A/N: Hey there, if any of you are thinking "Huh...where have I seen this before?" Then you've probably been to the Sam/Jack NC17 Fanfiction site where I am known as StargateBarbie!

This is the first time I've posted here, so hope the story's up to scratch!

It's set waaaaaaay into the future (Ok, like, 20 years or so!) and has a few spoilers from series 1-8.

Disclaimer: The nice boss men at Stargate SG1 refuse to give them to me, no matter how much I flutter my eyelashes, so they ain't mine...yet mwahahahahahaha! (Except Carol and Alec; who are...mine...yay!)

PURPLE JELLO.

When I transferred to the famous Stargate Command Facility over at Cheyenne Mountain, it was with a sense of happiness, pride and achievement. Securing a placement on SSG-14 (One of the new teams in charge of ensuring the safety of alien technology, pathogens, plant life etc. before it is brought home.) I was eagerly anticipating joining a Base with a history of such prestige. It was therefore with as much respect as I could muster that I greeted my commanding officer, General Jennifer Hailey…a prodigy of the recently retired Hero, General Samantha Carter's.

"Captain Carol Lucas reporting for duty Ma'am."

She greeted me kindly and had an airman show me to my quarters where I was to wait for my orientation lessons. This was my chance to learn as much as possible about the place that was to become such an important factor of my life. My chance to get to grips with the real SGC from the veterans of its time. My chance to become truly familiar with the place where SG1 dedicated their lives to saving the World; protecting us from countless enemies.

However I did not expect the orientation tutors to be so…young.

"Hi, you Carol?"

The lanky teenage boy asked grumpily, ruffling his messy jet black hair and pushing up his glasses before they slid off the end of his nose.

"Alec, don't be so rude!"

The girl of about sixteen standing next to him elbowed the unsuspecting fourteen year old in the ribs, winking at me. She flashed me a dazzling smile when he harrumphed.

"I'm so Sorry Captain Lucas…he's in withdrawal from Starbucks espressos. We'll swing by the commissary later and get him his fix…he should perk up again after that."

As she talked I noticed she gestured constantly with her right hand, keeping her left jammed firmly in the pocket of her BDUs except when tucking her long blonde curly hair behind her ear, her large dark brown eyes shining mischievously. She grinned at me again.

"Are you ready to go explore the Base, Ma'am?"

I blinked, slightly taken aback at the unexpected appearance of my teenage companions and the confident self-assured manner of such a young girl, I nodded my head and willed my feet to move after them as they set off down the corridor.

"Okay…so, we're here to show you the ins and outs of the SGC. I know our age must be a shock to you, but believe me when I say no-one knows this maze like me and Alec. Well, except maybe some of the original staff. We'll be starting at the top levels and working our way down. If you have any questions we'll be happy to answer them for you….unless it's classified of course!"

Hit once again by the 100 mega-watt grin, I increased my pace to catch up with the pair. The boy, whose name's apparently 'Alec' started talking.

"Now our brand of orientation is slightly different to what you'll be used to…we'll still be giving you all that military mumbo-jumbo…"

The girl…or 'Smiler' as I dubbed her…frowned at this and glared at the back of his head. Huh, if looks could kill…

"…but we'll also include a little SGC history too."

Smiler, still scowling, said in a sing-song voice;

"And by that he means he's gonna dish the proverbial dirt on SG1. Consider this your free of charge SGC grapevine guided tour."

Alec turned and gave me a slightly gawky smirk which developed into a chuckle when she added;

"Tips not included."

SSG14SSG14SSG14SSG14SSG14SSG14SSG14SSG14

Four hours later I trudged wearily into the commissary, dragging my feet. My exhausted whimpers were beaten in forlornness only by Alec's small moans of coffee-deprived anguish. Smiler bounced ahead of us, seeping with an energy she had found from who knows where.

The leggy blonde with a penchant for sarcastic one-liners had spent the entire tour fidgeting constantly and yapping on and on about science so advanced even I struggled to understand what she was talking about.

By the time I had taken all that information in it was time for 'the grapevine tour' which consisted of Alec and Smiler taking turns to regale me with stories from the exploits of SG1.

The tour itself was plain bizarre. All "To your left is the staircase to the briefing room…Jack O'Neill accidentally pushed Sergeant Siler down them once…he was wearing an alien bracelet at the time." and "To your right is the room where Danny went all glowy. Oh…the first time! The second time he was returned butt-naked in the General's office…he said the look Bratac gave him was slightly disconcerting!" followed by "This is where Sam jumped Jack under the influence of an alien virus. And this is where Teal'c says he started to learn ballet during the time-loop!'

I sighed and shook my head, trying to rid myself of THAT particular image, lining up at the back of a ridiculously long queue for food.

