waited a bit longer? I don't really know. No. No, no, no. She can go in if she feels she's ready. It's not my choice for her to go in or not. She should be able to, and she should go in, too. She cares about Luke just like I do, she really should see him. He cares about Rory so much, too. It's like she is partly his daughter. That thought makes me smile, because he really is like one to her.
He's always been there for her. For me. For us.
She turns and looks at me, and I can tell she's hesitating to go in. Especially since she's seen how I've been when I come out. I give her a nod that tells her she should go in, and I tell her that I'll wait out here. She walks in, and I go and sit in one of the chairs sitting against the wall to his room. I wait.
About ten minutes past before the door opened and Rory came out of the room, I could tell she had been crying, her face was tear stained and her eyes were red. My heart broke for her, just like hers had for me.
"Hey, are you ok?" I asked her, I knew she wouldn't really tell me what she really thought, because she would try to put on that brave face that was so readable.
"Ya, I'm fine.. I'm just gonna sit down. I just.. he wants to see you, he thought I was you when I first went in."
I silently nodded, stood up and walked towards the door, looking back at my beautiful child who wasn't alright, which bothered me. I went in a second later. When I walked in, he looked up at me sleepily, probably still tired from everything that had been happening. I didn't really know what I should do. I couldn't be the one who put on the mask now, even though now I probably have to..
"Hi," I started softly, not wanting him to wake up fully again. I continued, wanting to know how it went with Rory. "How did it go with her? Were you glad to see her? I wasn't really sure if I should've so I just did.. I didn't think really, sorry, I just thought you might've liked to see someone you-" I was cut off by Luke's hand over my mouth, and him well. Telling me to well, shut up I guess.
"Hey.. shh," he stated quietly. "It's fine that you sent in Rory. I'm actually glad.. I needed to see another familiar face. It helped, it really did, and I want to thank you for it." he smiled up at me and brought me down for a slow gentle kiss, which mixed in with my tears. I don't exactly know why I started crying, maybe it was just the emotions getting to me of this whole thing. I wasn't ready for it. When we broke apart he wiped away my tears, making me smile like an idiot.
"You should go back to sleep, unless you want something, and I can get it for you. Or Rory. She's still here."
"No, I don't want anything. Except the pain to go away, but I don't think you can do anything about that. I just want you here. With me. Please stay?" What could I do? I stayed.