It was when I finally reached the front that I saw it…just sitting there, as if a gift from the Lord himself. Or at least someone who knows about my strange obsession with the divine creation that is…

PURPLE JELL-O!

I loaded it greedily onto my tray and returned to where Smiler and Alec were sat waiting for me.

"Well something's got you happy!"

Smiler exclaimed, eyes wide at the ridiculous expression spread across my face.

"I'm sorry…its just I've never seen purple Jell-O on a Base before…it's normally just red and blue!"

Alec helped me out on that one.

"Oh the purple was introduced in honor of Sam Carter and Jack O'Neill's marriage! You see Sam loves blue and Jack prefers red…so the staff of the SGC just combined their favorite flavors and voila! There was a ceremony to celebrate its introduction with cake and everything! Any excuse for a party!"

As his words processed through my Jell-O crazed mind my mouth fell open and I gasped.

NO WAY!

"Oh my god…they got married!"

There was never anything in the files on Carter and O'Neill's relationship, not any newspaper articles or footage from when the program was revealed to the public, suggesting that they were anything other than good friends. I hero-worshipped SG1…read as much as I could…I can't believe I never knew those two fell in love!

Grace crinkled her nose, ducked her chin and smirked, not the blinding smile…but a very, very cheeky smirk!

"I sure hope so…Grandpa Hammond would kick Dad's ass if I were illegitimate!"

Her Dad? She doesn't mean…? She isn't…? Oh I had to know!

"Your D-Dad!"

"Yeah…Holy Hannah, didn't I say?"

I shook my head, mouthing wordlessly.

"Oh For crying out loud…I'm such a dolt! Sorry…let me introduce myself…I'm Grace, Grace O'Neill. My parents are…"

"Grace, you ready to go home?"

I cricked my neck with the speed I swiveled my head to see who had spoke and promptly dropped my spoon when I saw who it was.

"Hi Mom, I was just talking about you! This is Captain Carol Lucas; Carol's just transferred to one of Jennifer's SSG teams. Carol; this is my Mom. You probably know her as General Carter."

I stood shakily at attention and executed a snappy salute.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ma'am."

She smiled and I stared…that very same smile had just been following me constantly for hours in the sixteen year old form of Smiler…I mean Grace…and here it was being aimed at me again from one of my greatest Heroes.

"At ease Captain…I'm retired. It's just Sam now."

"Did you say JUST Sam? JUST Sam…is that even possible? You my dear darling wife, are Dr Sam 'Carter' O'Neill, and don't you forg – oooo looky…Jell-O! Are you done with this?"

It was by force of will that I didn't faint. Jack O'Neill…THE Jack O'Neill…just walked into the room, dressed in worn out jeans and wearing a scrumptious leather Jacket. He went up to Sam Carter, hugged her from behind, kissed her neck, smirked Smiler's smirk…and asked me for my Jell-O!

"I…uh…wha…?"

Oh great first impression there! Well done Carol…points for effort.

"Jack! I can't believe you just asked a complete stranger for Jell-O! That's so rude!"

General O'Neill tightened his arms around her waist, rocked her gently, and used Grace's sing-song tone to whine;

"Saaaaam…it's PURPLE!"

I watched in amazement as her eyes immediately dilated and she seductively licked her lips, wiggled out of his grasp, turned and winked at him.

"Oh. Purple…why didn't you say! I'll go spring a couple of glasses from the cook!"

And as she walked away she pinched his ass…in the middle of the commissary!

Grace crinkled her nose and followed her, drawling;

"Eeeeew Mom, quit it! You are soooo unsubtle!"

I waved goodbye to the red-faced teen as the O'Neill family left to go home, holding cases of the Jell-O goodness in their arms, Jack blatantly stared at his wife's ass with an appreciative glaze in those dark chocolate eyes, Sam grinned a cheeky smile that quite clearly meant 'Mmmm Jack and Jell-O…yummy!'

My mind reeled from all I had learnt in the past few minutes.

O'Neill and Carter married and had a kid…No Way! The gossip on this Base is so awesome!

I turned to Alec, who had finally got his hands on an espresso, and asked;

"Is it always this crazy here?"

I scoop up a copious amount of my chosen desert and await his answer.

"Yeah, pretty much. Actually, most of the time its worse, what with all the aliens and stuff! Well, I gotta go. I think Mom's about to come back through the Gate."

"Oh…your Mom works here?"

"Not exactly…you might have heard of her actually! Her name's Vala! She's sort of a freelance good guy! Oh and I didn't really introduce myself either. My name is Alec…Alec Jackson…Daniel's son! Well, I guess I'll see ya around!"

The spoonful of Jell-O dripped onto my lap, forgotten midway to my mouth.

Vala and Jackson had a kid?

No Way!

GOD I LOVE GOSSIPING OVER PURPLE JELL-O!

FINI

A/N: Please R & R